Out of My Mind
(August 22, 2000)
Written by: Rebecca Rand Kirshner
EXT. CEMETERY - NIGHT (NIGHT ONE)
The silent moonlit graveyard. All seems as it should: the dead underground and the living elsewhere. But there, atop a crypt, the shadow of a creature; SOMETHING LIES IN WAIT.
Moonlight illuminates the creature. It's Buffy, perched like a jungle cat waiting for her prey. She cocks her head, sensing something. She stands, her large, rough-hewn stake in hand, and then LEAPS from the crypt, hitting the ground and rolling deftly to her feet. Her instincts lead her forward, stalking, then running; on the hunt.
Then Buffy stops abruptly. She's in a new area of the graveyard. There are some empty graves waiting for coffins and some recently filled. Sensing something, she raises her stake and thrusts it toward a fresh plot... AT NOTHING.
But just before her stake hits earth, two vampire arms break through. POOF! Her stake penetrates his chest and he is dusted before he could emerge...
Buffy pivots, just as a nearby grave bursts open and a recently dead vamp begins to crawl his way out. The vampire is animalistic; extra-muscley and vicious. He SNARLS and ATTACKS.
Buffy deflects his attack with a series of well-placed kicks, driving the vamp back towards a nearby tomb. She pulls back her stake, preparing to dust... when SOMEBODY DASHES OUT from behind the tomb, and tackles the vampire out of frame.
The vamp buckles and the renegade hunter is revealed...
Riley is surprised (and pleased) to see her, too.
Buffy! What are you doing here?
Behind Riley, the vampire rises again...
I just thought you were in the north
...and in a flash Riley's on him. He grabs the vamp, LIFTS HIM clear off the ground and HURLS him against the nearby tomb.
The vamp crumples, woozy. Riley's there. He straddles the vamp, PUNCHING him in the face. Then pulls a stake from his back pocket and DUSTS THE VAMP GOOD.
Meanwhile, a second grave erupts and another muscle-bound vamp begins to emerge. Buffy charges over, ready. She cocks her stake, no stalling around this time, and is about to pierce the sucker's heart when suddenly, a blur of platinum hair and dark overcoat comes between them. SPIKE tackles her vampire. Buffy is left again, all staked up and no one to kill.
Why do I even bother to show up?
Spike begins kicking and punching at the other vamp with erratic zeal. They tumble across the graveyard.
What are you doing here, Spike?
Same reason as you and your cub
scout, I'd wager. Wanted a spot
of violence before bedtime.
The vamp delivers an UPPERCUT to Spike's nose. Which begins to bleed. Spike touches the blood with his finger, tastes it absently. Buffy's had enough. She KICKS Spike out of the way and dusts the vamp. She shakes her head at Spike.
What? I softened 'im up.
Keep out of my way, Spike. I'm not
gonna take this much longer.
So I should do what with my time?
Sit at home knitting cunning sweater sets?
Would it keep you out of my way?
She's right. You shouldn't be out
here when she's patrolling.
Startled, Buffy turns to Riley, about to point out that he shouldn't be here either, but she changes her mind... she doesn't want to say anything in front of Spike.
Ooh. I saw that. Looks like neither
boy is entirely welcome. Better take
him home, Slayer, make him stay there.
I got knitting needles he can borrow.
Spike, I just saw you taste your own
nose blood and, you know what, I'm
too grossed out to even hear you
right now. Go home.
Riley and Buffy walk away.
(called after them, defensive)
It's blood! It's what I do!
Riley puts his arm around Buffy, squeezes tight. A tiny bit too tight.
Hope I didn't get in the way.
Of course not. I was just startled.
You know, and I don't love the idea
of you patrolling alone...
I'm not much for bench warming.
No, no - you made the squad. You
tossed that vamp like he was a...
little teeny vamp.
She gives him a smooch.
You wanna go again? C'mon. I bet
this place is just teeming with
Buffy looks around, senses nothing.
Nah, unless we go back and kill Spike
just for the fun of it...
A moment as they consider the notion - then decide against, heading out.
ANGLE ON SPIKE, still standing where we left him, watching Buffy and Riley moving out of sight. His eyes narrow, menacingly.
I will know your blood, Slayer.
I will make your neck my chalice
and drink deep.
Spike wipes his nose on his sleeve. With a petulant toss of his head and a flourish of overcoat, he turns and walks deeper into the cemetery.
But his elegant exit is thwarted when he missteps and suddenly falls into AN EMPTY GRAVE.
INT. COMMONS - DAY (DAY 2)
Students mill, talking and laughing lightheartedly. Among them we find two serious faces. Buffy and WILLOW are obviously discussing something important:
You can't possibly be arguing that
Marat didn't betray the French
revolutionaries. This was the guy
who declared the 'Rights of Man',
and next thing you know he's
killing Girondin like it's going
out of style--
Will. You're totally missing my
point. I agree that Marat wasn't a
real martyr. All I'm saying is, the
death in the tub? The neck wound?
All that blood? More fangy than
knifey, okay? So Charlotte Corday
was no martyr either--
Willow grabs Buffy's arm, a shocked expression on her face.
Listen to us. We're arguing. We're
having a debate about a college
lecture. I've dreamt of this day
She beams at her friend.
You're turning into quite the
student. Should I be watching
my occipital lobe?
Occipital, the lobe at the back of
the brain. Like should I be watching
my back? But you know, the back of
Apparently not. Don't worry Will,
you still wear the smarty pants in
I don't know. You've been studying
really a lot.
I try, but they're already piling on
the reading and of course Giles is
filling in the little corners of free
time with extra training. I'm
starting to think this working
hard is hard work.
Isn't it crazy like that?
I thought it was gonna be more like
in the movies. You know, inspirational
music and a montage: me sharpening
pencils, reading, writing, falling
asleep on a big pile of books with
my glasses all crooked because
in the montage I have glasses. Real
life is so slow and it hurts my
Poor Buffy's brain.
I actually have to head to training
right now, wanna come with?
Willow links her arm through Buffy's.
