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Sunnydale High is boasting a new cultural exchange program –students from other countries being hosted by local families, and a celebration of culture’s dance is being plan. Everything is swell until Xander finds out that Buffy’s student is a guy.
At a school museum trip, a 500-year-old mummy, holding a cursed seal which serves as a warning to any who wake her, is on exhibit. When everyone leaves, dimwitted student Rodney tries to take the seal. It breaks, and the mummy arises, grabs him, kisses him and mummifies him.
When Rodney turns up missing, Buffy, Giles, Xander and Willow go to the museum to look for clues and find him mummified, and a man with a knife jumps out at them. Giles tries to decipher what’s left of the seal, but they are ancient pictograms. Buffy’s exchange student arrives at the bus station, only to meet the same fate as Rodney.
From this latest kiss, the 500-year-old mummy transforms into Empada, a beautiful Peruvian teenage girl who pretends to be the exchange student. Xander goes gaga over her and Giles asks her to help him decipher the seal. She says the picture of a man with a knife represents a bodyguard.
As Xander hangs out with Empada, the knife guy shows up again, looking for the rest of the seal. Empada, shaken, tells Giles to destroy it, but Giles wants to go back to the museum to find the missing parts. Knife guy returns in the ladies’ room, and Empada finally kisses and mummifies him, too.
Xander takes Empada to the school dance, and Buffy discovers the real exchange student’s mummified corpse in her trunk. She and Giles realize Empada’s the mummy. It seems she was in a similar situation to Buffy’s — she was chosen to defend her people, and was killed at 16.
Meanwhile, things are getting hot and heavy at the dance with Xander and Empada, but she is starting to turn back into a mummy. She must kiss someone quickly or it will be too late. She runs away from Xander and goes to the museum to try to break the seal that Giles is about to restore. Buffy saves Giles before Empada kisses him, but gets thrown into the tomb.
When Willow tries to help, Xander intervenes and offers his own life instead. Buffy escapes from the tomb just in time to pull the now-mummified Empada off of Xander, and the poor guy’s dance partner breaks into pieces.
EXT. NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM – DAY
A museum-looking building with a sign: ‘SUNNYDALE NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM.’ Under it is a
banner: CULTURAL EXCHANGE SPECIAL EXHIBIT: TREASURES OF SOUTH AMERICA. BUFFY, WILLOW,
XANDER and other STUDENTS walk up the steps.
It’s so unfair.
I don’t think it’s that bad.
It’s the uber-suck! Mom could have
at least warned me!
Well, a lot of the parents are doing
it this year. It’s part of this whole
cultural exchange magilla. The
exhibit, the dance…
I have the best costume for the dance.
A complete stranger in my house
for two weeks! I’m gonna be insane!
A danger to myself and others within
three days, I swear.
I think the exchange student program
(off their looks)
I do. It’s the beautiful melding of
Have you ever done an exchange
My dad tried to sell me to some
Armenians once, does that count?
CORDELIA is near the door, looking at a facebook with some friends.
There’s mine. Sven. Isn’t he lunchable?
Mine’s definitely the best.
REVEAL they are flipping through a yearbook-type album, pointing at photos of cute boys. Our three
Whatcha looking at?
Pictures of our exchange students.
(shows a picture)
Look. One hundred percent Swedish.
One hundred percent gorgeous. One
hundred percent staying in my house.
They all head into the museum.
INT. NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM – ENTRANCE LOBBY – DAY
They line up behind other students at the exhibit entrance. A banner above it states: ‘INCA
Buffy, how’s yours? Visually, I mean.
I don’t know. Guy-like.
By ‘guy-like,’ you mean a big,
beefy, guy-like girl, right?
I was just told ‘guy.’
You didn’t even look at him first?
He could be dogly! You live on
Hold on a sec. This person living in
your house for two weeks is a man,
with man parts? This is a terrible idea!
What about the beautiful melding of
There’s no melding. Okay? He can
keep his parts to himself.
What’s he doing?
They see RODNEY MUNSON, 16, walking trouble. He stands alone, facing a wall, doing something we
Rodney Munson. God’s gift to the
A STUDENT tries to see what Rodney’s doing. He looks up and sneers at the kid, revealing braces.
The student backs away.
What he lacks in smarts, he makes
up in lack of smarts.
You just don’t like him ’cause of
that time he beat you up every
day for five years.
Yeah, I’m irrational that way.
Maybe I should stop him before he
gets in –
I got it. The non-violent approach
is probably better here.
She goes off, Buffy looks slightly offended.
I wasn’t gonna use violence. I
don’t always use violence. Do I?
The important thing is, you believe
I might have used reason. Or my
He uses a pen knife to scrape gold dust off an Incan Death mask and into a baggy.
(then, seeing her)
Oh, Willow. Hi.
That’s probably not something you’re
supposed to be doing. You could get
Oh, no. And they might kick me out
We still on for our Chem tutorial
Yeah. I think I got almost all 14
natural elements memorized.
There are 103.
Oh. So I still got to learn…
We’ll do a touch-up on math, too.
She smiles as Rodney puts his pen-knife away.
ANGLE: THE ENTRANCE TO THE BURIAL CHAMBER
A Museum GUIDE speaks into a microphone.
Welcome students. We shall now
Proceed into the Incan Burial Chamber.
The human sacrifice is about to begin.
INT. NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM – BURIAL CHAMBER – DAY
The room is dark, except for spotlights illuminating Incan artifacts on the walls. They enter.
Typical museum trick. Promise human
sacrifice, deliver old pots and pans.
500 years ago, the Incan people chose
a beautiful teenage girl to become their
In the room is a STONE ZIGGURAT PYRAMID. Block steps lead up to a flat top we can’t see from the
floor. They climb the steps. Willow seems creeped.
I hope this story ends with ‘And she
lived happily ever after.’
Students walk past a sunken hole. Our kids PEER and see:
THE LEATHERED FACE OF A MUMMY. Macabre. Freeze-dried. Black holes for eyes. Shriveled lips. Ugly.
No. I think the story ends with, ‘And
she became a scary, discolored,
The Incan people sacrificed their
princess to the mountain, god,
Sebancaya. An offering, buried
alive, for eternity in this dark tomb.
They could have at least wrapped
it in nice white bandages, like the
ones in the movies.
The Princess remained there,
protected only by a cursed seal,
placed there as a warning to any
who would wake her.
The guide indicates a pictogram-covered PLATE, nestled in the mummy’s gnarled hands.
A GIGGLE. Xander turns. Sees the Cordettes down on the museum floor, mooning, ‘ooohing’ and
‘ahhhing’ over the pictures of their exchange students.
So, Buffy, when’s exchange-o boy
making his appearance?
WEIRD POV: from inside the sarcophagus. Looking at Buffy.
His name is Ampata. He’s showing up
at the bus station tomorrow night.
Ooh, Sunnydale bus depot. Classy.
What better way to say “Welcome
to Our Country” than with the
stench of urine.
The guide motions for the students to follow him.
If you’ll follow me this way…
INT. NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM – BURIAL CHAMBER – DAY
Empty. Silent. Then Rodney CREEPS out from the shadows. He looks at the Mummy, at the plate.
He slowly pulls the ceramic plate from the mummy’s hands. There’s some resistance, and Rodney
accidentally drops the plate. It shatters.
THE MUMMY’S HAND suddenly GRABS Rodney’s throat. Rodney struggles. Eyes and mouth go wide.
THE MUMMY’S EYES crack open. The leathery face animates, as it draws a terrified Rodney closer.
END OF TEASER
EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD – THE NEXT DAY
Banners everywhere proclaim ‘WORLD CULTURE DANCE – FRIDAY NIGHT AT THE BRONZE.’
INT. LIBRARY – DAY
CLOSE ON: BUFFY
So, can I go?
I should think not.
Buffy throws a mean right hook at CAMERA. WHOMP!
REVEAL GILES as he catches her fist with his huge FIGHTING PAD. Xander watches them from a safe
Because you are the Chosen One.
Just this once, can’t I be the
Giles puts down his arms, looking at her.
I’m afraid that’s simply not an
option. You have responsibilities
that other girls do not, and –
Oh, I can finish this one for you.
‘Slaying entails certain sacrifices
blah blah blah-bity blah I’m so
stuffy give me a scone.’
It’s like you know me.
He puts his hands back up. WHOMP, WHOMP.
Your secret identity is already going
to be difficult enough to maintain
while that exchange student lives
Not with her. In the same house as
her. Am I the only one who’s
objective enough to make that
So then, going to the dance, like a
normal person, is the best way to
keep that secret.
You’re twisting my words.
No, I’m just using them for good.
Giles looks at her. A beat.
Come on, Giles. Budge. No one likes
Yay! I win!
I think I’ll go introduce my shoulder
to an ice pack.
He limps away.
So, we’re dance-bound. I think I can
get mom’s car, so I’m the wheel man.
I thought you were taking Willow.
Well, I’m gonna take Willow, but I’m
not gonna take Willow. In the sense
of “take me.” See with you, we’re
three and everybody’s safe. Without
you, we’re two.
And we enter dateville. Romance.
C’mon. All the years you’ve known
Willow, you’ve never thought about
Willow enters. Unseen.
Buffy, I love Willow.
She’s my best friend. Which makes
her not the kind of girl who you
think about her lips that much. She’s
the kind of girl I’m best friends with.
Willow steps forward not exactly smiling.
Willow. Hi. We were just talking
about happy things. Like all three
of us going to the dance together.
Giles returns from his office, an ice pack on his shoulder.
Trouble with Mr. Munson again?
His parents said he never came home
last night. The police are still looking
‘Police are looking for Rodney Munson.’
That’s a phrase we’ll get used to.
I don’t remember him on the bus back
from the field trip.
I don’t either. I hope he didn’t get into
trouble at the museum.
(picking up on it)
Maybe he awakened the mummy-
Right, and it rose from its tomb…
And attacked him…
They all chuckle a bit, then stop. They look at each other.
INT. NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM – BURIAL CHAMBER – DAY
Buffy, Willow, Xander and Giles walk cautiously through the shadows, toward the Ziggurat. Willow’s
On the other hand, maybe Rodney
just went out for a smoke.
For twenty-one hours?
It’s addictive, you know.
We’ll consider that idea, the moment
we’ve ruled out evil curses.
Some day I’m going to live in a town
where evil curses are just generally
ruled out without even saying.
Where was this seal?
Buffy’s already on the flat top of the pyramid. A SEAL FRAGMENT teeters on the edge of the
Here. And it’s broken.
Does that mean the mummy’s loose?
They peer into the hole. The mummy lies there as before.
Nope. Still there. Comfy as every.
(studies the fragment)
Look at this. A series of
ANGLE: A MAN (PERU MAN)
murder in his eyes, rushes from the shadows, shrieking. Long, curved KNIFE raised. (Some people
call it a huge, machete-like carving blade. We call it a long, curved knife.)
Xander ducks as the knife whizzes past. Buffy lunges for Peru Man, who swings his knife at her head.
