Season 2 | Episode 19 | “Lie To Me”

Buffy World is an unofficial Buffy the Vampire Slayer fansite. (I mean, we feel pretty official, but you know… LAWYERS!)

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER characters and related dramatic works are property of Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. This transcript is intended to be used for criticism, comment, and research purposes. The transcript may depict certain copyrighted work that was not specifically authorized to be used by the copyrighted holder, but which we believe in good faith are protected by federal law and the fair use doctrine for one or more of the reasons noted above. So, go on… do some work and make the world a more interesting place! (non-commercially of course!)

Episode Summary

At the cemetery, Buffy spies Angel talking to a strange girl — who we recognize as Drusilla, the evil Spike’s spaced-out paramour. The next day at school, Buffy runs into an old friend, Billy Fordham. “Ford” has transferred to Sunnydale from their old school (from which Buffy was suspended). Later at the Bronze, Ford admits that he knows she’s the slayer.

We see him enter a building which is crawling with ghoulish people and find out he is plotting something with them. Angel, who’s gotten a bad vibe from Ford, enlists Willow’s help in investigating the kid on the Internet. Meanwhile, Buffy and Ford encounter some vampires on school grounds, and as she runs off to slay one, Ford tells a girl vampire he’ll spare her if she’ll give him information.

When Buffy returns, he pretends that he killed the girl. Even though Willow doesn’t find any incriminating evidence against Ford, Angel’s still sure he’s bad news, and he, Willow and Xander go to Ford’s hangout. It seems all these creepy kids are not really undead, but just vampire wannabes.

Concerned that the vampires have come to Sunnydale High, Buffy beeps Giles, who’s out on a date with Miss Calendar. They all meet at the library, and Buffy spots a picture of Drusilla in Giles’ book. Suddenly, a girl vampire runs in, grabs the book and flees — the vampire Ford said he killed.

Back at Spike’s lair, Ford enters and offers His Evilness a deal — if he’ll turn Ford into a vampire, Ford will give him Buffy. Angel finally warns Buffy about Ford. When she confronts him about Dru, he reluctantly reveals that he was responsible for her death — he had been obsessed with her, and he tortured and killed her. Buffy finally trusts Angel, and agrees to go out with Ford to set him up.

When she goes to his hangout he and his friends lock her in. She tries to explain to them that becoming a vampire doesn’t mean living eternally, but Ford takes her aside and confides that he has only 6 months to live, and this is the best alternative to death he can find. At sunset, Spike, Dru and company bust in and start ravaging the group.

Buffy grabs Dru and tells Spike she’ll kill his girl unless everyone is released. The wannabes are released and Buffy escapes, but leaves Ford inside to the death he prayed for. As Buffy and Giles chat at the cemetery, Ford pops out of his grave and she slays him as if swatting a fly and goes back to her conversation.

Shooting Scripts

Teaser

EXT. PLAYGROUND – EVENING
We see a little merry-go-round turning absently in the (sorry, Gareth) foggy dark. A set of swings,
also empty, also pushed slightly by the night wind.
A jungle gym sits nearby, eight year old JAMES hanging sullenly on it. He sits inside it, looking out at
the park.

JAMES
Come on, Mom…

He cranes around but there is no Mom in sight.
JAMES
She’s always late.

As he hangs, we see a figure moving slowly toward him from behind. DRUSILLA. Her ethereal figure
moves unsteadily, a faint and senseless smile on her lips.
The boy makes her weak with hunger.

DRUSILLA
Are you lost?

The boy turns, startled but not particularly scared. He climbs out of the jungle gym, which stands
between them as he replies:

JAMES

No. My Mom’s supposed to pick
me up is all.
DRUSILLA

Do you want me to walk you home?

JAMES

No, thank you. I’m supposed to wait.

She reaches the gym and starts coming slowly around, running her fingers along the bars. James
begins to get slightly creeped, taking a step back.
JAMES
‘Cause my Mom is coming.
DRUSILLA

My mummy used to sing me to sleep
at night. “Run and catch, run and catch,
the lamp is caught in the blackberry patch”.
She had the sweetest voice, like cherries.
What will your mummy sing when they

find your body?

Okay, now he’s creeped. She is on the same side as him now, standing still, smiling still.

JAMES

I’m not… I’m not supposed to
talk to people.

DRUSILLA

Oh, I’m not a person, so that’s just–

A dark figure APPEARS right before James. He jerks back, looking up to see the dark and glowering
face of ANGEL

ANGEL
Run home.

James does.
Drusilla makes a whimpering growl. Angel turns to face her– and her face lights up.

DRUSILLA
My Angel.
ANGEL
Hello, Drusilla.
DRUSILLA
(comes slowly to him)
Do you remember the song mummy
used to sing me? Pretty. She would
sing me to sleep, and the fairies and
sprites would bit at my heels.

ANGEL
I remember.
DRUSILLA
Yes…you do…
ANGEL

Drusilla, leave here. I’m offering you
that chance. Take Spike and get out.

DRUSILLA
Or you’ll hurt me?

He looks down.

DRUSILLA

No. No, you can’t. Not anymore.

ANGEL

If you don’t leave… it’ll go badly.

For all of us.
DRUSILLA
My dear boy’s gone all away,
hasn’t he? To her.
ANGEL
Who?
DRUSILLA
The girl.

ANGLE: BUFFY
The girl herself, patrolling on a nearby rooftop. She spots the two of them, looks down, uncertain.
ANGLE: HER POV
Of Angel and another woman. Too close for Buffy’s comfort. The woman puts her hand on Angel’s
chest.

DRUSILLA

The Slayer. Your heart stinks of her.
Poor little thing. She has no idea
what’s in store.

She stops — actually sensing Buffy watching. She glances at the girl, smiling to herself.

ANGEL

This can’t go on, Drusilla. It’s gotta end.

DRUSILLA
Oh, no, my pet…

She leans in for what looks to Buffy like a kiss, whispers in Angel’s ear:

DRUSILLA
This is just the beginning.

She drifts back, away from Angel. He watches her go.
So does Buffy.

BLACK OUT.

END OF TEASER
Act One

INT. HALL – MORNING
GILES is talking to JENNY, as they walk toward the library.
JENNY
It’s a secret.
GILES
What kind of secret?
JENNY

The kind that’s secret. You know,
where I don’t tell you what it is.

