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The body of a dead cheerleader is dug up from the cemetery, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer is officially back in the saddle. Cordelia accidentally stumbles upon a bunch of body parts in a dumpster, and the parts add up to three people — the dead cheerleader and her two friends who were killed in the same car accident — only some of the parts are missing.
Giles suspects zombie activity, and clues lead to Chris — a science whiz who’s been quiet and withdrawn since his brother Daryl’s death. We discover Chris, with his buddy Eric, has been secretly assembling a woman from these body parts for Daryl, so he won’t have to be alone through eternity.
The only part they don’t have yet is a head — the cheerleader’s heads are unusable because the formaldehyde used to preserve dead bodies causes rapid deterioration of brain cells. There are currently three live head donors being considered: Buffy, Willow and Cordelia. Daryl votes for Cordelia, but Chris doesn’t want to kill anyone, and Daryl becomes enraged.
Meanwhile, Giles is courting Ms. Calendar, and their first official date is to the school’s football game. That night, Eric decides to kill Cordelia, since Chris can’t bring himself to do the deed, but Buffy arrives just in time to save her. As Buffy struggles with Daryl, a can of gasoline spills.
A fire starts and Xander, who has arrived to help, pushes Cordelia to safety. Chris, seeing his headless fiancee is about to perish in the fire, throws himself on top of her and pledges his undying love.
Angel and Buffy finally talk things out – he admits he was jealous of her attention to Xander, and he feels left out of her life since he can only be with her at night. They walk off together as we see Daryl’s tombstone.
EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT CLOSE ON: A HEADSTONE
The engraved rock tells us that STEPHAN KORSHAK died within the last couple of days and now rests
Then, a YO-YO DROPS DOWN INTO FRAME in front of the death stone, spins, then reels BACK UP
AND OUT OF FRAME.
A beat, then the YO-YO RETURNS. This time, WE GO BACK UP WITH IT to BUFFY, atop the
tombstone, keeping a bored vigil with the stringed toy in one hand and a stake in the other.
BEHIND HER, ANGEL approaches through the cemetery, UNNOTICED.
(to the grave below)
Come on, Stephan, rise and shine.
Some of us have a ton of trig
Caught off guard, Buffy SPINS, startled.
Is this a bad time?
(steps off the stone)
Are you crazy? You don’t just sneak
up on people in a graveyard. You make
noise when you walk. You…
stomp, or… yodel.
I heard you were on the hunt.
Supposed to be. But lazybones here
doesn’t wanna come out and play.
When you first wake up, it’s a little
disorienting. He’ll show.
It’s weird to think of you going
It’s weird to go through. You’re
I just thought you’d have somebody
with you… Xander or someone.
No, no Xander. Why, are you jealous?
Of Xander? Please. He’s just a kid.
Is it ’cause I danced with him?
“Danced with” is a pretty loose term.
“Mated with” might be a little closer —
Oh, you’re shocking! One little
dance and you know I just did it to
make you crazy which by the way
behold my success!
I am not jealous!
Neither of them notice as they argue that Stephan starts crawling out of his grave, looking at them
with ravenous glee.
Oh, you’re not jealous. What,
vampires don’t get jealous?
See? Whenever we fight, you always
bring up the vampire thing.
I didn’t come here to fight.
Stephan leaps on her, knocking her to the ground. She throws him off.
Oh, right. I did.
Where’s my stake?
What’d you do with my stake?
I didn’t touch your stake…
He grabs a shovel. Grins.
Angel charges him and he WHACKS him in the head. Angel flies back, lands hard as Buffy moves in —
— Stephan swings at her but she gets inside it, raises her arm and the shovel — CRACK – splinters in
half as it hits her forearm. With the other arm she wrenches the half he’s holding out of his grasp and
SHOVES it into his heart.
He turns to DUST.
Angel rises, rubbing his head.
And what do you mean, “He’s just a kid.”
Does that mean I’m just a kid too?
Angel starts to answer, then just shakes his head.
Look, obviously I made a mistake
coming here tonight…
Angel turns and starts away, going around the tree. Buffy quickly starts after him, working to catch
Oh, no you don’t. You can’t just
turn and walk away. It takes more
then that to get rid of me…
And suddenly, BUFFY DROPS OUT OF FRAME.
ANGLE: LOOKING DOWN INTO AN OPEN GRAVE
Buffy lays in an open, silk-upholstered coffin at the bottom of the six foot hole.
Buffy looks up at Angel, who crouches at the edge of the grave above, looking down. She sits up
I wish people wouldn’t leave open
graves laying around like this.
She rises from the box, looking to Angel for a hand up and out. But he’s standing again, scanning the
So another vampire has risen tonight.
ANGLE ON: BUFFY STIL IN THE HOLE
At eye level with the ground around the open grave.
I don’t think so.
Whoever was buried here didn’t rise
from this grave…
To two shallow depressions in the grass. We don’t need to know what they are — Buffy does. She
jumps out of the grave.
BUFFY’S POV – AT GROUND LEVEL
Tracking fast through the grass (and the depressions) to a WHITE, FORMAL WOMAN’S SHOE, left
behind. A hand enters frame, picks up the shoe, takes us to Buffy:
…she was dragged from it.
END OF TEASER
INT. LIBRARY – DAY
Buffy and XANDER enter. GILES, his back toward them, doesn’t notice their entrance. He’s busy
TALKING TO AN EMPTY CHAIR.
So, what I’m proposing… and I don’t
mean to appear indecorous… is a
social engagement… a date, if you
will. If you’re amenable…
Boy. I guess we just never realized
how much you liked that chair.
Oh, I, uh, I was just working on–
Your pick-up lines?
In a manner of speaking, yes.
Then, if you don’t mind a little Gene
and Roger, I would leave off the
“idiot” part. Being called an idiot
tends to take a person out of the
Actually, it kind of turns me on.
I fear you.
I’d also avoid words like “amenable”
and “indecorous.” Speak English, not
whatever they speak in…
Yeah. Just say, “Hey, I got a thing,
you’re maybe feeling a thing, and
there could be a thing.”
Well, thank you, Cyrano.
I’m not finished. Then you say, “How
do you feel about Mexican?”
Mexican! Food. You take her for
food. For which you then pay.
(to Giles, re: chair)
So, this “chair” woman? We are
talking Ms. Calendar, right?
What makes you think that?
Simple deduction: Ms. Calendar is
reasonably dollsome, especially for
someone in your age bracket; she
already knows you’re a school librarian,
so you don’t have to worry about how to
break that embarrassing news to her…
And she’s the only woman we’ve ever
actually seen speaking to you.
Add it all up, it spells “duh.”
Now, is it time for us to talk about
the facts of life?
I am suddenly deciding that this
is none of your business.
‘Cause that whole stork thing is a
Giles pointedly changes the subject.
So, how did things go last night?
Did Mr. Korshack show up on schedule?
More or less. Angel and I took care of him.
There’s something else, though.
I found an empty grave.
No, no. It was dug up, and the
body was taken out.
Grave robbing. Well, that’s new.
I know that you meant to say “gross
Yes of course. Terrible thing. Must
put a stop to it.
So why does someone rob graves?
I’ll collate some theories. Might
help to know who the body belonged to.
Meredith Todd. Ring a bell?
Xander shakes his head.
She died very recently. And she was
Drawing a blank.
Well, perhaps Willow can fire up the
(points at computer)
and track Meredith down.
INT. SCHOOL LOUNGE – DAY
A table is set up beneath a banner: “SCIENCE FAIR SIGN-UP.” WILLOW is writing on one of the
clipboards. She looks up to see:
ANGLE: A CAMERA
Going off in her face. ERIC is an annoying, aggressive science nerd who right now is taking pictures
of every pretty girl who passes by.
He turns the lens on a passing senior, looking her up and down.
Look at those legs…
No thank you.
Eric, knock it off.
Willow glances over at CHRIS EPPS, who picks up the clipboard next to her. He’s shy and brainy, but
he has a quiet authority.
Chris glances up to see Willow watching him write. She reacts.
Hey, Chris. I was just wondering
what you’re going to do this year.
Well, every year, you win and I place
second. I just thought I’d see what
I’m up against.
You know what the key is? If Dr.
Clark doesn’t understand your
experiment, he gives it higher marks
so it looks like he understands your
“Effects of Subviolet Light Spectrum
Deprivation on the Development of Fruit Flies.”
That should do the trick.
CORDELIA steps up beside Willow, picks up a clipboard, starts writing. She is not radiating sunshine.
Okay, I’m doing this under protest.
It is not fair that they’re making
participation in the Science Fair
mandatory this year. I don’t think
anyone should have to do anything
educational at school if they don’t
“The Tomato: Fruit or Vegetable?”
I want something I can finish in a
Just then, Eric appears and begins aggressively snapping photos of Cordelia.
What do you think you’re doing?!
Stop it! We’re under fluorescent
lights, for god’s sake!
Cordelia turns away
Come on. The camera loves you.
I thought yearbook nerds didn’t come
out of hibernation till the spring.
It’s for my private collection.
Eric, will you quit it?
Buffy enters. Eric snaps her picture.
(then, to Willow)
Hey, Willow, sorry to interrupt,
but.. it’s the Bat Signal.
(smiles to Chris)
See you, Chris. Thanks for the tip.
Chris smiles at Willow as she leaves with Buffy. Cordelia lingers, but when she sees Eric’s leer, she
quickly follows. Eric watches her go, with a malevolent grin.
Cordelia is so fine. You know, she’d
be just perfect for us…
Don’t be an idiot.
Chris crosses off, leaving Eric to continue watching Cordelia walk away. Eric’s creepy smile returns.
INT. LIBRARY – DAY
Willow settles in at the computer. Buffy et al. hover.
This shouldn’t take long. I’m
probably the only girl in school who
has the Coroner’s Office bookmarked
as a “favorite place.”
Willow starts her web search as Cordelia enters.
Hi. Sorry to interrupt your little
undead play group, but I need to ask
Willow if she’ll help me with my
Science Fair project.
(not looking up)
It’s a fruit.
I would ask Chris for help, but…
(a little emotional)
it would bring back too many
memories of Daryl.
I found it…
The gang gathers around Willow at the computer screen, ignoring Cordelia.
According to this, Meredith Todd died
in a car accident last week.
Of course, I’ve learned to deal with
And how was her neck?
Fine… except for being broken.
Hello? Can we deal with my pain
Xander, without looking at Cordelia and without feeling, pats her shoulder.
It says Meredith and two other girls
in the car were killed instantly.
They were all on the pep squad at
Fondren High, on the way to a game.
You know what this means…
That Fondren might actually beat
Sunnydale in the cross-town body
count competition this year?
It means she wasn’t killed by
vampires. So somebody did dig up her
Eeuw. Why is it that every
conversation you people have has the
word “corpse” in it?
So, okay, we got us a body snatcher.
What does that mean?
Here’s what I’ve come up with: demons
who eat the flesh of the dead to
absorb their souls.
Or it could be a voodoo
You mean, making a zombie?
More likely, zombies. For most
traditional purposes, a voodoo priest
would need more than one.
So we should see if the other girls
from this accident are AWOL, too.
Might help figure out what this creep
has in mind if we know whether he’s
dealing in volume.
So we dig up some graves tonight?
Oh boy, a field trip!
Are you gonna call Angel?
I don’t think so.
Yeah, why bother him?