Buffy rolls out of the way. Suddenly, Peru Man sees something and stops cold.
Xander leaps onto Peru Man. But, instead of fighting, Peru Man races out of the exhibit room. Silence.
Okay. I just saved us, right?
Let’s not fret the details. Let’s just
go. Xander, bring the fragment.
They move to leave the pyramid. Turn back to see Willow, frozen stiff, staring at the mummy.
Willow? What is it?
Giles. Were the Incans… very
Yes. Yes, they were.
Did they have orthodontists?
They follow her gaze to see THE MUMMY’S OPEN MOUTH, filled with BRACES.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Buffy and Xander pace around the table. Willow sits.
Rodney looked like he had been dead
for five hundred years. How could
Maybe we should ask that crazy man
with the big ol’ knife.
He didn’t seem overly chatty.
The way he bolted when he saw Rodney,
I’d say he was as freaked as we were.
Giles appears from the stacks, holding the seal.
I’m afraid my volumes are useless.
This particular mummy was from the
Sebancaya region of eastern Peru.
Very remote. If there’s an answer,
In the seal.
It could take me weeks to translate
these pictograms. Well, we’ll start
tonight with –
I was going to suggest hunting.
I’m late. I told my mom I’d pick
Buffy, where are your priorities? In
tracking down a mummifying murderer,
or making time with some Latin lover,
whose stock in trade is the breakage of
Ampata is there alone and I don’t know
how good his English is. He’s-
–from South America! Maybe he could
translate the seal.
Oh, sure. Fall for the old ‘Let-me-
come one. You know how many times
I’ve used that?
EXT. BUS STATION – BUS ARRIVAL AREA – NIGHT
Hydraulic brakes HISS. A bus pulls away, revealing AMPATA, a short squat Peruvian BOY, 16. He
stands next to two beat-up trunks, smiling nervously. He watches as the station empties of
PASSENGERS. Then, a female VOICE whispers:
Ampata looks around, excited, then confused. Sees no one.
VOICE (cont’d; O.C.)
Ampata pulls his trunks toward the VOICE and into a DARK ALLEY. He stops. Searches the darkness.
Suddenly his expression changes to horror.
AMPATA’S POV: A HIDEOUS MONSTER
Not quite mummy, not quite human. It GRABS Ampata by the throat. Pulls him towards its face.
CLOSE ON: THE MUMMY’S MOUTH as it puckers into a hideous KISS.
Ampata is frozen in terror as the mummy plants its lips on his. Ampata’s face begins to shrivel and
EXT. BUS STATION – BUS ARRIVAL AREA – LATER – NIGHT
Buffy, Willow and Xander arrive at the deserted station.
Forty minutes late. Welcome to
What if he left already.
Ampata? Ampata Duarte?
They walk slowly toward the alley, where Ampata disappeared.
Do we have to speak Spanish when we
see him? ‘Cause I don’t know how to
say anything much besides “Doritos”
A GIRL appears from the dark alley. She’s 16. Stunningly beautiful, but hesitant. Vulnerable.
I am Ampata.
Xander just stares.
Hay carumba. I also know how
to say that.
END OF ACT ONE
INT. BUFFY’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Buffy, Willow and Xander lead Ampata on a tour. Ampata’s very tentative, but also awe-struck at a
And this is the kitchen…
It is very good.
Oh yeah. Got your stove, your
fridge… fully functional. We’re
very into it.
Do you want something to drink?
(looking into fridge)
We’ve got milk and … older milk…
Buffy goes for glasses as Ampata sits, Xander sitting beside her.
So, Ampata… You’re a girl.
Yes. For many years now.
And not a boy. ‘Cause we thought
that a boy was coming, and here
you are in a girl way.
It’s just one of those crazy mix ups, Will.
Have you been to America before.
I have… toured.
(as to a child)
Where did… you go?
I have been taken to Boston.
Atlanta. New York.
New York. That’s exciting. What
was that like?
I did not see so much.
Your English is very bueno.
I listen much.
Well, that works out great, ’cause
I talk much!
They laugh together.
JOYCE comes in, carrying sheets and blankets.
Buffy, do you want to show Ampata
up to your room?
INT. BUFFY’S ROOM – MOMENTS LATER – NIGHT
Buffy and Joyce make up an extra bed.
You said she was staying in the study.
That was when we thought Ampata
was a boy. But since he’s a girl, I
thought you could double up.
Mom, you think too much.
You two in a room together? Give
you both a chance to share secrets.
I’m not a big secret sharer. I like
my secrets. They’re secret.
Oh, it’ll be fun.
You know, next year I ought to sign
up for one of those ‘exchange mom’
Joyce smiles as they finish making the bed.
INT. BUFFY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Buffy comes in from the hallway. They’re both dressed for bed.
Sorry about the teenyness of the room.
My old one was much smaller.
What’s it like, back home?
Cramped. And very dead.
You’ll feel right at home in
Oh, no. You have so much here.
Ampata picks up a picture of Buffy with Willow and Xander.
How about friends?
I am just me.
I’ve been there.
But, hey. You’ll meet lots of
Ampata climbs into bed, smiling for the first time.
Thank you. You must teach me
everything about your life!
Buffy smiles uneasily.
I want to fit in, Buffy. Just like
you. A normal life.
One normal life, coming up.
Buffy clicks off the light.
EXT. BUSHES NEAR THE HOUSE – CONTINUOUS – NIGHT
We see the light go off on the face of Peru Man, who is standing in the shadows, LOOKING UP from
the hedges below. His long, curved knife glints ominously.
EXT SCHOOL COURTYARD – THE NEXT DAY
Banners proclaim the World Culture Dance.
CLOSE ON: A DRUM
Bearing the logo: DINGOES ATE MY BABY
Two students, SAM and OZ – by their looks, obviously members of the band – load music and sound
equipment into a van, which has their logo emblazoned on the side. Cordelia talks with DEVON, the
band’s good-looking lead singer.
Devon, I told you I’d be at the dance
tonight, but I’m not one of your little
groupies. I won’t be all doe-eyed,
looking up at you, standing at the
edge of the stage.
So, I’ll see you afterwards?
Sure. Where do you want to meet?
I’ll be standing at the edge of the stage.
With that guy?
REVEAL SVEN, Cordelia’s exchange student, stands nearby. Hulking, blond, expressionless – like a
Sven, momento. Needa.
This exchange student thing has been
a horrible nightmare. They don’t even
Cordelia kisses Devon on the cheek.
I’ll see you tonight.
Sven follows. Devon turns to Oz.
Oz, man, what do you think?
Of Cordelia, man.
She’s a wonderland tour.
There’s a quiet restraint and total lack of bitterness to his sarcasm; where Devon is your typical
excitable rock and roller, Oz is completely unflappable. His is the kind of cool that is completely
unaware of itself.
You gotta admit, she’s hot.
Oh, yeah. Hot girl.
Let me guess. Not your type. What
does girl have to do to impress you?
Well, it involves a feather boa and
the theme from A Summer Place. I
can’t discuss it here.
You’re too picky, man. You know how
many girls you could have? You’re
lead guitar, Oz, that’s currency!
I’m not picky. You’re just impressed
by any pretty girl that can walk and talk.
She doesn’t have to talk…
Oz throws him a look.
EXT. ANOTHER PART OF THE COURTYARD – SAME TIME – DAY
Willow and Xander walk together, past one of the banners advertising the World Culture Dance.
I worked really hard on my costume.
It’s pretty cool.
Okay, but what about me? I gotta
It’s a celebration of cultures. There’s
a lot of dress-up alternatives.
And a corresponding equal number of
mocking alternatives, all aimed at me.
Bavarians are cool.
No hats with feathers, no ruffled
Shirts and definitely no lederhosen.
They make my calves look fat.
Why are you suddenly so worried
about looking like an idiot?
That came out wrong.
But Xander isn’t even listening. He’s looking off, past Willow, and smiling. Willow follows his gaze to
see Ampata arriving with Buffy.
Your first day of school. Nervous?
It is just more people than I have
seen in a long time.
Don’t worry. You’re not going to have
any problem making friends. As a
matter of fact, I know someone who’s
dying to meet you.
INT. LIBRARY – DAY
How do you do? I was wondering if
you could translate this for me.
WIDEN to reveal the gang is there. Giles holds up the seal.
That was in no way awkward.
Ampata looks at the seal. An instant of dread crosses her face. She quickly recovers.
Is something wrong?
No, it is… why are you asking me?
It’s an artifact. From your region.
It’s from the tomb of an Incan mummy.
We’re trying to translate it. A project
‘Ar-chae-ol-o-gy.’ Study of old
It is broken. Where are the other
This is the only one we found.
It is very old. And valuable.
(thinks for a beat)
You should hide it.
Is there anything you recognize here?
This figure with the knife, for instance.
Ampata looks at them for a beat. She turns the fragment around, feigning ignorance.
Well, I do not know exactly. But I
think this represents… I believe
the word is… the bodyguard?
Legend has it that he guards the
mummy against those who would
By slicing them up?
I would not know that.
Yes, well. That should be a good
starting point for our… club.
Ampata just stands there. Giles glances awkwardly at her.
Oh, right. And as Club President, I
have to do lots of stuff. Very
Willow, maybe you could-
–stay with Ampata for the day?
I’d love to.
Ampata smiles, pleased.
Yes, that will be fun.
Xander leads Ampata out the doors.
Okay, then. I’ll continue with the
translating. Buffy, you research
this ‘Bodyguard.’ And… Willow?
Willow looks wistfully at the doors.
Boy. They really like each other.
EXT. FOOTBALL BLEACHERS – LATER – DAY
Xander and Ampata are there. Xander reaches into a bag.
(pulls something out)
–is called snack food.
It’s a delicious, golden, spongy
cake, filled with a delightful, white
creamy substance of goodness. And
here’s how you eat it.
He shoves the whole thing in his mouth. Ampata laughs.
Oh, but now I can not try it.
Xander reaches into the bag and pulls out another.
(with mouth full)
That’s why you bring two.
He unwraps it and hands it to her.
She crams it in, then laughs, almost spitting out.
Good, huh? And the exciting part is,
they have no ingredients that a human
can pronounce. So they don’t leave you
with that heavy, food feeling in your
You are strange…
Girls always tell me that. Right before
they run away.
I like it.
I like you like it.
(thinks about that)
Please don’t learn from my English.
INT. LIBRARY – DAY
Buffy and willow are looking through books, comparing pictograms with the plate. Buffy is somewhat
more actively involved than Willow.
Hah! Or possibly Hah… do you
think this matches?
Willow doesn’t react for a moment.
Oh! Yes! I’m caring about mummies.
Ampata’s only staying for two weeks.
And then Xander will find someone
else who’s not me to obsess about.
At least with you I knew he didn’t
have a shot.
As they talk, Giles enters, looks at Buffy’s book, not listening.
Well, you know, I have a choice. I
can spend my life waiting for Xander
to go with every other girl in the world
before he notices me, or I can just get
on with my life.