GILES

But I just think it’s customary, if two
people are going out on an evening,
for the both of them to know where

they’re going.
JENNY

Oh, come on! Where’s your sense

of adventure?
GILES

But, I — how will I know what to wear?

JENNY
(re: his tweedy look)
Do you own anything else?

GILES
Not as such.
JENNY

You’re just gonna have to trust me, Rupert.

GILES

All right. I put myself in your hands.

JENNY
Now that sounds like fun.

An intimate moment is interrupted by:

BUFFY
Hey guys.
She approaches them — glum, exactly, but a tad distracted.
JENNY

I gotta take off. Tomorrow, 7:30. Right?

GILES
Yes.

She takes off. Giles turns to Buffy and they start down the hall.
GILES
Did we hunt last night?
BUFFY

Did a couple of quick sweeps, you
know, downtown.
GILES
No encounters?
BUFFY
Nothing vampiry.
GILES

Well, I’ve been researching our new
friend Spike. The profile is fairly
unappetizing — but I still haven’t a
bead on why he’s here.
BUFFY
You’ll figure it out.
GILES

Are you all right? You seem a bit glum.

BUFFY
I’m okay.
GILES

Well, why don’t you take the night off?

BUFFY
That’s be nice.
GILES

Yes, even I realize a young person like
yourself can’t spend all her time fighting
the forces of darkness. No slaying this
evening. Perhaps you can concentrate
on your homework instead.

She peers at him

BUFFY

Do they know about “fun” in England?

GILES

Yes, but’s considered very poor taste
to have any. Very well. Do whatever
it is you like. You could spend some
time with Angel.
BUFFY

I don’t know. He might have other plans.

INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
CLOSE ON: A PIECE OF PAPER
Unfolded to read, in Willow’s script: “Do you know who she was?”
A WIDER ANGLE reveals the girls bear the back during class. XANDER is next to CORDELIA, who sits
a bit in front, actually participating. Buffy scribbles a reply, as Cordelia holds forth:

CORDELIA

I just don’t see why everyone is always
ragging on Marie Antoinette. I can so
relate to her. She worked really hard to
look that good. People don’t appreciate

that effort.

Buffy writes out: “No. Dark hair, old dress. Pretty.” She hands the note to WILLOW.

CORDELIA

And I know, the peasants were all depressed.

XANDER

I think you mean “oppressed.”
CORDELIA

Whatever. They were cranky. So they’re
like, “let’s lose some heads now.”
Oh, that’s fair. And Marie Antoinette
cared about them. She was gonna let

them have cake!
TEACHER (V.O.)
Well, that’s one way to look at it…

Willow scribbles, hands back. Buffy opens to see:
“Vampire?”
Over which the BELL RINGS, signaling the end of class.
The kids rise and gather their books. Buffy turns to Willow.
INT. HALL – DAY
As they exit:

BUFFY

I don’t know. I don’t think so — I mean,
they seemed pretty friendly.
XANDER
Who’s friendly?
BUFFY
No one.

WILLOW
Angel and a girl.
BUFFY

Will, do we have to be in total
share mode?
XANDER

Hey, it’s me. If Angel’s doing something
wrong I need to know. ‘Cause it gives

me a happy.
BUFFY

I’m glad someone has a happy.

XANDER

Aw, you just need cheering up. And
I know just the thing.
(a few wild moves)
Crazed dance party at the Bronze!

BUFFY
I don’t know.
XANDER
(restrained moves)
Very calm dance party at the Bronze.

(no moves)
Moping at the Bronze.
FORD

I’d suggest a box of Oreos dunked in
apple juice…but maybe she’s over

that phase.

He’s standing behind Buffy smiling. A charming and innocuous senior, Billy Fordham, known as FORD,
waits for Buffy to turn. Which she does, wonder blossoming on her face.

BUFFY
Ford?

She sees him and throws her arms around him. He gives her a big friendly hug.

BUFFY
Ford!
FORD

Hey, Summers. How you been?

BUFFY
What are you doing here?
FORD
Matriculating.
BUFFY
Huh?
FORD

I’m finishing out my senior year at
Sunnydale High. Dad got transferred.

BUFFY
That’s great!

FORD

I’m glad you think so. Wasn’t sure
you’d remember me.
BUFFY

Remember you? Duh, we were in school
together for seven years. You were my
giant fifth grade crush. Remember.

XANDER

So, you two know each other?

BUFFY

Oh! I’m sorry. This is Ford. Uh, Billy
Fordham. This is Xander and Willow.

XANDER
Hi.
FORD
Hey.
WILLOW
Nice to meet you.
BUFFY

Ford and I went to Hemery together, in L.A.

(to Ford)
And you’re here? For real?

FORD

Dad got the transfer, boom — just
dragged me out of Hemery and put

me down here.
BUFFY

This is great! I mean, It’s hard, sudden
move, all your friends, delicate time
very emotional but let’s talk about me

this is great!
WILLOW

So you guys were sweeties in fifth grade?

BUFFY

Not even. Ford wouldn’t give me
the time of day.
FORD

Well, I was a manly sixth grader,
couldn’t be bothered with someone

that young.
BUFFY

It was terrible. I moped over you for
months. Sitting in my room listening
to that Divinyls song, “I touch myself”.
(suddenly sheepish)

Of course, I had no idea what it was about.

WILLOW

It’s fun to meet someone who knew
Buffy from before she was the —
(off Buffy’s glare)
— the here-being girl.

XANDER
(less enthused)
Yeah, it’s fun.
BUFFY

Hey! Are you busy tonight?

FORD

I’m hoping you’ll tell me that I am.

BUFFY

We’re going to the Bronze. It’s the
local club and you gotta come.

FORD

I’d love to, but if you guys had plans –
would I be imposing?
XANDER
Only in the literal sense.
BUFFY

You’re coming. I have spoken.

FORD

Okay, then. I gotta find the admissions
office, get my papers in order.

BUFFY

I’ll walk you. See you guys in French.

FORD
Good meeting you.

They take off, Xander watching them go as Willow works something out in her head.

XANDER

“This is Ford, my bestest friend of all
my friends”. Jeez. Didn’t she know

any fat guys?
WILLOW
(gets it)

Oh! That’s what that song’s about?