I'm in. Maybe we can argue some more
about the French Revolution as we
walk, huh? Wasn't Robespierre the coolest?
Robespierre, are you kidding me?
Just gettin' it going.
INT. THE MAGIC BOX - DAY
CLOSE ON the WHIRRING BLADE of a circular saw. As it slows and spins to a stop we see its dangerous, toothy edge.
It seems the plans worked perfectly.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL: GILES, wearing a voice-muffling painter's mask and holding a stain-laden brush. He lowers the mask, smiling at XANDER, who we now see is building a set of wooden shelves. On the floor lie a series of sketches for the shelves with noted measurements etc.
Yeah, blueprints, not a bad idea.
That and getting straight 'Measure
twice, cut once'. You know for the
longest time I had it backwards.
Well, I must say I'm impressed.
As Xander fits the freshly cut board into the shelves:
Carpentry is pretty cool. Did you
know that Harrison Ford used
to be a carpenter?
They say Christ was
a carpenter as well.
But Harrison Ford! Wouldn't it be
cool if I could meet him, and like,
talk about carpenter stuff? Particle
board and, um, bevelling...
The DOORBELL CHIMES. As we follow Giles to the door we see the full breadth of the Magic Box. Shipments of potions, artifacts and books clutter the expansive shop. TARA arranges silken pillows in a corner. ANYA races across the room with a shrunken monkey head in one hand and a fizzy potion in the other.
Who put the monkey head near the Styx
water? Do we want to pick exploded
monkey out of our hair?
She puts down the fizzing Styx water and pets the monkey's shriveled head, talking to it:
Don't worry little guy. Anya's not
going to let that mean water hurt you.
The DOORBELL sounds again. Giles opens the door, admitting Willow and Buffy.
Trick or treat.
Hello you two, come on in.
Thank you kind proprietor.
They continue into the shop.
Hey. Oh wow, this place is looking
so great. I feel like a witch in a
magic shop. Ooh, are those real newt eyes?
No, too rich for my blood, I'm
afraid. These are salamander eyes.
It's the cataracts which give them
their newt-like appearance.
They're really equally effective
though. It's just a matter of
I'm telling you Giles, you gotta set
up a blind taste test, prove once and
for all that generic amphibian
eyeballs are just as good.
I don't know. If you ask me, the
newt name still means something.
Buffy. Are you ready to train?
Giles indicates the back of the shop with a nod of his head.
Shall we then?
We shall then.
They head to the back of the shop.
ANGLE ON WILLOW AND TARA as Willow takes a seat among the silken pillows.
I just keep thinking how cool it
would be if we could get a real
psychic to set up here and read
fortunes and stuff.
You should do it.
Not me. But I'd love to just watch
and learn from someone who's really
You're good, I'll prove it! Here...
Willow puts out her hand.
Tara takes Willow's hand, holds it gently, traces a line on her palm.
What do you see?
Tara smiles at it lovingly and they stay like that... just holding hands.
ANGLE ON GILES, BUFFY, AND XANDER at the far end of the shop. Giles unlocks the door to the back room and steps back to let Buffy in first.
INT. TRAINING ROOM - CONTINUOUS - DAY
Buffy enters. But before she can see anything, she's suddenly blindsided, TACKLED to the ground by an unseen assailant. She hits the ground, looks over...
Just keepin' you on your toes.
She sits up, gives Riley a bewildered smile.
Or off them as it were. What got
into... oh my God, look at this place.
And we do. As we, and Buffy, see the TRAINING ROOM for the first time in its full glory. She stands, an amazed expression on her face, and starts to look around. Riley stands by her side.
It's set up with all sorts of training apparatuses: gymnastics equipment; various bulls-eye targets; straw dummies; exotic weaponry etc.
There are some things Buffy can't begin to fathom: strange symbols have been painted on the walls.
Buffy takes it all in, her eyes wide with delight. She turns to Giles and Xander.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
It's just a token. You needed a
proper space to train so...
I love it.
So c'mon, let's test this puppy out.
Think you can take me?
He feigns a few jabs at her chin. She smiles at him, nonplussed.
What's the matter,
scared of a little competition?
Buffy ignores Riley, examining instead one of the straw dummies.
This must have been so much work.
I'm the dummy-man.
I mean. I made the dummies. The
things you hit that don't hit back.
Those, I made.
They're great. It's all great.
You've earned it. Truly.
She gives a grateful look to Giles, Xander, and Riley.
Thanks guys, you're like a fairy
godmother, Santa Claus, and Q all
rolled into one.
Q from James Bond, not Star Trek.
I'm going go get changed.
As she exits, Buffy deftly LEG SWEEPS Riley, knocking him (out of frame) to the floor.
EXT. SPIKE'S CRYPT - NIGHT
The SOUND of heavy breathing. Someone or something lurks in the shrubbery around the crypt.
INT. SPIKE'S CRYPT - NIGHT
Pale blue light flickers on Spike's face. We hear MELODRAMATIC SOAP OPERA MUSIC. Spike shakes his head in anger.
Oh Pacey, you blind idiot! Can't you
see she doesn't love you?
PULLING BACK we see Spike is watching his telly.
A BANG! at the door. Spike stands quickly, guiltily turning off the TV. The door flies open and Harmony enters; her hair uncombed and her clothes unkempt. She slams the door shut, leans against it, panting.
Well well well. Lookie here.
Is it safe? Has Buffy gotten to you yet?
Her eyes sweep the crypt, paranoid, looking for Buffy.
I saw her patrolling just now. With
a stake! She won't give up 'til
she's killed me to death.
Spike moves closer, his eyes on her heaving chest.
Buffy's looking for you?
Of course. That's why I'm on the
lam. Didn't you hear? I'm totally
Is that right. I must have missed
There was a mem..?
Spike. Omigod, this is like a real
emergency. I need a hideout so bad.
You're my only hope. We're just
gonna have to rise above our petty
differences... Listen Spike, I'm
Desperate are you?
C'mon Spike, pretty please?
I'll do anything.
Anything will you?