Good for you.
Well, I didn’t choose yet…
Aha. Yes. Good work?
Yes. This makes it clear: Rodney’s
killer is the mummy.
Where’s it say that?
Giles points to more pictograms.
Here. It explains that mummies kill
by feeding off the life force of a
person. Effectively freeze-drying
them, you might say.
So then, we just have to stop the
mummy. Which leaves the question:
How do we a: find and b: stop the
(re: Seal fragment)
That answer is still locked somewhere
in here. Or in the rest of the seal.
EXT. FOOTBALL BLEACHERS – SAME TIME – DAY
CLOSE UP: A CURVED KNIFE BLADE
PERU MAN (O.C.)
Give me the seal!
The blade SWIPES DOWN between Xander and Ampata. The knife blade lodges into the bench. Peru
Man screams at Xander.
You stole the seal. Where is it?
Xander struggles with Peru Man as Ampata shrieks. Peru Man glances at her. A startled beat of
PERU MAN (cont’d)
It is you…
XANDER kicks Peru Man. He falls through the bleachers. Xander grabs Ampata’s hand.
Xander and Ampata escape.
INT. LIBRARY – MOMENTS LATER – DAY
Xander comforts a distraught Ampata at the table.
Are you okay?
You protect me. Make me safe.
So, our bodyguard strikes again. Why
is he so into us? What’s he want?
He said “give me the seal.”
Apparently, this seal fragment is
even more popular than we realized.
I’m just not sure what we should do
They turn to look at her.
If you do not, someone could die.
I’m afraid someone already has.
You mean the man with the knife
No, not-I mean, he…
You are not telling me everything.
Xander takes her hands.
You’re right, Ampata. And it’s time
we do. We’re not in Archaeology
Club. We’re in-
The others look at him, horrified.
–Crime Club. It’s like Chess Club.
Only… with crime. And no chess.
Please, understand me. That seal
nearly got us killed. It must be
She runs off.
Xander goes after her.
INT. HALL – SECONDS LATER – DAY
Xander runs up to a shaken Ampata.
Ampata, listen to me. Nobody’s going
to hurt you. I won’t let them.
Your investigation is dangerous. I
don’t want that. Just normal life.
Xander watches as Ampata goes to a drinking fountain and splashes water on her face. Willow
appears behind Xander.
Is she okay?
Wigged. I wanna convince her that
our lives aren’t just danger and peril
You should take her to the dance.
Yeah, that’ll be fun. We can all…
I mean just you.
But you were all psyched… your
I’ll see you there.
A moment, as he smiles.
Thanks. You know what, Willow?
You’re my best friend.
Willow watches Xander return to Ampata.
INT. LIBRARY – SAME TIME – DAY
Giles and Buffy look at the seal fragment.
Why would the Bodyguard have such
a jones for a broken piece of rock?
He probably needs this to put with
the other pieces-
At the museum.
Precisely. We’ll go to the museum and
use this fragment as bait to lure
in the Bodyguard.
And he’ll lead us to mummy dearest.
Hey, look at us. We came up with a
plan. A good plan.
We can meet there tonight after the
museum is closed.
No! Bad plan! I have other plans.
(off his look; solemnly)
INT. HALL – A SHORT TIME LATER – DAY
The halls are nearly empty as Xander and Ampata walk along.
Okay. I have something to tell you.
It’s kind of a secret. And a little
She looks at him, suddenly anxious.
I like you. A lot. And I want you
to go with me to the dance.
She giggles, relieved.
Why was that so scary?
Well, because you never know if the
girl is going to say yes, or if she’s
going to laugh in your face, pull out
your still-beating heart, and crush
it into the ground with her heel.
Then you are very courageous.
Can I tell you a secret?
Xander listens carefully.
I like you, too.
That’s great! Really?
You’re not a praying mantis, are you?
Sorry. Someone else.
Ampata looks at him. She coyly smiles and starts away.
I will return to you.
Where are you going?
Where you can not follow.
Hey, I’ll follow you anywhere you go –
(sees WOMEN’S RESTROOM sign)
-except for not in there. I’ll wait outside.
She heads inside. The door closes.
INT. WOMEN’S RESTROOM – CONTINUOUS – DAY
Ampata looks in the mirror. Combing her hair. The happy look of a girl in love. She flips her hair and
Peru Man in the mirror. He walks forward, knife at his side.
I beg you… do not kill me.
You are already dead. For 500 years.
It was unfair. I was innocent.
The people that you kill now so that
you may live – they are innocent.
Please. I am in love.
He backs her against a wall.
You are the Chosen One. You must
die. You have no choice.
Peru Man’s arm WHIZZES by her, but Ampata coolly catches it. Twists it, grabs the knife and twists
his arm painfully. We hear it start to CRACK. His eyes go wide.
Yes I do.
She grabs him by the jaw. KISSES him. His face shrivels.
INT. HALL – LATER – DAY
Xander glances at his watch, anxious. The door opens. Ampata steps out. She looks gorgeous.
I have thought.
Xander looks at her expectantly.
The dance. I will go with you. Gladly.
Xander smiles. Takes her hand. And they walk off.
END OF ACT TWO
INT. BUFFY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Buffy brings a trunk in, places it by a second one by her bed.
Buffy, I cannot find lipstick.
Should be on the dresser.
Ampata enters from the bathroom. She’s dressed as the Incan princess. She’s beautiful. Radiates
confidence. Until she sees the trunk.
What is that?
They sent your stuff from the station.
Of course! I forgot all about it.
I will unpack it later.
I can do it.
But you must get ready for the dance.
I’m not going.
I’ve got work to do. There are some
bad things happening out there. That
guy with the knife is only one of them.
I am not worried. Thanks to Xander.
He seems very happy around you.
I am happy, too. He has a way of…
making the milk come out of my nose.
And that’s good?
From making me laugh.
Buffy smiles. Ampata searches Buffy’s dresser top.
It is not here.
I’ll help you look.
Buffy walks to the TWO TRUNKS from the bus station. Ampata’s still turned away, searching the
Thank you. You are always thinking
of others before yourself. You remind
me of someone from very long ago.
The Inca princess.
A princess? Cool.
Buffy opens one of the trunks. She pulls out a pair of BOY’S PANTS. Looks at them, curiously.
Ampata opens Buffy’s drawer, then turns to Buffy.
They told her she was the only one,
that only she could defend her people
from the netherworld.
Buffy looks up as Ampata’s words register.
Out of all the girls in her generation,
Buffy sees the open dresser drawer, filled with Crucifix, stakes, Slayer things. Buffy quickly crosses
You know the story?
It’s fairly familiar.
Buffy surreptitiously closes the drawer and spies the lipstick on the dresser. She hands it to Ampata.
She was sixteen. Like us. She was
offered as a sacrifice and went to
her death. Who knows what she
gave up to fulfill her duty to others.
What chance of love?
Ampata picks up a picture of Xander. Smiles at it.
This thought lingers for a beat.
Let me unpack the rest of your stuff.
Buffy opens the OTHER TRUNK LID, revealing
CLOSE UP: THE BODY OF THE EXCHANGE STUDENT – MUMMIFIED
But just as she is about to peer in, THE DOORBELL RINGS. Buffy looks up at Ampata, now standing
Xander and Willow. I’ll get it.
Buffy walks out. Ampata puts her hands on the trunk lid.
as the lid shuts over the mummified student.
She locks the trunk.
INT. BUFFY’S HOUSE – A MOMENT LATER – NIGHT
Buffy, in sweats, opens the door. Xander stands there, wearing a poncho and squinting with a little
cigar clenched between his teeth. He looks more than a little bit like Clint Eastwood.
I have come for the dance.
What culture are you?
I am from the country of Leone. It’s
in Italy, pretending to be Montana.
(then, re: her sweats)
And what are you? From the country
of white trash?
New line-up. You and Willow are
taking Ampata, Giles and I are
Where’s you and Willow?
She’s not coming. With us.
Oh. On a date. Romance. Lips.
Ampata enters. Stunning. Xander can’t take his eyes off her.
Xander manages a few sporadic noises.
I can translate America Salivating
Boy-talk. He said you’re beautiful.
Joyce comes in.
Ampata, don’t you look wonderful. I
wish you could talk my daughter into
going with you.
I tried. She’s very stubborn.
I’m glad someone else sees that.
AMPATA moves to the door. She and Xander turn to Buffy.
Well, good-bye, then.
And Xander? You look good.
He smiles. Joyce and Buffy watch as they head out.
Look at that. Only two days in
America and Ampata already
seems like she belongs here.
She’s really fitting in.
Buffy watches after them, wistfully.
Yeah. How about that?
EXT. BRONZE – NIGHT
Establishing. Music plays.
INT. BRONZE – NIGHT
THE BAND plays wildly on stage. Devon plays the bass and sings, thrashing about the stage. Oz plays
ripping guitar with the quiet concentration of someone knitting.
The place is full of KIDS dressed in the style of various cultures. A parade of BEAUTIFUL GIRLS enter,
each costume more provocative than the previous one. Last to come in is Cordelia, who wears a
Hawaiian grass skirt with a coconut shell top. She approaches Willow, who is dressed as an Eskimo.
Puffy, furry, hooded parka. A harpoon at her side.
Ooh, what a near faux-pas. I almost
wore the same thing.
Cordelia walks away. Constrained by her outfit, Willow has to turn her entire body to watch her go.
Cordelia approaches some Cordettes, including GWEN.
I keep trying to ditch him, but he’s
like one of those dogs you leave at
the Grand Canyon on vacation, it
follows you back across four states.
Sven enters, dressed like a Viking. He finds Cordelia and stands silently next to her.
See? My own speechless, human
He’s kind of cute. Maybe it’s nice,
skipping the small talk.
Small talk? Try simple instructions.
(gestures to Sven)
Get punch-y? You? Fruit drinky?
Sven remains motionless. Gwen pulls his hand.
He can follow me.
ANGLE: XANDER AND AMPATA
as they enter. They’re gorgeous together.
Willow watches as they move through the crowd. She bends down to look down at her own costume.
I guess I should have worn something sexy.
Ampata takes in the scene, like Cinderella at the Ball – it’s too good to be true. They approach
Willow, who peers out of her hood.
Wow. You guys look great.
I love your costume. It’s very authentic.
Yeah. You look… snug.
That’s what I was going for.
(tries to look around)
INT. BUFFY’S HOUSE – A MOMENT LATER – NIGHT
Buffy opens the door. Giles is there.
Yep. Not at the dance. Not with my
friends. Not with a life.
What are you doing here? I thought
we were going to meet at the museum
to find the bodyguard?
I’m afraid he’s already been found.
In a school restroom. Mummified.
I don’t get it. Why would the mummy
kill his own bodyguard?
Because he wasn’t the mummy’s
Giles holds up a book.
I discovered a translation code which
enabled me to read the pictograms.
They show that the bodyguard’s job
was to make sure the mummy didn’t
awaken and escape.
