Written by: Jane Epson Directed by: James A. Contner
Transcribed by: Jillian Tatterton <email@example.com>
Visit the site http://altern.org/buffyiv for more season four transcripts.
~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer ~~~~~~~~~~
I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network.
This episode was originally broadcast on October 19, 1999.
This transcript is merely for those that do not have access to Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the TV. It is not to infringe on any copyrighted material, merely to spread and promote BTVS. Feel free to distribute this, so long as there are no modifications made.
Cut to the Bronze. Oz is onstage with Dingoes Ate My Baby. (Four Star Mary) Pan over to where Buffy and Willow are sitting at a table chatting.
Willow : Hey look. Parker's here. You're not looking? He looks really cute in green.
Buffy : Teal. He's reflected in the mirror.
Round security mirror shows Parker shooting pool.
Willow : You know when you spend all week with a boy you are allowed to look at him directly.
Buffy : Not all week. We hung out. Moderately incessantly. But we're not here together tonight. You know, I don't want to crowd him.
Willow nods. Cut to Oz taking off his guitar and leaving the stage as the crowd applauses. He walks over to Buffy and Willow's table.
Oz : Hey. You guys ready to load up and go?
Willow : Almost. Buffy's looking at Parker. (Cut to round mirror again where Parker is still reflected playing pool.) Who it turns out has a reflection, so big plus there. Buffy's having lusty wrong feelings.
Buffy : No I'm not.
Willow : No, you're not.
Buffy : Oh, I so am.
Willow : No, uh, they're not wrong feelings cause you're free, you're both grown-ups. You are free, right?
Parker walks over and puts his hand on Buffy's shoulder.
Parker : Hi.
Buffy : Hi.
Parker : I just wanted to let you know I'm headed out. And it's not real safe here, so if you want to walk back to your dorm.
Buffy : How silly of me not to have planned ahead.
Willow smiles and Buffy gets her jacket and stands up to leave with Parker.
Willow : Bye.
Parker : See you guys.
Buffy and Parker have left leaving Willow and Oz at the table. Buffy turns back and smiles at Willow, who nods, happy for her friend. Cut to the back lot at the Bronze. Willow, Oz and another member of Dingoes Ate My Baby, Devon, are taking equipment out to Oz's van.
Devon : That was like the best set ever. We'll do great in LA. We're gonna have them glued to their seats.
Willow : Uh, Devon. Aren't they supposed to dance?
Oz : Well, we can glue them to the dance floor.
Oz and Devon head back into the Bronze leaving Willow outside.
Devon : I didn't mean with real glue. You got that right?
Willow is sliding a case into the van as she hears a voice, and turns.
Harmony : Willow, hi.
Willow : Harmony, hey. I haven't seen you since -
Harmony : Since graduation. Big snake huh?
Willow : Yeah. So, how was your summer vacation?
Harmony : Well I was gonna go to France. But I didn't. I was dying to see the stores.
Willow : Yeah, and the museums.
Harmony : Museums?
Willow : Yeah, I heard they have them. You know, just a rumor you pick up on the streets.
Harmony : You were always so funny Willow. You haven't changed a bit.
Willow : No, you neither.
Harmony : Oh, maybe a little.
Vamps out and grabs Willow and begins to feed.
Oz appears with a mic stand shoving her out of the way, then brandishes a cross.
Willow : Back off Harmony.
Harmony : Okay, fine. Hide behind your boyfriend. But I have a boyfriend too. And he's gonna be mad that you were mean to me.
She runs off and Willow and Oz relax. Cut to Parker and Buffy walking along the street.
Parker : Uh, hobbies. Interests. I feel like there's so much I don't know about you. What do you like to do?
Buffy : Mostly I hang out. And do ... stuff.
Parker : Yeah, I was into that for a while. Hey, what's that.
Buffy : What's what?
Parker pushes aside the collar of her jacket to reveal the scar from when Angel fed on her.
Parker : You have a scar.
Buffy : Yeah ... right ... angry puppy. So, I get to see any of your scars?
Parker : Oh, mine are all psychological.
Buffy : Please, those are the best kind.
