Buffy Episode #85: “Fool for Love” Transcript
Written by Douglas Petrie
Prologue
1 EXT. SUNNYDALE
CEMETERY- NIGHT 1
All is quiet in the
mist-shrouded graveyard. Suddenly, the peace is shattered as BUFFY pounds a
VAMPIRE dressed like a Van Halen reject to the ground.
BUFFY
You know, it's probably none
of my business but I just gotta ask...
The vampire lunges at her and
she backhands it.
BUFFY
You smell this bad when you
were alive?
She kicks the vampire into a
headstone.
BUFFY
'Cause if it's a post-mortem
thing, then boy, is my face red...
She flips him over the
headstone and whips out a stake.
BUFFY
But just so you know, the
fast-growing field of personal grooming has come a long way since you became a
vampire.
Buffy somersaults over the
headstone, stake raised and ready to strike. But the vampire seizes her arm as
she lands, spins her around and plunges the stake into Buffy's abdomen. Her
eyes go wide with shock and pain as she looks down at the stake protruding from
her body.
Opening credit sequence.
ACT I
2 EXT. SUNNYDALE
CEMETERY- NIGHT 2
Resume. Buffy looks down in
horror at the stake in her gut. She grips the shaft and, with a gasp of pain,
pulls it out. Her sweater is soaked with her blood.
For the first time in a long
time, Buffy feels fear. She turns and flees, trying to escape the vampire. The
hunter had become the hunted. Her wound slows her, however, and she casts
terrified glances over her shoulder.
Suddenly, the vampire leaps
in front of her and she stops with a gasp, looking around desperately for an
escape route.
ROCKER VAMPIRE
You're going? But you were
having so much fun a minute ago!
Buffy brings the stake up but
the creature easily knocks it from her grasp and tosses her against a nearby
crypt. She doubles over in pain as the vampire picks up her stake and
approaches with a predatory grin.
Buffy is helpless. She
realizes that this is the moment she's been dreading but always knew would
come. She's going to die.
As the vampire raises the
stake for the killing blow, he's suddenly tackled to the ground by RILEY. He
rains blows down on the demon and takes out a taser but the vampire knocks it
from his hand before he can use it and takes off across the graveyard. Riley is
about to give chase when he notices Buffy's obvious distress and rushes to her
aid.
RILEY
Buffy! What happened?
She holds up her bloody
hands, then collapses in arms, unconscious.
CUT TO:
3 INT. SUMMERS HOME-
BUFFY'S ROOM- DAY 3
Riley is applying first aid
and dressing Buffy's wound.
BUFFY
I can't believe I passed out.
Do you think I'm a total wuss now?
RILEY
Oh, yeah. I like a girl who
can play a few hard sets of tennis with a major stab wound.
BUFFY
You said it wasn't that bad.
RILEY
I said I've seen worse.
There's a difference.
BUFFY
Well, at least no major
organs got kebabed.
RILEY
I still think you need to see
a real doctor.
BUFFY
That would put me in a real
hospital which would get my real mom real freaked out. I can't do it. Don't
worry. Accelerated healing powers come with the Slayer package. And the
boyfriend who comes complete with combat medical training? That's just a Buffy
Summers bonus.
RILEY
So tell me about the bad guy-
or guys. What do you think they were?
BUFFY
Vampire.
RILEY
How many?
BUFFY
One.
Riley is surprised.
RILEY
So... what? He was like a
super-vampire or something?
BUFFY
No, he was the regular kind.
He just beat me.
RILEY
That ever happen before?
BUFFY
I'm in the best physical
shape of my life. I mean, if you're asking how it happened, I don't-
The door flies open and DAWN
runs in.
BUFFY
Dawn!
DAWN
Sorry to interrupt the
sex-capades. I just wanted to tell you that Mom's coming.
Riley hides the bandages and
tape just as JOYCE enters the room.
JOYCE
Hi, Riley.
RILEY
Hey, Mrs. Summers. How're you
feeling?
JOYCE
I'm fine, bordering on
chipper and tomorrow planning on being obnoxious.
RILEY
(smiles)
Glad to hear it.
JOYCE
Buffy, when you have a minute
I'd like to go over the grocery list for next week.
BUFFY
You got it.
JOYCE
(re: alcohol)
Are you disinfecting
something?
BUFFY
Huh? Oh, uh-
DAWN
Mine! Some nail polish
experiments are doomed before they even begin.
JOYCE
But you keep pushing the
envelope, honey.
Joyce smiles and leaves,
closing the bedroom door behind her.
DAWN
(smiles; to Buffy)
Did I just pull a
Slayer-related Mom cover-up thing? Come on, who's the man?
BUFFY
You are. A very short,
annoying man.
Stung, Dawn's smile fades.