Not a bodyguard, then.
More like a prison guard.
So Ampata translated wrong?
Maybe we should get her to take
Well, wait… She was wiggy about
the seal from minute one.
Yes, I guess she was.
What about them?
INT. BUFFY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
As Buffy pulls at the lock of one, Giles goes through the clothes in the other.
These are definitely boys clothes.
Why would a girl pack these?
Buffy breaks the lock, opens the other trunk. After reacting.
How about this one? What kind of girl
travels with a mummified corpse…
ANGLE: IN THE TRUNK
we see the corpse of the real Ampata.
… and doesn’t even pack lipstick.
INT. BRONZE – NIGHT
The band starts playing a slow-danceable song. Xander and Ampata are standing near the dance
Do you want to, uh… would you like
to, you know…
I would love to dance.
Xander takes Ampata’s hand and leads her to the dance floor. The crowd magically parts as the two
make their way to the center. All eyes are on the couple.
Willow stands alone off to one side.
Ampata dances slowly with Xander, full of quiet joy. It’s a true Cinderella moment.
ANGLE: THE BAND
as they continue to play an instrumental portion of a song. Oz is looking into the crowd,
uncharacteristically riveted. He moves to Devon.
Who is that?
She’s an exchange student. From
No. The Eskimo.
We FOLLOW HIS GAZE to Willow, who is swaying (or, more accurately, weeble-ing) to the music.
INT. GILES’ CAR – NIGHT
Buffy studies the seal as Giles drives.
Unless she gets a continual supply of
victims, Ampata will return forever to
her frozen mummy state.
She did say she wanted to meet lots
And she’s going to need to meet
another one soon.
So much for her normal life of fun
and dating and-
(it hits her)
Giles floors the pedal.
INT. BRONZE – NIGHT
Xander and Ampata are slow dancing. Staring deeply. She clasps her hands behind his head. He
leans in for a kiss.
ANGLE: AMPATA’S FINGERTIPS
suddenly wither and freeze-dry. Horrified, she pulls away. Hides her hands behind her back. Smiles,
scared. Xander, hesitant, smiles back.
She runs into the crowd. Xander’s bewildered.
Okay. At least I can rule out,
‘Something I said.’
Ampata struggles through the crowd, past Willow, searching desperately for her next victim. She
looks at her fingers. They wither to the knuckle.
A LONE MALE STUDENT, JONATHAN, looks around. Nods his head to the music. Ampata heads toward
INT. GILES’ CAR – NIGHT
The car speeds along.
I should’ve guessed. Remember?
Ampata wanted us to hide the seal.
And then she wanted us to destroy it,
A long beat as Giles thinks something through.
We already know that the seal was
used to contain the mummy.
What? You mean that, if breaking
the seal freed her-
–reassembling it will trap her.
The car SCREECHES to a stop. Giles takes the seal.
I’ll go to the museum. Piece
together the fragments there.
I’ll stop Ampata. Before she gives
Xander the kiss of death.
She opens the car door and starts to get out.
I will. Besides, I’ve got the element
of surprise. Ampata still doesn’t
know my secret identity.
Buffy slams the door as Giles shifts his car into gear.
INT. BRONZE – NIGHT
Xander runs to Willow.
You seen Ampata?
Willow tries lifting her arms to shrug. Bulky costume.
What was that?
Next time you should probably
He runs off. Willow stands there.
listening, enraptured, to Sven, as he now chats away.
I thought this exchange student thing
would be a great deal. But look what
I got stuck with. ‘Momento’? ‘Punchy
fruity drinky?’ Is Cordelia even from
INT. BACKSTAGE – NIGHT
Ampata strokes Jonathon’s hair. He’s nervous.
Your hands feel kind of… rough.
Ampata’s gnarled hands grab the hair on the back of his head.
Aren’t you with Xander?
Do I look like I am with Xander?
She closes in for the kiss.
Whoa! That’s my cue to leave.
He bails. Ampata breathes heavily in frustration. Xander rounds a corner.
There you are.
(going to her)
Why did you run away?
Because I… I do not deserve you.
Xander gasps, can barely contain his disbelief.
Ha! Wh-You think you don’t…
(pointing back and forth)
…that I would think…
Man, I love you!
Xander stops, mortified at what he said. Ampata pulls away.
Uh, I mean… well, I guess…
Ampata looks up at him. She’s crying.
Are those tears of joy? Pain? Revulsion?
I am very happy. And very sad.
Xander pulls back a bit, confused.
Then talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.
Ampata buries her sobbing face on his shoulder.
Ampata hugs Xander tightly.
I know why you can’t tell me. It’s
a secret, right?
Ampata looks up sadly from his shoulder. Nods yes. Xander smiles. Tries to ease the tension.
And if you told me, you’d have
to kill me?
She starts crying again.
Okay. Bad joke. Deliver was off,
too. I’m sorry, I-
They look at each other. Xander’s lips move closer.
CLOSE: THEIR LIPS MILLIMETERS APART
Ampata swept away in the moment. Their lips touch. And they KISS. Lightly. Then, more
passionately. Until Ampata grabs Xander’s head, holding him.
CLOSE UP: XANDER’S EYES OPEN WIDE WITH SHOCK.
END OF ACT THREE
INT. BACKSTAGE – NIGHT
Ampata is still kissing Xander as he fights for air. Ampata opens her yes. Breaks away from the kiss,
Xander drops to his knees. Face drawn. Reeling, like half his life’s been sucked out.
INT. NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM – BURIAL CHAMBER – NIGHT
Giles kneels on top of the step pyramid. Arranges the many seal fragments. Reads from the text
‘Inca cosmology unites the bird-head
with its paler twin.’
(studying the seal)
Ah, yes… the paler twin.
He starts to fit together the seal fragments.
INT. BACKSTAGE – SAME TIME
Ampata is kneeling next to Xander, holding him in her arms.
Xander, I am sorry.
Suddenly, she’s jolted. She looks at her arms. The freeze-drying crackles up to her elbows. She lets
go of Xander.
She gets up and runs out the back door.
INT. BRONZE – NIGHT
Buffy enters, goes to Willow.
He was looking for Ampata.
We’ve to find them. Ampata is
Where’d they go?
Backstage, I think.
They race backwards, REVEALING OZ, who was just about to tap Willow on the shoulder. He watches
his little Eskimo disappear.
Who is that girl?
INT. BACKSTAGE – NIGHT
The door from the dance floor bursts open. Buffy and Willow race toward Xander. Sit him up.
Are you all right?
Xander shakes his head, focusing. Takes deep breaths.
I think so.
(touching his jaw)
That was some kiss.
She said something about the seal.
The seal. At the museum. Where
Giles is. She’s gone to stop him.
What’s going on?
Willow looks at him.
He doesn’t know.
We’ll tell him on the way.
Buffy and Willow pull Xander with them out the back door.
INT. NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM – NIGHT
Giles sweats over the seal. Hears a noise. Looks up. The room is empty. Shadows flicker. Giles
returns to his text.
‘The Condor soars… But the prey
is in his talons.’ That’s it!
Giles glues two pieces together. Smiles triumphantly.
in the shadows, grimaces painfully. The skin on her arms is now mummified up to her bare
shoulders. She fights the urge to scream. She moves into the light. Face still beautiful.
EXT. NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM – NIGHT
Buffy, Xander and Willow run into view. Willow has ditched the outfit (parka and mittens) except for
the pants. Xander has most of his strength back.
No. Giles must’ve… researched wrong.
Xander, he didn’t.
But I know Ampata. This can’t be.
She told me… she said…
His voice trails off. Buffy looks at him sadly.
Buffy points up at an open, third-story window.
Listen, you two get to the fire
escape. I’ll take a short cut.
Buffy starts climbing toward the window.
INT. NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM – NIGHT
‘The spondylus shell evokes Mamacocha,
mother of all the water.’
Giles glues in the penultimate fragment. Excited.
Just one more piece.
CLOSE: HIS FINGERS INSERT THE LAST PIECE
when suddenly Ampata’s gnarled hand rips away the seal and hurls it down, SHATTERING it beyond
repair. She grabs Giles by the throat, squeezes him unconscious. Pulls his face in for the kiss.
I’ll say one thing for you Incan mummies-
Ampata turns to see Buffy on the museum floor.
–You don’t kiss and tell.
Buffy does a forward HANDSPRING up the step pyramid, landing in front of a startled Ampata.
Looks like you’ve been keeping
some secrets from me.
Ampata drops Giles’ unconscious body into the sarcophagus hole, as she and Buffy square off against
You’re not a normal girl.
She LUNGES for Buffy’s throat with her two mummified arms. Buffy looks at them, repulsed.
Oh, and you are?
They struggle, rolling toward the open sarcophagus. Ampata’s face gets closer for the kiss. Buffy
headbutts Ampata. Ampata stagger backwards.
Buffy charges. Ampata uses Buffy’s momentum to hurl Buffy into the sarcophagus.
I shared your life-
BUFFY’S POV: THE SARCOPHAGUS LID
Slides shut overhead. Blackness.
–Now you’ll share my death.
Ampata desperately grabs her neck, as the mummification advances. She races down the steps,
running smack into:
Willow. Petrified. Ampata clasps her hand around Willow’s throat.
POV: AMPATA’S FACE
This won’t hurt.
Let her go.
Ampata looks around. Xander is there.
If you’re going to kiss anybody, it
should be me.
Ampata looks at Xander for a beat, then back at Willow.
Pitch black. We hear a stone slab being moved. A SHAFT OF LIGHT comes in through a crack, and we
see Buffy in the sarcophagus, straining to move the stone lid aside.
INT. NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM – BURIAL CHAMBER – CONTINUOUS
Xander approaches Ampata. Tears well up in her eyes.
Xander, we can be together. Just
let me have this one.
Xander looks at her still-beautiful face.
That’s never gonna happen.
I must do this, now, or it is the
end. For me and for us.
She moves in for Willow.
Xander steps between them, pushing Willow back to safety.
You want life, you’re gonna have
to take mine. Can you do that?
There is fear and confusion in her face – and then it is gone. Replaced by something colder.
She lunges at him.
ANGLE: THE SARCOPHAGUS LID
as it is tossed aside. Buffy pops out, then hurls herself from the top of the pyramid.
Xander struggles to hold Mummy Ampata away as Buffy appears.
Buffy KICKS Mummy Ampata. She FLIES though the air and SLAMS onto the stone pyramid steps.
The mummy SHATTERS on impact. Nothing but dust.
Willow goes to Xander. He looks up at her; tries to smile. She smiles back, starts to help him to his
feet. Buffy helps Giles out of the sarcophagus. The two of them head over to join the others.
PULL BACK AND AWAY as the four of them walk out together.
EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD – THE NEXT DAY
Buffy and Xander walk together, Buffy sipping a soda. They are quiet for a while. She offers him a
sip, he shakes his head.
I’m really the fun talking guy today,
We don’t have to talk.
I just… Present company excluded,
I have the worst taste in women. Of
anyone. In the world. Ever.