Parker : Well my father died last year.
Buffy : Oh, God. Parker, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up, that stuff. Oh, bad, bad Buffy.
Parker : No, I'm okay to talk about it now. And I'm not doing to deep, get sympathy routine. I mean don't you just hate guys that are all 'I'm dark and brooding so give me love?'
Buffy : I don't think I've ever met that type.
They sit on a bench.
Parker : I just wanted to say that it was so sad cause there was well, a lot of stuff that he didn't finish. It make me think about, you know, living for now.
Buffy : I think about that sometimes. I sort of drowned a couple years ago. But I came back. Obviously. But I don't, I don't put stuff off anymore. Like you were saying.
Parker : That's great. I mean, everybody says they get it. 'Oh, man. Me too. Live for today.' But what they really what is a reason to goof off. Not study for finals.
Buffy : Also a valid life choice.
Parker : It's cool to find someone else who understands.
Buffy : So Parker Abrams. When you go to sleep tonight, what are you going to regret not doing today?
Parker : I'm going to regret ... being too nervous to ask you to go to the party at Wolfhouse tomorrow night. Do you want to go to the party -
Buffy : Yes.
Cut to Giles apartment where Xander is attempting to shelve Giles books.
Xander : I am not enjoying this.
Giles : Well shelve them correctly and we can finish.
Xander : I don't get your crazy system.
Giles : System? It's called the alphabet.
Giles grabs a book and puts it in it's correct place.
Xander : Huh. Would you look at that.
Anya walks in and Giles walks over to where she is.
Anya : You should lock your door.
Giles : Believe me, I'm kicking myself.
Gets a look from Anya. Xander walks over surprised.
Xander : Anya? Last time I saw you fleeing in terror. So how'd that work out for you?
Anya : I need to talk to Xander. (Gets a nod from Giles. She glares at him.) Go away. (She smiles at Xander and grabs his hand, leading him out the door.) Xander come with me.
Xander tosses a look back at Giles, then follows, shutting the door behind him.
Anya : Your mother said you were working here.
Xander : Yeah I need some money.
Anya : (Abruptly) Where is our relationship going?
Xander : Our what? Our who?
Anya : (Matter of faculty.) Relationship. What kind do we have. And what is it progressing toward?
Xander : I ... Uh ... We have a relationship?
Anya : Yeah. We went to the prom.
Xander : Yeah, On our one and only date. Second date called on account of snake, remember? And the whole, you used to be a man killing demon thing. Which to be fair, is as much my issue as it is yours.
Anya : I can't stop thinking about you. Sometimes in my dreams, you're all naked.
Steps towards him, eyes widening.
Xander : Really. You know if I'm in the checkout line at the Wal-Mart I've had the same one.
Anya : So I can assume a standing Friday night date and a mutual recognition as Prom night as our dating anniversary.
Xander : Anya. Slow down there. In fact, come to a screeching halt. See these things kind of have to develop on their own.
Anya : Okay. How?
Xander : I don't know. I just - happens.
Cut to Buffy and Parker standing at her door in the hall of the dorm.
Buffy : This is it. The door. Wood. (She knocks on it.) Maybe some kind of wood veneer.
Parker : It's nice.
He leans in to kiss her and their lips just touch as Oz and Willow come running down the hall. Buffy and Parker cease and desist due to the racket.
Oz : Hey. Hi, hi. Remember Harmony.
Willow : She's back from her summer vacation. And she's a little bit different.
Buffy : Different?
Willow : Paler.
Parker : (Noticing how Willow is holding her hand over where Harmony bit her.) Is your neck okay?
Buffy : Neck. Paler. The puppy. The angry puppy.
Oz : Yeah, we came to warn you about the - angry puppy.
Buffy : I um, should really take care of this now.
Parker : I'll pick you up tomorrow night for the party.
Buffy : I can't wait.
Willow : (In a small voice.) Get in now?
Buffy quickly unlocks the door leading Oz and Willow into the room. Cut to Oz cleaning Willow's wound carefully. Buffy walks over to them.
Buffy : Harmony. A vampire? She must be dying without a reflection.