We’ve been sort of… never mind. As
far as Angel knows, I’m taking the
night off. Okay?
So, we’re all set, then. Say
nine-ish, B.Y.O. shovel.
I’ll pack some food. Who likes those
little powdered donuts?
Xander raises his hand.
Darn, I have Cheerleader practice
tonight. Boy, I wish I’d known you
were gonna be digging up dead people
sooner; I would have cancelled.
All right. But if you do run into
the army of zombies, could you page
us before they eat your flesh?
Trying not to be affected by that idea, Cordelia exits.
Xander, Zombies don’t eat the flesh
of the living.
I know, but did you see her face?
ANGLE ON: THE LIBRARY’S COMPUTER SCREEN
With an article and NEWS PHOTO OF THE THREE DEAD GIRLS, all smiles in their pep squad outfits.
The caption below, identifies them as Meredith Todd, Jane Atkins and CATHY RYAN.
EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT
CLOSE ON: A HEADSTONE
With the name CATHY RYAN, her birth and death dates: she was 17.
WIDER ANGLE: CEMETERY – NIGHT
Buffy with her back to a tombstone next to Willow. Before them, Xander and Giles wield shovels,
already pretty deep into the ground, and way grimed from the effort. As they talk, Willow munches a
little powdered donut.
He was getting all jealous and he
wouldn’t even admit it.
Jealous of what?
‘Cause you did that sexy dance with him?
Am I ever gonna live that down?
Anyway, Angel’s being totally irrational.
Love makes you do the wacky.
That’s the truth.
(sticks his head out)
You know, this might go faster if you
fems picked up a shovel, too.
Sorry, but I’m an old-fashioned girl.
I was raised to believe the men dig
up the corpses and the women have
Speaking of the wacky, what was
Cordelia’s whole riff about painful
memories? Who’s Daryl?
Daryl Epps. Chris’s older brother.
He was a big football star. All-State
two years ago. A running… someone
that runs and catches.
Was he a studly?
Big time. All the girls were crazy
And he broke Cordy’s heart? Thus
possibly proving its existence…
He died. Rock climbing, or
something. He fell.
Oh, man. That’s lousy. Poor Chris.
He really looked up to his brother.
It was tough. Ever since then he’s
been… real quiet. Kind of in his
own world. And I hear his mother
doesn’t even leave the house anymore.
I think we’re there.
Buffy and Willow peer over the edge of the open grave as Giles and Xander quickly clear the top of
By the way, are we hoping to find a
body, or no body?
Call me an optimist, but I’m hoping
to find a fortune in gold dubloons.
Well, “body” could mean flesh eating
demon or corpse-mutilating pagan
ritual. “No body” points more toward
the army of zombies thing. Take your
Everyone looks on in anticipation as Giles and Xander each wait for the other to do the honors.
Buffy agilely drops down, takes a deep breath and reaches for the latch that will open the top half of
the hinged coffin lid.
BLACK, INSIDE THE COFFIN.
As the lid is opened and WE LOOK up at our quartet, who look back at us.
EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT – NIGHT
Cordelia and TWO OTHER CHEERLEADERS in full uniform talk as they cross the school student
parking lot after practice.
Guys, if we don’t have it down by
tomorrow then no one will be led by
our cheers. Practice.
The other cheerleaders get in their car and drive off, leaving Cordelia to cross to her car several
She feels like someone’s watching. She stops, scans the lot.
No answer. She digs her keys from her purse as she quickens her pace to her car. She looks around
again. No one.
She puts the key in the lock, then hears a WHOOSH sound.
Xander Harris, if this is your idea of a joke…
Another SOUND. Closer.
Cordelia juggles her keychain, fumbles it to the ground. The keys glance off her shoe and skitter
under the car. p sees- she car, the beneath looks as But keys. her retrieve to try crouches now, wig
maximum at>FEET, two, standing right on the other side of her car.
Cordelia freaks, leaves her keys and takes off running, away from the car, toward the nearest school
We see the FORM of SOMEONE coming around the car after her.
EXT. SCHOOL/AROUND THE CORNER – NIGHT
An alleyway formed by the wall of a separate building and the main school building. It’s deserted,
save for a couple of FOOTBALL BLOCKING SLEDS and orange DRIVER’S ED. CONES stored there
beside a GARBAGE DUMPSTER.
A SHADOW, Cordelia’s pursuer, drifts slowly past the objects, pausing for only a moment before
Then, all is quiet.
CLOSER ON: THE DUMPSTER
As Cordelia slowly, tentatively sticks her head up and looks left, then right into the eyes of–
Cordelia screams, falls back. Angel smiles.
Cordelia. This is the last place I
expected you to hang out.
Oh, god… oh, god, it’s you.
Why were you following me?
I wasn’t sure it was you at first.
I’m looking for Buffy.
Buffy? Well, she’s — big shock —
at the graveyard.
She said she’d be home.
Oh, she lied. Isn’t she a rascal?
Angel reacts, affected by this, betrayed.
But, luck is on your side, it just so
happens my night’s free…
Cordelia holds out her hand. Angel, somewhat reluctantly, takes it, to help her climb out. The back of
her dress gets stuck on something.
Hold on, my dress is caught…
She reaches behind her, pulls something loose.
Cordelia sees what she just pulled loose behind her: a human hand, severed a ways below the wrist.
Cordelia holds it at the wrist. Cordelia screams.
END OF ACT ONE
INT. LIBRARY – (SAME) NIGHT
WE HEAR VOICES approaching from the hallway. The doors open as Buffy, Willow, Xander and Giles
return from the cemetery.
So, both coffins empty, that makes
three girls signed up for the army of
Is it an army if you just have three?
Well, Zombie drill team then —
ANGEL’S VOICE (O.S.)
Angel steps from the shadows, Cordelia clinging to him with a hermetic seal, her head buried in his
chest. Buffy reacts.
She stops, standing right by Xander, a fact not lost on Angel.
I thought you were taking the night off.
I was… going to. But, at the last
Cordelia told me the truth.
That’s gotta be a first.
We were investigating… somebody’s
been stealing the bodies of dead
I know. We found some of them.
You mean like two of the three?
I mean, like some of them. Like
(finally looking up)
It was horrible. Angel saved me from
Another look between Angel and Buffy.
God, there were parts everywhere.
Why do these terrible things always
happen to me?
(coughing the word in
to his fist)
Well, so much for the zombie theory.
So much for all our theories.
I don’t get it. Why dig up three
bodies, just to chop them up and
throw them away again?
What I saw didn’t add up to three
whole girls. I think they kept some
Could this get yuckier?
They probably kept the other parts to
But why dispose of the remains here
at the school?
Maybe whoever did it had other
business in the neighborhood. Like,
This was no hatchet job. Whoever
made those incisions really knew what
they were doing.
Yes, what student here would be that
well-versed in physiology?
I can think of maybe five or six guys
in the science club.
Why don’t you get their locker
numbers, and we’ll check ’em out.
No, I want to go home now. I have to
bathe and burn my clothes.
Everybody wave bye-bye.
I don’t want to go alone. I’m still
Can you take me?
Angel turns toward Buffy. She looks away. Cordelia quickly wraps an arm around Angel.
Great! I’ll drive.
With a look back, Angel is dragged from the library by Cordelia.
How about that? I always pegged him as a
“one woman” vampire.
Willow nudges Xander, gestures toward Buffy.
But Buffy is staring at the library door. She hasn’t heard a word said since the doors closed behind
INT. CHRIS’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
CHRIS’S MOM, in a loose floral house dress, sits in a worn arm chair. A cigarette, burning a quarter
inch into the filter, hangs from her lips. Her empty gaze is fixed on a television set OFF CAMERA. The
house is unkempt, dark and depressing.
Chris enters from downstairs, carefully shutting the cellar door behind him. On the door we see a
sign that says: NO TRESPASSING – KEEP OUT! (Typical of a teenager, it’s cluttered with other signs
as well, and stickers and whatnot.)
I’m going out, mom.
Chris’s Mom doesn’t react, doesn’t even acknowledge him.
I’ll be back later, okay? Mom…?
Still nothing but cigarette smoke from Chris’s Mom. After a beat, Chris finally goes, leaving his Mom
in her smoking world.
ANGLE: THE TV
We see a home vid of a football game — a victorious Daryl Epps running up to the camera, smiling.
INT. HALL – NIGHT
Willow and Xander are opening lockers using info from copies of a computer print-out. Giles sort of
hovers behind them.
I hope you understand that as a
school official, I can not condone
this unauthorized search.
Okay, your butt’s covered. You want
to grab a locker?
Yes of course.
Giles takes a sheet from Buffy and crosses to a locker. Buffy crosses to Eric’s, saying:
Okay, Eric, let’s see what’s on your
Willow opens a locker. It’s full of magazines.
Nothing but back issues of
Ooh, I haven’t read this one.
Nothing remarkable here…
Giles and Willow cross to Xander.
Your friend, Chris Epps’ locker.
He opens the door wider, revealing a stack of books inside.
“Gray’s Anatomy”, “Mortician’s Desk
Reference”, “Robicheaux’s Guide to
Muscles and Tendons”.
MOVE DOWN THE BOOKS’ SPINES, with titles like Gray’s Anatomy, Mortician’s Desk Reference,
Robicheaux’s Guide to Muscles and Tendons, etc.
Giles reaches in, pulls out a folded section of the local newspaper, open to the story and NEWS
PHOTO OF THE THREE DEAD PEP SQUAD GIRLS we saw on Willow’s computer screen before.
Fair to say, Chris is involved.
He’s into corpses, all right, but we
still don’t know why.
Yes we do.
She is staring at Eric’s locker. Taped inside that locker door–
THE PICTURE OF A WOMAN
Actually, it’s a COLLAGE, with various facial features and body parts torn from different MODELS in
magazine ads and pasted together to form a grotesque image of an “ideal” woman.
INT. LAB (OLD SCIENCE BUILDING) – NIGHT
ANGLE: BIRD’S EYE VIEW OF AN OPERATING TABLE
There is a body clearly defined under the sheet on this table, (framed to match the size and angle of
the locker collage).
Walking around the table is Chris. He lifts part of the sheet, hooks an electrode to a foot.
Emerges from a small darkroom off the lab, a few still-dripping photos in his hands. He is singing to
I GUESS, YOU’D SAY, WHAT CAN MAKE ME
FEEL THIS WAY. MY GIRL…
How’s my baby?
She’s not your baby.
She’s not gonna be anyone’s baby if
we don’t finish her soon.
I’m working on it.
So am I, friend. So am I.
As he says this he hangs the photos on a line with some others. They are all photos of Sunnydale
girls, including Buffy, Willow and Cordelia.
He goes back into the dark room, passing the body and for the first time we see up close:
Which has clearly been sewn together.
A DREAM GIRL
That is, a fantastic looking SENIOR GIRL as she walks across–
EXT. QUAD – THE NEXT MORNING
A TRIO of GEEKISH GUYS worshipfully watch her every step.
ANGLE ON: XANDER AND WILLOW
As they sit together on the front steps of the school. Buffy joins them, watching the geek trio
watching the dream girl.
Any sign of our suspects?
She sits, still looking at the people around her.
I don’t get it, why would anyone want
to make a girl?
You mean, when there’s so many
pre-made ones just lying around?
The things we do for love…
Love has nothing to do with this.