Yeah, I said I'd do anything...
(suddenly getting it)
Oo-oh. You mean will I have sex with
you. Well, yeah!
He smiles at her, lasciviously. She flounces past, plopping into his chair while pulling a packet of cigarettes out of her purse. She puts a long, skinny, "girlie" cigarette between her lips and begins the arduous process of lighting it with a child-proof lighter.
Taken up smoking then?
I am a villain, Spike, hello?
She inhales dramatically and begins COUGHING hysterically.
I guess you are, at that. I mean,
with the Slayer on your tail and
everything. She's not the type to
give up, either. She'll hunt you
down day and night, until you're
too tired and too hungry to run
any more and then...
He picks up a handful of dust off the floor of the crypt. He claps his hands together, making a cloud of dust.
Then that's you.
I think you're gonna hafta kill her.
I tried. It was all hard and stuff.
You do it.
Spike tries to be patient.
I would love to. But I can't.
Oh right. Guess it has to be me
after all. Can you help with the
Yeah. I s'pose I could do that.
INT. RILEY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Riley and Buffy lie side by side beneath the rumpled sheets of his bed. They're both sweaty and flushed. Buffy turns on her side to face Riley, her expression beatific. (NOTE: They lie close, but she does not have her head on his chest.)
That was relaxing...
PULL BACK TO REVEAL: The bed is at an odd angle having moved several feet away from the wall.
Buffy closes her eyes and lets out a contented sigh. Riley kisses her ear, whispering into it:
You want to relax some more?
Buffy's eyes open.
Again?! Right away again?
Riley kisses her neck.
Maybe you're too tired.
I have the endurance of ten men.
Let's make it women, okay?
Just for the imagery?
Whatever. Takes a lot to wear me out.
She turns into his arms.
Oh, I love a challenge.
INT. BUFFY'S KITCHEN - MORNING (DAY 3)
Dawn kneels on a kitchen chair pouring sugar-coated cereal into four different bowls. Joyce is at the stove preparing an omelet.
Well, wouldn't you? Every kid tries
to make the substitute cry. It's
like a rite of passage.
I certainly would not. Being a
substitute is an extremely hard job and...
(she notices what Dawn is doing)
Honestly Dawn, just how many bowls of
cereal are you planning on eating?
Oh, these aren't for eating. I had
to get the extra out of the way so
She digs, arm deep into the cereal box and excavates a tiny prize. Holding it up proudly:
(sitting with a thump)
Anyway, I want eggs.
You still want the cereal prize but
you don't want the cereal. You are
growing up. Alrighty, one half-
omelet coming up.
She divvies the omelet onto two plates and carries them towards the table.
With ketchup if you please.
As Joyce approaches the table, she stumbles, her eyelids fluttering as if she got something in her eye. She shakes her head as if to clear it, bewildered for a moment. She looks at Dawn, truly confused:
What is the - Who are you?
And then her body goes limp, her arms falling to her sides, sending the plates to the floor with a SHATTER. Her eyes roll into the back of her head and she COLLAPSES to the floor. Her body crumpled, her mouth slack.
Dawn is panicking, about to hyperventilate. She grabs for the kitchen phone, jabbing at the buttons.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - DAY
Buffy and Riley charge down the corridor. Through the crowd, Buffy spots Dawn. She runs to her and embraces her tightly. Dawn wears a stethoscope around her neck.
How are you? How is Mom?
And your mom's doing just fine.
That from an affable young intern wearing scrubs and a warm smile.
This is Ben. He gave me his
(to Dawn; mock-stern)
Lent you his stethoscope.
(extending his hand)
Buffy, right? I'm Ben. I'm an
intern here. I've had the pleasure
of hanging out with the renowned
Dr.Dawn here while your mom's
been being tested.
So what's going on? What happened to
Joyce, to Mrs. Summers?
She's doing okay now. The doctors
aren't sure exactly what caused the
collapse. It could have been just a
dizzy spell, low blood sugar, that
sort of thing.
But it's nothing - Big, it's not
As the three adults talk, Dawn scoots between them listening to their hearts with the stethoscope. She listens to Ben's heart which we HEAR instead of the following conversation.
SFX: THE SOUND OF BEN'S NORMAL HEARTBEAT.
So your mom doesn't have any history
No, I don't think so. She's usually
Dawn removes the stethoscope and scoots over to Buffy. Placing it to her chest:
SFX: THE SOUND OF BUFFY'S NORMAL HEARTBEAT
I think they'll be running tests for
a few more hours and they'll probably
want her to come back in for some
follow-up tests in a couple weeks but
it doesn't seem like any thing too
Again 'Dr. Dawn' removes the stethoscope.
Oh thank God.
I was really freaking out.
I think you should be able to take
her home in a little bit.
Well that's definitely good news.
And scoots over to her next patient, Riley. She puts the stethoscope to his chest:
SFX: THE FRANTIC INHUMAN BEATING OF RILEY'S RACING HEART
Off Dawn's look of consternation we:
INT. HOSPITAL EXAMINING ROOM - DAY
Riley sits on the examining table pulling on his t-shirt. Buffy stands by his side, tired, worried. Two doctors stand at the door preparing to leave him.
I know I'm repeating myself here,
but I don't know how else to convince
you. I have never in my thirty-plus
years in medicine let a patient with
tachycardia this severe leave a hospital---
You said you couldn't keep me.
The doctor runs her hand through her greying hair, distressed. Riley slips on his shirt and begins to button it.
Legally, no, I can't force you to do
a thing. But with that pulse,believe
me I'd get on my knees and beg you
if I thought I could change your mind.
You can't. I'm going home.
And your friend here can't convince--
All right then. But you're leaving
against my recommendation.
The doctors exit. Riley slips off the exam table and starts tucking in his shirt.
What is going on? Riley, what are
you doing? What if you have a heart
He puts his hands on her shoulders, commandingly.
Listen to me. Calm down.
Me calm down? I'm not the one with
a pulse of 150.
My heart's different than yours
Buffy. It works differently now.
But it's okay.