Willow : (Sporting a neon green Band-Aid.) She just made me so mad. (Contorting her face to mock Harmony.) 'My boyfriends gonna beat you up.'
Buffy : 'My boyfriend.'
Willow : Well, if you believe her. She always lied about stuff like that. (More face contortion.) 'Oh, he goes to another school. You wouldn't know him.'
Oz : Well, Devon dated her for a while, but she was too flaky for him. Which, stop and marvel at the concept.
Oz and Willow laugh. Buffy shakes her head.
Buffy : Guy dating Harmony dead. Must be like, the most tolerant guy in the world.
Cut to underground crypt as Harmony descends into it. She walks over to a man wearing all black and protective head gear for drilling. She puts her hand on his back to draw his attention.
Harmony : Hi baby. I'm back.
The man clad in black removes the gear revealing Spike.
Descend from ground level back underground. Spike and another vampire are discussing papers strewn over a table.
Spike : It's definitely the crypt right. I'm not keen on tunneling into someone's septic tank.
Vampire : It's the crypt. The radar soundings are clear. The walls are thinnest here at the bottom. We'll have to tunnel underneath. More work but I'm sure -
Spike slams his head into the table then looks down at him.
Spike : You'd better be more than sure. Cause I'd hate to have to hurt you.
Vampire : I swear, I swear.
Harmony walks up and snuggles against Spike.
Harmony : How's my little Blondie bear?
Spike : Harm, does this look like a good time?
Harmony : Are you gonna kill Willow tonight? Cause I want you to say, 'This is for messing with my sweet girl.' And then, you know. (She mock bites into his shoulder making grossly noises.)
He throws the vampire aside then takes Harmony by the waist.
Spike : Nobody knows I'm here. And I'm not killing the slayer's best friend because that would tend to announce my presence. (Harmony gives him an annoyed, put out look.) And we're too bloody close.
Harmony : But you almost killed her last year. Suddenly it's a big deal.?
Spike : SOD OFF! Now go eat something, I've got work to do.
Spike and the vampire return to the table. She walks over to wear a boy is chained up and looks irritated.
Harmony : This one tastes funny. Take me out to eat.
Spike : He's perfectly fresh.
Harmony : I think I had a math class with him last year and I didn't like him that much then either.
Spike : Harm!
Harmony : I want to go to a party.
Spike slams his fists into the table, then heads over to where she is. He grabs her and
slams her into the wall. She smiles coyly at him.
Harmony : Oh. Right here baby. In front of Bernie.
Spike : You'd like that wouldn't you.
Harmony : Maybe I would. After a party.
Spike : Tonight. I'll take you somewhere nice.
Cut to the frat party. Bif Naked is performing on stage and people are dancing.
Buffy and Parker walk around.
Parker : Some party huh? Last day in Rome.
Buffy : Better. No old Romans.
Parker : You want to dance?
Buffy : No. Let's have a meaningful talk instead.
Harmony and Spike walk up with an out of it guy under their arms.
Buffy : Spike. (Pauses looking amused.) And Harmony.
Harmony : Buffy. Hi. What a cute outfit. Last year.
Spike : Well this is interesting. Sort of a double date.
Parker : Looks like your friend started the party a little early, huh?
Spike : So, let's have a look at the new boy.
Parker : (Holds out his hand.) Hi, I'm Parker.
Spike looks at it in fascination for a second, then Parker puts his hand down disconcerted.
Spike : He's got. What's the word? Vulnerability.
Buffy : And you with Harmony. What'd you do? Loose a bet?
Harmony looks irritated.
Harmony : Hey.
Spike : Actually, how we met. It's a funny story.
He throws the boy into Harmony and the others, then leaps over the couch taking off.
Buffy : Stay here.
She runs after him outside, then runs into him by some shrubbery. He back hand punches her in the face then gets into a defensive stance.
Buffy : What's the matter Spike? Dru dump you again.
She throws a punch, then another, both of which he blocks. Then she hits him dead on in the face.
Spike : Maybe I left her.
Buffy goes to attack, but Spike diverts her to the left.
Harmony : She left him for a fungus demon. That's all he talks about most days.