Maybe not, but I’ll tell you this:
People don’t fall in love with
what’s right in front of them. People
want the dream. What they can’t have.
The more unattainable,
the more attractive.
Buffy reacts. This notion strikes a chord — actually with all three of them.
And for Eric the unattainable would
include everyone. That’s alive.
Eric’s sick enough to do something
like this, but what’s up with Chris?
He seems like a human person.
I don’t know. The thing with his
brother was really hard on him;
He talked a lot about death. Maybe he
just wants to get one up on it.
But, it’s not… doable, is it? I
mean, making someone from scraps?
Actually making them live?
If it is, my science project’s
definitely coming in second this year.
Giles emerges from the school. He scans the ARRIVING CROWD, not noticing Buffy and company.
And speaking of love…
We were talking about the reanimation
of dead tissue.
Do I deconstruct your segues? Yeesh.
Oh. Yes. Hello.
Still no sign of our mad doctors.
What? Oh. Corpses. Evil. Very
Buffy turns, sees what Giles sees. MS. CALENDAR is coming.
Okay, Giles, just remember. “I’m
feeling a thing, you’re feeling a
thing.” But personalize it.
She’s a techno-pagan, right? Ask her
to bless your laptop or something.
(to the others)
Come on, guys.
She nudges the other two and they take off. Giles turns as the trio disappears into the school.
No! Don’t leave me! Oh, dear.
And Ms. Calendar is there, passing Giles on her way inside.
Good morning, Rupert.
(stops, turns back)
Please, call me Jennie. “Ms.”
Calendar is my father.
INT. SCHOOL CORRIDOR – DAY
You know, uh, Jenny, I don’t mean to
appear indecorous… no, not
Oh, dear… I, uh… that is…
(a beat, then)
Rupert, look, I have to get inside to
set up the computer lab…
Well, what I am proposing is…
The SCHOOL BELL RINGS, and PEOPLE start moving inside.
Sorry, but I really have to go.
Giles nods and Ms. Calendar turns and crosses to the door.
Giles is startled as Ms. Calendar reappears beside him.
Listen, if it’s important, why don’t
you just tell me at the game?
You’re going to the football game?
You seem surprised.
I guess I just assumed you spent your
evenings downloading incantations…
On game night? Are you nuts? I
assume you’re going, too.
Oh, uh, of course.
So, why don’t we just go together?
I could pick you up after school, we
could get something to eat on the
way, if you like. How do you feel
Giles can manage no better than a twitchy nod.
MS. CALENDAR (cont’d)
And whatever it is you want to tell me,
you can tell me then. Okay?
Okay… tonight, then.
Ms. Calendar smiles, then drifts inside. Giles lingers a beat, before a self-satisfied smile crosses his
That went well. I think.
INT. SCIENCE CLASSROOM – AFTERNOON
Xander is playing with a visible head as Willow pores over volumes.
I still don’t get how Chris could do
it. Arresting the cell deterioration
is one thing, but…
Xander makes the head talk.
Hello… I want to get ahead!
Maybe an electrical current combined
with an adrenaline boost…
(as the head)
For the love of God, somebody scratch
Buffy enters, all business.
Well, it’s official. Chris and Eric
didn’t come to school today.
That’s not a coincidence.
Maybe they finished their project.
God, what if it worked, what if that
poor girl is walking around…
Uh, poor girls, technically.
What could she be thinking?
And what are they… going to do with
I don’t think we have to worry about
that just yet.
All turn as he enters.
I contacted the police this morning
about the remains. They’ve just
finished sorting through them.
Apparently, there were three heads in
And they only had three girls.
So they don’t have the whole, uh,
Heads must be no good. Hrnmmm, they
seemed attractive enough to me…
(off their looks,
with some pride)
obviously I’m not as sick as Chris
Based on what the police put
together, they’re one step away from
completing their masterpiece.
As the four of them contemplate this, the camera ARMS DOWN, the visible head filling the frame.
ANGLE: THE DOOR TO CHRIS’S BASEMENT
We track slowly in at the sign that says: NO TRESPASSING – KEEP OUT! (A.D.’s beware, Chris’ mom
may be in the shot.)
We’re running out of time!
INT. STORAGE ROOM/BASEMENT – DAY
Chris and Eric are in a dark, cramped, cluttered room filled with dust-covered pieces of furniture,
boxes, etc. The room is lit only by a single bare light bulb and a shaft of light angling down from a
small clerestory window above.
If we wait too long, the onset of
atrophy in the limbs will be
We can turn up the current. That’ll
buy us a day at least.
We’ll lose the entire body if we
don’t attach the head soon!
We have time!
We don’t! The crash with the girls
was lucky. But we can’t keep waiting
for another lucky accident to just
drop a head in our laps. You know
what we have to do! Hell, it’s just
one lousy girl!
I won’t do it… I can’t
I can’t… kill anyone.
Chris turns toward a DARK, SHADOWY RECESS of the storage room behind them.
(to the shadows)
Please understand. I can’t do that.
Please don’t make me.
VOICE FROM THE SHADOWS
But, you gave me your word… you
promised me, little brother…
THE VOICE slowly steps forward from the shadows.
This big, hulking THING has ONE GREEN EYE AND ONE BROWN EYE. His face – all of him that we can
see – has been stitched together. The guy’s a walking jig-saw puzzle.
Meet DARYL EPPS.
…that I wouldn’t be alone.
END OF ACT TWO
INT. STORAGE ROOM/BASEMENT – CONTINUOUS – DAY
Daryl paces around the cluttered room like a caged animal. Chris leans against a wall, a bit
intimidated. Eric watches Daryl with the pride of a parent watching his offspring.
The body is perfect. And if we
harvest a head tonight, she’ll be
ready by sunrise.
Daryl goes to Chris, crouches down to his brother’s eye level.
When you brought me back, you
promised you’d take care of me. I
need this, Chris. I need someone.
Please don’t ask me to do this.
Don’t ask me to take a life.
I tried to tell him, if you take a
life to make a new life, the whole
thing’s a wash. No harm, no foul.
Maybe you could… you could go out,
let people know —
No! Can’t see me.
His fury is sudden — and suddenly gone. He approaches his brother.
Chris, you’ve always been smarter
than me. You were the brains.
You’re the only one who can do this
Chris stares at him, uncertain. Daryl begins an old chant, one that sounds odd and forlorn down
Third and long, seconds to go,
where do you throw, where do you throw…
Number five, Daryl’s gonna drive.
Help me, brother.
Chris nods silent acquiescence.
Daryl gently kisses the top of Chris’s head, then turns to Eric.
Eric takes his girl pix from his backpack, fans them out on a chest of drawers as Daryl starts leafing
through them. As Eric smiles a malignant smile back toward the still bowed Chris, Daryl selects one
of the photos and hands it to Eric.
(smiles at photo)
A man of taste.
Eric uses scissors to begin cutting the chosen photo of Cordelia.
TALKIN’ ‘BOUT MY GIRL.
INT. LIBRARY – (THAT) AFTERNOON – DAY
Willow is at the computer. Buffy paces, impatient.
Well, I’ve checked the obits.
Nothing that would make for a likely
They’re kinda picky for guys who had
three heads to begin with.
Yes of course. It accelerates neural
decay in the brain cells.
A couple days and they’re useless.
They’re gonna need something really
As fresh as possible…
Buffy, you don’t think they’d…
I think anyone who cuts dead girls
into pieces does not get the benefit
of any doubt. Let’s end this thing.
(to Xander and Willow)
You two head to Eric’s. I’ll try
Chris’s. We can meet back here.
I’m supposed to be at the, uh, the
big game, I believe it’s called.
You go ahead. We can handle this.
Well, I really should —
Okay, we’ll meet up there. Report
The kids start to leave.
Buffy, don’t be too hard on Chris.
I mean, he’s not a vampire…
No. He’s just a ghoul.
INT. CHRIS’S HOUSE – AFTERNOON
As CHRIS’S MOM, with housedress and ever-present cigarette, stands inside the door. She is looking
I’m a friend of Chris’s. Is he home?
Without a word, she turns, waddles away. Buffy steps inside and tentatively looks about her.
Buffy sees a small, musty room where Chris’s mom has already settled back into her well-worn
armchair two feet in front of the television screen, Buffy all but forgotten.
The walls of the room are papered with photos of Daryl in his football uniform, articles about Daryl’s
triumphs clipped from the sports page, Daryl’s framed letter sweaters, etc.
Buffy looks around, takes it all in: Daryl Epps was a good- looking kid who apparently had a full and
And this room is his SHRINE.
(a beat, then)
So… is Chris home?
(points to TV screen)
Westbury game. November 17, 95.
Daryl rushed 185 yards that night –
four TDs. He was MVP and made All
City that season–
Buffy looks at the TV. An amateur videotape of a high school football game plays on screen. A stack
of videotapes labeled with dates and names of opponents sits atop the set.
(a bit wigged)
Yea, that was a great one… but is
I don’t know… is today a school day?
Watch – watch this move. Daryl takes
the kick off, sheds one – two – three
defenders! He breaks into the open
field for a 95 yard touch down.
He would have been nineteen next
week, you know.
Buffy looks down at Chris’s Mom, who has never taken her eyes off the television screen or taken the
cigarette from her lips. After a beat, Buffy starts to back out of the room.
(NOTE: HEATING GRATE OMITTED)
Buffy looks about her, going to head further into the house when she sees the sign:
NO TRESPASSING – KEEP OUT!
One last look to make sure Mom is oblivious, and she opens the door.
INT. BASEMENT/DARYL’S LAIR – SAME TIME – DAY
Dark, deserted looking. Buffy comes down the steps slowly. She scans the room, spots Eric’s GIRL
PHOTOS atop the chest of drawers. She picks them up, starts looking through them. One of the
photos has the head cut off. Then she sees:
A MEDICAL DRAWING
Chris’s work: it’s of a woman’s body, with muscles, joints , all kinds of equations and science type
stuff (English major much?) scribbled all over it. And pasted over the head is the photo of CORDELIA.
BEHIND HER, (right behind her if possible) Daryl emerges from the blackness. Buffy doesn’t see him,
intent upon the drawing:
(under her breath)
Daryl is about to grab her when he HEARS a CREAKING FLOORBOARD upstairs. Footsteps
approaching. Daryl backs into the blackness from whence he came. Buffy looks up towards the cellar
door then leaps, spins off an overhead water pipe and zips out an open clerestory window.
Hold the darkness, finding for a moment Daryl’s tortured face in it.
INT. CHEERLEADING PREP ROOM AT THE STADIUM – NIGHT
The two cheerleaders we saw the night before in the parking lot with Cordelia are dressed and ready.
Cordelia is doing last minute touch-ups at one of the make-up mirrors.
Cordelia, you coming?
I’ll be right out.
The cheerleaders exit, leaving Cordelia alone. She looks in the mirror, then glances down to her
make-up tray. When she looks back up into the mirror again, she sees–
–standing slumped back by the lockers behind her. She jumps, then recognizes him.
Oh, Chris! Hi. God, you scared me.
What are you doing in here?
Chris winces, turns his head as if to avoid seeing something.
Is something wrong…?
THE CLOTH SACK that SLAMS down over Cordelia’s head seems to come out of nowhere.
INT. HALL BY PREP ROOM – SAME TIME – NIGHT
The two cheerleaders head towards double doors, through which we can hear the cheering of a good-
Buffy runs up to them.