INT. BRONZE – NIGHT
The usual suspects mill about, dance, talk. Cordelia is on the dance floor, rockin’ out.
Buffy enters, cranes about for her peoples. She spots them on a couch. Ford is with them already,
talking, making Willow laugh and Xander smile politely. Buffy crosses to them.

BUFFY
Hey, you got here.
FORD
Wasn’t that hard to find.
WILLOW

Buffy, Ford was just telling us about
the ninth grade beauty contest. And the,
uh, swimsuit competition?
BUFFY

Oh, God. Ford! Stop that! The more

people you tell about it, the more
people I have to kill.
FORD

You can’t touch me, Summers. I know
all your darkest secrets.
XANDER

Care to make a small wager on that?

BUFFY

I’m gonna grab a soda. Ford, try not to talk.

She crosses to the bar. As she arrives the man in front turns to go, drink in hand. It’s Angel.

BUFFY
Oh!
ANGEL

Hey. I was hoping you’d show.

BUFFY

You drink? Drinks? I mean, non-blood things.

ANGEL

Yeah. I eat, too. Not for nutritional
value — it just kind of passes the time.

BUFFY
Oh. Who knew?
ANGEL

There’s a lot about me you don’t know.

BUFFY
I believe that.

ANGLE: WILLOW, XANDER AND FORD
Look over at the two of them.

WILLOW
That’s Angel.
XANDER

He’s Buffy’s beau. Her special friend.

FORD

He’s not in school, right? He looks
older than her.
XANDER
You’re not wrong

ANGLE: BUFFY AND ANGEL

BUFFY

So, what’d you do last night?

ANGEL
Nothing.
BUFFY

Nothing at all? You ceased to exist?

ANGEL

No, I mean I stayed in. Read.

BUFFY
Oh.
Her face hardens at the lie. She turns and joins her friends.
FORD

Didn’t want that soda after all?

BUFFY
Not that thirsty.

Angel has come up behind her.

WILLOW
Hey, Angel.
FORD
Hi.
BUFFY

This is Ford. We went to school
together in L.A.

They shake hands.

ANGEL
Nice to meet you.
FORD
Whoah. Cold hands.
XANDER
You’re not wrong.
ANGEL
So, you’re visiting Buffy?
FORD

No, I’m actually here to stay. Just

moved down.
XANDER

Well, Sunnydale is a fun town to live
in. If you’re a small patch of moss.

WILLOW
Angel, do you want to sit?
BUFFY

It’s so crowded in here. I’m hot.

(to Ford)

Do you want to go for a walk?

FORD
Uh, sure. That’d be nice.

The rise. Angel steps back for them to pass.

BUFFY
I’ll see you all tomorrow.
ANGEL
Good night.

FORD
Take care.

Awkward silence follows this awkward scene.

XANDER

Okay, once more, with tension.

Cordelia joins the group, eyes on the departing figures.
CORDELIA
Who’s the tasty treat?
XANDER
Buffy’s oldest and dearest.
ANGEL
He just moved here?
XANDER

Yeah. And boy, does he move fast.

Not what Angel wanted to hear.

WILLOW

Well, Angel, you can still hang
out with us —

But he’s gone.

WILLOW
(to Xander)

See? You made him do that thing
where he’s gone.

EXT. ALLEY – NIGHT
As Buffy and Ford walk, not talking just now. After a bit:
FORD

So, that was your boyfriend?

BUFFY

No. Well, yeah. Well, maybe. Let’s
lay off the tough questions for a while.

FORD

Sorry. So, what else do you do for
fun around here?

As he is saying this, Buffy hears a SCUFFLE around the corner. She grabs Ford.

BUFFY

Um, Uh, my purse! I left it at the Bronze.
Would you get it for me? Thanks.

FORD
Uh, okay.
BUFFY
Good. Run. Thanks.
Confused, he starts off. Buffy runs around the corner.
ANGLE: FORD

Stops, turns back. What’s going on here? He starts moving slowly toward the alley.
The SOUNDS of fighting emerge. Then a woman emerges, running away in terror. Ford keeps inching
closer – as a trash can emerges on the fly. Just misses him.
He runs the corner to see:
ANGLE: BUFFY
As she stakes a vampire. He turns to dust right in front of Ford’s eyes. Buffy turns, is startled.

BUFFY
Oh! You’re back.
FORD
What’s going on?
BUFFY

There was a cat. A cat here and then
there was, another cat. And they fought,
the cats, and then they left.

FORD

Oh. I thought you were just slaying

a vampire.
BUFFY
What? Whatting a what?
FORD

I know, Buffy. You don’t have to lie.
I’ve been trying to figure out the right
time to tell you. I know you’re the Slayer.

Off Buffy’s look:
INT. WILLOW’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
She is on the phone.

WILLOW
Just like that? He told you?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. BUFFY’S KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS -NIGHT
Buffy is on the cordless, sitting on the counter.
BUFFY

Just like that. Said he found out right
before I got booted from Hemery.

WILLOW
Wow. It’s neat. Is it neat?
BUFFY

It…yeah, I guess it is . it’s nice to have
someone else that I can open up to.

No more hiding.

EXT. URBAN DISTRICT – NIGHT
(Okay, it’s our damn alley.) Ford walks cheerfully along. Comes to a door in what appears to be a
pretty rundown building. Over the large metal door is a painted sign: no words, just a picture of a
setting sun.

Ford pounds on the door. A little window in the center slides open. A GUY of about 25 — strong,
tattooed and suspicious, peers out.
The little window slides closed — and the door opens. Ford enters:
INT. HALL – CONTINUOUS – NIGHT
A small hall, painted black and leading to another, even heavier metal door.
INT. THE SUNSET CLUB – CONTINUOUS – NIGHT
And he’s in another world. The Sunset Club is dark, fairly Goth and very lively. It’s like a giant
underground bunker done up for permanent Halloween. The door opens onto a balcony that rings the
top of the large space. There is a bridge of metal grill work that spans the space up here as well, and
steps leading down into the main floor, which divides into various lung spaces, dance areas, and
small private rooms.
There’s maybe thirty people here, all corsets and velvet and black lipstick.
The MUSIC is loud and pulsing. Lights flicker and swirl across Ford’s face as he looks about him.
ANGLE: WELDER GUY.
He’s got black hair, black lips, and dark goggles on as he works on the metal door hinge, crouching in
a shower of sparks.
Ford nods at him (we cannot tell exactly what the man is doing), then starts down the stairs. As he
reaches the bottom he is accosted by DIEGO, a true vampire wannabe. His ruffled shirt and velvet
cape only accentuate his nerdliness. If this group has a leader, Diego is it.