Spike strides up to her.
Spike : Harm! We are going. It isn't time yet.
Harmony : Yeah, but as soon as we have the gem of amara, you're gonna be sorr-
Spike : Argh!
He grabs her and takes off.
Harmony : What? Ow!
Buffy stands with her stake, then lowers it, thinking about what Harmony just let out.
Cut to Xander's room in his parents' basement. He's hanging up a mirrorball. There's a knock at the door.
Xander : Come in.
Anya enters slowly.
Xander : Anya. Hi again.
Anya : You're mother sent me around from the front of the house. She said to ask you to add fabric softener when the timer goes off. Can we talk some more?
Xander : Yeah I suppose. Would you like something? I have cran-apple?
Anya : Yeah, alright.
He heads over to the fridge and rummages around a bit.
Xander : You know it is customary to call before you show up. Not that -
During this Anya has removed her dress. As Xander realized what he's seeing cran-apple arcs out of the container, he stands there, gaping at her.
Cut to Buffy standing at a pay phone. As she talks we cut to Giles apartment where he is on the other end of the phone.
Buffy : Yeah, Spike with Harmony. If you can believe it. I couldn't figure out why he ran away but Harmony said something. Why they were here. They were looking for the gem of something... Amara.
Giles : The gem of amara. Are you sure?
Buffy : Yeah, what's up?
Buffy : Uh, oh, it's just, uh, it's not real.
He heads over to boxes where books are being stored.
Giles : It's uh, the vampire equivalent of the Holy Grail. The source of some enormous power, was convienetly vague. Oh, here it is, yes. There was a great deal of vampiric interest in locating it during the, uh, oh the 10th century. Questing vampires combed the earth, but no one ever found anything.. It was concluded that it never existed.
Cut to Buffy.
Buffy : Well, Spike seems to think it exists. And he's looking in Sunnydale.
Giles : Yes, well I'll research it as best I can. You've done all you can for tonight. Why don't you go to bed.
Buffy : Uh, huh. Sleepy. Yawn. Bye.
Cut the Harmony and Spike's bedroom. Spike is trying to read something, Harmony is laying on the bed in lingerie.
Harmony : Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?
Spike : No.
Harmony : Can I make him a vampire?
Spike : No. On second thought, yes. Go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids as well.
Harmony : Hey, I don't have a pulse. Cool. Hey, can we eat a doctor so we can get a stethoscope and hear my heart not beating?
Spike : Harm. Will you shut the hell up?!
He jumps to his feet, furious. Harmony just giggles.
Harmony : And if my hearts no beating, what are these blue veins for. I'm simply covered in these blue veins.
She runs her fingers over her cheats drawing attention to her cleavage.
Harmony : See.
Spike gets a look and climbs into bed with her. They nuzzle.
Spike : I've got an extra set of chains.
Harmony : Just because Dorkus went in for that -
Spike grabs her hair and pulls her head back.
Spike : Dru-scilla. Say her name.
Harmony : Dorkus.
Spike : Bite your tongue.
Harmony : Do it for me.
Steamy kissing. Cut to Xander and Anya. She's still naked, he's still stunned.
Anya : At point the matter is brought to a conclusion with both parties satisfied and able to move on with their separate lives and interests. To sum up, I think it's a workable plan.
Xander : So, the crux of this plan is -
Anya : Sexual intercourse. I've said it like a dozen times.
Xander : Uh, huh. Just working through a little hysterical deafness here.
Anya : I think it's the secret to getting you out of my mind. Putting you behind me. Behind me figuratively. I'm thinking face to face for the actual event itself.
Xander : Ah, right. It's just we hardly know each other. I mean I like you. And you have a certain directness that I admire. But sexual interc-- What you're talking about, well--and I'm actually turning into a woman as I say this--but it's about
expressing something. And accepting consequences.
Anya : Oh, I have condoms. Some are black.
Xander : That's... that's very considerate.
Anya : I like you. You're funny, and you're nicely shaped. And frankly, it's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not... interlock. Please remove your clothing now.
Xander : And the amazing thing... still more romantic than Faith.