Joy, Lisa, where’s Cordelia?
Cordelia’s got a game to think about.
She doesn’t need losers like you —
Buffy slaps a hand against the wall on either side of the first cheerleader’s head, pinning the wide-
I’m sorry… where, did you say?
INT. CHEERLEADING PREP ROOM – MOMENTS LATER – NIGHT
The door collapses as Buffy charges into the room. Eric looks up from tying up the struggling Cordelia
on the floor.
Buffy leaps, heel kicks Eric off her, against a wall. In no mood to fight, he beats a quick retreat out a
Buffy turns back, quickly removes the cloth sack hood from a nearly hysterical Cordelia.
It’s okay, you’re okay. He’s gone.
Oh, my god, Buffy…!
He’s gone. What happened?
I don’t know. I was just about to go
to the field when Chris came in, and
then somebody just jumped me.
Buffy quickly looks around the room. No sign of anyone here.
Well, it’s okay now. You’re fine.
Just relax, take your time…
Cordelia rises, works to compose herself. It looks like this could take awhile. But the sound of the–
–playing the SUNNYDALE FIGHT SONG out on the field drifts into the room, instantly perking
Oh, my god! That’s the fight song.
It’s time for the cheerleader pyramid
at mid-field. I have to go.
You sure you’re okay to go out there?
(sense of duty)
You don’t understand, I have to go.
I’m the apex.
A re-energized Cordelia grabs her pompoms and springs out of the room, leaving Buffy alone. After a
I know what you’re trying to do,
Chris… you and Eric…
A beat. Nothing.
I know about the bodies from the
cemetery. But you haven’t hurt anyone
yet, you can still do the right
Finally, Chris steps from behind the row of lockers.
Buffy sees him. He looks so small at the moment. So tortured. He doesn’t make eye contact with
Listen, I don’t know what it’s like
to lose someone close to you like
your brother, but I know what you’re
trying to do is wrong.
I have to do it for him… He needs
Who, Eric? He needs industrial
He always looked out for me… stood
up for me… he’s all alone…
everybody loved him and now he’s all
Who are you —
Oh my God.
INT. BASEMENT/DARYL’S LAIR – SHORT TIME LATER – NIGHT
A raging Daryl is trashing the place, smashing heavy objects into other heavy objects as Eric stands
back, staying out of harm’s way.
He promised me! Promised!
I wouldn’t have to be alone!
It’s not too late…
A seething Daryl turns on Eric, lifts him by the collar and massively slams him against the wall,
holding him there.
(a glimpse of fear)
Nothing’s changed. We can still do v this. You and me.
Daryl breathes heavily as he doesn’t loosen his grip on Eric. It’s touch and go whether Eric will
Your brother’s not the only one who
can create life… what do you say…?
Then, the fear in Eric’s eyes slowly turns in something darker… a creepy enthusiasm. Daryl lets him
Let’s go scare you up a date.
END OF ACT THREE
INT. BASEMENT/DARYL’S LAIR – SAME TIME – NIGHT
The basement is totally trashed now. Buffy bolts down the stairs, followed by Chris.
Buffy slowly checks through the wreckage, lifting smashed furniture as Chris, in borderline shock,
Okay, he’s not here. Where else could
But he would never go out… Unless…
He’s gonna pick up where you left off.
CLOSE ON: CORDELIA
Leading cheers on the sideline at the football field.
EXT. STADIUM BLEACHERS – SAME TIME – NIGHT
With Giles and Ms. Calendar amongst the fans.
I don’t know what it is about
football that does it for me. It
lacks the grace of basketball and the
poetry of baseball. At its best,
it’s unadorned aggression. It’s just
such a rugged contest…
Rugged? American football?
What’s funny about that?
Well, I do find it odd that a nation
that prides itself on its virility
feels compelled to strap on forty
pounds of protective gear just to
Is this your normal strategy for a
first date: dissing my country’s
(a beat, then)
Did you say… “date”?
You noticed that, huh?
But before the silly, schoolboy grin has a chance to spread all the way across Giles’ face–
Hi, Ms. Calendar. Hey, Giles.
Hey, look. Willow and Xander have joined us!
Hi, guys. What’s up?
Buffy get back yet?
But perhaps you should circulate down
nearer the field to find her.
Eric’s was a bust. Nothing there.
Yeah, nothing but a lot of computer
equipment and a pornography
collection so prodigious it even
And, to Giles’ chagrin, Xander and Willow settle in for the duration. It’s become a date with children.
So… what’s the score?
STRANGE NEW ANGLE ON: THE FOOTBALL FIELD – NIGHT
At ground level. The SOUNDS of the CROWD, the BANDS, the REFEREES’ WHISTLES and the
GRUNTING and TACKLING of the PLAYERS are strangely muted here as we look out beyond the
CHEERLEADERS and BENCHWARMERS to the excitement of the game just beyond. We are–
UNDER THE BLEACHERS OF THE FOOTBALL STADIUM – NIGHT
In the dark and shadowy web of metal crossbeams that stripe the cavity below the thousands of
Daryl watches the High School football game through the slotted openings and legs of the paying
He’s mesmerized by the deja vu sights and sounds of the stadium. This used to be his world. He
drinks in every sensory image.
There’s a Phantom of the Opera quality to his reaction.
REVERSE ANGLE: ON THE CHEERLEADERS – NIGHT
As they face the bleachers, urging the home team on.
At the end of the cheer, Cordelia crosses to a cooler near the edge of the bleachers and draws a
paper cup of water.
Daryl GRABS her, jerking her into the dark below the stands.
Her SCREAM is absorbed by the CHEER of the stadium full of people as the Razorbacks score a
touchdown on the field.
EXT. BY THE STANDS – MINUTES LATER – NIGHT
Buffy and Chris move quickly toward the far end, where the Sunnydale Cheerleaders are finishing a
But as they draw near, it becomes apparent that Cordelia is not among the leaping and cheering
I don’t see her. Do you?
INT. LAB (OLD SCIENCE BUILDING) – NIGHT
The gutted room with boarded up windows still bears the carbon streaks from the fire a year earlier.
The sheet-draped Body is now joined by a second table. Cordelia (blindfolded) is thrown on it by
Daryl. Eric straps her in immediately.
Please… what’s going on… take off
the blindfold, I won’t scream, I
Eric turns to see Daryl, his back to Cordelia, lifting the sheet to check out the inanimate, piecemeal
No! It’s bad luck for the groom to
see the bride before the wedding.
Eric hastily crosses to Daryl.
Please… just take off the
blindfold, I promise I won’t —
Daryl removes the blindfold. Cordelia takes one look at him and screams bloody murder.
You can scream all you want – we’re
in an abandoned building…
(scream continues; he
picks up a blunt
okay, that’s enough.
Daryl just looks at Cordelia with his sad, mangled eyes.
You were always good to me. Always
noticed me, but I ignored you. I’m
sorry. I’m glad that I got this
second chance to tell you that.
I was thoughtless, I know that now.
But I’ve changed, I’ve learned to
appreciate how much it meant that you
wanted to be with me.
Ready? Ready for what?!
You’re going to feel a little pinch,
maybe a little discomfort around the
neck area. But when you wake up,
you’ll have the body of a seventeen
year old. In fact…
Eric lifts the sheet so that Cordelia can see the Body on the adjacent table. (We’re angled so we can’t
…you’ll have the body of several.
EXT. STADIUM BLEACHERS – SAME TIME – NIGHT
Buffy runs right behind the cheerleaders to Cordelia’s place. She spots the two POMPOMS lying on
the ground several feet away at the edge of the bleachers…
He was here. Chris, where did he
To the rest of the body. To the lab.
Where is that?
I promised him…
He’ll kill Cordelia.
You can’t just give and take lives
like that. It’s not your job.
Chris looks up at Buffy. This hits home.
Please try not to hurt him. He’s in
the old science building. Everything
is set up there.
Okay, find Willow and Xander and Mr.
Giles. Tell them what’s going on.
Buffy heads off. Chris watches her for a beat, worried about his brother, then moves off.
INT. LAB (OLD SCIENCE BUILDING) – NIGHT
Eric finishes pouring gas from a five gallon drum into the generator. He turns on the generator. All
around the room, jerry- rigged machines hum to life. Eric holds a surgical saw over a bunsen burner.
Daryl, please… you don’t have to
I have to. So we can be together.
We can be together anyway. I’ll be
with you. I promise.
He leans in to Cordelia. She can’t help looking away.
Is that right? You see anything you
He turns away, to the unfinished girl.
When you’re finished, you won’t go
out. You won’t go away. We’ll hide
Tears start to flow down Cordelia’s face.
Eric pulls the shiny surgical saw out of the flame, steps forward.
Sterile enough for government work…
He lowers the blade towards Cordelia’s neck. Cordelia SCREAMS.
Just as the door CRASHES open and Buffy steps inside.
Buffy! Help me!
As Buffy looks down at Cordelia, Eric heaves the surgical saw across at her. Buffy neatly catches it by
the handle in midair.
Eric, ever the coward, flees into a corner, ducking. Buffy ignores him, turns to Daryl
Daryl, listen, I know who you are.
Your brother sent me to stop this.
He wouldn’t do that. He loves me.
Buffy, they’re crazy!
It’s okay, Cordelia, I’m getting you
out of here.
No, I’m not finished with her.
Daryl picks up another blade from the surgical tray, starts toward Cordelia. Buffy runs, somersaults
over the table with the Body, kicking Daryl back and away from Cordelia.
He’s up again in an instant. He punches Buffy hard – she goes back into the gurney, sends it rolling
across the room.
It hits the gas can and generator — the can topples, spilling gas.
I won’t live alone!
At that moment, Eric makes a break for the door. Daryl grabs him by the scruff of the neck.
You have to help me!
Furious, Daryl hurls Eric into the wall by the door, knocking him unconscious.
Buffy starts toward Cordelia again, but Daryl lunges at her.
She catches him with a roundhouse kick that sends him reeling. He plows into a table, knocking the
bunsen burner to the ground.
ANGLE: THE POOL OF GAS
As the bunsen burner flame ignites it, setting a fire in the middle of the room.
Xander runs in, susses the sitch.
He goes to the gurney, skirting around the flames. He starts to untie Cordelia —
Daryl grabs a huge bottle of chemicals and hurls it at Buffy. She ducks but the chemicals hit the wall
and burst into flame, creating a wall of fire, cutting Xander and Cordelia off from the door.
Buffy rains blows on Daryl
ANGLE: THE DOOR
The rest of the group arrive. They react to the carnage and flames. No way can they get to Xander
and Cordelia on the gurney. Willow and Giles pull the unconscious Eric out of the room.
Xander looks around, thinking. He grabs the gurney, gives it a massive shove–
–then dives on top of Cordelia as the table rolls back through the wall of flames (saving her life) and
to the door with Giles and the others.
Buffy, get out!
But Daryl strikes again, knocking her against a wall. He picks up a student desk, to bash Buffy’s head
Daryl looks across at his brother standing in the doorway. Looks down at Buffy, some remaining
human instinct preventing him from unloading the desk.
Then he looks across through the fire to see the flames whirling up around the sheet covered Body.
No! She’s mine!
Daryl barrels into the fire, which quickly engulfs him as he falls onto the sheet-covered Body to shield
it from the flames.
Chris bolts toward his brother, but Buffy grabs him, wraps him up, holds him back.