BUFFY
If I show you something, you
promise you won't tell?
Dawn crosses her heart and
Buffy lifts her shirt to reveal the bandaged stab wound. Dawn is awed.
DAWN
Oh, cool! (off Buffy's look)
I mean, gross!
BUFFY
And Mom cannot know. Okay?
You'll help me with the household stuff?
DAWN
Oh, sure. I save your butt
and you dump all your chores on me. (off Buffy's look) I got it. You're
covered. We're good. Just lucky it's not bikini season.
Buffy smiles and strokes
Dawn's hair.
RILEY
So Dawn takes household duty.
I'll take tonight's patrol.
BUFFY
By yourself?
RILEY
Just a sweep.
BUFFY
Do me a favor? Will you take
the gang along with?
RILEY
Okay. I will patrol with the
group tonight.
DAWN
When do I get to patrol?
BUFFY
Not until you're never.
CUT TO:
4 EXT. SUNNYDALE
CEMETERY- NIGHT 4
Riley moves stealthily among
the headstones, ducking from shadow to shadow. He pauses behind a large marble
slab and raises his arm, fist closed, and pumps it up and down twice before
moving further into the cemetery.
WILLOW, ANYA and XANDER
follow about twenty yards behind him, munching potato chips and making no
effort to conceal themselves.
XANDER
(to Willow)
What's with the hand move?
Does that like mean something?
WILLOW
It's code. I think it breaks
down to "choo-choo".
She mimics pulling a train
whistle.
ANYA
It means to follow him. That,
or wait here for him.
They watch Riley's covert
movements for a moment, then Willow turns to Xander.
WILLOW
Ask.
XANDER
(yells)
Hey, Riley! What's the (hand
gesture) all about?
RILEY
(exasperated)
It means yell real loud so
the vampires who don't know we're coming will have a sporting chance.
XANDER
(to Willow)
See, now he's all mean and
sarcastic.
WILLOW
That's because you were doing
all the yelling, Mr. Stealthy-Pants.
ANYA
(to Riley)
It's their fault.
RILEY
Guys, I'm thinking if we
split up, we could cover more ground. Tell you what? I'll take the cemeteries,
you guys get the Bronze.
ANYA
Are we not being covert
enough?
XANDER
We're sorry!
WILLOW
Sorry.
XANDER
We'll be sneakier. Promise.
He munches loudly on a
handful of chips.
RILEY
Okay. Just ditch the chips
and watch my back.
WILLOW
Done.
She reaches into the bag and
grabs a handful of chips herself before setting the bag down. Riley moves off
into the cemetery again.
XANDER
(to Anya)
You know what he's like? He's
like a cat. You know, a big jungle cat. How come I'm not like that? It's just
so cool.
WILLOW
(munching)
I think you're cool.
CUT TO:
5 INT. THE MAGIC BOX-
NIGHT 5
The reading table is piled
high with books. GILES and Buffy are into some deep research.
GILES
Here's another one. Early
18th Century Slayer.
Buffy closes her book with a
sigh and sets it on the stack.
BUFFY
Good. Let's hope she'll be
more helpful than this last one.
GILES
Why? What does it say?
BUFFY
Same as all the others.
Slayer called... blah, blah... great protector... blah, blah... scary
battles... blah, blah... oops! She's dead. Where are the details?
GILES
Details? Well, it says this
Slayer forged her own weapons.
He hands the book to Buffy.
BUFFY
Gotta love a gal with an
anvil. But where are the details of the Slayer's last battle? You know, what
made that fight special? Why did she lose?
GILES
You didn't lose last night,
Buffy. You just-
BUFFY
Got really close. I slipped
up, Giles. I've been training harder than ever and still I... (beat) And
there's nothing in any of these books to help me understand why. I mean... look,
I realize that every Slayer comes with an expiration mark on the package. But I
want mine to be a long time from now. Like a Cheeto. If there were just a few
good descriptions of what took out the other Slayers, maybe it would help me to
understand my mistake, to keep it from happening again.
GILES
Yes, well, the problem is
after a final battle, it's difficult to get any... well, the Slayer's not...
she's rather...
BUFFY
It's okay to use the D-word,
Giles.
GILES
Dead. And hence not very
forthcoming.
BUFFY
Why didn't the Watchers keep
fuller accounts of it? The journals just stop.
GILES
Well, I suppose if they're
anything like me, they just find the whole subject too-
BUFFY
Unseemly? Damn. Love ya but
you Watchers are such prigs sometimes.
GILES
Painful... I was going to
say.
Buffy and Giles share a
meaningful look.
GILES
But you're right. Accounts of
the final battles would be very helpful. But there's no one left to tell the
tales.
Buffy has a sudden revelation.
GILES
What?