Riley, you're still a human, you
could still have a heart attack--
I'm a human who was used as a lab rat
The door opens cutting him off. Joyce enters with Dawn.
Buffy goes to her mom and hugs her.
How are you?
Embarrassed mostly. I'm sorry for
putting you through all this. But no
more tests, so you can take this pin
Riley's at the door, quick as a wink, holding it open for Joyce to exit.
Let's get out of here.
INT. BUFFY'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Buffy, Willow, and Dawn all attend to Joyce as she lies on the couch. She's got a blanket over her, a bowl of soup next to her and enough pillows to feed an army that eats pillows tucked under her head.
What about the crossword? Some say
feed a cold, I say puzzle it.
No thanks, Willow.
I like chicken fingers with mustard
when I'm sick.
I know you do, sweetie. I can make
us some later.
No. Uh-uh. You stay here on the
I feel silly lying here like a lump.
You could make a game out of it. A
very quiet game... about being a lump.
But I feel fine. Honestly, I'm more
concerned about Riley than I am about me.
Mom, you shouldn't even be thinking
about that. He's not worried, so I
don't think we should be.
INT. BUFFY'S ROOM - DAY
Willow lies on Buffy's bed. Buffy paces. Dawn lies sprawled across the carpet, so Buffy has to step over her each time she paces.
I don't get what he's thinking. Why
isn't he worried?
Maybe he knows his body can handle
it. He is in really good shape.
Nobody's body can handle a heart attack.
I know. I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm
trying too hard to make it okay.
I just keep coming back to the Initiative.
It does have that icky government
feel to it.
Did you know that one time the CIA
tried to kill Fidel Castro with
I have to do something. I just have
no idea how.
Another time, the CIA--
Buffy looks at her impatiently.
Tried to make Castro go crazy by
putting itching powder in his beard.
(off Buffy's look)
What? It's about the government.
Call the Initiative. If they know
what's wrong with him, they have to help.
Yeah but call them how? A: the
Initiative doesn't exist anymore and
secondly, they never claimed to exist
in the first place.
It's so unfair! It's like, Big
Brother can spy on you all the time,
but when you actually have something
to say, no one will listen.
Sounds more like big sister.
There's got to be a way.
What am I supposed to do, take a tour
of the White House and pretend to get
lost, looking for some door with a
sign reading 'Secret Government
Monster Hunters, on it?
I don't see why, if they're really
spying on you all the time, you don't
just say something when you know
they'll hear you. Like sometimes I
write fake things in my diary in case--
Dawn notices Buffy is staring at her and SHUTS HER MOUTH.
I gotta go. I'll see ya later.
As Buffy splits, Dawn turns to Willow.
What'd I say?
INT. RILEY'S APARTMENT - DAY
Buffy enters carefully. The apartment is empty. She picks up the phone and puts it to her ear.
SFX: AN ODD CLICKING SOUND -- THE PHONE IS TAPPED.
Buffy doesn't dial a number but speaks into the phone.
Riley's in trouble. He needs help.
She hangs up the phone. Troubled.
EXT. BASKETBALL COURT - DAY
Riley and three other men are playing an all-out game of two on two. Riley steals, driving up to the basket hard, slamming it home.
Then he sees something. There, on the other side of the fence, stand GRAHAM and two other agents. Graham nods at Riley.
(to the players)
He walks through the gate to Graham and the agents.
Riley. Can we talk? This is Agent
Goodman, Agent Brown.
The agents nod at Riley. He ignores them.
What's going on, man? We gotta get
this taken care of. We gotta get you
into an operating room.
Very convincing. Makes me completely
want to put myself under government
control. Please take me to where you
can make me unconscious and naked.
You think I'd pull something on you?
You're still in. I'm out. I don't
know what orders you're following.
Come on. You know Walsh pumped all
those chemicals and crap into us.
You got more than anyone. She messed
us up bad.
And now the government is knocking
themselves out to kiss it and make it better.
Riley. I'm telling you, you need
help. I'm not saying it to trick you--
Look, maybe you even believe it--
I know it. I saw guys go through
this. Remember Mason? Finally all
patched up after the fight, then he
got it too. He-- I'm sorry, but he's
gone and it got pretty ugly. You
don't want this.
It seems to be sinking in.
And you're sure you got the fix for it?
Yeah. We got a guy, a doctor. He's
going to take care of you and we're
going to him now.
Riley doesn't respond. But he nods several times, thinking. As the two agents step in closer to Riley...
I'm not giving you a choice.
Riley nods again, seemingly resigned.
I guess you're not.
In a flash, he THROWS A PUNCH at Graham, catching him square in the jaw. A shocked Graham stumbles back.
Agents Goodman and Brown TACKLE Riley, trying to subdue him. But Riley's much stronger than they are. He knocks them away and takes off. Sprinting onto the street and out of sight.
INT. COMMONS - DAY
Graham, looking a little beat-up from his Riley-encounter, talks to an angry Buffy.
So you screwed up and he's gone and
when are you even gonna tell me
what's wrong with him?
I'm not permitted to say...
Hyper-adrenal overload and a bunch of
stuff that sounds even worse than
that and it all means he's way
stronger than he ought to be and
feeling no pain. His heart can't
take it. We've been at him for weeks about it.
There's a specialist waiting at
Sunnydale General, fourth floor,
neurology. Get Riley there, 'cause
if you don't...
I'll find him.
I'll go tell the doc there's a hold up.
She starts to take off.
She turns back to face him.
If you tell me to hurry I'm going to
kick your ass.
Graham shuts his mouth, burnt. He just waves.
INT. THE MAGIC BOX - EVENING
Buffy's giving the lowdown to Giles, Willow, Xander, Anya and Tara.
Could he simply have gone back to his apartment?
No, not in his apartment; not at the
library; not at the gym. He's gone
somewhere where he doesn't want to be found.
Basically he's gone AWOL.
Xander struggles with what he learned in Episode 3: Riley doesn't think Buffy loves him.
Maybe he just needs some time alone.