Ampata wasn’t evil. At least not to
start with. And I do think she cared
Yeah, but I think the whole sucking-
the-life-out-of-people thing would
have been a strain on the relationship.
She was gypped. She was just a girl
and she had her life taken from her.
I remember when I heard the prophesy
that I was going to die. I wasn’t exactly
obsessed with doing the right thing.
But you did. You gave up your life.
I had you to bring me back.
They smile at each other, then settle back into a comfortable silence.
In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against
the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.
Outside the museum. Buffy, Willow and Xander are walking past the rose
gardens toward the building.
Buffy: This is so unfair.
Willow: I don’t think it’s that bad.
Buffy: It’s the Ueber-suck. Mom could’ve at least warned me.
Xander: Well, a lot of parents are doing it this year. It’s part of
this whole cultural exchange magilla. The exhibit, the dance…
Willow: I have the best costume for the dance!
Buffy: A complete stranger in my house for two weeks. I’m gonna be
insane! A danger to myself and others within three days, I swear.
Xander: I think the exchange student program’s cool. (gets a look from
Buffy) I do! It’s a beautiful melding of two cultures.
Buffy: Have you ever done an exchange program?
Xander: My dad tried to send me to some Armenians once. Does that
They climb the steps to the building entrance and the cultural exchange
exhibit. Cut inside. Cordelia and two other girls are looking over the
pictures of the exchange students.
Cordelia: Ooo! There’s mine! Sven. Isn’t he lunchable? Mine’s
definitely the best.
She walks past Buffy.
Buffy: What’re you lookin’ at?
Cordelia: Pictures of our exchange students. Look. 100% Swedish, 100%
gorgeous, 100% staying at my house! So, how’s yours? Visually, I mean.
Buffy: I don’t know. Guy like?
Xander: By guy-like we are talking big, beefy, guy-like girl, right?
Buffy: I was just told ‘guy’.
Cordelia: You didn’t look at him first? He could be dogly. You live on
the edge. (walks off)
Xander: Hold on a sec. So, this person who’s living with you for two
weeks is a man. With man parts. This is a terrible idea.
Willow: What about the beautiful melding of two cultures?
Xander: There’s no melding, okay? He better keep his parts to himself.
They stop at the end of a row of display cases, and Buffy notices Rodney
scraping a mask.
Buffy: What’s he doing?
Xander: Uh, that’s Rodney Munson. He’s God’s gift to the bell curve.
Another student goes up to Rodney and gets growled at.
Xander: What he lacks in smarts he makes up in lack of smarts.
Willow: You just don’t like him ’cause of that time he beat you up
every day for five years.
Buffy giggles to herself.
Xander: Yeah. I’m irrational that way.
Buffy: (smiles) I better stop him before he gets in trouble.
Willow: I got it. The non-violent approach is probably better here.
(goes over to Rodney)
Buffy: I wasn’t gonna use violence. I don’t always use violence. (looks
up at Xander) Do I?
Xander: The important thing is you believe that.
Cut to Rodney. He’s still scraping the mask.
Rodney: What’re you… (looks up) Oh. Willow, hi.
Willow: That’s probably not something you’re supposed to be doing. You
could get in trouble.
Rodney: (facetiously) Oh, no. And they might kick me outta school?
Willow: (smiles) Are we still on for our chem tutorial tomorrow?
Rodney: Yeah. I think I got almost all fourteen natural elements
Willow: There’re a hundred and three.
Rodney suddenly looks worried. Cut to the museum guide.
Guide: Welcome, students. We shall now proceed into the Incan burial
chamber. The human sacrifice is about to begin.
Cut to the entry to the Inca exhibit. They all walk in.
Xander: Typical museum trick. Promise human sacrifice, deliver old pots
Guide: Five hundred years ago, the Incan people chose a beautiful
teenage girl to become their princess.
They take the steps up to a platform where the Incan stone coffin and
mummy are on display.
Willow: I hope this story ends with, ‘And she lived happily ever
Xander: (looks into the coffin) No, I think it ends with, ‘And she
became a scary, discolored, shriveled mummy.’
Guide: The Incan people sacrificed their princess to the mountain god
Sebancaya, an offering buried alive for eternity in this dark tomb.
Willow: They could’ve at least wrapped her in those nice white
bandages, like in the movies?
Guide: The princess remained there protected only by a cursed seal
placed there (points to the plate in the mummy’s hands) as a warning to
any who would wake her.
Cordelia and a few other girls are still looking at the exchange student
pictures and laughing.
Xander: So, Buffy, when’s exchange-o boy making his appearance?
Buffy: His name’s Ampata. Gonna be at the bus station tomorrow night.
Xander: Ooo. The Sunnydale bus depot. Classy! What a better way to
introduce someone to our country than with the stench of urine.
Guide: Now, if you’ll follow me this way, please.
They all walk past the coffin and follow the guide to the next
destination on the tour.
Cut to later. The exhibit is deserted now except for Rodney, who
cautiously looks around and makes his way back up to the mummy. He looks
into the stone coffin and sees the plate with the seal.
Rodney: Aha. Cool.
He reaches in and yanks at the plate, trying to wrest it from the
mummy’s grip. He gets it out of one hand, and yanks it hard to get it
out of the other. It comes loose, and he pulls it up too fast, breaking
it against the side of the coffin.
Rodney: Oh! Damn!
He reaches in to collect the pieces. The mummy’s arms reach up and grab
him by the neck. Its eyelids open to reveal empty sockets as it pulls
him in closer.
Opening credits roll. Buffy’s theme plays.
~ ~ Part 1 ~ ~
Sunnydale High. Students are arriving for school. Cut to the library.
Buffy and Giles are training. Xander is studying at the table.
Buffy: So, can I go?
Giles: I think not.
Buffy lands four hard hits on the training pad Giles is holding. He
flinches at her blows, and after she’s done puts the pad down in favor
of a much thicker one.
Buffy: (pouts) How come?
Giles: Because you are the Chosen One.
Buffy: Mm. Just this once I’d like to be the Overlooked One.
Giles: Well, I’m… afraid that is not…
Buffy kicks the pad hard, making Giles stagger back a few steps.
Giles: You have responsibilities that other girls do not.
Buffy: Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah,
blah, bity blah, I’m so stuffy, gimme a scone.
Giles: (sarcastically) It’s as if you know me.
Buffy continues kicking. Xander winces at each blow.
Giles: Your secret identity is gonna be difficult enough to maintain
while this exchange student is living with you.
Xander gets up and separates them.
Xander: Nooot… with her. In the same house as her. Am I the only
one who’s objective enough to make that distinction? (goes to the
Buffy: So! I think going to the dance like a normal person would be the
best way to keep that secret. Giles, come on, budge! No one likes a non-
Giles doesn’t say a word. She steps back and comes at him for an
especially hard kick.
Buffy stops her kick at the last instant.
Buffy: (smiles) Yay! I win.
Giles: I’ll just go and introduce my shoulder to a, an icepack.
Xander: (hops off of the counter) So, I guess we’re dance-bound. Cool.
I think I can get my mom’s car, so I’m wheel man.
Buffy: I thought you were taking Willow.
Xander: Well, yeah, I’m gonna take Willow, but I’m not gonna take
Willow. In the sense of ‘take me’. See, with you we’re three and
everybody’s safe. Without you, we’re two.
Buffy: Ah, and we enter dateville. Romance, flowers…
Willow comes into the library, but Xander’s back is to the door so he
doesn’t see her. Buffy pretends not to notice her.
Buffy: Oh, come on. In all the years you’ve know Willow, you’ve never
thought about her lips?
Xander: Buffy, I love Willow.
Willow smiles widely.
Xander: And she’s my best friend. Which makes her not the kind of girl
who I think about her lips that much.
Willow’s smile fades to disappointment.
Xander: She’s the kind of girl that… I’m best friends with.
Willow: Hey guys.
Xander: Willow! (goes to her) Hi! We were just talkin’ about happy
He puts his arm around her and pulls her over to Buffy at the table.
Xander: Like the three of us going to the dance together. See? (laughs)
Willow isn’t smiling.
Xander: Not happy.
Willow: No. Uh, oh, y-yes. No. Rodney’s missing.
Giles: (comes out of his office with an ice pack) Trouble with Mr.
Munson again? (puts it on his shoulder)
Willow: His parents say he never came home last night.
Buffy: Y’know, I don’t think I remember seeing Rodney on the bus back
from the field trip.
Willow: I didn’t either. I hope he didn’t get in trouble at the museum.
Xander: (chuckles) Hey, maybe he awakened the mummy.
Willow: (giggles) Right, and it rose from its tomb.
Buffy: (smiles) And attacked him. (nods)
Their smiles fade as they all realize that that may not be so far-
Cut to the Inca exhibit at the museum. They all come walking in.
Willow: On the other hand, maybe Rodney just stepped out for a smoke.
Xander: For twenty-one hours?
Willow: It’s addictive, you know.
Giles: We’ll deal with that when we’ve… ruled out evil curses.
They climb the steps to the platform where the coffin is on display.
Buffy: One day I’m gonna live in a town where evil curses are just
generally ruled out without even saying.
Giles: There was a seal?
Buffy steps up to the coffin and looks in.
Buffy: It was right here. And it’s broken. (picks up the largest piece)
Willow: Does that mean the mummy’s loose?
Buffy: No, comfy as ever. (hands the piece to Giles)
Giles: Look at this series of pictograms.
A man comes out of nowhere and yells, jumps up behind Xander and swings
at him with a knife. Xander ducks the blow and gets behind him. The man
swings back the other way again blindly, looks into the coffin and is
surprised by what he sees there. Xander jumps onto the man’s back. He
knocks Xander off, and runs off of the platform and away. Xander quickly
Xander: Okay, I just saved us, right?
Buffy: Something did.
Giles: Well, we’ll fret about the details later. Let’s just get out of
here before he comes back.
They all hurry down the steps to leave except Willow, who’s noticed
something about the mummy.
Willow: Giles, were the Incas very advanced?
Giles: Yes, yes, very.
Willow: Did they have orthodontists?
Cut to the mummy. There are metal braces on its teeth.
Cut to the library. They all come in.
Willow: Rodney looked like he had been dead for five hundred years. How
could that be?
Xander: Maybe we should ask that crazy man with the big old knife.
Buffy: I don’t think he seemed overly chatty.
Willow: The way he bolted when he saw Rodney, I’d say he was as freaked
as we were.
Giles: My resources on this subject are extremely limited. I-I gather
that this particular mummy was from the Sebancaya region of eastern
Peru. It’s very remote. Now, if there’s an answer, then it’s, it’s
locked in the…
Buffy: …in the seal.
Giles: (looks at the seal) It’s gonna take me weeks to… translate
these pictograms. Well, we’ll start tonight with…
Giles: I was gonna suggest hunting.
Buffy: No, I’m late. I told my mom I’d pick him up.