Anya moves towards him and they kiss. The buzzer for the dryer goes off.
Anya : Fabric softener.
Cut to the party. Buffy finds Parker.
Buffy : Parker. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find you.
Parker : I was getting a little worried.
Buffy : I'm so sorry. It's just that - the English guy is an old friend. And he's not supposed to drink. And I saw him here in the land of the beer -
Parker : It's okay. You did a good thing for your friend. Did uh, you and he used to go out.
Short burst of hysterical laughter from Buffy. She stops abruptly.
Buffy : Um, no. No we really, really didn't.
Parker : Good. Now we have time to make up for. Think I could get a dance with the prettiest girl at the party.
Buffy : What am I supposed to do? Stand over here and watch?
They dance, in a rather close intense way. (Lucky ones by Bif Naked plays in the background. - On the BTVS Soundtrack!)
Parker : Well, I declared premed. But I hated it. So I switched to history.
Buffy : History? Fascinating dates and compelling faces.
Parker : But there something amazing about these huge events that when you dig down into them they're just about regular people trying to make choices. When you look back at it seems like people were swept up in events they couldn't control. But I don't believe that. I believe you have a choice in everything you do.
Parker : Is this okay? Because I can stop if you wanna. It's your choice. (She pulls his close and strokes his face.) What are you doing?
Buffy : Making a choice.
They kiss again. Cut to them kissing in Parker's room and shedding clothing. Cut to Giles looking through his books and calling someone. The phone rings and he gets Buffy and Willow's answering machine.
Giles : Buffy are you there? Call me, I need to talk to you right away.
Cut to Buffy and Parker getting to know each other in a biblical sense. He has red sheets.
Cut to Parker's room. Buffy wakes up alone and without knowing where her clothing are.
Buffy : Parker?
She wraps the sheet around her and gets up looking through his messy room for her discarded clothing.
Buffy : Just shirt. Pants. Everybody needs pants.
Parker walks in bearing coffee, and Buffy turns around.
Parker : Hey, you're up.
Buffy : You're here.
Parker : I live here.
Buffy : Oh, I just, didn't know where you were.
He sits on the bed, Buffy standing near him.
Parker : It looked like you were going to be out for a while. So I ran for coffee. Better than what I got around here. Warm soda and breath mints.
Buffy : Breath mints. Wouldn't be turning them down right now. So, do you have any plans for today?
Parker : Actually my mom's coming to visit.
Buffy : Oh, well I'll just clear out then. But maybe we could um, talk or something later.
Parker : Absolutely, I'll give you a call.
Buffy : Great. Oh, uh, one more thing before I go.
Parker : A kiss.
Buffy : Well I was going to go with pants, but a kiss is good too.
Cut to Xander and Anya redressing themselves in his room.
Anya : So, I'm over you now.
Xander : Um, Ok.
Anya : Okay?!
Xander : Yeah...
Anya stalks off upset, leaving a very confused Xander behind.
Cut to Harmony and Spike laying in their bed. She's drawing on him with lipstick. He looks out of it.
Spike : Harm, what are you doing.
Harmony : I'm writing Spike loves Harmony on your back.
Spike : Why?
Harmony : I don't know, it's fun. I'm bored. You can write on me.
Spike : I've got to get back to work.
He gets up.
Harmony : You love that tunnel more than me.
Spike : I love syphilis more than you.
Cut to Buffy walking into her dorm room. She starts to undo the straps on the back of her shirt to take it off as she heads towards her bed.
Giles : Oh, good morning.
Buffy sees Giles and Willow at work at Willow's computer. She abruptly stops then starts to redo her top.
Buffy : Giles, I didn't know you were here.
Giles : Uh really.
Buffy : I was studying at the library. All Saturday night. (Giles gives her a look.) Uh, you know what. I'm an adult now and it's none of your business what I do.
Giles : I'm sincerely relieved to hear that. Now can we discuss the impending disaster.
Willow : Giles found something.
Giles : A text. It refers to the gem of amara as residing in the valley of the sun.
Willow : Demon fancy talk for Sunnydale.
Giles : It seems that Spike may know what it's about. The gem may exist after all, in Sunnydale in a sealed underground crypt.