Like I had this friend once who
really liked this girl and he got
worried that maybe she didn't like
him back and maybe that made him act
like a total jerk and maybe Riley
reminds me of this friend.
What are you talking about?
Then again, maybe not. Maybe he just
Well, here's a hot tip then: You
want attention, be there so people
can give it to you.
I care about you Xander.
Don't be insecure.
Thanks, I won't.
'Cause I also have this 'friend' and
I have it on good authority that she
really likes that guy, your 'friend'.
And by the by, my 'friend'--
Buffy's about to lose it.
You guys! That's enough. Riley's in
real danger here. Anya, Xander, I
want you guys to check the docks.
Tara and I can scope out the burnt
out school. He hid there before,
maybe it feels homey or something.
Homey. You know what else might be
homey in a sort of dank, unpleasant,
mostly evil way? The Initiative
caves. But I don't know them too well...
We do have an associate who knows
those caves like the back of his
Oh, I so don't want to deal with
Spike right now. Guy's really
starting to bug me in that special,
"I'd like to shove something wooden
through his heart" kind of way.
He does seem a little extra twitchy
lately. I think the not-killing is
getting to him.
And hanging out in that moldy crypt
all day, you just know he's doing
INT. SPIKE'S CRYPT - NIGHT
Spike and Harmony sit opposite each other.
Okay, is it bigger than a bread box?
No... Four left.
So it's smaller than a bread box?
Harmony claps with excitement.
No-o! Only three.
Harmony. Is it a sodding bread box?
Yes! Omigod, someone's blondey
bear's a twenty questions genius!
There's a BANG at the door; someone's kicking the door open. Harmony goes paler.
She's found me.
She leaps into an open coffin, which Spike sits atop, crossing his legs just as Buffy enters the crypt.
I've got a proposition for you.
Buffy sees the beat-up "BUFFY MANNEQUIN" in the corner, partly hidden behind something. She can't quite figure out what it is. She starts to look closer but Spike steps into her line of sight.
Funny, 'cause I've got a proposition
for you. What about knocking? It
seems only fair considering we vamps
can't enter your flat without an
invite that you could at least-- say,
look at those pretty pieces of paper.
Spike refers to the FAN OF MONEY Buffy has spread before his eyes.
Riley's sick with some Initiative
thing and he's gone missing. I think
he might be in the caves. If you
find him and take him to the fourth
floor of the hospital, you get the money.
Oh dear, the enormous hall monitor is
sick? Tell me, is he going to die?
Buffy SLAPS Spike hard across the face.
He's not the only one who can die, Spike.
Hey, I'm just saying, if this is
really important to you, then I think
I ought to get half now.
Buffy stares him down. A look of pure disgust on her face.
SHE RIPS THE BILLS IN HALF. Then hands him a set of halves. She exits.
Spike stuffs the money in his pocket. Stares forward, thinking. The coffin CREAKS OPEN and Harmony pokes her head out.
So? What'd she say about me?
INT. FOURTH FLOOR HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - NIGHT
We follow Graham as he nods at the armed Guard standing outside the neurological surgery room and enters.
INT. NEUROLOGICAL SURGERY ROOM - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT
Dr. Overheiser, a small and nervous older man, glances up from his fastidiously arranged surgical tools.
Nothing. But don't worry; they've
gotta be here any minute now.
The doctor nods, expressionless. Graham notices the lack of joy, gets worried.
That's soon enough, right? I mean,
if we bring him in now?
I'll be honest. I'm not sure it's
soon enough if you brought him in yesterday.
Graham is still absorbing that choice bit of info when there's a BANG outside the door. Graham moves to open it.
Graham opens the door. We see a brief FLASH of the Guard's face, but something's not right. Behind him is Harmony, holding up the limp guard by his scalp.
Quickly, she thrusts the Guard's unconscious skull at Graham. Their heads come together with a horrible CRACK and the bodies CLATTER to the ground.
Harmony enters with Spike close behind. They strut over the fallen bodies Natural Born Killers-style
He tosses her a NASTY-LOOKING CROSSBOW which she points at the terrified Doctor's face. She caresses his cheek with the drawn arrow.
Spike gestures towards the open door.
You got yourself a new patient, Doc.
EXT. COLLEGE MEDICAL BUILDING - NIGHT
INT. OPERATING THEATRE VIEWING AREA - NIGHT - CONT.
Spike, Dr. Overheiser and Harmony (her crossbow aimed at the doctor) enter at the back of the lecture hall-like classroom and make their way down the steps toward the operating area. The Doctor is shaking with nervousness.
Look, you don't understand. This is
a complicated neurological procedure.
And I-I've never performed it before.
Spike throws open the door and they enter...
INT. OPERATING THEATER - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT
There's an operating table in the center of the room. Nearby is a steel, rolling tray table with numerous surgical instruments lying on it. Spike gleefully hops up on the table and eyes the Doctor, who hangs back.
Little performance anxiety, eh?
Butterflies in the old belly?
(looks at Harmony)
Harm, do us a favor. Shoot the nasty
butterflies for the good doctor.
Harmony aims the crossbow at the Doctor's gut. The Doctor moves in to the operating table.
There you go, Doc. Not so
complicated. Just do whatever those
Initiative lab monkeys did, only backwards.
But this is a medical school, not a
proper operating facility.
And these instruments--
Spike picks up a scalpel, holds it up near the Doctor's throat to examine it.
They look pointy enough.
(tossing it back onto the tray)
Spike slides himself up the operating table and lies back.
You're not listening. That chip is
deeply imbedded in your cerebral
cortex. Removing it could leave you
Spike props himself up on his elbows and glares at him.
Not gonna happen, mate. See, I've
got faith in your survival instinct.
The Doctor looks at Harmony, now sitting up on a counter, the crossbow still aimed directly at him.
Yeah, you'll have me up and killing
before the night's over.
The doctor gives Spike a nervous look.
Don't worry, Doc. You do me right,
and nothing bad'll happen to y--
Just then, an ARROW WHIZZES by the Doctor's head, missing him by inches, and lodges in the wall behind him. Spike and the terrified Doc turn to look at...