Xander: Uh-uh-uh, Buffy? Where are your priorities? Tracking down a
mummifying killer or making time for some Latin lover whose stock in
trade is the breakage of hearts?
Buffy: Ampata’s there alone. And I-I don’t know how good his English
is. He’s here from South A… South America. Hey, y’know, maybe he could
translate the seal.
Xander: Oh, yeah. Fall for the old ‘let me translate that ancient seal
for ya’ come on. Tsh. D’ya know how many times I’ve used that?
Cut to the bus stations. Ampata is standing there alone waiting and
looking around for his ride. He hears a whisper.
He starts walking in the direction of the voice, passing several parked
busses. He hears the voice again, louder this time.
He walks between two busses, looking around for whoever it is.
He sees the mummy come toward him, and is surprised and frightened but
doesn’t scream or yell. The mummy reaches out, grabs him by the neck,
pulls him in and kisses him. Ampata begins to shrivel and dry up as the
mummy draws his life force from him.
Cut to later. Buffy, Willow and Xander arrive at the bus station and
look for him.
Buffy: Forty minutes late. Welcome to America!
Willow: What if he left already?
Willow finds the door to the station building locked.
Buffy: (calls out) Ampata? Ampata Gutierrez?
Xander: So, do we have to speak Spanish when we see him? ‘Cause I don’t
know anything much besides Doritos and Chihuahua.
The mummy had regained her appearance of a young teenage girl. She comes
walking out from between two busses.
Xander is instantly taken with her beauty. She comes over and stands
Ampata: I am Ampata.
Xander: Ay caramba! I can also say that!
Buffy and Willow are also surprised to find that Ampata is a girl.
Willow looks up at Xander and sees how he’s looking at her.
~ ~ Part 2 ~ ~
The Summers house. Buffy is showing Ampata around the house.
Buffy: Dining room…
They come into the kitchen from the dining room.
Buffy: And this (turns on the light) is the kitchen.
Ampata: (amazed) It’s very good!
Buffy: Yeah, you got your stove, your fridge, it’s fully functional.
We’re very into it.
Xander: (slow and over-pronounced) Would you like a drink? (gestures)
Buffy: (opens the fridge) Uh, let’s see, we’ve got milk, and, uh, oh,
older milk… Juice?
Willow: So, Ampata. You’re a girl.
Ampata: Yes. For many years now.
Willow: And not a boy, ’cause we thought a boy was coming, and here ya
are in a girl way!
Xander: It’s just one of those crazy mix-ups, Will.
Buffy: So, have you ever been to America before? (sets out glasses)
Ampata: Uh, I, I have toured.
Xander: (slow English again) Where did… you go?
Buffy gives Willow a look, and goes to get something to munch on as
Willow pours the juice.
Ampata: I was taken to Atlanta, Boston, New York.
Willow: New York! That’s exciting. What was that like?
Ampata: I did not see so much.
Xander: Your English is… very bueno.
Buffy and Willow exchange another look at Xander’s deliberately slow
Ampata: I listened much.
Xander: Well, that works out well, because I talk much. (they laugh)
Cut to later in Buffy’s room. Ampata sits down on her bed, surprised at
the springiness of it.
Buffy: Hey! Sorry about the teeniness of the room.
Ampata: My old one was much smaller.
Buffy: (sits on her bed) What’s it like back home?
Ampata: Cramped, and… very dead.
Buffy: Well, you’ll feel right at home in Sunnydale.
Ampata: Oh, no! Ohhhh! (gets up) But… but you have so much here!
(picks up a picture)
Buffy: How ’bout friends?
Ampata: They are… (puts the picture down) It is just me.
Buffy: I’ve been there. But, hey! You’ll meet lots of people tomorrow.
Ampata: Thank you. (goes back to her bed) You must teach me everything
about your life. I want to fit in, Buffy. Just like you. A normal life.
Buffy: One normal life. Comin’ up.
She reaches over to turn off her light. Cut outside. The man from the
museum is hidden there looking in through the window from the bushes.
Cut to outside the school the next morning. Cordelia and Devon come down
some stairs to Oz’s van.
Cordelia: Devon, I told you I’d be at the dance tonight, but I am not
one of your little groupies. I won’t be all doe-eyed looking up at you,
standing at the edge of the stage.
Devon: Got it.
Cordelia: So, I’ll see you afterwards?
Devon: Sure. Where do you wanna meet?
Cordelia: I’ll be standing at the edge of the stage.
Devon: (looks over at Sven) With that guy?
Cordelia: (looks also) Sven! Momento! Needa! (to Devon) This whole
student exchange thing has been a horrible nightmare. They don’t even
speak American. So, I’ll see you later? (she allows him a kiss on the
She starts back up the stairs toward the school. She turns back when she
notices that Sven isn’t following.
Cordelia: Sven! Come?
Sven starts to follow her. Devon smirks and goes over to Oz, who’s
dealing with their equipment.
Devon: Oz, man! What do you think?
Oz: Of what?
Devon: Cordelia, man!
Oz: She’s a wonderland tour.
Devon: You gotta admit, the girl is hot!
Oz: Yeah, she’s a hot girl.
Devon: Let me guess: not your type? What does a girl have to do to
Oz: Well, it involves a feathered boa and a theme to ‘A Summer Place’.
I can’t discuss it here.
Devon: You’re too picky, man. Do you know how many girls you could
have? You’re lead guitar, Oz. It’s currency!
Oz: I’m not picky. You’re just impressed by any pretty girl that can
walk and talk.
Devon: She doesn’t have to talk.
Oz just smirks.
Cut to Willow and Xander walking.
Willow: I worked really hard on my costume. It’s pretty cool.
Xander: Okay, but what about me? I’ve gotta think.
Willow: Well, it’s a celebration of cultures. There are lots of dress-
Xander: And a corresponding equal number of mocking alternatives. All
aimed at me.
Willow: Bavarians are cool.
Xander: Okay, no shirts with ruffles, no hats with feathers and
definitely no lederhosen. They make my calves look fat.
Willow: Why are you suddenly so worried about looking like an idiot?
That came out wrong.
Xander didn’t take offense because he’s too busy looking at Buffy and
Ampata arriving for school. Willow notices and looks also. Cut to Buffy
Buffy: Your first day of school. Nervous?
Ampata: It is just more people than I have seen in a long time.
Buffy: Ah, don’t worry. You will have no problems making friends. As a
matter of fact, I know someone who’s dying to meet you.
Cut to the library. Giles gets right to it.
Giles: (shakes her hand, smiles) How do you do?
Giles: I was, I was wondering if you could, um, translate this? (shows
her the seal)
Buffy: That was in no way awkward.
Ampata takes it and looks at it in disbelief.
Buffy: Something wrong?
Ampata: Uh, No! Uh, it is… Uh, why are you asking me?
Giles: Well, uh, uh… (coughs) It’s, well, it’s an artifact… from,
from, uh, your… region. I-it’s, uh, from the tomb of a-an Incan mummy,
a-a-actually. We were trying to translate it, uh, um, as a-a project for
Willow: Our archeology club.
Giles: (impressed with her quick thinking) Very good.
Ampata: It is broken. Where are the other pieces?
Buffy: That’s all we found.
Ampata: Hmm. It is very old and valuable. (to Giles, holding the seal
out to him) You should hide it!
Giles: Is, is, uh, anything you recognize here? Um, um, this, this,
um… this ch-chap here with the knife, for instance?
Ampata: Well, I-I do not know exactly, but… I-I-I think this
represents, I believe the word is… ‘bodyguard’?
Giles: (takes the seal) Bodyguard? Interesting.
Ampata: Legend has it that he guards the mummy against those who would
Giles: Well, uh, yes, well, that’s, um, that’s a very good starting
point for our, um… club. (looks at Buffy) Um…
Buffy: Oh, and, uh, a-as club president, I have, um, lots to do. Lots
of… stuff. Dull stuff. Uh, oh, Willow, maybe you could…
Xander: Stay with Ampata for the day. I’d love to. (bows slightly and
Ampata: (smiles) Yes! That will be fun.
Xander gestures for Ampata to go ahead of him. As she walks out he turns
to Buffy and Willow, lets out a breath, and follows her. Willow watches
Giles: Right. I’ll, uh, continue with the translation. Buffy, you
research this, uh, bodyguard thing, and, uh, Willow… (turns around)
Willow: (still staring after them) Boy. They really like each other.
Cut to the bleachers on the football field. Xander and Ampata are
sitting about two-thirds of the way up.
Xander: And this (reaches into his satchel) is called a snack food.
(holds up a Twinkie)
Ampata: Snack food?
Xander: Yeah. It’s a delicious, spongy, golden cake stuffed with a
delightful creamy, white substance of goodness. And here’s how you eat
He stuffs the whole thing into his mouth. Ampata laughs at the sight.
Ampata: Oh, but now I cannot try it.
Xander: (with a full mouth) That’s why you bring two.
He produces another one from his bag and hands it to her.
Ampata: Oh! (studies it) Here goes!
She pulls her windswept hair back from her face and proceeds to stuff
most of the Twinkie into her mouth. She laughs with delight.
Xander: (mouth still full) Good, huh? And the exciting part is that
they have no ingredients that a human can pronounce. So it doesn’t leave
you with that heavy… food feeling in your stomach.
She squeals with laughter.
Ampata: (mouth full) You are strange.
Xander: Girls always tell me that. Right before they run away.
Ampata: I like it!
Xander: I like you like it!
She can’t help but laugh more at that.
Xander: Please, don’t learn from my English.
Cut to the library. Buffy is inspecting the seal under a magnifying
Buffy: Ha! Or possible ha. (to Willow) Do you think this matches?
Willow is off in her own world, idly playing with her stuffed frog.
Willow: Oh! Yes. I’m caring about mummies.
Buffy: Ampata’s only staying two weeks.
Willow: Yeah. And then Xander can find someone else who’s not me to
obsess about. At least with you I knew he didn’t have a shot. Well, you
know, I have a choice. I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out
with every other girl in the world until he notices me, or I can just
get on with my life.
Buffy: Good for you.
Willow: Well, I didn’t choose yet.
Giles: (inspecting the seal) Good Lord! (to Buffy) Good work!
Buffy: My work?
Giles: Yes. This is most illuminating. It seems Rodney’s killer might
be the mummy.
Willow: Where does it say that?
Giles: Well, here. It implies that the mummy is capable of… feeding
on the life force of a person, effectively freeze-drying them, you might
Buffy: So, then we just have to stop the mummy. Which leads to the
question: how do we a) find, and b) stop the mummy?
Giles: Well, the answer to that is somewhere still in here. Or in the
rest of the seal.
Cut outside to the bleachers. The bodyguard attacks Xander with his
large knife. Ampata screams as she and Xander quickly move apart and the
knife hits the seat between them.
Bodyguard: You stole the seal! Where is it?!
He swings again, but Xander scoots back more and then rolls down two
levels of seats. The bodyguard comes at him again and tries to stab him,
but Xander catches his arm and stops him. Ampata screams again. The
bodyguard looks back at her and recognizes her.