Buffy : Why don't you guys try and locate the crypt and I'll try to find Spike before he gets there.
Giles : I'll get started.
Willow : I'll go call Xander and have him meet at your place.
Giles : (As he leaves) Right.
Willow turns looking excited.
Willow : It happened right? (Bounds over to the bed where Buffy is sitting.) Did it happen? With Parker?
Buffy : Yeah, it happened.
Willow : Well, and details. I mean not details. I don't need a diagram. But, you know. Like maybe a blurry watercolor.
Buffy : It was nice. It was really nice. He's going to call.
Willow : I love this part. Don't you love this part. Like when it's all new and everything's a discovery.
Buffy : I don't know. I guess I do.
Cut to underground where Spike, Harmony and the vampire are still looking for the crypt.
Spike : It's here.
Vampire : I knew it was here.
Spike : We're close now. No one leaves the layer till we're in. I don't want the slayer tracking anyone to the tunnel. And that means you too Harmony. You're an indoor kitty now.
Harmony : But Spike, you said you'd take me places. You said we'd go to France and now I can't even leave the lair.
He throws down his shovel as the other vampires depart.
Spike : Listen to me, you stupid bint. This gem is everything I came back to Sunnydale for, which has witnessed some truly spectacular kickings of my ass. Now, when I have the gem, they'll all die, don't worry. But until then, stay inside. And by the way, I would be insanely happy if I heard bugger all, about sodding France.
Harmony : I don't know why I let you be so mean to me.
Spike : Love hurts baby.
Cut to Buffy going through the campus showing people Harmony's high school picture from her yearbook. Cut to her dorm. The answering machine shows 0 messages. Cut to Spike he's where he's drilling at the tunnel. Cut to Buffy at night at a pay phone.
Phone : You've got one new message at 9:05 p.m. Hi, It's me. I'm at Giles. Did Parker call yet?
Cut to Spike drilling again, this time he breaks through. Cut to answering machine showing 0 messages again. Buffy looking upset lets herself fall on her bed to the side. Cut to Spike climbing into the crypt with a lantern. He looks around and sees a large green gem in an ornate necklace around the neck of a skeleton.
Spike : It's real.
Harmony : Ooh, pretty. Can I take stuff?
Harmony has followed Spike into the crypt and is also holding a lantern.
Spike : Take whatever you want I don't care.
She walks over and kisses him. He strokes the gem and yanks it off the skeleton.
Harmony is trying on a tiara.
Harmony : Eww. Like you're too good to work a clasp.
He puts on the necklace. And does things with his hands, feeling all powerful.
Harmony : So is it doing it? Do you feel it. I mean, you don't look different, if you were wondering. I thought maybe you'd look taller or glow or something. Hmm.
She goes back to playing with the jewels. He strides over and grabs a cross, burning his hand, crying out in pain.
Harmony : You should put some butter on that. But, hey, maybe it's worth money, anyway. That would be something. (Spike strides away, breaking off a piece of wood.) Then we could go to France, I always wanted to go to France and stay in a chateau and you could take me shopping -
She cuts off as he stabs her with the improvisational stake. To their surprise, she doesn't dust, but the wound heals immediately.
Harmony : I can't believe you just did that.
She starts pummeling him with girlie punches to his cheats. He grabs her hand and notices a ring she's put on.
Spike : Hold on.
He grabs a cross and pushes it against her, shielding has hand with a cloth, noting that she isn't burnt.
Harmony : What are you doing you big freak?
Spike : That's my gem.
He grabs her and starts to yank it off.
Harmony : Fine if that's all that matters to you. (She rips the gem off her hand and throws it at him and he catches.) Then take it, take it, take it and get out.
Spike puts it on and strides off.
Spike : That's a good idea. I think I'll go wait outside.
He hops down the hole, leaving Harmony looking miserable.
Cut to Giles apartment were Oz is sifting through some of Giles old records. Giles is trying to study something.
Oz : Okay, either I'm borrowing all your albums or I'm moving in.
Giles : Oz there are more important things than records right now.