HARMONY, sitting on the counter, looking chagrined.
Oops. String was slippy.
ON SPIKE, rolling his eyes.
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH RUINS - NIGHT
Willow and Tara walk through the rubble, searching. They're illuminated by soft blue moonlight streaming in through the large empty spaces where the ceiling used to be.
This place creeps me out.
(you think it's bad now... )
Should've been here when it was a school.
They turn into a much darker hallway, getting even pitchier ahead of them.
Piles of it. We should've brought a flashlight.
Oo. I know. Better to light a
candle than curse the damn darkness.
She rummages through her purse, pulls out a vial of something.
A little spell... "Fiat Lux."
Willow throws the vial to the floor, breaking it. SUDDENLY THE HALLWAY IS BRIGHTLY LIT from above. We can't see the light source, but it's bright.
Riley! Come on out!
They move now, down the bright hallway, glancing into rubbled rooms on either side.
How'd you do that? With the light?
You know. You taught me.
I taught you teeny Tinkerbell light.
Oh yeah, I tinkered with the
Tinkerbell. It was easy. And isn't
this better than using a flashlight
like some kind of doofus?
INT. INITIATIVE CAVES - NIGHT
A FLASHLIGHT BEAM rakes across the wall. Then Buffy moves into frame.
The name echoes throughout the dark tunnel.
Riley, answer me!
Then, the sound of pebbles and dirt hitting the cave floor. She moves ahead and turns a corner to find-
RILEY, his back to us, facing the cave wall.
He slowly turns to look at her. He's damp with sweat and breathing hard. Frustrated, he balls up his fist, turns and punches the wall. Pebbles and debris spill down.
You know this doesn't even hurt.
She moves to him and sees his fist.
Your hand is bleeding.
Don't feel a thing.
He pulls back his fist again to strike the wall, but Buffy catches it. Stops him. They look at each other, each clearly hurting, upset.
This stops now. I'm getting you to a doctor.
The one from the government you mean?
Like the ones who did this to me in
the first place?
He's the only one who understands
what's wrong with you. He's the only
one who can help you.
What's wrong with me? I'm more
powerful than I've ever been, Buffy.
Most people would kill to feel this way.
But the feeling's going to kill you.
Your body wasn't built for this kind
I can handle it. This is my deal,
Buffy. Just back off.
Buffy, stung, does just that.
What is this? What's happening to you?
Riley can't even look at her. Manages.
I go back, let the government get
whimsical with my innards again, they
could do anything they...
best case scenario, they turn me into
Joe Normal. Just another guy.
And that's not enough for you?
It's not enough for you.
When did - why would you say that?
Come on. Your last boyfriend wasn't
exactly a civilian.
Buffy, appalled, shakes her head.
That's what this is about? You're
going to die over some macho pissing contest?
It's not about him. It's about us.
You're getting stronger every day,
more powerful... And I can't touch
you. Every day you're just a little
further out of my reach.
Now Buffy's hurt starts to spark to anger.
According to who? You want to touch
me? I'm right here. I'm not the one
A beat, then-
So you've got it all figured out.
I'm bailing because you're not in the
It's human nature-
Don't psyche 101 me! Not now. Not
after - after everything....
Nobody's ever known me the way you do,
Riley. Nobody. I've opened myself
up to you in a way that- God, you're
just sitting back thinking it doesn't
mean anything to me?
I never said that-
(more and more upset)
Well it obviously doesn't mean
anything to you! Do you think so
little of me-
No! Do you think I've spent the last
eight months with you because you've
got super powers? If that's what I
wanted I'd be dating Spike.
She is near tears now.
I need you. I need... to have you
with me, healthy and, and... but if
you want to throw everything away
because you don't trust me, then...
then I'm still gonna make you go to
A long beat as Riley takes this in. Then-
Take me to him.
Buffy looks up to him - clearly relieved, but still worried.
We have to hurry.
She starts to move past him - he pulls her to him, needing to wrap his arms around her. She resists a moment, then acquiesces, embracing him.
Loving you is the scariest thing I've
ever done, Buffy.
Buffy looks at him, not sure how to take this. There is tender concern on her face as she briefly touches his.
I don't know why.
We'd better go. The doctor said we
didn't have much time.
INT. OPERATING THEATER - NIGHT
CLOSE ON SPIKE, his eyes closed.
WIDEN to find Doctor Overheiser performing surgery on Spike's head behind a jury-rigged divider.
Harmony comes over, crossbow by her side, next to the Dr..
I read in a magazine that some women
think a man's real sex organ is his brain.
(peering inside his cranium)
Uch. No contest. I mean, look at
it. It's so pink and wriggly
looking. Can I touch it?
ON SPIKE, his eyes snap open.
Omigod! You're awake?
Wow. Spikey! How does it feel?
Like someone's cutting into my brain
with a knife, you silly bint!
You know what it means that he can't
hurt any living thing? It means he
can't even pick flowers.
What? Yes, I can.
Please be quiet.
She keeps mum. Watching, and then she points:
Is it supposed to be doing that?
Please! For God's sake, please be quiet.
Listen, buster, I don't see a
crossbow in your hands, okay?
Harmony, if your incessant prattling
bollixes up this operation, I'm going
to personally yank out your pink and
Harmony pouts. The Doctor glances up at her, unnerved.
What are you looking at?
The doctor turns his attention back to Spike's brain.
INT. NEUROLOGICAL SURGERY ROOM - NIGHT
Buffy and a flushed, sweaty Riley enter. The door's ajar and the armed Guard lies sprawled on the floor still unconscious.
Buffy kneels, checking that the Guard's still alive, when she hears a GROAN from across the room. She turns...
GRAHAM, struggling to consciousness, tries to push himself up. Riley and Buffy go to him.
He holds two fingers in front of Graham, checking for a concussion.
How many fingers?
Graham shakes his head, clearing it.
Buffy and Riley share a look: Uh-oh, indeed.
Hostile seventeen. And a blonde girl...
Spike and Harmony. Together again.