CUT TO:
6 INT. SPIKE'S CRYPT-
NIGHT 6
Buffy shoves SPIKE against
the wall and holds him there.
SPIKE
Ow! (beat) Wait. Not ow. You
feeling all right, Slayer? This stuff usually hurts.
Buffy spins him around to
face her.
BUFFY
Don't even start, Spike.
SPIKE
What do you want?
BUFFY
Slayers. You killed two of
them.
SPIKE
(wary)
I did.
BUFFY
You're gonna show me how.
FADE OUT
ACT II
7 INT. THE BRONZE- NIGHT 7
Spike and Buffy sit at a
corner table. Spike greedily drains a mug of beer while Buffy stoically
watches.
SPIKE
You know, there quite a few
American beers that are highly underrated. This unfortunately is not one of
them.
BUFFY
Update, Spike. We're not here
to discuss the fine choice of hops. It's about two Slayers: one in China during
the Boxer Rebellion, one in New York.
She holds up a wad of cash
and snatches it back as he tries to grab for it.
BUFFY
Both got killed by you. Tell
the tale, you get the cash.
SPIKE
Right. You want to learn all
about how I bested the Slayers and you want to learn fast. Right, then. We
fought. I won. The end. Pay up.
BUFFY
That's not what I-
SPIKE
What did you want, eh? A
quick demo? A blow-for-blow description you can map out and memorize? It's not
about the moves, love. And since I agreed to your little proposition, we can do
this my way. Wings.
BUFFY
What?
SPIKE
Spicy buffalo wings. Order me
up a plate. I'm feelin' peckish.
Buffy sighs and turns to
signal a waitress.
BUFFY
Excuse me-
The movement aggravates her
injury and she winces in pain.
SPIKE
As I thought. Some nasty
thing got a taste of you.
BUFFY
Don't get all excited. I'm
fine.
SPIKE
Oh, right. Stuck in a dark
corner with a creature you loathe, diggin' up past uglies, 'cause you're fine.
BUFFY
Just tell me what I want to
know.
SPIKE
I told you. No one's
narrating on an empty stomach here.
Buffy shakes her head in
exasperation.
BUFFY
Were you born this big a pain
in the ass?
SPIKE
What can I tell you, baby?
I've always been bad.
CUT TO:
8 INT. LONDON (1880)-
VICTORIAN PARLOR- NIGHT 8
A very different Spike is
sitting and composing poetry off in the corner of a dinner party. The spirited
laughter of the party-goers can be heard in the background. Spike's hair is
long and unruly and he's dressed as a proper gentleman, complete with tie and
reading spectacles. He's awkward and bookish- none of the confident swagger
we're used to.
SPIKE
(to himself)
Luminous... oh, no, no, no.
Irradiant's better.
A WAITER approaches and holds
out a tray.
WAITER
Care for an hors d'oeuvre,
sir?
SPIKE
Oh, quickly! I'm the very
spirit of vexation. What's another word for "gleaming"? It's a
perfectly perfect word as many words go but the bother is nothing rhymes, you
see.
The waiter smiles
patronizingly and moves off into the crowd. Spike's eyes are drawn to CECILY,
young woman just entering the party.
SPIKE
Cecily...
He turns back to his poem
with renewed purpose and jots down several more lines, then gets up and moves
through the crowd toward her.
TITLE CARD: London, 1880
CUT TO:
A group of young ARISTOCRATs-
a woman and her two male companions- are gathered, discussing current events.
ARISTOCRAT #1
I mean to point out that it's
something of a mystery and the police should keep an open mind.
One of the men turns to Spike
as he passes by.
ARISTOCRAT #2
(to Spike)
Ah, William! Favor us with
your opinion. What do you make of this rash of disappearances sweeping through
our town? Animals or thieves?
SPIKE
(haughty)
I prefer not to think of such
dark, ugly business at all. That's what the police are for. (looks at Cecily) I
prefer placing my energies into creating things of beauty.
The third aristocrat snatches
the poem from Spike's hands.
ARISTOCRAT #3
I see. Well, don't withhold,
William.
ARISTOCRAT #1
Rescue us from a dreary
topic.
SPIKE
(to Aristocrat #3)
Careful. The inks are still
wet. Please, it's not finished.
ARISTOCRAT #3
Don't be shy. (reads)
"My heart expands/'tis grown a bulge in it/inspired by your beauty,
effulgent." (laughs) Effulgent?
Everyone laughs, mocking
Spike. Uncomfortable, Cecily glances at Spike and walks off. Spike shoots
Aristocrat #3 a sour look, snatches back his poem, and follows her.
ARISTOCRAT #2
And that's actually one of
his better compositions.
ARISTOCRAT #1
Have you heard? They call him
William the Bloody because of his bloody awful poetry!