Oz : (Holding up a record.) More important than this one?
Giles : Well I suppose an argument could be made for -
Xander : Whoa, Giles has a TV. Everybody, Giles has a TV. He's shallow like us.
Oz : I got to admit, I'm a little disappointed.
Giles : I, ah, uh, uh.
Willow : (Walking in.) Well maybe it doesn't work. Like a piece of art.
Xander turns the TV on. Willow is open mouthed with shock.
Giles : Public television. Come on everyone we have vital work to do. Watching television is not going to help us right now.
TV : - near the UC Sunnydale campus. Officials attribute the unusual occurrence to weakening of the supporting topsoil nearby. City work crews denied any tunneling has been done in the area.
Giles : Tunneling. Spike. Xander, find Buffy and meet us there.
Giles and the gang leave, Xander watches the TV for a second more then gets up to leave. Cut to Buffy walking along the campus, were she spies Parker talking to a young blonde twinkie.
Parker : You know it hit me hard, my dad. Since then I just don't put stuff off anymore. It's about living for now.
Buffy walks over to them.
Buffy : Parker?
Parker : Buffy. Buffy Summers, this is Katie Loomis. (Katie waves.)
Buffy : What's going on?
Parker : Hey, Katie, you're going to be late for class. I'll catch up later, okay.
He picks up her bag and hands it to her as she leaves.
Buffy : She's a friend of yours.
Parker : Yeah, you'd like her a bunch. So, what's up?
Buffy : Well, um you didn't call. I'd, uh I understand if you were busy or sick or something.
Parker : It's only been a few days. You need to talk to me about something.
Buffy : Is everything okay?
Parker : Sure it is.
Buffy : It is?
Parker : Sure.
Buffy; Oh, um, so maybe do you wanna do something.
Parker : Sure, we could do that absolutely.
Buffy : So what about tonight.
Parker : Oh... Uh... I think I'm supposed to get together with some people later ...
Buffy : Parker did I do something wrong?
Parker : Something wrong? No, of course not. It was fun didn't you have fun. Watch out how you answer that. My ego is fragile.
Buffy : You had fun? Was that all it was?
Parker : What else was it supposed to be?
Buffy : It seemed like you liked me.
Parker : I do. But I'm starting to feel like you felt what? Some kind of commitment? Are you sure that's what you want right now?
Buffy : I just thought...
Parker : I'm sorry if you missed something. I thought things were pretty clear.
Buffy : I'm sorry if I miss. I'm sorry.
Parker : Look, I really have to go now.
He walks off leaving Buffy looking dejected.
Buffy : Parker wait. I did this all wrong.
Parker : No, it's cool. We'll hook up later.
Spike : Wow. That was pathetic.
He punches her in the face.
Buffy is on the ground looking up, while Spike stands above her in a beam of sunlight.
Spike : Birds singing, squirrels making lots of rotten little squirrels. Sun beaming down in a nice, non-fatal way. It's very exciting, I can't wait to see if I freckle.
Buffy grabs her stake and jumps up. She lands a punch, then he punches her back and she hits the ground. He goes to jump on her and she kicks him back. He staggers, but jumps forward again, right into her stake.
Spike : Oh, do it again. It tickels. You know, in a good way.
Buffy withdraws the stake and he heals, while she looks somewhat surprised.
Spike : The gem of amara.
He holds up his hand, then backhands her whereupon she hits the ground again.
Spike : Official sponsor, of my killing you.
He vamps out then goes in for the kill. Cut to the underground crypt. Giles and Oz are hefting Willow up through the hole. Harmony is crying.
Harmony : Being a vampire sucks.
She vamps out, then jumps up to attack with a fierce growl. Cut to Xander, knocking anxiously on Buffy and Willow's door.
Xander : Buffy. (Knocks again.) Buffy.
He turns away and runs into Anya.
Anya : Xander. I was looking for you. You weren't in your musty basement.
Xander : Have you seen Buffy.
Anya : No. About what happened. I said I was over you -
Xander : Anya, I don't have time.
He cuts her off, then takes off running. She's left looking dejected. Cut to the crypt.
Giles : Harmony, where's Spike? Has he had the gem.