As she and Riley help Graham to his feet, Graham looks around.
Where's Dr. Overheiser?
They must've taken him. What do they-
Spike's chip. They're going to force
the doctor to remove the chip in his--
ON RILEY - Staggering, he leans onto the examining table, as he staves off some spasm of pain, his breathing quick and shallow.
Buffy moves to him, but he holds up his hand.
I'm okay... okay.
He consciously inhales deeply, slowing his breathing.
ON BUFFY as Graham leans into her and whispers.
We're running out of time. We don't
find the medic soon, he's not gonna
Buffy shoots him a sharp, desperate look, then thinks:
Okay... Brain surgery on Spike,
they'll need a medical facility,
equipment, for that, right?
No. They wouldn't do it here. Too
risky. We should split up. Graham,
get on the pipe or the horn or
whatever you guys get on and check
out local doctor's offices, animal hospitals...
Graham nods, heads out, then stops and turns when he hears:
Graham. About before. Sorry.
Forget it. Apologize later. If
you're not dead.
He exits. Buffy joins Riley.
You're not going to die.
Riley smiles at her, weakly.
Bet you say that to all the boys.
She takes his arm and they start out.
Not all. I know one peroxide pest
whose number's up.
When I get my hands on Spike, I'm
going to rip his head off. I'm
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. OPERATING THEATER - NIGHT
TIGHT ON Spike's face:
...bathe in the Slayer's blood. I'm
gonna dive into it, swim in it, do
the bloody backstroke.
WIDEN to see the Doctor operating meticulously. Next to him, Harmony, cigarette in hand, leans over Spike's brain, oblivious to the smoke she's blowing into it.
I see it, Spikey! I can see the
chip. It's nestled in there like a
pretty little Easter egg with your
brain all around it like that green
plastic grassy stuff, only this is
more of a beige--
The doctor straightens and looks at Harmony.
Would you please put out that
cigarette? It's really not allowed.
Oh yeah, sez who?
The Dr. points to a sign posted on the wall behind him: a cigarette icon encircled and slashed through with red.
Upon seeing it, Harmony reacts immediately.
Oh God, sorry! Didn't see the sign.
She crosses the room and extinguishes her cigarette.
The chip's out. I didn't think I
could... but it just... It's out.
The doctor drops something small and metallic-sounding into a surgical dish of some kind.
Yay! Yay for Spike!
She claps her hands in glee.
PUSH IN on Spike.
Right, then. Stitch me up, Doc. Got
places to go. And slayers to kill.
INT. OPERATING THEATER - NIGHT
Spike sits on the operating table, his legs extended, his torso ram-rod straight, his head bowed as if in prayer.
His eyes are closed; his arms are limp as a puppet's.
The Doctor is stitching up the back of Spike's scalp with a needle and thread. Harmony watches.
Spike GROWLS, not going into full vamp face, but revealing his sharp and dangerous FANGS. He opens one eye and peeks at the doctor:
Listen to me, my stomach's growling,
I'm so starved. I'm afraid I'm going
to have to have me a little snack.
DR. OVERHEISER blanches, he knows this means him. The Doctor appeals to Harmony with his eyes; she smiles cutely and gives him a finger waggling wave.
(off the Dr.'s look)
Oh, don't worry...
I won't fill up on the bread, I'll
still have plenty of room for the
Just then, the door at the back of the lecture hall SMASHES OPEN revealing Buffy and Riley.
ANGLE ON BUFFY AND RILEY as they register what they've found.
THE FOURSOME FACES OFF: sizing each other up. Harmony's got her crossbow; Riley his hyper-strength and off the charts pain threshold; Buffy her Buffy-ness; and Spike is no longer crippled by his chip.
The tension's high: who will make the first move?
Suit up, Harm.
They morph into their VAMP FACES. GROWLING menacingly.
DR. OVERHEISER tries to slink off. Without taking her eyes off Spike, Buffy reaches out and grabs the Doctor's arm. She FLINGS HIM into a corner.
Stay here. We're going to need you.
THE DOCTOR cowers in the corner, nodding meekly.
THE STANDOFF CONTINUES.
Buffy. I swear I was just thinking
of you. I wanted to tell you the
great news. My head's all clear now.
No more bug-zapper in my noggin.
That means I get to kill you.
You get to try...
Spaghetti Western-style we see CLOSE UPS as the tension builds:
SPIKE, leering and confident.
BUFFY, her eyes quick and wary, assessing the situation.
RILEY, a twitch in his eye, his whole body tense, veins protruding from his biceps.
HARMONY, her face a caricature of Spike's, preposterously wicked, her hand on the crossbow trigger.
SUDDENLY, Harmony's finger slips. An arrow is released and imbeds itself in Riley's leg. He doesn't flinch, immune to the pain.
Yet the gauntlet has been thrown: Riley SPRINGS on Harmony and begins to fight her in HAND TO HAND COMBAT.
He's much stronger than her but his condition is taking its toll: His face drips with sweat and each punch he throws exhausts him further.
Riley, be careful. Your heart!
SPIKE AND BUFFY circle each other warily; two fighters waiting for the moment to attack. Their faces dark with hate.
Is he your sidekick now? That's too
cute. You know, you should think
about getting one of those motorbikes
with the little sidecars. Could be precious.
Look at 'im go.
For a split-second, Spike is distracted by Riley.
BUFFY takes advantage, giving Spike a taste of her LEFT HOOK and a quick RIGHT UPPERCUT.
He STAGGERS BACK, chuckling, unfazed. He LEAPS onto the operating table and looms above her, SNARLING.
At long last.
And then he SPRINGS, falling on Buffy, pinning her down, about to plunge his fangs into her sweet neck when....
in agony, Spike clutches at his head, ZAPPED big time by the still-in-place chip. Buffy DECKS him with a couple of quick PUNCHES, sending him into the corner with the Doctor.
ANGLE ON DR. OVERHEISER as he lets a weak smile cross his lips.
ANGLE ON RILEY AND HARMONY still going at it. Riley is wet with sweat and the arrow remains imbedded in his leg.