ARISTOCRAT #3
It suits him. I'd rather have
a railroad spike through my head than listen to that awful stuff!
CUT TO:
Spike approaches Cecily who
is sitting on a sofa, away from the main party, and looking out the window.
SPIKE
Cecily?
She turns and sighs when she
sees him.
CECILY
Oh. Leave me alone.
SPIKE
(re: other guests)
Oh, they're vulgarians.
They're not like you and I.
CECILY
You and I? I'm going to ask
you a very personal question and I demand an honest answer. Do you understand?
He nods.
CECILY
Your poetry, it's...
they're... not written about me, are they?
SPIKE
They're about how I feel.
CECILY
Yes, but are they about me?
SPIKE
Every syllable.
CECILY
Oh, God!
SPIKE
Oh, I know... it's sudden
and... please, if they're no good, they're only words but... the feeling behind
them... I love you, Cecily.
CECILY
Please stop!
SPIKE
I know I'm a bad poet but I'm
a good man and all I ask is that... that you try to see me-
CECILY
I do see you. That's the
problem. You're nothing to me, William. You're beneath me.
She stands and walks off,
leaving Spike devastated and alone.
CUT TO:
9 EXT. LONDON STREET-
NIGHT 9
Spike staggers down the
street in tears, ripping up his poems as he goes. He bumps into a passerby and
drops the pages.
SPIKE
Watch where you're going!
He gathers up the torn sheets
and makes his way toward a nearby alleyway.
CUT TO:
10 EXT. LONDON ALLEY- NIGHT 10
Spike is sitting on a bale of
hay and finishing the job of destroying his poetry. He looks up at the sound of
a woman's voice to find DRUSILLA standing serenely in the dark alley with him.
DRUSILLA
And I wonder... what possible
catastrophe came crashing down from heaven and brought this dashing stranger to
tears?
SPIKE
Nothing. I wish to be alone.
DRUSILLA
Oh, I see you. A man
surrounded by fools who cannot see his strength, his vision, his glory. (beat)
That and burning baby fish swimming all around your head.
Spike backs away from her,
nervous.
SPIKE
That's quite close enough.
I've heard tales of London pickpockets. You'll not be getting my purse, I tell
you.
DRUSILLA
(smiles)
Don't need a purse.
She points to his heart and
head in succession.
DRUSILLA
Your wealth lies here... and
here. In the spirit and... imagination. You walk in worlds the others can't
begin to imagine.
Spike is riveted by her
insight into his character.
SPIKE
Oh, yes! I mean, no. I
mean... mother's expecting me.
Drusilla opens the collar of
his shirt.
DRUSILLA
I see what you want.
Something glowing and glistening. Something... effulgent.
Spike is beside himself.
Finally someone who understands him.
SPIKE
(sotto)
Effulgent.
DRUSILLA
Do you want it?
Spike has never wanted
anything more.
SPIKE
Oh, yes! (touches her chest)
God, yes.
Drusilla looks down for a
moment as her face changes and her fangs descend. Spike reacts, more confused
than afraid. She pulls back his shirt collar and buries her fangs in his neck.
Spike cries out in pain but his cries quickly turn to moans of pleasure as
Drusilla ends his human existence.
CUT TO:
11 EXT. SUNNYDALE CEMETERY (PRESENT)- NIGHT 11
Riley, Willow, Anya and
Xander are crouched behind headstones as the Rocker Vampire who staked Buffy
makes his way through the graveyard. Riley sees him first.
RILEY
Guys...
XANDER
What you got?
RILEY
That's him. Let's go.
The vampire slips into a
crypt as the four of them cautiously approach. Boisterous laughter can be heard
coming from inside. Riley motions for the others to stay put as he steals up to
the crypt entrance and peers inside. He sees the Rocker Vampire with four
others and backs off, frustrated. He returns to the others.
XANDER
It sounds like a party in
there.
RILEY
Forget about crashing.
There's too many of them. We'll come back at daybreak when they're asleep and
we're better armed. It's okay. We can kill them just as dead in the morning.
CUT TO:
12 INT. THE BRONZE- NIGHT 12
Buffy and Spike are shooting
pool as Spike relates his story.
BUFFY
So you traded up on the food
chain. Then what?
SPIKE
No, please. Don't make it
sound like something you'd flip past on the Discovery Channel. Becoming a
vampire is a profound and powerful experience. I could feel this new strength
coursing through me. Getting killed made me feel alive for the very first time.
I was through living by society's rules. Decided to make a few of my own. Of
course, in order to do that... I had to get myself a gang.
CUT TO:
13 INT. YORKSHIRE, ENGLAND
(1880)- COAL MINE- DAY 13
ANGELUS has Spike by the
throat, choking him.