ANGLE ON: THE FLAMES
As the photo chemicals fuel the conflagration to greater intensity. Daryl is draped over the Body,
motionless now as the fire engulfs them.
EXT. SCHOOL GROUNDS – LATER – NIGHT
We see most of the combatants, bathed in fire trucks’ flashing lights. The fire seems to be over by
ANGLE: CHRIS AND BUFFY
Are staring at the old science building together. After a time…
The first time he woke up, after…
he said I shouldn’t have brought him
back. I was just trying to look out
for him. Like he would have done for
Buffy decides against saying anything. Just puts her hand on his shoulder.
Angel approaches, goes up to Buffy, concerned.
I saw the fire, figured you’d be
here. Is everyone okay?
Yeah. We’re okay.
ANGLE ON GILES AND MS. CALENDAR:
I am sorry about all this.
That’s okay. Although a good rule of
thumb for a first date is don’t do
anything so exciting that it will be
hard to top on the second date.
Believe it or not, since I’ve moved
here to live on top of the Hellmouth,
the events of this evening actually
qualify as a slow night.
Did you say, “second date”?
Ah, you noticed that too?
ANGLE ON: XANDER AND WILLOW
As they watch Buffy and Angel, Giles and Ms. Calendar together.
Well, I guess that makes it official.
Everyone’s paired off. Vampires can
get dates. Hell, even the school
librarian is seeing more action than
(shakes his head)
You ever feel like the world is a
giant game of musical chairs, and the
music has stopped and you’re the only
one who doesn’t have a chair?
Cordelia steps up behind the two, summons her nerve.
All the time.
Xander, I, uh, just wanted to say
thanks for saving my life in there.
It was… really brave and heroic and
all. And if there’s ever anything I
can do to repay you…
Do you mind? We’re talking here.
Cordelia reacts, turns and crossing off.
So, where were we?
Wondering why we never seem to have
Oh, yeah. So, why do you think that
EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT
Buffy and Angel walk along together.
The whole thing was creepy. But at
the same time… I mean, he did do it
all for his brother…
Sounds like he took it a little over
Love makes you do the wacky…
Oh. Crazy like a 241 year old being
jealous of a high school junior?
Are you fessing up?
I thought about it. Maybe he bothers
me a little.
Buffy turns, close to Angel.
I don’t love Xander.
But he’s in your life. He gets to be
there when I can’t. Take your
classes, eat your meals, hear your
jokes and complaints. He gets to see
you in the sunlight.
I don’t look all that great in direct
He half-smiles at that, looks out into the sky a moment.
It’ll be morning soon. I should
…yeah. I’ve got things to…
She looks up at him for a beat. A little despair coursing through both of them.
I could walk you home…
He holds out his hand. She takes it. They walk off.
The camera holds them a while, until a headstone comes into the foreground and we focus on that,
the camera finally settling. The headstone reads:
1978 – 1996
REST IN PEACE
END OF SHOW
In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against
the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.
The cemetery. Buffy is sitting on top of the gravestone of Stephan
Korshak playing with her yo-yo.
Buffy: C’mon, Stephan, rise and shine. Some of us have a ton of trig
The camera cuts to her right and approaches her from behind.
Buffy inhales a quick startled breath and turns around to face her
Angel: Is this a bad time?
Buffy: Are you crazy? You don’t just sneak up on people in a graveyard.
You make noise when you walk. You stomp or… yodel.
Angel: I heard you were on the hunt.
Buffy: I’m supposed to be, but… lazy bones here doesn’t wanna come
out and play.
Angel: When you first wake up it’s a little disorienting. He’ll show.
Buffy: It’s weird to think of you going through that.
Angel: It’s weird to go through. So, uh, you’re here alone?
Buffy: Yeah! Why?
Angel: I just thought you’d have somebody with you. Xander or someone.
Angel: Or someone.
Buffy: Nope. (hops down off the gravestone) Why? Are you jealous?
Angel: (chuckles) Of Xander? Please. He’s just a kid.
Buffy: Is it ’cause I danced with him?
Angel: ‘Danced with’ is a pretty loose term. ‘Mated with’ might be a
Buffy: Don’t you think you’re being a little unfair? It was one little
dance, which I only did to make you crazy, by the way. Behold my
Angel: I am not jealous.
Buffy: You’re not jealous? What, vampires don’t get jealous?
Stephan has come out of the ground, and looks at them from behind his
Angel: See? Whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing.
Buffy: Well, I didn’t come here to fight.
The vampire lunges at her and knocks her into Angel. They fall to the
ground, but Buffy quickly gets up.
Buffy: Oh, right, I did.
Stephan throws a few punches which Buffy easily blocks. She punches him
in the face several times and kicks him in the jaw, sending him
stumbling into a large adjacent gravestone. She looks around
Buffy: Where’s my stake? I-I know I had a stake!
Angel: I didn’t see a stake!
The vampire grabs a shovel that was lying by the other gravestone and
comes at them again. Angel attacks, but Stephan brings the shovel up and
hits him in the side of the face, knocking him onto his back. He leaves
Angel lying there and steps toward Buffy. She meets him and jumps over
the shovel when Stephan swings it at her legs. He swings it at her
again, but she catches it, hits him again and breaks the handle. She
spins around with her half and jams the broken handle into his chest. He
falls over backward and bursts into ashes as he hits the ground. Angel
gets up holding the side of his head.
Buffy: (out of breath) What do you mean he’s just a kid? Does that mean
I’m just a kid, too?
Angel: Look, obviously I made a mistake coming here tonight. (turns and
Buffy: Oh, no you don’t. You can’t just turn and walk away from me like
that. (starts following him determinedly) It takes more than that to get
rid of me.
She falls into an open grave with an open and empty coffin at the
Buffy: Oof! Uhhh…
Angel comes over and bends down to look.
Angel: You okay?
Buffy: I’m fine. (sits up and exhales) Gee, I wish people wouldn’t
leave open graves laying around like this. (stands up slowly)
Angel: So. Another vampire has risen tonight.
She pokes her head out of the grave and looks across the grass.
Buffy: I don’t think so. Look at those tracks. Whoever was buried here
didn’t rise from this grave.
She climbs out of the grave and finds a girl’s shoe.
Buffy: She was dragged from it.
Opening credits roll. Buffy’s theme plays.
~ ~ Part 1 ~ ~
Sunnydale High School. Cut to the library. Buffy and Xander walk in and
see Giles sitting in a chair and talking to another empty chair across
Giles: (clears his throat) W-w-w-what I’m proposing is, um… and I-I
don’t mean to appear indecorous, is, is, um, a, a-a-a social engagement,
um, a, a, a, a-a date, if you’re amenable.
Buffy and Xander stop and listen to him. Giles is displeased with
Giles: You idiot!
Giles is startled and quickly gets up and faces them.
Buffy: I guess we never realized how much you like that chair.
Giles: I-I-I was just working on… (knocks over a few books)
Buffy: Your pickup lines?
Giles: (bends down) Um, in a manner of speaking, yes. (picks up the
Buffy: Then if you wouldn’t mind a little Gene and Roger, you might
wanna leave off the ‘idiot’ part. Being called an idiot tends to take
people out of the dating mood.
Xander: Hmm, it actually kinda turns me on. (looks at Buffy)
Buffy: (to Xander) I fear you. (goes to the table) You also might wanna
avoid words like ‘amenable’ and ‘indecorous’, y’know. Speak English, not
whatever they speak in, um…
Buffy: Yeah. You just say, ‘Hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing,
maybe we could have a thing.’
Giles: (sarcastically) Oh, thank you, Cyrano.
Buffy: I’m not finished. Then you say, ‘How do you feel about Mexican?’
Giles: About Mexicans?
Buffy: Mexican. Food. You take her for food, for which you then pay.
(sits at the table)
Giles: Oh. Right.
Xander: So this chair-woman. We are talking Ms. Calendar, right?
Giles: W-what makes you think that?
Xander: (sits) Simple deduction. Ms. Calendar is reasonably dollsome,
especially for someone in your age bracket. She already knows that
you’re a school librarian, so you don’t have to worry about how to break
that embarrassing news to her.
Buffy: And she’s the only woman we’ve actually ever seen speak to you.
Add it all up and it all spells ‘duh’.
Xander: Now, is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?
Giles: You know, I’m suddenly deciding this is none of your business.
(starts up the stairs)
Xander: Y’know, because that whole stork thing is a smoke screen.
Giles stops and looks back at him. Buffy laughs to herself.
Giles: So, um, how did things go last night? Did Mr. Korshak show up on
Buffy: More or less. Angel and I took care of him.
Buffy: (gives Xander a look) There’s something else, though. We found
an empty grave.
Giles: Another vampire?
Buffy: No. No, this one was dug up and the body was taken out.
Giles: Grave robbing? That’s new. Interesting. (comes back down to the
Buffy: I know you meant to say gross and disturbing.
Giles: Yes, yes, yes of course. Uh, terrible thing. Must, must put a
stop to it. Damn it.
Xander: So. Why does someone want to dig up graves?
Giles: Well, I’ll, uh, collect some theories. Uh, it would help if we
knew who the body belonged to.
Buffy: Meredith Todd. Ring a bell?
Buffy: She died recently. She was our age.
Xander: Drawin’ a blank.
Giles: Why don’t we ask Willow to, uh, fire (indicates the PC) this
thing up and, uh, track Meredith down?
Cut to the halls. Sign-ups for the science fair are going on. Willow is
writing in her entry. Eric comes up to her with a camera and points it
Eric: Smile! (takes her picture)
He turns around and sees another girl.
Eric: Oh, look at those legs! (goes to take her picture)
Willow: No, thank you.
Chris comes up behind Willow.
Chris: Eric, will you knock it off?
Eric looks at him, upset to have his fun spoiled.
Willow: (smiles) Hey, Chris!
He picks up a sign-up sheet. She watches what he’s writing. He looks up
Willow: Oh, I, I was just wondering what you were gonna do this year.
Willow: ‘Cause every year you win and I place second, so I just thought
I’d see what I’m up against.
Chris: You know what the key is? If Dr. Clark doesn’t understand your
experiment he gives you higher marks so it looks like he understands
your experiment. (reads Willow’s entry) ‘The Effects of Sub-Violet Light
Spectrum Deprivation on the Development of Fruit Flies’? (smirks) That
should do the trick.
Cordelia: (shows up and signs up) Okay, I’m doing this under protest.
It is not fair that they’re making participation in this year’s science
fair mandatory. I don’t think anyone should have to do anything
educational in school if they don’t want to.
Willow: (reads) ‘The Tomato: Fruit or Vegetable’?
Cordelia: I wanted to do something I could finish in a weekend,
Eric flashes a picture of Cordelia.
Cordelia: Stop it! What are you doing? (Eric takes another picture) We
are under florescent light, for God’s sake.
Eric: The camera loves you!
Cordelia: I didn’t think yearbook nerds came out of hibernation till
Eric: (snaps another picture) It’s for my private collection. (winks)
Chris: Eric! Will you quit it?
Buffy: Comin’ through. Sorry. (Eric takes her picture) Uh, sorry to
interrupt, Willow, but it’s the Bat Signal.
Willow: Okay, sure. See you later, Chris. Thanks for the tip.
Cordelia watches them go. Eric raises his eyebrows at her.
Cordelia: (disgusted) Uhhh! (leaves)
Eric: Cordelia’s so fine. Y’know, she’d be just perfect for us.
