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The Sunnydale Herald, Friday May 1
by audela (1 May 2015)

ILLYRIA: (to Wesley) You reek of frustration. Curls off of you like smoke.
SPIKE: Actually, love, we call that scotch. 12-year Lagavulin, if I'm not mistaken. Good choice.
WESLEY: It's nothing. I'm just, uh... I had a...slight disagreement with Angel.
SPIKE: Oh, old broody-pants got you wound up, eh? Keep in mind, he can't get laid without maybe going crazy. Makes it funny.
ILLYRIA: In my time, a leader would punish your insolence with death.
WESLEY: We're not being insolent, Illyria.
SPIKE: I am.

~~Origin~~


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The Sunnydale Herald,Thursday April 30
by Rahirah (30 April 2015)

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The Sunnydale Herald
by Waddiwasiwitch (27 April 2015)

HARMONY: Come on, Spikey. Come dance with me.
SPIKE: You have got to be kidding.
HARMONY: Oh, come on!
SPIKE: Listen, chippie, you can gyrate all you like. I'll go to hell before these ghost shoes touch that dance floor.
HARMONY: Ohh, blondie bear, where is your Halloween spirit? SPIKE: Dearly departed. All this claptrap for a bit of dusty old Druid nonsense. The whole silly lot of you can get hung if you ask me

~~ife of the Party~~


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The Sunnydale Herald
by Waddiwasiwitch (25 April 2015)

Fred: "Are you certain this is the place for us?"
Cordy: "Well, we could always get our outfits at 'Cave-girl's House of Burlap,' but that's just so last season. The guys are all renting tuxes. We gotta step up."
Fred: "But aren't we - you know - poor?"
Cordy: "There is a custom amongst my people. It's called 'buying a dress, wearing it once, and returning it the next day.' It's all about hiding the tags while it's on."
Fred: "Oh. Okay. I'm very excited about tonight. I love the ballet! I mean, I haven't seen that much, but my family used to go to the Nutcracker every Christmas, and I had my first sexual dream about the Mouseking."

~~Waiting in the Wings~~


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The Sunnydale Herald, Friday April 24
by audela (24 April 2015)

SPIKE: There's thousands of different kinds of hells. You got your fire hell, your ice hell... your... ice hell. Your upside-down hell.
ANGEL: I don't care if he's in toy poodles on parade hell. He's got information that we need.
SPIKE: According to the girl whose only reason for being is to see her little pookie bear again.
EVE: I'm not lying. (to Lorne) Well, tell him I'm not lying.
LORNE: No one can fake it through the piña colada song. Not once the chorus kicks in.
ANGEL: If Lindsey can tell me what the senior partners have planned, I want him. You got a better idea how to do it, I'm totally open.
SPIKE: Didn't say that. Just pointed out that this one sucks. We're looking for a hell dimension in a haystack. How are we supposed to know—
GUNN: I know. And I can get us in.
ANGEL: Us?

~~Underneath~~


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The Sunnydale Herald
by Waddiwasiwitch (18 April 2015)

Xander: Giles lived for school. He's actually still bitter that there are only twelve grades.
Buffy: He probably sat in math class thinking, 'There should be more math. This could be mathier.'
Willow: C'mon, you don't think he ever got restless as a kid?
Buffy: Are you kidding? His diapers were tweed.

~~The Dark Age~~


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The Sunnydale Herald, Friday April 17
by audela (17 April 2015)

ANGEL: That's Illyria.
WESLEY: In its native form.
SPIKE: What are these smaller bits?
WESLEY: Her army of doom.
SPIKE: There's a shock.
ANGEL: They were entombed with her.
WESLEY: Waiting for her return.
SPIKE: To Los Angeles?
WESLEY: This is where her temple was millions of years ago, and it's still here.
ANGEL: Well, you think I would've remembered seeing something like this parked next to The Ralph's.

~~Shells~~


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The Sunnydale Herald, Thursday, April 16
by Rahirah (16 April 2015)

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The Sunnydale Herald
by Waddiwasiwitch (13 April 2015)

BUFFY: Okay, you have everything you need?
DAWN: (interrupting) Yep.
BUFFY: And after school, you-
DAWN: Yeah yeah. Let's go, Xander. (walking toward the door)
BUFFY: (intercepting her) You will come straight home.
DAWN: (sarcastic) Sure. Maybe we can find some time for you to (Buffy opens door) get me into another car accident.

~~Gone~~


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The Sunnydale Herald
by Waddiwasiwitch (11 April 2015)

BOWLING VAMPIRE 1 (sighs) Aw, that ain't gonna work.
BOWLING VAMPIRE 2 Could've told you that. Clean up my lane, jackass. (pushes the other vampire down the lane)
BOWLING VAMPIRE 1 (picks up the head, walks back to the front of the lane) "Let's go to L. A.," you said. "Sun's gone out," you said. "Going to be the feast of the century." But the sun is back, and here we are wasting our time...bowling.
BOWLING VAMPIRE 2 I'm telling you, something big is coming, and when it gets here, we're gonna be in prime position for—
ANGEL An ass whoppin'?

~~Shiny Happy People~~


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The Sunnydale Herald, Friday April 10
by audela (10 April 2015)

SPIKE: Harmony just pulled me out of a very promising poker game down in Accounts Receivable, so this better be good. Oh, and, by the way, all the guys down there agree that astronauts don't stand a chance against cavemen, so don't even start.
ANGEL: Look, I can't do this anymore.
SPIKE: Admitting defeat, are you?
ANGEL: You and me. This isn't working out.
SPIKE: (mock hurt) Are you saying we should start annoying other people?
ANGEL: I'm saying you should go.
SPIKE: You really can't stand the competition, can you?

~~A Hole in the World~~


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The Sunnydale Herald, Wednesday, April 8 - Thursday, April 9
by Rahirah (9 April 2015)

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The Sunnydale Herald, Sunday April 5
by Rahirah (6 April 2015)

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The Sunnydale Herald
by Waddiwasiwitch (4 April 2015)

FEMALE RADIO ANNOUNCER: And in an impromptu speech today, the mayor—I really love that guy, don't you?— The mayor declared Los Angeles the first "Citadel of Jasmine," a cradle of civilization which will usher in a new age for all of humanity. In related news, the L.A. Archdiocese has stated to the press that it will remove all false idols from its churches, replacing them with images of she who walks among us. Way to go, Catholic Church. Yes, it's a great day to be alive.
LORNE: Well, talk about media bias. Well, not that I wanna talk about media bias. It seems rather moot right now. Speakin' of moot, what about us? Anyone else feel like the last feisty wife in Stepford?
FRED: What are we gonna do? What can we do?
WESLEY: There has to be an answer.
ANGEL:There has to be a way. We just need time.
GUNN: To hell with that. We need a damn break. But the universe don't seem to be handing breaks out to the underdog lately. No leads, no database, no weapons, no shelter.
WESLEY: And very little gas.
FRED: We should've taken Connor with us. He looked so— What if he doesn't wake up?
ANGEL: What if we took him and he did?

~~Sacrifice~~


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The Sunnydale Herald, Friday April 3
by audela (3 April 2015)

PUPPET ANGEL: Lorne...
LORNE: My little prince!
(Angel groans and collapses; Lorne goes to his side)
LORNE: Ohh... what did they do to you?
PUPPET ANGEL: Nina... tried to... eat me.
LORNE: Medic! You're gonna make it, Angel. Just don't stop fighting. (yells out) Doctor! Is there a Geppetto in the house?!

~~Smile Time~~


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