Riley's about to take a swing at Harmony when suddenly, he STAGGERS BACK as if hit by an invisible blow.
HE COLLAPSES. Harmony looks at her fist and then at Riley: did she do that?
She goes to him where he lies on the floor, his eyes unseeing, his shirt drenched through with sweat, his body bleeding and bruised, the arrow sticking out of his leg. His chest heaves with his rapid breathing.
ANGLE ON DR. OVERHEISER AND SPIKE
Spike goes to the receptacle where the chip was supposedly placed. He tips the contents into his hand.
Told you I couldn't take it out.
ANGLE ON BUFFY by Riley's side. Feeling his pulse with her fingers.
Doctor! We need you now!
The Doctor sees what has happened and immediately leaves Spike.
He helps Buffy lift Riley onto the operating table. With the others distracted, Spike and Harmony make their get-away.
EXT. CEMETERY - NIGHT
Harmony and Spike run through the gravestones towards home. Spike's face is distorted by anger.
Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! Everywhere I
turn she's there, that... that nasty
little face, that bouncing shampoo-
commercial hair. The whole sodding
holier than thou attitude...
Aren't we kinda unholy by defin--
She follows me, you know. Tracks me
down. I'm her pet project... drive
Spike round the bend. Makes every
day a fresh bout of torture.
Spike stops running, white with anger. He WRENCHES a gravestone from the earth.
Harmony stops, turns to face Spike as he HURLS the gravestone in her direction. it. SHATTERS against a tomb.
Spike comes towards her with his eyes wild.
You don't understand! I can't get
rid of her; she's everywhere. She's
haunting me, Harmony!
He GRABS Harmony's shoulders, perhaps about to do some violence. But when he speaks, it's not wild, it's chillingly soft and rational:
This has got to end.
Off Spike's cold and composed face we:
INT. OPERATING THEATER - DAWN (DAY 4)
The operation has just ended. Buffy watches by Graham's side as the Doctor finishes.
ANGLE ON Riley as the Doctor tapes the final bandages.
Riley's bare torso is bandaged, as is his leg where the arrow gouged him. He looks exhausted, pale with dark circles under his eyes. But there's a calm look in his eye. The operation has been a success.
The doctor gestures with his head for Buffy to come over.
Buffy, he wants you.
There. All patched up.
Riley swings his legs around and sits up. Moving gingerly, wincing but not complaining. Buffy goes to him. They look at each other awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Then Buffy moves closer - puts a tentative hand to his chest.
How's it going in there?
Good. Back to normal.
Buffy moves her ear to his chest, listens. Smiles a little.
Riley touches her head, holds her to him. They stay like that for a long moment. Buffy closing her eyes, taking comfort in the reassuring sound of his steady heartbeat. Finally, she pulls back - but continues to hold his hand.
And see? I'm still touchable.
Give me a week or so to heal and I'll
take full advantage of that fact.
They smile, but there's a twinge of sadness in it.
Are you going to be okay? Because I
should really go check on my mom.
Go. I'll be fine.
They kiss tenderly. Then-
I'll talk to you later.
And she's gone. Hold on Riley, watching her.
INT. COLLEGE MEDICAL BUILDING HALLWAY - DAWN
Riley and Graham make their way slowly down the long corridor. Graham SLAPS Riley on the back, not too hard, but hard enough to make Riley, in his weakened condition, grimace.
It hurts, huh?
Pain's your friend. Pain tells you
Well, then I am very alive. And my
good buddy pain should feel free to
stop reminding me any ol' time now.
You had me scared. It's a good thing
Buffy found you when she did, man,
'cause you were just about to
detonate big time. I gotta say,
she's pretty impressive.
Riley smiles proudly. Nods.
You know, she really is.
But you realize you don't belong
here, right? This town. I mean,
you're nothing here.
Hey... what are you saying?
Come on. You know it's true.
There's nothing for you here.
Right. Okay. There's "her". You
used to have a mission, now you're
what? The mission's boyfriend? The
Riley can't hold his gaze anymore, looks away.
You belong with us.
INT. SPIKE'S CRYPT - EARLY MORNING
Spike sleeps alone. A BANG at the door. Spike's eyes open. He barely has time to stand up before the door opens. Buffy enters, looking angry and dangerous.
Shoulda known it's you. Been nearly
Would've been less if I wasn't busy
cleaning up your mess.
My mess? I just borrowed the doc.
The mess was yours, Slayer. Yours
and the boy's.
Buffy strides towards him purposeful, deadly. She pulls out a stake.
I'm done. You're a killer and I
should've done this years ago.
You know what? Do it. Bloody just do it.
End my torment -- seeing you every
day, everywhere I go, every time I
turn around. Take me out of a world
that's got you in it.
Ripping open his shirt, he bares his chest to her. She raises her stake to strike, then hesitates. They lock eyes.
Then suddenly, Spike grabs Buffy and plants a KISS on her. Her stake clatters to the floor. She pushes him off, takes a step back; her face registering pure shock. Her hand goes to her mouth. Then her tongue licks her lips lightly.
And then she grabs his head, pulls his face towards hers, kissing him back, passionately now, pressing her body against his.
He pulls her head back ROUGHLY, thrusting her neck forward and kisses it. She MOANS softly.
I want you, Spike.
He presses his body against hers, running his hands down her back. She moans softly.
She CLAWS at his bare chest, scratching him with her nails.
And then she PUSHES him hard, knocking him to the ground. She straddles him, GRINDING against him. She supports herself on her arms, brushing his face with her hair, teasing him.
Spike pulls her arms out from under her, so that she falls on his chest. He rolls her over, so that now he's on top.
Oh Buffy. Buffy I love you. God I
love you so much...
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. SPIKE'S CRYPT - EARLY MORNING
Spike BOLTS up in bed.
Next to him lies a sleeping Harmony. Spike's eyes are wide with terror as he realizes that he's in love with Buffy. He stares ahead, sick with the knowledge. He moans in utter torment:
God, no. Please, no.