Chris: Don’t be an idiot. She’s alive.
Cut to the library. Willow sits down in front of the PC.
Willow: This shouldn’t take long. I’m probably the only girl in school
who has the coroner’s office bookmarked as a favorite place.
Cordelia: (coming in) Hi. Sorry to interrupt your little undead
playgroup, but I need to ask Willow if she’ll help me with my science
Willow: It’s a fruit.
Cordelia: I would’ve asked Chris to help me, but then that would’ve
brought back too many memories of Daryl.
Willow: I found it! Meredith Todd died in a car accident last week.
Cordelia: Of course I have learned to deal with my pain.
Buffy: How was her neck?
Willow: Fine, except for being broken.
Giles comes out of his office.
Cordelia: Hello! Can we deal with my pain, please?
Giles: There, there.
He pats her on the shoulder and continues up into the stacks.
Willow: It says that Meredith and two other girls in the car were
killed instantly. They were all on the Fondren High Pep Squad, on the
way to a game.
Buffy: You know what this means.
Xander: That Fondren might actually beat Sunnydale in the cross-town
body count competition this year?
Buffy: She wasn’t killed by vampires. Somebody did dig up her corpse.
Cordelia: Eww! Why is it that every conversation you people have has
the word ‘corpse’ in it?
Xander: Okay, so we got a body snatcher. What does that mean?
Giles: Uh, h-here’s what I’ve come up with. Demons who eat the flesh of
the dead to absorb their souls. Or, i-i-it could obviously be a, a
Willow: You mean making a zombie?
Giles: Uh, zombies, more likely. For most traditional purposes a voodoo
priest would require more than one.
Buffy: So, we should see if the other girls from the accident are AWOL,
too. Maybe we can figure out what this creep has in mind if we know
whether or not he’s dealing in volume.
Xander: So, we dig up some graves tonight?
Willow: Oh, boy! A field trip! Are you gonna call Angel?
Buffy: I don’t think so.
Xander: Yeah, why bother him, huh?
Buffy: Angel and I have been, um… Never mind. As far as Angel’s
concerned, I’m taking the night off, okay?
Xander: So, we’re set then. Say, nineish? BYO shovel?
Willow: And I’ll pack some food. Who else likes those little powdered
Cordelia: Darn, I have cheerleader practice tonight. Boy, I wish I knew
we were gonna be digging up dead people sooner. I would’ve canceled.
Xander: Alright, but if you come across the army of zombies, can you
page us before they eat your flesh?
Cordelia huffs and leaves the library.
Giles: Zombies don’t eat the flesh of the living.
Xander: Yeah, I knew that. But did you see the look on her face?
Cut to the cemetery that night. Giles and Xander are digging while Buffy
and Willow relax and watch.
Buffy: I couldn’t believe Angel. He was acting all jealous, and he
wouldn’t even admit it.
Willow: Jealous of what?
Buffy: Of Xander.
Willow: Because you did that sexy dance with him?
Buffy: Am I ever gonna live that down?
Willow: No. (munches a doughnut)
Buffy: Anyway, he was being totally irrational.
Willow: Love makes you do the wacky.
Buffy: That’s the truth.
Xander: Y’know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually
picked up a shovel, too.
Giles: Here, here.
Buffy: Sorry, but I’m an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe
that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies. (to Willow)
So, speaking of the wacky, what was Cordelia’s whole riff about painful
memories? Who’s Daryl?
Willow: Daryl Epps. Chris’ older brother. He was a big football star.
All-State two years ago. He was a running… He was a running… Uh,
someone who runs and catches.
Buffy: Was he a studly?
Willow: Big time. All of the girls were crazy for him.
Buffy: And he broke Cordy’s heart? Thus possibly proving its existence.
Willow: He died. Rock climbing or something? He fell.
Buffy: Man, that’s lousy. Poor Chris.
Willow: Ever since then Chris has been real quiet. Kind of in his own
world. I heard their mother doesn’t even leave the house anymore.
Giles: I think we’re there.
Buffy and Willow get up and go over to the grave.
Willow: By the way, are we hoping to find a body, or no body?
Xander: Call me an optimist, but I’m hoping to find a fortune in gold
Giles: Um, body would mean flesh-eating demon, no body would point
towards the, uh, army of zombies thing. Take your pick, really. Right,
then, uh… (to Xander) Go on. (indicates the casket)
Xander: You’re closer.
Buffy: Pathetic much? (climbs down) Move over.
She opens the casket.
Cut to the school after cheerleading practice. The cheerleaders are
Cordelia: Guys, if we don’t get this down by tomorrow, no one’s gonna
be led by our cheers. Practice.
Girl: Okay. See ya later.
Cordelia continues on to her own car as the others get in theirs. They
drive off before Cordelia reaches her car. She hears something by the
fence and stops to look around.
She continues to her car and starts to dig in her pack for her keys. She
gets them out and runs the rest of the way to her car. She nervously
fumbles with the lock.
Cordelia: Xander Harris, if this is some kind of joke…
She drops her keys and they roll under the car. She kneels down and
reaches for them frantically. On the other side of her car she can see
someone in black shoes approaching. She quickly gets up and starts to
run. The man follows her. He walks past a dumpster. When he’s gone the
lid opens, and Cordelia checks to see if the coast is clear. She pushes
the lid up all the way, then turns around again to hop out, but is
startled by Angel.
Angel: Cordelia. This is the last place I expected you to hang out.
Cordelia: (quietly) Oh, God! God, it’s you. Why were you following me?
Angel: I wasn’t sure it was you at first. I’m looking for Buffy.
Cordelia: Buffy? Well, she’s, uh… big shock, she’s at the graveyard.
Angel: She said she’d be home.
Cordelia: Well, she lied. Isn’t she a rascal? Well, you’re in luck. It
just so happens that my night is free. (tries to get out) Uh, hold on,
my skirt is caught.
She reaches behind her and gets her skirt loose.
She picks up what was holding her skirt and sees it’s a hand. She drops
it and screams.
~ ~ Part 2 ~ ~
The library. Xander can be heard outside in the hall.
Xander: So, both coffins are empty. That makes three girls signed up
for the army of zombies.
They come in through the doors.
Willow: Is it an army if you just have three?
Angel gets up from the table and faces them. Cordelia clings to his arm
and gets up, too.
Buffy: Zombie drill team then.
Angel: You’re back.
Angel: (to Buffy) I thought you were takin’ the night off.
Buffy: I, I was, um, but something came up.
Angel: Cordelia told me the truth.
Xander: (chuckles) That’s gotta be a first.
Giles: Um, as long as you’re here, perhaps you could be of some help.
Hmm? (to Buffy) Hmm?
Buffy: We were investigating. Somebody’s been digging up the bodies of
Angel: I know. We found some of them.
Buffy: You mean, like, two of the three?
Angel: I mean, like, some of them. Like parts.
Cordelia: It was horrible. Angel saved me from an arm. God, there were
so many parts, they were everywhere. Why are these terrible things
always happening to me?
Xander: Karma! (coughs to cover it)
Willow: So much for our zombie theory.
Giles: So much for all our theories.
Buffy: I don’t get it. Why go to all the trouble to dig up three girls
only to chop them up and throw them away? It doesn’t make any sense.
Especially from a time management standpoint.
Angel: Well, what I saw didn’t add up to three whole girls. I think
they kept some parts.
Buffy: Could this get yuckier?
Willow: They probably kept the other parts to eat.
Buffy: Question answered.
Giles: Why dispose of the remains five miles from the cemetery at a
school, of all places?
Buffy: Maybe because whoever did it had some business in the
neighborhood. Like, say, classes?
Giles: Oh. Ah.
Angel: This was no hatchet job. Whoever made those incisions really
knew what they were doing.
Giles: (disbelieving) Yes, really. What student here is gonna be that
well versed in physiology?
Willow: Well, I can think of five or six guys in the science club. And
Xander: So, Will, come clean. Promise to never do it again, and we’ll
call it a night. (no response) He joked! (smiles)
Buffy: Willow, why don’t you get these guys’ locker numbers so we can
do some checking?
Cordelia: No. I have to go home now. I have to take a bath and burn my
Xander: (in mock disappointment) You have to go? Aw, too bad. Keep in
Cordelia: I don’t wanna go alone. I’m still fragile. (to Angel) Can you
Angel is in open-mouthed shock, and looks at Buffy. She gives him a
stare of disapproval.
Cordelia: Great! I’ll drive?
She leads the way out of the library as Angel gives Buffy another
Xander: How about that? I always pegged him as a one-woman vampire.
Cut to Chris’ house. His mother is sitting in front of the TV watching
videos of Daryl’s games. His trophy sits on top of the TV. Chris comes
out of the basement.
Chris: I’m going out, Mom.
She doesn’t even look up. She just blows out another lungful of
cigarette smoke. Chris walks over to the front door.
Chris: I’ll be back later, okay? Mom?
Still no response. She takes another drag from her cigarette. Chris lets
out a sigh of frustration and leaves the house. On the video Daryl just
scored a touchdown, and the team is holding him up high as the
cheerleaders jump and wave their pompoms.
Video: Dar-yl! Dar-yl! Dar-yl! Dar-yl! Dar-yl!
Daryl takes his helmet off and holds his fists up in the air, laughing
and enjoying the moment.
Cut to the halls at school. Xander is working a locker combination from
a list. Giles comes down the other hall.
Giles: You understand, in my capacity as school official, this search
is completely unauthorized, and I, I cannot condone it.
Buffy: Fine, your butt’s covered. Wanna grab a locker? (hands him a
Giles: Uh, yes, yes, of course. (takes the sheet)
Buffy: (approaches a locker) Okay, Eric. Let’s see what’s on your
annoying little mind.
Willow: (at another locker) Nothing in here but back issues of
Scientific American. Ooo, I haven’t read this one! (starts to read)
Giles: Nothing remarkable here.
Xander: (opens one) Guys!
They all go over to see.
Xander: Your friend Chris Epps’ locker.
Willow: (reads off book titles) ‘Grey’s Anatomy’, ‘Mortician’s Desk
Reference’, ‘Robicheaux’s Guide to Muscles and Tendons’.
Giles reaches in and pulls out a newspaper folded open to a picture of
the three cheerleaders. The title above the picture reads ‘Tragic
Accident Kills Three’.
Giles: I think it’s fair to say Chris is involved.
Xander: He’s into corpses alright, but we still don’t know why.
Buffy: Yes, we do.
She opens Eric’s locker door and shows them a collage of a woman made
from parts of various pictures.
Cut to Chris’ basement. Eric sings while Chris works on a body.
Eric: I guess you’ll say / What can make me feel this way? / My girl /
Talkin’ ’bout my girl / My girl… How’s my baby?
Chris: She’s not your baby.
Eric: She’s not gonna be anybody’s baby if we don’t finish her soon.
Chris: I’m working on it.
Eric: So am I, friend. So am I.
He hangs up freshly developed pictures of Buffy, Willow and Cordelia to
Cut to the balcony. Buffy comes up to Willow and Xander sitting on the
Xander: Any sign of our suspects?
Buffy: Not yet. I don’t get it. Why would anybody wanna make a girl?
Xander: You mean when there’s so many pre-made ones just laying around?
The things we do for love.
Buffy: Love has nothing to do with this.