DIEGO
Ford. Ford!
FORD
Hey.
As always, Ford is fairly dismissive of Diego.

DIEGO
Well? How did it go?
FORD
Went good.
DIEGO

Good? That’s it ? Well, when —

FORD
Soon.
DIEGO

You know, you could give me a little
more information here. I’m trusting you,
I’m out on a limb here — not to mention
the lease is almost up on this place and
who’s gonna cover that, my dad’s not
sending me another dime —

FORD
Marvin —
DIEGO

Diego. Come on, it’s Diego now.

FORD

Diego. Ritalin. Everything’s gonna be fine.

A slinky goth girl, CHANTARELLE (formerly Joan), glides up to the boys with a couple of goblets. Ford
takes one. He pops open a prescription bottle and washes down a pill, then continues:

FORD (cont’d)

Just make sure you’re ready when I say.

True believers only.
CHANTARELLE
I can’t wait.

Ford’s attention is caught by the movie playing against a nearby wall. It’s on a big monitor — and on
another behind Ford. Ford seems mesmerized as he sips from the goblet.

DIEGO

Well, I still think I should be in on the plan.

FORD
(eyes on the movie)

Diego, you gotta trust me. A couple more
days and we’ll get to do the two things
every American teen should have the
chance to do. Die young…

He turns to Diego and Chantarelle, smiling.

FORD
…and stay pretty.

He turns back to the movie. Watches, mouthing every line as it’s spoken. We see him and the second
vid screen behind him, as both he and Jack Palance intone:
FORD\JACK PALANCE
So, you play your wits against mine.
Me, who commanded armies hundreds
of years before you were born. Fools!
There is no way in this life to stop me…

BLACK OUT.

END OF ACT ONE
Act Two

INT. WILLOW’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Willow comes out of the bathroom, brushing her hair out. She passes the French doors — and starts,
as she sees Angel standing behind them.

WILLOW
Oh! Angel.

She looks over at her door, slightly open — no parent noises — then opens the French doors.

WILLOW
What are you doing here?
ANGEL
I wanted to talk to you.
WILLOW
Well, oh.
She pulls the door all the way open, waits for him to step in.

WILLOW
Well?
ANGEL

I can’t… unless you invite me.
I can’t come in.
WILLOW

Oh! Okay. Uh, I invite you. To come in.

He does. Willow goes over to her bed. She spots her bra lying on it. In a panic, she stuffs it under
her pillow. Turns to him.

ANGEL
If this is a bad time…
WILLOW

No, I just… I’m not supposed to have

boys in my room.

And she clearly hasn’t, by her nervous demeanor.
ANGEL

Well, I promise to behave myself.

WILLOW
Okay, good.
ANGEL

I guess I need help. And you’re the
first person I thought of.
WILLOW

Help? You mean like on homework?
No, ’cause you’re old and you already

know stuff.
ANGEL

I want you to track someone down.

On the net.
WILLOW

Oh! Great. I’m so the net girl.

She crosses to her desk, boots up.

ANGEL

I just want to find everything I can.
Records, affiliates — I’m not even
sure what I’m looking for yet.

WILLOW
What’s the name?
ANGEL
Billy Fordham.

She stops. Then, typing, says:

WILLOW

Um, Angel, if I say something you
don’t really wanna hear, do you
promise not to bite me?
ANGEL

Are you gonna tell me that I’m jealous?

WILLOW

Well, you do sometimes get that way.

ANGEL
You know, I never used to.

He sits on the bed behind her.

ANGEL

Things used to be pretty simple. A
hundred years just hanging out, feeling
guilty. I really honed my brooding skills.
Then she comes along… Yeah, I get
jealous. But I know people and my
gut tells me this is a wrong guy.

WILLOW

Okay, well, you’ve got a smart gut I
guess. But if there isn’t anything weird –

hey, that’s weird.

He rises, comes behind her.

ANGEL
What?
WILLOW

I just checked the school records. He’s
not in them. Usually they transfer your
grades and stuff, but… he’s not even

registered.

She starts typing fast.

ANGEL

He said he was in school with you

guys, right?
WILLOW

Okay, there’s no Fordham listed in
Sunnydale. Curiouser and Curiouser.
Let me see if I can —
WILLOW’S MOM (O.S.)
Willow? Are you still up?
WILLOW
Ack! Go!
He glides to the French doors, Willow up to close them.
WILLOW
(calls out:)

I’m just going to bed now, Mom.
I’m very sleepy.
(to Angel)

Come by at sunset tomorrow. I’ll

keep looking.
ANGEL

Don’t tell Buffy what we’re doing, all right?

WILLOW

You want me to lie to her? It’s Buffy.
Besides, I don’t lie good. I lie bad.

ANGEL

Just don’t bring it up ’til we know

what’s what.
WILLOW
Okay. It’s probably nothing.

ANGEL
That’d be nice.

EXT. SCHOOL – FOUNTAIN QUAD – DAY
Buffy and Ford are sitting and talking.

BUFFY

And then everything was Vampires. I
slacked utterly in school — and my social
life pretty much dried up and blew away.

FORD

You made quite a hit at the prom.

BUFFY

Oh, God, the prom. What a disaster.

FORD

Wasn’t dull, though. Watching the gym
go up in flames… it was like a movie.
Life isn’t nearly enough like a movie,

don’t you think?
BUFFY

I think that was the worst night of my life.

FORD

You saved a lot of people’s lives. I
know it – I bet there’s others who do too.

BUFFY

It’s good to hear. And it’s good to be
able to talk to someone who knows.
Who knew me before, and… well. During.

FORD

You know, one minute you’re a kid,
living in your safe kid world, and then –
truth hits you in the face. Vampires.
I’ll never forget that night

BELL RINGS. They get up and head inside.
OMITTED

BUFFY
Most everybody else did.
FORD

What’s with that? Nobody would say a word.

BUFFY

People ignore truths they don’t like.

Cordelia comes up to them, all smiles.