Harmony : He staked me, then he took it. He tried to take it right off my finger. Like I wouldn't have just given it to him. I would have given him anything he wanted. He was my platinum baby and I loved him.
Giles : Where did Spike go?
Harmony, leaves, descending through the hole. Cut to Buffy and Spike fighting. Buffy is on her knees blocking a punch from Spike. He redirects her into a pole, then kicks her in the stomach. She gets up and tries to kick him but he blocks her and throws her into the pole again. He's pressing her against it, then she grabs him by the throat and begins to choke him, then throws him off her. Buffy kicks him in the stomach, which sends him spinning to the ground. He leaps back up and tries a spinning kick which she blocks, then kicks him with a roundhouse, then another, followed by redirecting him over a bench, sending him rolling. She jumps up on the bench and tries to kick him in the chest, but he blocks her, grabs her arm and throws her into a metal frame table, who's glass top shatters under her. She rolls off and Spike strolls after her.
Spike : Getting tired Slayer?
Buffy gets up, only to be hit with a series of punches and floored again. In the background, we see Xander running up.
Buffy : Xander, get out of here.
Spike grabs him, knees him in the face, and sends him flying into the pole from hell.
Spike : So, you let Parker take a poke, eh? Didn't seem like you know each other that well. What did it take to pry apart the Slayer's dimpled knees?
Buffy : You're a pig Spike.
He jumps from the few stairs he was above her, then kicks her full on.
Spike : Did he play the sensitive lad and get you to seduce him? That's a good trick if the girls thick enough to buy it.
Buffy flies up and delivers a roundhouse, however Spike follows it with an equally vicious hit that sends her flying forward.
Spike : I wonder what went wrong. Were you too strong? Did you bruise the boy? Come to think of it seems like someone told me that. Who was it? Oh, yeah. Angel.
He smiles cruelly, and Buffy is up in an instant. She throws a round house, then a punch, then another and another. She redirects him over the edge of a planter, jumps on it and while coming down kicks him, sending him flying into another planter knocking over a earthenware pot. She grabs him, punching him twice in the face, then grabs the arm with the ring on it.
Spike : Take it off me this way, we both burn.
Buffy : Really? Let's see.
She jerks the ring off his finger and his face instantly contorts into a visage of pain. He starts to smoke then runs off crying out in agony. Buffy, exhausted sits down inspecting the ring. Cut to a close up of the ring on a wooden table.
Willow : I like it.
Oz : It's small.
Xander : Really worth getting my ribs bashed in.
We see that the Scooby gang is collected at Giles apartment, gathered round the ring, which is set in the middle of his coffee table.
Giles : It's also very dangerous. And we're destroying it.
Buffy : We don't destroy it.
Giles : Well, Buffy, any vampire that gets his hand on this is going to be essentially unlikable. (He looks at Buffy for a moment.) Oh.
Oz : I have that gig in LA. I could swing by.
Buffy : Thanks Oz.
Xander : What's going on. What's in LA?
Willow : She's giving the ring to Angel. Don't make a fuss.
Giles : Buffy are you sure.
Buffy : He should have it.
Cut to Buffy and Willow walking through the campus late at night.
Buffy : So what I'm wondering is, does this always happen? Sleep with a guy and he goes all evil. God, I'm such a fool.
Willow : Well maybe you made a mistake. But that's okay. Next time - what?
Buffy : Parker said it's okay to make mistakes. It was sweet.
Willow : No it wasn't. He was saying that so you would take a chance and sleep with him. He's a poop head.
Buffy : You're right. He's manipulative and shallow. And why doesn't he want me. Am I repulsive? If there was something repulsive about me you would tell me, right?
Willow : I'm your friend. I would call you repulsive in a second.
Buffy : Maybe Parker and I could still work it out. Do you think we could still work it out?
Willow : I think you're missing something about this whole poop head principal.
Buffy : I think I'm gonna take a walk. You go on ahead.
Willow : You sure?
Buffy : Yeah.
She heads off leaving Willow behind. She walks along alone, then we see both Anya and Harmony, all looking downtrodden walking along.