Xander: Maybe not, but I’ll tell you this: people don’t fall in love
with what’s right in front of them.
Willow gives Buffy a sad, knowing look.
Xander: People want the dream. What they can’t have.
Willow looks over at Xander longingly. Buffy understands only too well.
Xander: The more unattainable, the more attractive.
Willow hops down from her perch.
Willow: And for Eric the unattainable would include everyone. That’s
She walks around Xander to head down the stairs. Buffy joins her.
Buffy: Uh, Eric’s sick enough to do something like this, but what about
Chris? He seems like a human person.
Xander follows them.
Willow: I dunno. That thing with his brother was really hard on him.
And he talked about death a lot. Maybe he just wanted to get one-up on
Buffy: But it’s not doable. I mean, making someone from scraps,
actually making them live.
Willow: If it is, my science project’s definitely coming in second this
Xander: (spots Giles) And speaking of love…
Willow: We were talking about the re-animation of dead tissue.
Xander: Do I deconstruct your segues?
Buffy: (to Giles) Hey.
Giles: (distracted) Oh! Yes. Hello.
Buffy: Still no sign of our mad doctors?
Giles: What? Oh! Uh, corpses, yes. Evil. Huh. Very good.
They see Jenny stop and talk to a student.
Jenny: Did you bring it? (the student shakes his head) Tomorrow.
Student: I forgot it.
Giles: Very, very good.
Buffy: Okay, Giles, just remember, ‘I feel a thing, you feel a
thing…’ But personalize it.
Giles: Personalize it?
Buffy: She’s a technopagan, right? Ask her to bless your laptop.
(starts to leave) Have fun.
Willow and Xander smile. Willow pats him on the shoulder and goes too.
Giles: What? Oh! Don’t…
Xander: Best of luck. (follows the girls)
Jenny: (walks by) Good morning, Rupert. (continues without stopping)
Giles: Uh, Ms. Calendar?
Jenny: (looks at him but keeps going) Oh, no, please call me Jenny. Ms.
Calendar’s my father.
Giles: (follows) Jenny, then.
Cut inside the halls. They walk together.
Giles: You know, uh, Jenny, um…
Giles: Would it a-appear indecorous… Uh, no, not in-in-indecorous,
Giles: Well, um… Wha… (exhales) Ah, ah, um…
Jenny: Rupert, look, I’ve gotta get inside and set up the lab.
Giles: What, what I’m proposing is…
The bell rings.
Jenny: Ah! I gotta go! Sorry! (goes into her room)
Giles: (to himself) You idiot!
Jenny: (sticks her head back out) Hey! Listen, if it’s important, why
don’t you just tell me at the game?
Giles: Game? Oh, uh, you’re going to the football game?
Jenny: Yeah, you seem surprised. (smiles)
Giles: No! No, I-I-I-I-I-I just assumed that you, you, you spent your
evenings downloading incantations and, and, and casting bones.
Jenny: On game night? Are you nuts? You’re going, too, right?
Giles: Oh, of course. Always, always do.
Jenny: So, we should just go together! Look, I could pick you up after
school, and we’ll grab a bite to eat on the way if you like. How do you
feel about Mexican?
Jenny: Good! Okay! And whatever it is you wanna tell me, you can just
tell me then. Okay?
Giles: Okay! Tonight, then.
Jenny smiles and goes back into her classroom.
Giles: (to himself) That went well. I think.
Cut to the science classroom. Willow is looking through a book.
Willow: I still don’t get how Chris could do it. I mean, arresting the
cell deterioration is one thing, but…
Xander: Hello! (holds up a visible head) I wanna get ahead.
Willow: (exhales) Maybe an electrical current combined with an
Xander: For the love of God, can somebody scratch my nose?
Buffy: (comes into the room) Well, it’s official. Chris and Eric didn’t
come to school today.
Xander: That’s no coincidence.
Willow: Maybe they finished their project.
Buffy: God! What if it worked? What, what if that poor girl is walking
Xander: Poor girls, technically.
Buffy: What could she be thinking?
Willow: And what are they gonna do with her?
Giles: (comes in also) I don’t think we need to worry about that just
yet. I spoke to a press person this morning about the remains. The
police have finished sorting through them, and apparently they found
three heads in the dumpster.
Buffy: They only had three girls.
Willow: So, they don’t have the whole, uh, package?
Xander: Heads must be no good. Huh. I found ’em attractive enough.
(gets looks from the girls) Well, obviously I’m not as sick as Chris and
Giles: Based on what the police have put together, I would say they’re
one step short of completing their masterpiece.
Willow: One step.
The camera pans around the visible head.
Cut to Chris’ basement.
Eric: We’re running out of time. If we wait too long, the onset of
atrophy in the limbs will be irreversible.
Chris: We can turn up the current. That’ll buy us a day, at least.
Eric: We will lose the entire body if we don’t attach a head soon.
Chris: We have time.
Eric: We don’t! The crash with the girls was lucky. But we can’t just
keep waiting around for another lucky accident to drop a head in our
laps. You know what we have to do. Hell, it’s just one lousy girl.
Chris: I won’t do it. I… I can’t… kill anyone. (turns to the
shadows) Please! Understand. I… I can’t do that! Please don’t make me.
Daryl: But you gave me your word. You promised me, little brother.
(comes into the light) That I wouldn’t be alone.
His face is discolored and criss-crossed with stitches.
~ ~ Part 3 ~ ~
Eric: The body is perfect. And if we harvest a head tonight, she’ll be
ready by sunrise.
Daryl: When you brought me back you promised you’d take care of me. I
need this, Chris. I need someone.
Chris: Please don’t ask me to do this. Don’t ask me to take a life.
Eric: I tried to tell him. If you take a life in order to make a life,
the whole thing is a wash. No harm, no foul.
Chris: Maybe you could… you could go out…
Chris: Let people know.
Daryl: They can’t see me. Chris, you’ve always been smarter than me.
You were always the brains. You’re the only one who can help me now.
Third and long, seconds to go. Where do you throw? Where do you throw?
Chris: Number five. Daryl’s gonna drive.
Daryl: Help me, brother.
Chris nods. Daryl hugs him.
Daryl: Thank you. (to Eric) Show me!
Eric shows Daryl the pictures.
Daryl: (points) This one.
Eric: Ha, ha. A man of taste.
He grabs a pair of scissors and cuts around Cordelia’s hair.
Eric: (sings) My girl / Talkin’ ’bout my girl / My girl
He snips her head off.
Cut to the library.
Willow: I checked the obits. Nothing that would make for a likely
Xander: They seem kinda picky for guys who had three heads to begin
Giles: Formaldehyde. Yes, yes, yes, yes, of course, it accelerates
neural decay in the brain cells.
Willow: After a couple days they’re useless. They’re gonna need
something really fresh.
Buffy: How fresh?
Willow: As fresh as possible. Buffy, you don’t think that they would…
Buffy: I think anybody who cuts dead girls into little pieces does not
get the benefit of any doubt. I wanna end this thing now.
Giles: I second that.
Buffy: Okay, fine. You guys go to Eric’s, we can go to Chris’, and meet
Giles: (remembering) Oh! I’m supposed to be at the big game, I-I
believe it’s called.
Buffy: Fine. Go ahead. We’ll take care of this.
Giles: Well, yes, but shouldn’t I, I-I, um…
Buffy: Okay, then why don’t, uh, we all meet there?
Giles: Fine. Yes.
Willow: Buffy? Don’t be too hard on Chris. I mean, he’s not a vampire.
Buffy: No. He’s just a ghoul.
They leave the library.
Cut to Chris’ house. His mother answers the door for Buffy.
Buffy: Hi. Um, I’m a friend of Chris’. I kinda need to talk to him. Uh,
do you know if he’s home?
Chris’ Mom goes back inside and sits down again. Buffy comes in and
closes the door.
Buffy: So, is he home?
Mrs. Epps: Westbury game. November 17, ’95. Daryl rushed 185 yards that
night. Four TD’s. He was MVP, and he made All-City that season.
Buffy: Yeah, that was a great one. Um, but is Chris home?
Mrs. Epps: I dunno. Is today a school day? Oh, watch! Watch this move!
Daryl takes a kickoff, he sheds one, two, three defenders, and he breaks
into the open field for a ninety-five yard touchdown!
Buffy sees the basement door with its ‘Keep Out’ and ‘No Admittance’
Mrs. Epps: He woulda been nineteen next week.
Buffy goes over to the basement door and opens it. She quietly makes her
way down the stairs. She looks around a bit, and then goes over to the
table. There she finds the pictures of herself and Willow. She also
finds the plans for the body with Cordelia’s face pasted on top.
Buffy: (whispers) Cordelia!
Daryl sneaks up behind her, but the door opens and they both look up.
Buffy quickly hops over to the open basement window and climbs out.
Daryl watches her go.
Cut to the girls’ locker room. Cordelia is putting on her lip-gloss.
Joy, the cheerleading squad leader, walks by with Lisa.
Joy: Cordelia. You coming?
Cordelia: Yeah, I’ll be right out.
She finishes putting on her lip-gloss and sees Chris appear behind her
in the mirror. She’s startled and turns to face him.
Cordelia: Oh, God! Chris, you scared me. What are you doing in here?
He looks down and away from her.
Cordelia: Is something wrong?
She screams as Eric pulls a bag over her head and drags her off. Chris
just looks away.
Cut to a hall. Buffy comes around a corner and sees Joy and Lisa coming
down the stairs.
Buffy: Joy! Lisa! Where’s Cordelia?
Joy: Cordelia has a game to think about. She doesn’t need losers like
you. (tries to go)
Buffy: (blocks her way) I’m sorry, what did you say?
Cut to the locker room. Eric has Cordelia on the floor, trying to tie
her hands. Buffy comes running down the adjoining hall and stops to look
into the locker room. Eric sees her and gets up to defend himself. Buffy
comes running in and jump kicks him, knocking him down. She crouches
down and pulls the bag off of Cordelia’s head.
Buffy: Are you okay?
Cordelia: Oh my God, Buffy!
Eric gets up and runs away.
Buffy: Don’t worry, he’s gone.
Cordelia: I was on my way down to the field when Chris came in, and all
of a sudden someone jumped me.
Buffy: Shh! Quiet down. Relax. Take it easy.
Cordelia: (hears music) That’s the fight song. Oh my God, it’s time for
the cheerleader pyramid at mid-field. I’ve gotta go.
Buffy: Well, are you sure you’re okay to go out there?
Cordelia: Yeah, you don’t understand, I have to go. I’m the apex!
Buffy hears a noise and looks around.
Buffy: Chris? (walks slowly) I know what you’re trying to do. You and
Eric. I know about the bodies from the cemetery. But you haven’t hurt
anyone yet. (Chris steps out into the open) Look, I know what it’s like
to lose someone that you’re close to. But that’s no excuse. What you’re
doing is wrong.
Chris: I have to do this for him. He needs someone.
Buffy: Who, Eric? He needs industrial strength therapy!
Chris: He always looked out for me. Stood up for me. He’s all alone.
Everybody loved him. And now he’s all alone.
Buffy: Who are you talking… (realizes) Oh my God!
Cut to Chris’ basement. Daryl is trashing the place.
Daryl: (yelling) You promised me! You promised I wouldn’t have to be
Eric: It’s not too late.
Daryl comes over to him and lifts him by the shirt.
Eric: Nothing’s changed! We can still do this! You and me. Your
brother’s not the only one who can create life. Whadaya say?