CORDELIA

Buffy, you haven’t introduced me to

your new friend.
BUFFY
Yeah, isn’t that weird?

She blows by her, Ford in tow.

FORD
Who was that?
BUFFY
A truth I like to ignore.

INT. SCHOOL LOUNGE – DAY
Buffy and Ford enter, pass Willow.

BUFFY
Will! What’s up?
WILLOW
Nothing.
She’s a little jumpy, afraid of being found out.
BUFFY

You wanna hang? We were cafeteria bound.

WILLOW

I’m going to work in the computer lab.
On school work that I have. So I could
not hang just now. Hi Ford.

FORD
Morning.
BUFFY
Okay, Will. Fess up.
WILLOW
(scared)
What?
BUFFY

Were you drinking coffee again?
‘Cause we’ve talked about this.

WILLOW
Ha ha ha ha!
(to Ford)
It makes me jumpy.
(to both)
I have to go. Away.

She does.

FORD
Nice girl.
BUFFY

There aren’t two of those in the world.

Giles approaches.

GILES

Buffy. Ms. Calendar and I are going…

somewhere … tonight. She’s given me
her beeper number in case you need me

for any…
(glances at Ford)
…study help. Suddenly.
BUFFY
He knows, Giles.
GILES
What?
BUFFY

Ford. He knows I’m the Slayer.

FORD
I know.
GILES
Oh. Very good then.
(pulls Buffy aside)

Buffy, you aren’t by any chance giving
away your secret identity just to impress

cute boys, are you?

She smiles.

BUFFY
I didn’t tell him. He knew.
GILES

All right. Well, remember, if you need me —

BUFFY

Go. Experience this thing called fun.
I’ll try not to have a crisis.

EXT. FRONT OF SCHOOL – NIGHT
Buffy and Ford have been walking together for a while.
BUFFY

And on your right, once again — the
beautiful campus. You’ve seen pretty
much everything there is to see in Sunnydale.

FORD
Well, it’s really…
BUFFY
Feel free to say ‘dull’.
FORD
Okay. Dull works.
Buffy spots something out of the corner of her eye:
ANGLE: TWO VAMPS
are sneaking towards the administration building.
Ford follows Buffy’s gaze and sees them.

FORD

Or maybe not so dull… Is that more vampires?

BUFFY
Must be the weather.

She pulls a stake and a cross out of her pocket, hands Ford the cross. He produces a rather hastily
carved stake of his own from his pocket.

BUFFY
Stick close to me.

She sneaks toward the building, up the stairs, toward the corner. Looks around. There are no
vampires to be seen.

FORD

Maybe they were just passing through.

BUFFY
I don’t think so.

The smaller vampire, JULIA, JUMPS Buffy from the bushes. Buffy easily throws her, but the second
much bigger vampire, LEAPS OUT and takes Buffy over the balcony.
ANGLE: JULIA
Lays on the ground catching her breath, when Ford JUMPS on her. He holds the stake to her chest,
the cross to her face.

FORD

You’ve got one chance to live. Tell
me what I want to know, and I let you go.

ANGLE: BUFFY
As she takes out the bigger vamp. Having done so, she crests the stairs to find Ford, all alone. He is
breathing hard, winded.

BUFFY
Where’s the other one?
FORD
I killed her.
(he coughs)

I killed her and she just turned to dust.

It was amazing.

Off his gleeful smile we cut to:
EXT. URBAN DISTRICT – NIGHT
Willow, Angel and Xander head for the sunset Club.
WILLOW

The only thing I could track down
were some E-mails to a guy called Diego.
And this address. The sunset Club.
I still didn’t find anything incriminating.

ANGEL

He leaves no paper trail, no record.
That’s incriminating enough.
XANDER

I’m gonna have to go with Dead Boy

on this one.
ANGEL

Could you not call me that?

Angel knocks on the door. The little window slides open.
ANGEL

We’re friends of Ford’s. He said we
should come by.
A beat, then the window slides shut. The door opens.
INT. THE HALL – CONTINUED – NIGHT
The three file in, head for the big iron door. Door Guy watches them suspiciously.
They enter:
INT. SUNSET CLUB – NIGHT
same crowd, same beat. Xander, Willow and Angel stand at the entrance, taking it in.

WILLOW
Boy, we blend right in.
XANDER

In no way do we stick out like a

sore thumb.
ANGEL

Let’s look around. You guys check
out downstairs.
XANDER
Sure thing, Bossy the cow.

He and Willow start down the stairs as Angel makes his way around the balcony.

WILLOW

Okay, but do they really stick out?

XANDER
What?
WILLOW

Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean,
have you ever seen a thumb and gone
“wow, that baby is sore”.
XANDER

You have too many thoughts.

ANGLE: ANGEL
makes his way around upstairs, looking about with increasing suspicion.
ANGLE: XANDER AND WILLOW
Cruise about the downstairs.

XANDER

Okay, are we noticing a theme here?

WILLOW
Like, as in, “Vampires Yay”?
XANDER
That’s the one.

Chanterelle approaches them.

CHANTARELLE
You guys are newbies, I can tell.

WILLOW

Oh, no. we come here all the time.

XANDER

My corset’s just at the cleaners.
CHANTARELLE

Don’t be ashamed. It’s cool that you’re
open to it. We welcome anyone who’s
interested in the Lonely Ones.

WILLOW
The Lonely Ones?
ANGEL
Vampires.
He’s come up to them, not looking particularly amused.
XANDER

Oh. We usually call them the nasty
pointy bitey ones.
CHANTARELLE

So many people have that misconception.
But they who walk with the night are not
interested in harming anyone. They’re
separate from humanity, and must carry
the burden of immortality. They are
creatures above us. Exalted.

ANGEL
You’re a fool.
Even his companions are thrown by the harshness of his tone.
CHANTARELLE

You don’t have to be so confrontational
about it. Other viewpoints than yours
may be valid, you know.

Chantarelle wanders off, hurt.

WILLOW
Nice meeting you…
XANDER
(to Angel)

Boy, you’re really a people person.

WILLOW

Nobody’s gonna talk to us now.

ANGEL

I’ve seen enough. And I’ve seen this type
before. They’re children, making up bedtime
stories about friendly vampires to comfort
themselves in the dark.
WILLOW

Is that so bad? I mean the dark can get
pretty dark, sometimes you need a story.