Bodyguard: It is you!
Xander kicks him off, and he rolls down the bleachers and to the ground.
Ampata grabs Xander’s satchel, helps him up and they run away.
Cut to the library. Giles comes out of his office with a cup of tea, and
sets it on the table in front of Ampata.
Giles: Here you are.
Ampata: Thank you.
Willow: Why’s this guy so into us? I mean, what’s he want?
Xander: He said, ‘Give me the seal.’
Giles: Apparently this is more popular than we realized. I just don’t
know what we, we should do with it.
Ampata: Destroy it. (gets a surprised look from Giles) If you do not,
someone could die.
Giles: I’m afraid someone already has.
Ampata: You mean the man with the knife killed someone?
Buffy: Uh, no. Well, not exactly.
Ampata: You are not telling me everything. (looks at them all)
Xander: You’re right, Ampata. (takes her hand) And it’s time we do.
We’re not an archeology club. We’re in, uh…
Giles interrupts by clearing his throat. Buffy gives him a stern look.
Xander: We’re in the crime club. Which is kinda like the chess club,
only with crime, and, um… no chess.
Ampata: Please understand me. That seal nearly got us killed. It must
She gets up and runs from the library. A moment later Xander gets up and
runs out after her.
Buffy and Willow look at each other a bit surprised and confused.
Cut to the hall. Ampata is sitting on a bench. Xander crouches down
Xander: Ampata, listen to me. Nobody’s gonna hurt you. I won’t let
Ampata: Your investigation is dangerous. I do not want that. Just
She gets up and goes over to the drinking fountain. Xander stands back
up and follows her, but stays back and lets her drink. Willow comes out
of the library.
Willow: Is she okay?
Xander: Wigged. I’m tryin’ to convince her that our lives aren’t just
danger and peril around here.
Willow looks over at Ampata sympathetically, then back to Xander.
Willow: You should take her to the dance.
Xander: That’s a good idea! We’ll all go!
Willow: No, I mean just you.
Xander: But you were psyched! And your costume!
Willow: I’ll see you there.
Xander: You know what, Willow? You’re my best friend.
He goes over to Ampata.
Willow: I know. (walks off)
Cut to the library.
Buffy: I don’t get it. Why would the bodyguard have such a jones for a
broken piece of rock?
Giles: Well, um, perhaps… he needs to put it together with the other
Buffy: If he has them. I mean, we didn’t find them.
Giles: And if he didn’t then, then they’d still be at the museum.
Buffy: So, maybe we should go there and find them. And odds are he’ll
show up, too, right?
Giles: And hopefully we’ll be ready.
Buffy: Hey! Look at us! We came up with a plan. A good plan.
Giles: Alright. We’ll meet there tonight after it closes.
Buffy: No! Bad plan. I have other plans. Dance plans. (gets a stern
look from Giles) (exhales) Canceled plans.
Cut to the stairs in the halls. Xander and Ampata are coming down.
Xander: Okay, I have something to tell you. And it’s kind of a secret,
and it’s, um, a little bit scary. I like you. A lot. And I want you to
go to with me the dance.
Ampata: (laughs) Why was that so scary?
Xander: Well, because you never know if a girl’s gonna say ‘yes’, or
if… she’s gonna laugh in your face and pull out your still beating
heart and crush it into the ground with her heel.
Ampata: Hmm. Then you are very courageous. Can I tell you a secret?
Ampata: I like you, too.
Xander: That’s great! Really?
Xander: That’s great! You’re not a praying mantis, are you? (gets a
confused look from her) Sorry, someone else.
Ampata: I will return to you. (starts away)
Xander: Where’re you going?
Ampata: Where you cannot follow.
He’s confused but smiles when he sees her open the girls’ restroom door.
Xander: I’ll wait outside. (smiles)
He sits down on a bench to wait.
Cut inside the restroom. Ampata touches up her lipstick. She steps back
from the mirror and sees the bodyguard standing behind her.
Ampata: I beg you… (turns to face him) Do not kill me.
Bodyguard: You are already dead. For five hundred years.
Ampata: But it was not fair. I was innocent.
Bodyguard: The people you kill now so that you may live, they are
Ampata: Please! I am in love!
Bodyguard: You are the Chosen One. You must die. You have no choice.
He takes a swing at her with his knife. She grabs his arm and twists,
forcing him around and pulling him in to her. He looks up at her as she
puts her arm around his neck and pulls him in for a kiss.
Ampata: Yes, I do.
She kisses him and he mummifies in her arms as she draws out his life
force. Cut to the hall. Xander is waiting patiently. Ampata comes back
out smiling, and Xander stands up.
Ampata: I have thought. The dance?
Xander nods expectantly.
Ampata: I will go with you.
Xander breaks into a big smile and laughs delightedly.
Xander takes her by the hand, and they start walking down the hall.
~ ~ Part 3 ~ ~
Buffy’s room. Ampata comes in wearing her Inca Princess costume.
Ampata: Buffy, I do not have any lipstick.
She sees a trunk, a large suitcase and a backpack in the room.
Buffy: Oh! You can borrow one of mine. There should be some on the
Ampata: What is that? (indicates the trunk)
Buffy: The station sent the rest of your stuff.
Ampata: Oh. Of, of course. I, I forgot all about it. Uh, I will unpack
Buffy: No worries. I can do it.
Ampata: Uh, but… you must get ready for the dance!
Buffy: I’m not going.
Ampata: Why not?
Buffy: I have work to do. Crime club work. It’s really nothing for you
to worry about. (sits on her bed)
Ampata: Oh, I am not worried, thanks to Xander. (goes to the desk)
Buffy: He seems very happy around you.
Ampata: (sits at the desk) I am happy, too.
She opens a lipstick and holds it up for an opinion.
Ampata: Mm, this one?
Buffy: Ooo, no, that clashes. There should be a gold one in there
Ampata: Thank you. You are always thinking of others before yourself.
You remind me of someone from very long ago: the Inca Princess.
Buffy: Cool! A princess.
She gets up from her bed and opens Ampata’s backpack while Ampata tries
out a lipstick.
Ampata: They told her that she was the only one. That only she could
defend her people from the nether world.
Buffy pulls out a pair of boy’s briefs and looks at them in confusion.
Ampata: Out of all the girls in her generation…
Buffy looks over at Ampata and sees she’s about to open the top left
drawer where she keeps her Slayer stuff. She rushes over. Ampata pulls
open the drawer and looks in curiously.
Ampata: …she was the only one…
Buffy quickly pushes the drawer closed.
Ampata: (looks up at Buffy) Do you know the story?
Buffy: It’s fairly familiar. (hands her the gold lipstick)
Ampata: She was sixteen, like us. She was offered as a sacrifice and
went to her death. Who knows what she had to give up to fulfill her duty
to others? What chance at love?
Buffy: Who knows? (goes back to Ampata’s trunk) I’ll just unpack the
rest of your stuff for you. (lifts the lid)
Ampata: No, really, let me…
The doorbell rings and distracts Buffy, so she doesn’t see the mummified
corpse in the trunk.
She lets the lid fall back down as she gets up to get the door.
Buffy: That’s Xander and Willow. I’ll get it.
Ampata kneels down and puts the lock back on the trunk.
Cut downstairs. Buffy hops down and opens the door. Xander comes in
dressed as Clint Eastwood in a spaghetti western.
Xander: I’ve come for the dance.
Buffy: And, uh, what culture are you?
Xander: I’m from the country of Leone. It’s in Italy pretending to be
Montana. (looks Buffy up and down) And where are you from? The country
of White Trash?
Buffy: Mm. New line-up. You and Willow are taking Ampata. Giles and I
are hunting mummies. Where’s you and Willow?
Xander: She’s not coming… with us.
Buffy: Oh! On a date. Romance, lips…
Xander takes off his hat when he sees Ampata appear on the stairs. She
smiles down at him.
Ampata: Hello, Xander.
Xander: Hho hee ze thee ai uh…
Buffy: I can translate American salivating boy talk. He says you’re
Xander: (to Buffy) Hyav su.
Buffy: You’re welcome.
Ampata reaches the bottom of the stairs and stands next to Xander,
beaming a huge smile. Joyce comes in to have a look.
Joyce: Ampata, don’t you look wonderful! Oh, I wish you could talk my
daughter into going with you.
Ampata: I tried, but she is very stubborn.
Joyce: Well, I’m glad someone else sees that.
Buffy gives her mother a look and gets it right back. She turns back to
Xander and Ampata, smiling.
Ampata: Well, good night, then.
Buffy opens the door to let them out. Xander pauses a moment.
Xander: Be careful.
Buffy: I will. (Xander turns to go) Hey! (he turns back) You look good.
Xander gives her a smile and then leaves. Joyce comes over to the door
to watch them go, too.
Joyce: Look at that. Two days in America, and Ampata already seems like
she belongs here. She’s really fitting in. Hmm! (turns and heads up the
Buffy: Yeah. How ’bout that?
Cut to the Bronze. Devon and Oz’s band Dingoes Ate My Baby (Four Star
Mary) are playing “Shadows”.
Lyrics: She’s in ecstasy / Her hollowed sky / Pours down heavenly /
A group of girls enters the Bronze. Cordelia comes in behind them and
stops to look around.
Lyrics: I’ve been living here / In the red / I’ve been feeling I’m /
She spots Willow wearing her Eskimo costume.
Cordelia: Oh! Near faux pas! I almost wore the same thing.
She continues on her way, leaving Willow standing there alone.
Lyrics: We’ve been bored before
Cordelia finds her friend Dawn.
Dawn: Where’s Sven?
Cordelia: Ohhh, I keep trying to ditch him. He’s like one of those dogs
that you leave at the Grand Canyon on vacation? It follows you back
across four states. (Sven finds them) See? My own speechless, human
Lyrics: I have never felt / So alone
Dawn: He’s kinda cute. Maybe it’s nice skippin’ all that small talk.
Cordelia: Small talk? How ’bout simple instruction?
Lyrics: Since the time we left ourselves / Half past gone
Cordelia: (to Sven) Get punchy. (points at him) You! Fruit drinky!
Lyrics: We’ve been living here / Up against the red
Dawn: He can follow me. (takes Sven’s hand and leads him away)
Lyrics: I’ve been feeling I’m / Dead again / We’ve been bored before
Xander and Ampata arrive. He takes her hand.
Lyrics: We’ll be bored again / We’ve been bored before and again
Ampata looks around and sees Willow in her Eskimo outfit as Xander leads
her to the dance floor. Willow is heartbroken to see them together like
Willow: I think I should’ve worn something sexy.
Xander spots her and leads Ampata over to her table.
Willow: Wow. You guys look great.
Ampata: I-I love your costume. It’s, it’s very authentic.
Xander: Yeah, you look, um… snug.
Willow: That’s what I was going for. Where’s Buffy?
Lyrics: She’s in ecstasy / Her hollowed sky
Willow looks around stiffly. She can hardly move in her outfit.