Daryl sets him down. Eric takes a few deep breaths.
Eric: Let’s go scare you up a date.
~ ~ Part 4 ~ ~
Chris’ Basement. Buffy and Chris come in and quickly descend the stairs.
Buffy: Daryl! Daryl? Daryl!
She takes a quick look around.
Buffy: He’s not here. Where else could he be?
Chris: But he would never go out. U-unless…
Buffy: He’s gonna pick up where you left off.
She makes quick strides to get out of the basement and over to the game.
After a moment’s hesitation Chris follows her.
Cut to the game. Cordelia is doing a cheer with the squad.
Squad: Go, Razorbacks, go! Go, team, go! Go, Razorbacks, go! Go, team,
On the field the ball is snapped, thrown, caught and run in for a
touchdown. The crowd goes wild. Cut to Jenny and Giles coming from the
refreshment stand. His arms are full of snacks and drinks.
Jenny: I don’t know what it is about football that does it for me. I
mean, it lacks the, the grace of basketball, the, uh, poetry of
baseball. At its best it’s unadorned aggression. It’s such a rugged
Giles: Rugged. American football. (laughs)
They climb into the stands.
Jenny: And that’s funny because?
Giles: No! (laughs) I just think it’s rather odd (they sit) that a
nation that prides itself on its virility should feel compelled to strap
on forty pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby.
Jenny: Is this your normal strategy for a first date? Dissing my
country’s national pastime?
Giles: Did you just say ‘date’?
Jenny: You noticed that, huh?
Willow: Hi, Ms. Calendar! Hi, Giles.
Jenny: Hey, guys. What’s up?
Willow: Eric’s was a bust. Nothing there.
Xander: Yeah, nothing but a bunch of computer equipment and a
pornography collection so prodigious it even scared me.
Willow: Did Buffy get back yet?
Giles: No, uh, no. Uh, perhaps you should, uh, circulate nearer the
field, see what you can find.
Willow and Xander slip under the railing and sit in front of Giles and
Jenny. Xander reaches back and takes Giles’ popcorn.
Xander: So, what’s the score?
Giles and Jenny are unhappy about them sitting right there.
Cut to a view of the field from behind the spectators. The teams are
getting in position for the next play. The ball is snapped. Cut under
the stands. Daryl is crawling along, looking for Cordelia. He sees the
action on the field and stops a moment to watch and remember. A player
on the field gets tackled, but has gained several yards and gets high-
fives from his teammates. Daryl lowers his eyes a moment, then notices
Cordelia. She takes a break from cheerleading and walks over to the
coolers next to the bleachers for a drink. Daryl comes up behind her as
she drinks and grabs her. She screams, but her yell is drowned out by
the crowd cheering another touchdown. The other cheerleaders jump and
wave their pompoms. On the field the players help the scoring team
member up and pat him on the back. Buffy and Chris arrive by the
Buffy: I don’t see her. Do you?
Buffy lets out a frustrated breath.
Cut to the old science lab at the school. Cordelia has been blindfolded
and is being tied to a gurney.
Cordelia: Please, what’s going on? Just take off the blindfold. I
promise I won’t scream! I promise!
Daryl lifts the sheet from the headless body they’ve constructed.
Daryl: She’s beautiful!
Eric: No! It’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the
Daryl puts the sheet back down and goes over to Cordelia.
Cordelia: Please? Just take off the blindfold! I promise I won’t
scream! I promise!
He takes off her blindfold. She takes one look at him and screams at the
top of her lungs.
Eric: You can scream all you want. We’re in an abandoned building.
Cordelia screams for help at an even higher pitch. Eric holds up a pan
and threatens to hit her with it.
Eric: Okay, that’s enough.
Cordelia stops her screaming, and Eric puts the pan back down.
Daryl: You were always good to me. Always noticed me. But I ignored
you. I’m sorry. I’m glad I have a second chance to tell you that.
Daryl: I was thoughtless. I see that now. But I’ve changed. I’ve
learned to appreciate how much it meant that you wanted to be with me.
Eric: We’re ready.
Cordelia: Ready? Ready for what?
Eric: You’re gonna feel a little pinch, maybe some discomfort around
the neck area. But don’t worry. When you wake up, you’ll have the body
of a seventeen-year-old. In fact, you’ll have the body of several.
He lifts the sheet, and Cordelia lets out a very intense scream when she
sees the body.
Cut back to the game. Buffy walks over to the cooler and finds
Buffy: He was here, Chris. Where did he take her?
Chris: To the rest of the body. To the lab.
Buffy: Where is that?
Chris: I promised him that I…
Buffy: Look, he’ll kill Cordelia! You can’t just give and take lives
like that. It’s not your job.
Chris: He’s in the old science lab. Everything’s set up there.
Buffy: Thank you. Now find Xander and Willow and tell them what’s going
She leaves quickly for the lab. Chris goes to find the others.
Cut to the lab. Eric is pouring gasoline into a sink.
Cordelia: (frightened) Daryl, please. You don’t have to do this.
Daryl: We have to. So we can be together.
Cordelia: We’ll be together anyway! I’ll be with you, I promise!
Daryl: Is that right?
Cordelia: Mm hm!
Daryl: You see anything you like?
He goes over to the other body and lifts the sheet.
Daryl: And when you’re finished you won’t go out. You won’t run away.
But we can hide together.
Cordelia: (very frightened) Please! Please!
Eric holds a knife into a flame a moment, and then comes over to her.
Eric: Sterile enough for government work.
He bends over Cordelia to begin the procedure.
Cordelia: No! No, please!
There is a loud pounding on the door. It breaks open and Buffy comes in.
Eric turns around, sees her and throws the knife at her. She catches it
Cordelia: Buffy, help me!
Eric runs away.
Buffy: Daryl, listen. I know what you’re doing, okay? Your brother sent
me to stop you.
Daryl: He wouldn’t do that. My brother loves me.
Cordelia: Buffy, they’re crazy!
Buffy: It’s okay, Cordelia. I’m gonna get you outta here.
Daryl: No, I’m not done with her yet!
He turns to the instrument tray and fumbles around for something. He
grabs a cleaver.
Daryl: I’m not finished!
He takes the cleaver back to Cordelia and tries to start hacking at her
neck. Buffy rushes over, grabs Daryl’s arm, knocks the cleaver away and
punches him in the face. She scrambles around the table to continue the
fight, but Daryl punches her hard in the face. He grabs her, slams her
head into the instrument tray and throws her over Cordelia and onto the
Daryl: I won’t live alone!
He pushes Cordelia’s gurney aside, and it knocks over the can of
gasoline. The gas starts pouring out onto the floor.
Eric: I’m getting out of here!
Daryl: (grabs Eric by the shirt) You have to help me!
Eric: Let go!
Daryl throws Eric aside and faces Buffy again. Eric slides into a barrel
with his head and gets knocked out. Daryl comes at Buffy. She kicks him
in the knee, making him collapse to the floor. She kicks him again in
the gut as he tries to get up. He tries to get up again, and she kicks
him in the face. He’s not fazed, gets up and tries to swing at her. She
ducks it. He tries again, and she ducks again and kicks him in the
chest, sending him staggering backward and knocking the Bunsen burner to
the floor, igniting the gasoline. Xander shows up.
Buffy: Get Cordelia!
Xander runs over to Cordelia and tries to untie her.
Cordelia: Get me out of here!
Daryl grabs hold of Buffy and flips her over onto the floor. As she
gets up he grabs a canister and throws it at her. She ducks it. The
flames around Cordelia and Xander are starting to get higher. Buffy
kicks Daryl twice in the side.
Cordelia: C’mon! C’mon! Get it off!
Daryl grabs Buffy again, lifts her and holds on to her while she
struggles to free herself. Xander is getting nowhere with Cordelia’s
bindings and tries to find a knife.
Cordelia: Get it off! Get me outta here! C’mon!
Buffy continues to struggle in Daryl’s grip. Giles and Willow show up.
Xander gives up looking and decides to just wheel Cordelia out. Willow
and Giles spot Eric, pick him up and get him out. Xander gives the
gurney a good shove, hops on and they roll through the flames while
Cordelia screams. He hops off, and Jenny helps him stop the gurney. They
get Cordelia loose. Buffy hits Daryl in the neck, and he lets go of her.
She tries to kick him again, but he grabs her leg, lifts her up and
throws her to the floor. Buffy is stunned and lies there while Daryl
grabs a desk and raises it over his head.
Daryl looks behind him and sees his brother there.
Daryl looks back at Buffy and then notices the body surrounded by
flames. He tosses the desk aside and rushes over to it.
Daryl: She’s mine!
Buffy gets up and stops Chris from running into the flames after Daryl.
Jenny watches, stunned as Giles comes back into the room behind her and
looks on as well.
Daryl: No. We’ll be together always. No! Mine!
The flames engulf Daryl and his bride-to-be.
Cut outside. There are fire engines and police all over. The camera pans
down from above over to Chris and Buffy.
Chris: The first time he woke up after… He said I shouldn’ta brought
him back. I-I was just… tryin’ to look out for him. Like… he woulda
done for me.
Angel: (suddenly shows up) I saw the fire. I figured you’d be here. Is
Buffy: Yeah. We’re okay.
Cut to Giles walking up to Jenny. He hands her a cup of coffee.
Giles: Sorry about all this.
Jenny: It’s okay. Although a good rule of thumb for a first date is
don’t do anything so exciting that it’ll be hard to top on the second
Giles: Believe it or not, since I’ve moved here to live on top of the
Hellmouth, the events of this evening actually qualify as a slow night.
(pauses and considers) Did you just say ‘second date’?
Jenny: You noticed that, huh? (smiles)
Giles smiles back and takes a sip of his coffee. Cut to Willow and
Xander: Well, I guess that makes it official. Everybody’s paired off.
Vampires get dates. Hell, even the school librarian sees more action
than me. You ever think that the world is a giant game of musical
chairs, and the music’s stopped and we’re the only ones who don’t have a
Willow: All the time.
Cordelia: Xander? I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What
you did in there was really brave and heroic, and I just wanted to tell
you if there was anything that I could ever do to…
Xander: Do you mind? We’re talking here.
Cordelia is taken aback, rolls her eyes and leaves.
Xander: So where were we?
Willow: Wondering why we never get dates.
Xander: Yeah, so why do you think that is?
Cut to the cemetery. Angel and Buffy are strolling through.
Buffy: God, the whole thing was so creepy. Well, at the same time, I
mean… he did do it all for his brother.
Angel: Sounds like he took it a little over the edge.
Buffy: Love makes you do the wacky.
Buffy: Crazy stuff.
Angel: Oh. Crazy, like a two-hundred-and-forty-one-year-old being
jealous of a high school junior?
Buffy: Are you fessing up?
Angel: I’ve thought about it. Maybe it bothers me a little.
Buffy: I don’t love Xander.
Angel: Yeah, but he’s in your life. He gets to be there when I can’t.
Take your classes, eat your meals, hear your jokes and complaints. He
gets to see you in the sunlight.
Buffy: I don’t look that good in direct light.
Angel: It’ll be morning soon.
Buffy: I should probably go. I could walk you home.
They look at each other for a long moment. Finally Angel begins to walk,
and Buffy accompanies him, her hand in his. The camera pans down to
Daryl Epps’ gravestone, 1978 – 1996.