ANGEL

These people don’t know anything about
vampires. What they are, how they live,

how they dress…

The same moment he says that a club member walks by in THE EXACT SAME OUTFIT that Angel is
wearing. Angel looks sheepish for a moment as Xander and Willow eye him sardonically.

XANDER

You know, I love a good diatribe, but
I’m still curious why Ford, the bestest
friend of the Slayer, is hanging with a
bunch of vampire wannabe’s.

WILLOW
Something’s up with him.
(to Angel)
You were right about that.

INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Giles and Jenny enter with Buffy.

BUFFY

Sorry to beep you guys in the middle
of stuff, but this did seem a bit weird.

GILES

No, you did the right thing.
JENNY
(to Giles)
You hated it that much?
GILES

No! But — vampires on campus — there
could be implications… very grave…

JENNY

Why didn’t you say something?

GILES

No, honestly, I’ve always been interested
in… monster trucks. I swear.

BUFFY

You took him to monster trucks?

JENNY

I thought it would be a change.

GILES
It was a change.
JENNY
We could have just left.
GILES

And miss the nitro burning funny cars?
Couldn’t have that. Best part.

BUFFY

Okay, can we get back on the vampire
tip? These guys were here with a purpose.

GILES

And we have to figure out what that

purpose is.
JENNY
Where’s your friend?
BUFFY
I sent him home.
GILES

Good. The less he’s mixed up in this,
the safer he’ll be.
BUFFY

Well, he did bag a vamp his first time
out. You gotta give him credit for… that…

Something on the table catches her eye.

JENNY
Something wrong?
BUFFY
Who is this?

She picks up an old DAUGUERREOTYPE portrait which has been stuck between the pages of a book.

GILES

She’s called Drusilla. A sometime
paramour of Spike’s.
BUFFY
Not sometime. Nowtime.
GILES

She was reported killed by an angry

mob in Prague.
BUFFY

Well, they don’t make angry mobs
like they used to cuz this girl’s alive.
I saw her with Angel.
GILES
With Angel?
JENNY

Isn’t he supposed to be a good guy?

BUFFY

(quietly, as the implication sinks in)

Yes. He is.
JENNY

I think maybe we need to read up
on this nice lady.

Giles crosses to his office.

GILES

Some of my newer volumes might be
helpful. My own research has —

Vampire Julia JUMPS at him as he nears the door. She has an old book in her hands. She grabs him
and hurls him into Buffy, knocking her down. She races to the back, leaping first on the table and

then to the balcony, disappearing into the stacks. Buffy stares after her as Giles gets up.

JENNY
You guys okay?
GILES

A book. It took one of my books.

JENNY

Well at least someone in this school

is reading…
BUFFY
He said he killed it.
(turns to them)

That’s the vampire Ford said he killed.

GILES
He lied?

A beat, as it sinks in.

BUFFY
Why?

INT. THE FACTORY – NIGHT
Drusilla is talking softly to something. We pull back to reveal a birdcage…

DRUSILLA

You sing the sweetest little song.
Won’t you sing for me? Don’t you love

me anymore?
…and an entirely dead bird lying on the bottom.
SPIKE comes up behind her.

SPIKE

Darling, I heard a funny thing just now.
Lucius told me you went out for a hunt

the other night.
DRUSILLA
(focussed on the bird)
My tummy was growly. And you were out.

(to the bird)

Come on. I will put if you don’t sing…

SPIKE

You, uh, run into anyone? Anyone

interesting?
(she doesn’t answer)
Like Angel?
DRUSILLA
Angel.
SPIKE

Yeah. What might you guys have to
talk about then? Old times? Childhood
pranks? It’s a little off, you two so friendly,
him being the enemy and all that.

DRUSILLA
(to the bird)

I’ll give you a seed if you sing…

SPIKE
(losing patience)

The bird’s dead, Dru. You left it in the
cage and you didn’t feed it and now it’s
all dead. Just like the last one.

She makes that noise she makes when she’s unhappy and may cry. He softens instantly, wrapping
his arms around her.

SPIKE

I’m sorry, baby. I’m a bad, rude man, I
just don’t like you going out. You are
weak. Would you like a new bird?
One that’s not dead?
FORD
This is so cool!

Spike spins, murder on his (NOW VAMPIRE) face. Other vampires gather, menacing.

FORD
I would totally live here.
(points to the rolly ramp)
Do you ever slide down that thing?

I bet you do.
SPIKE

Do I have anyone on watch here? It’s
called security, people. Are you all asleep?

He crosses to Ford, a smile working across his lips.
SPIKE

Or did we finally find a restaurant

that delivers.

Ford, for all his bravado, is clearly nervous — and clearly high on that adrenaline.

FORD
I know who you are.
SPIKE

Yeah, I know who I am, too. So what?

FORD

I came looking for you. Spike. You are
Spike, right? William the Bloody?

SPIKE

You’ve got a real death wish. It’s
almost interesting.

Vampire Julia enters with the book. Spike sees, signals for her to come over. He takes the book, leafs
through it.

SPIKE

This is great. This will be very useful.

(not looking up)
So, how’d you find me?
Julia looks at Ford in fear. She’s dead if he gives it away.
FORD

That doesn’t matter. I’ve got something

to offer you.

Spike looks up, lays the book on a table.

FORD

I’m pretty sure this is the part where
you take out a watch and say I’ve got
thirty seconds to convince you not to
kill me . it’s traditional.
SPIKE

Well, I don’t much go for tradition.

He grabs Ford and moves to bite — Ford’s eyes widen with fear — but a hand on Spike’s shoulder
stops him. It’s Dru.

DRUSILLA
Wait, sweetie.

He stops, stares at Ford. Lets go.

SPIKE
Well?
FORD

Come one. Say it. It’s no fun if you

don’t say it.
SPIKE
What? Oh.

(rolls his eyes, then very flatly)
You’ve got thirty seconds to convince
me not to kill you.
FORD

Yes! This is the best. I wanna be like

you. A vampire.
SPIKE

I’ve known you for two minutes and I
can’t stand you. I don’t really feature
you living forever.
(to Dru)
Can I eat him now, love?
FORD

Well, feature this. I’m offering a trade.
You make me a vampire. And I give

you the Slayer.

He has their attention.

BLACK OUT.