Cut to the Summers house. Buffy opens the door for Giles.
Giles: Thank heavens you’re home. (walks in)
Buffy: Yup! Not at the dance. Not with my friends. Not with a life.
What are you doing here? I thought we were gonna meet at the museum to
find the bodyguard.
Giles: No, he’s already been found. In a school restroom. Mummified.
Buffy: Okay, I don’t get it. Why would the mummy kill her own
Giles: Well, I’ve cross-referenced, and, uh, I’ve looked at the
pictograms anew. He was a guard alright. But it was his job to insure
that the mummy didn’t awaken and escape.
Buffy: So, Ampata translated wrong.
Buffy: Hold on a sec. She was wiggy about the seal from minute one.
Giles: Yes, I suppose she was.
Buffy: Her trunks! (runs up the stairs)
Giles: I beg your pardon?
Cut to Buffy’s room. Giles goes through Ampata’s things.
Giles: It’s certainly all boys’ clothes. Why would a girl pack these?
Buffy tears open the lock on the trunk and lifts the lid.
Buffy: How ’bout this one? What kind of girl travels with a mummified
corpse? And doesn’t even pack a lipstick?
Cut to the Bronze. The band is playing a new song, “Fate”.
Lyrics: Time’s healing, I’m ahead / Find a reason once again / Take a
moment outta time / I’ll be standing back behind
Cut to Xander standing by the stairs with Ampata.
Xander: Do you, um… Would you like to, uh… you know…
Lyrics: On a wing / So outta line
Ampata: I’d love to dance.
He removes his hat and poncho, takes her hand and leads her onto the
Lyrics: Mm, taken in / So outta time
Willow watches longingly as they walk by her. On the dance floor Xander
and Ampata touch hands and slowly intertwine their fingers. Xander
smiles at her. Ampata lets go of Xander’s hand and slowly moves it
around his neck. Cut to the stage. Oz notices a girl in the crowd and
Devon comes over to him.
Oz: That girl. Who is she?
Devon thinks he means Ampata.
Devon: She’s an exchange student. I think she’s from South America.
Oz: No, not her. The Eskimo!
Devon goes back to continue singing. Oz is enamored of Willow.
Lyrics: Sound the season in my head
Cut to Giles’ car.
Buffy: Come on! Can’t you put your foot down?
Giles: It is down.
Buffy: One of these days you’re gonna have to get a grownup car.
Giles grinds the gears. Buffy shakes her head.
Cut to the dance floor. Xander is looking deeply into Ampata’s eyes as
they slow dance.
Lyrics: …so outta time / All it takes is living / I want to fly
Ampata leans her head onto his cheek for a moment.
Lyrics: I’ve never known fate
She pulls her head back and looks back into Xander’s eyes.
Lyrics: I’ve never known your name
They move in to kiss.
Lyrics: I’ve never known fate
As they are about to meet, Ampata notices her hand begin to mummify
again and pulls back. Xander looks at her in wide-eyed confusion. The
song is almost over. She quickly takes her arms off of his shoulders and
rushes off. Xander stares after her, thoroughly confused.
Xander: Okay, at least I can rule out something I said.
Lyrics: Someone take me home / Get me outta here
Ampata reaches the edge of the crowd and looks round. She sees Jonathon
sitting alone on the stairs.
Cut to Giles’ car.
Buffy: I should’ve guessed. Remember Ampata wanted us to hide the seal?
Giles: And then she wanted us to destroy it becau… Oh wait!
Buffy: Uh, waiting…
Giles: Well, we already know that the seal was used to contain the
mummy. If breaking it freed her…
Buffy: …reassembling it will trap her.
Giles: I’ll go to the museum. I’ll drop you off. I’ll try to piece
together the fragments there.
Buffy: Okay, I’ll still get Xander. Before he gets smoochy with Mummy
Cut to the Bronze. Xander comes off of the dance floor and stops by
Xander: Have you seen Ampata? (Willow shrugs) What was that?
Willow: I shrugged.
Xander: Next time you should probably say ‘shrug’. (walks off looking)
Willow: (watches him go) Sigh.
Sven and Dawn walk by in front of her.
Sven: I thought this exchange student thing would be a great deal.
But look what I got stuck with! ‘Momento!’ ‘Punchy fruity drinky!’ Is
Cordelia even from this country?
Cut to a back room. Ampata has led Jonathon backstage. She takes off his
hat and strokes his hair and cheek.
Jonathon: Your hands feel kinda… rough.
More of her skin is reverting to its mummy form. She moves in for a
Jonathon: Aren’t you with Xander?
Ampata: (whispers) Does it look like I’m with Xander?
They move in to kiss. Xander calls out, looking for her.
Jonathon pulls away from her and grabs his hat.
Jonathon: That’s my cue to leave.
He runs from the room. She stands by the window, looking out. Xander
Xander: There you are. Why’d you run away?
She slowly turns to face him.
Ampata: Because… I do not deserve you.
Xander: What, you think that you don’t deserve me? (laughs) Man, I love
She sheds a few tears and looks up at him sorrowfully. His smile fades.
Xander: Are those tears of joy? Pain? Revulsion? (comes closer)
Ampata: (crying) I am very happy. And very sad.
Xander: Then talk to me. Let me know what’s wrong.
Ampata: I can’t!
She hugs him and cries into his shoulder.
Xander: Hey, I know why you can’t tell me. (pushes her away to look at
her) It’s a secret, right? (she nods) And if you told me, you’d have to
kill me. (smiles)
She doesn’t think it’s funny, and hugs him again, crying even harder.
Xander: Oh! That was a bad joke. And the delivery was off, too. I’m
sorry. (pushes her away again) I, uh…
He strokes her hair and face gently.
Xander: I’m sorry.
They kiss gently yet tentatively. She reaches her arm around his head
and pulls him closer for a harder kiss. His eyes go wide with shock and
surprise as he feels his life force begin to drain.
~ ~ Part 4 ~ ~
The back room at the Bronze. Xander’s life force continues to drain.
Suddenly Ampata breaks off the kiss, letting Xander fall to the floor.
Ampata: No! I can’t.
Xander is drained of strength and takes quick, short breaths. She kneels
down and pulls him around, laying his head in her lap.
Ampata: Xander, I’m so sorry.
Cut to the museum. Giles is reading from a book while assembling the
Giles: ‘Incan Cosmology unites the bird head with its paler twin.’
(looks around for the proper piece) Um… Oh! Here. Its paler twin.
He tries the fit of the piece, and it’s a match.
Cut to the back room at the Bronze. Ampata senses something is wrong.
Ampata: The seal!
She lets Xander fall to the floor and runs out of the room.
Cut to Willow. Buffy finds her.
Buffy: Where’s Xander?
Willow: He’s looking for Ampata.
Buffy: We need to find him. Ampata’s the mummy.
Willow: Oh. (absorbs the information and smiles) Good. (realizes its
Buffy: Where’d they go?
Willow: Backstage, I think.
They rush off to find Xander just as Oz comes up to them.
Oz: Hey, I… (watches them go in surprise, then smiles) Who is that
Cut to the hall backstage. They find Xander on the floor leaning against
Buffy: Are you okay?
Xander: (weakly) I think so. Boy, that was some kiss!
Buffy: Where’s Ampata?
Xander: She said something about the seal.
Buffy: The seal! Giles! C’mon.
They help him up.
Xander: What’s goin’ on?
Willow: He doesn’t know?
Buffy: We’ll tell him on the way.
Cut to the museum. Giles is trying to put the last pieces of the seal
together. Ampata sneaks a peek in from the exhibit entryway and sees him
there. She quietly makes her way over to him.
Giles: There, that’s it. (sniffles) Just one more piece.
Ampata reaches around his shoulder from behind and pulls him up. She
takes the seal from his hand and throws it to the floor, smashing it to
pieces. She grabs him by the neck and lifts him onto the rim of the
stone coffin. Buffy arrives.
Buffy: I’ll say one thing for you Incan mummies. (Ampata looks at her)
You don’t kiss and tell.
She makes a long, high leap onto the platform and adopts a fighting
Ampata: Looks like you’ve been keeping secrets from me! (shoves Giles
into the coffin) You’re not a normal girl.
Buffy: And you are?
She does a roundhouse kick to Ampata’s face and another kick to her
side. She throws a punch, but Ampata is strong, too, and catches Buffy’s
fist and swings her around onto the rim of the coffin. She grabs Buffy’s
neck and tries to choke her. Buffy headbutts Ampata, making her stagger
back. She tries to kick but Ampata ducks it. Buffy lunges for her, and
Ampata grabs her by the shoulder and diverts her into the coffin. She
closes the stone lid on the two of them. Willow comes running in as
Ampata starts to leave. She grabs Willow by the neck and picks her up.
Ampata: This won’t hurt!
Willow begins to choke. Ampata moves in to kiss her.
Xander: Let her go! (calmly walks in) If you’re gonna kiss anybody, it
should be me.
Ampata: Xander, we can be together. (looks at Willow) Just… just let
me have this one.
Xander: That’s never gonna happen.
Ampata: I must do it. I must do it now! Or it is the end for me and for
She tries to kiss Willow again, but Xander jumps in to stop her.
Xander: NO! (pulls Willow away from her) You want life? You’re gonna
have to take mine. Can you do that?
Ampata looks into his eyes as she considers. Her skin has mummified up
to her neck.
She grabs his neck and tries to pull him to her as he holds her away by
her arms. Buffy kicks at the lid of the coffin and gets it open. Xander
keeps holding Ampata at bay and watches as she turns back into a mummy.
Buffy comes up behind Ampata and pulls her off of Xander. His grip on
her arms is so tight that they are torn from their sockets. Xander is
freaked out and drops them. Buffy looks at Ampata’s body and drops it,
too. The head breaks off of the body as it hits the floor. Buffy is
grossed out. Willow just stares at what’s left, then looks at Xander and
comes over to him. She crouches down next to him, holding his arm and
rubbing his shoulder. He looks up at her a moment, then back down at his
hands. Giles is out of the coffin now, and he and Buffy collect them to
go. Giles looks back briefly as they leave the exhibit.
Cut to school the next day. Buffy and Xander walk along the colonnade.
Xander: (exhales) I’m really the Fun-Talking Guy today, huh? Sorry.
Buffy: That’s okay. You don’t have to talk.
Xander: I just, present company excluded, I have the worst taste in
women of anyone in the world, ever.
Buffy: Ampata wasn’t evil. At least not to begin with, and… I-I do
think she cared about you.
Xander: Yeah, but I think that whole sucking the life out of people
thing would have been a strain on the relationship.
Buffy: She was gypped. She was just a girl, and she had her life taken
away from her.
They stop and look at each other.
Buffy: I remember how I felt when I heard the prophecy that I was gonna
die. I wasn’t exactly obsessed with doing the right thing.
Xander: Yeah, but you did. You gave up your life.
Buffy: I had you to bring me back.
They give each other thin smiles for a moment before continuing on.