END OF ACT TWO.
Act Three

INT BUFFY’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Buffy is making a mug of cocoa in the kitchen when Angel appears at the door.

ANGEL
Buffy. May I come in?

BUFFY

Sure. I thought once you’d been invited
you could always just walk in.

ANGEL
I can. I was being polite.
BUFFY
Oh.
ANGEL
We need to talk.
BUFFY
Do we?
ANGEL

It’s about your friend Ford. He’s not

what he seems.
BUFFY
Well, who is these days?
ANGEL

Willow ran him down on the computer.

BUFFY
Willow?

She turns and crosses into:
INT. DINING ROOM – CONTINUOUS – NIGHT
Where her homework is laid out. She puts the cocoa down as Angel follows her in.

ANGEL

We found this address. We checked it
out with Xander and it turned out to —

BUFFY

And Xander? Wow, everybody’s in.
It’s a great big exciting conspiracy.

ANGEL

What are you talking about?

BUFFY

I’m talking about the people I trust.

Who’s Drusilla?

Angel’s face falls.

BUFFY

And don’t lie to me. I’m tired of it.

ANGEL
Some lies are necessary.
BUFFY
For what?
ANGEL

Sometimes the truth is worse. You live
long enough, you find that out.

BUFFY

I can take it. I can take the truth.

ANGEL
Do you love me?
BUFFY
What?
ANGEL
Do you?
BUFFY

I love you. I don’t know if I trust you.

ANGEL

Maybe you shouldn’t do either.

BUFFY

Maybe I’m the one should decide.

He waits a beat. Then:

ANGEL

I did a lot of unconscionable things when
I became a Vampire. Drusilla was the
worst. She was… an obsession of mine.
She was pure, and sweet and chaste.

BUFFY
You made her a vampire.
ANGEL

First I made her insane. Killed everyone
she loved, visited every mental torture
on her I could devise. She eventually
fled to a convent and the day she took
her holy orders I turned her into a demon.

For a moment Buffy can’t say a thing. Can’t even look at him.
BUFFY

Well, I asked for the truth…

ANGEL

Ford’s part of some society that reveres
vampires. Practically worships them.
I don’t know what he wants from you.
But you can’t trust him.

Off her stare we cut to:
EXT. SCHOOL – FOUNTAIN QUAD – DAY
Buffy walks along, alone with her thoughts, till she sees Ford coming. She steels herself.

FORD
Buffy!
BUFFY
Ford.

She tries to smile. His own smile seems suddenly predatory, cold. The CAMERA circles them as they
talk.

FORD

I had a great time last night. Well,
an interesting time.
BUFFY
I’m glad.
FORD

I’m probably presumptuous here but
do you want to go out again tonight?

BUFFY
I’m not busy.
FORD

I sort of had an idea. It’s a secret –
I kind of want to surprise you.

BUFFY
I like surprises.
FORD

Cool. You know that place you were
telling me about, the burger joint that
got condemned? Can you meet me there?

BUFFY
Sure.
FORD
At nine?
BUFFY
At nine.
FORD
It’s gonna be fun.

He takes off. Buffy watches him.
INT. SCHOOL LOUNGE – DAY
Cordelia sits with Xander and Willow, pressing them.
CORDELIA

Come on, can’t you tell me anything

about him?
WILLOW

Why are you so interested in Ford?

CORDELIA

In case you haven’t noticed there is a
devastating cute guy shortage right now.
The government is calling for rationing
so why does Buffy get to hoard them all?
She has Angel. So come on, what’s Ford

interested in?
XANDER
Vampires.
CORDELIA
(deflated)

oh great. That’s Buffy’s best subject.
You sure he doesn’t like clothes?

Buffy enters. Her friends accost her.

WILLOW
Hey Buffy. Did, uh, Angel –

BUFFY
He told me. Everything.

Her voice is pretty cold. Willow looks done.

WILLOW

I’m sorry we kept stuff from you.

BUFFY
(almost means it)
It’s okay.
WILLOW

When Angel came to my room he was
just really concerned for you. And we
didn’t want to say anything in case
we were wrong.

Buffy softens – puts her hand on Willow’s arm.
XANDER

Did you find out what Ford is up to?

BUFFY
I will.
She takes off. They watch her go. After a beat:
XANDER
Angel was in your bedroom?
WILLOW
(nods)
Ours is a forbidden love.

INT. THE SUNSET CLUB – AFTERNOON
There are only twelve or so people here now — the True Believers. Ford enters, goes down to
Chantarelle.

FORD

Chantarelle. Is everything ready?

DIEGO
(approaching)

Of course it’s ready, I took care of it.
I always take care of it.
CHANTARELLE
Is it time? Tonight?
FORD
Are you nervous?
CHANTARELLE

Yes. No. I’m ready for the change.
Do you really think they’ll bless us?

FORD

I know they will. Everything’s falling

into place.

DIEGO

What about your friends? Are they
coming? I don’t think it’s fair — they’re

not true believers.
FORD

What are you talking about?

DIEGO

Your friends. They came last night.
Two guys and a girl.
CHANTARELLE
One was mean.
DIEGO

That’s not the point. They weren’t even
dressed right. Plus they didn’t know the
password so officially they really shouldn’t

have been here.
FORD

Oh, Christ. Why didn’t you tell me about this?

DIEGO

I have to do everything, okay Mister
flawless plan guy? So maybe it slipped

my mind.
CHANTARELLE
(worried)

It’s gonna be all right, isn’t it? They’re
not gonna let us down?
FORD
It’s gonna be fine.
CHANTARELLE
I need them to bless me.
FORD
It’s gonna be fine.
BUFFY
It’s really not.

They turn to see her coming down the steps. Door guy is a few steps above her, nursing a broken
nose. Ford’s face hardens upon seeing her. He glances at Diego.

FORD
It’s kind of drafty in here.

Diego sidles off as Buffy approaches.

BUFFY

I’m sorry Ford, I just couldn’t wait till
tonight. I’m rash and impulsive — it’s a flaw.

FORD
We all have flaws.
BUFFY

So I’m constantly learning. I’m still fuzzy
on exactly what yours is. I think it has
to do with being a lying scumbag.

FORD
Everybody lies.
BUFFY

But not everybody is a lying scumbag.
There’s a difference.
FORD
Yeah, I guess there is.
BUFFY

What do you want, Ford? What’s
this all about?
FORD

I really don’t think you’d understand.

BUFFY

I don’t need to understand. I just need

to know.
FORD

I’m gonna be one of them.
BUFFY

One of them. You want to become

a vampire.
FORD
I’m going to.
BUFFY

Vampires are kind of picky about
who they change.
(realizes)

So you were gonna offer them a trade.

FORD

I don’t think I want to talk anymore

She slams him up against the wall, hand to his throat.
BUFFY

Well, I still feel kind of chatty. You were
gonna give them me. Tonight.

FORD
Yes.
BUFFY

What, lure me into the old building,
leave me there for them?
FORD
Something like that.
BUFFY

You had to know I’d figure it out, Ford.

FORD
(smiles)

Actually, I was counting on it.

She steps back, wary. Her mind working.

BUFFY

What’s supposed to happen tonight?

FORD

This is so cool! This is just like it played
in my head. The part where you ask me
what’s supposed to happen. It’s already

happening.

She looks around. Dark spaces, weird people looking at her. Sussing the nature of the trap, she steps
back. She looks up:
ANGLE: THE DOOR
Diego swings it shut. We hear large locks THUD into place. The handle on his side has been removed.
A thick panel welded shut over it.
Buffy races up the stairs. Pulls at the door. Nothing. She turns back to Ford. He’s halfway up, others
grouped behind.

FORD

Rigged it up special. Once it’s closed,
it can only be opened from the outside.
As soon as the sun sets, they’ll be coming.

BUFFY

Ford, if these people are still around
when they get here —
DIEGO

We’ll be changed. All of us.
CHANTARELLE

We’re going to ascend to a new level
of consciousness. Become like them,
like the Lonely Ones.
FORD
This is the end, Buffy.

He smiles at her, amidst his flock.

FORD

No one gets out of here alive.

BLACK OUT.

END OF ACT THREE
Act Four
INT. THE SUNSET CLUB – SECONDS LATER- AFTERNOON
Buffy races down the stairs, looks around for an alternate exit. Ford is on her heels.

BUFFY

There’s gotta be a way out of here.

FORD

This is a bomb shelter, Buffy. I knew
I wasn’t gonna be able to overpower you.
But this is three feet of solid concrete.
Trust me when I say we’re here for

the long haul.

BUFFY

At least let these people out of here.

DIEGO

No way! No fair! We’re a part of this,

you promised.
FORD

It doesn’t matter. There’s no key, there’s
no exit… let’s all just sit back and relax.

Buffy slaps him in the face.

FORD

You have an interesting way of relaxing.

BUFFY

Do you have any idea what you’ve done?

FORD
I do what I have to.
BUFFY
What you have to?
CHANTARELLE
Why are you fighting it? It’s what

we want.
DIEGO

It’s our chance for immortality.
CHANTARELLE
This is a beautiful day! Can’t you

see that?
BUFFY

What I can see is that right after the sun
goes down Spike and his friends are
gonna be pigging out at the all-you-can-eat

moron bar!
DIEGO

That’s it. I think we should gag her.

BUFFY
(gives him the look)
I think you should try.
DIEGO

She’s an unbeliever. She taints us.

BUFFY

I’m trying to save you! You’re playing
in some serious traffic here, do you
understand that? You’re gonna DIE.
The only hope you have of surviving
is to get out of this pit right now and
my God could you HAVE a dorkier outfit?

FORD

Gotta back her up, D. You look like

a big ninny.

A little ALARM goes off. Ford digs into his pocket, pulls out a pager. Smiles.

FORD
6:27. Sunset.

INT. THE FACTORY – 6:27 (NIGHT)
Spike sits at the head of the table, feet up. He holds an antiques pocket watch, the face dangling in
front of his. Reads it. Closes it.

SPIKE
So. Who’s hungry?

INT. SAME – SECONDS LATER – NIGHT
Its’ a sudden flurry of activity, as Vampires come downstairs and out from the shadows, ready for the
hunt. (There are three besides Spike, Dru and Julia). They all head to the door at which Drusilla
waits.

SPIKE

When we get there, everybody spread out.
Two men on the door. First priority is the
Slayer, everything else is fair game but
let’s remember to share, people.

He comes abreast of Dru.

SPIKE
Sure you’re up for this?
DRUSILLA
I want a treat. I need a treat.

SPIKE

And a special one you’ll have. Lucius!

Spike holds up a set of keys, tosses them to a vampire.
SPIKE
Bring the car ’round.

INT. THE SUNSET CLUB – NIGHT
Buffy is still intent on finding a way out. She ascends to the metal bridge, eyes on the bricked-up
windows. Ford follows.

FORD

Man, you never give up, do you?

BUFFY
No, I don’t.
FORD

That’s a good quality in a person. Too
many people, they just lay back and

take it. But us —
BUFFY

Us? We have something in common now?

FORD
More than you think.
BUFFY

Let me explain this to you. You’re what
we call the bad guy.

FORD
I guess I am. Cool.
BUFFY

These people aren’t gonna get changed,
are they? You, maybe, in exchange for
me, but the rest of them — they’re just fodder.

FORD

Technically, yes. But I’m in. I will
become immortal.
BUFFY

I got a newsflash, braintrust. That’s not
how it works. You die. And a demon
sets up shop in your old house. It walks
and talks and remembers your life but

it’s not you.
FORD
It’s better than nothing.
BUFFY
Your life is nothing?

He laughs a bit, bitterly.

BUFFY

Ford, these people don’t deserve to die.

FORD

Neither do I! But apparently nobody
took that into consideration, ’cause I’m

still dying.

This stops her.

FORD

I look good, don’t I? Let me tell you
something. I got maybe six months left
and by then what they bury won’t even
look like me. It’ll be bald and shriveled
and it’ll smell bad. Not human. I’m not

going out that way.

Off her reaction.

FORD

I’m sorry, Summers, did I screw up your
righteous anger riff? Does the nest of tumors
liquefying my brain kind of spoil the fun?

BUFFY

I’m sorry. I had no idea… But this is

still very wrong.
FORD

Okay, well, you try vomiting for twenty
four hours straight because the pain your
head is so intense and then we’ll discuss
the concept of right and wrong.
(indicating the others)
These people are sheep. They want to
be vampires ’cause they’re lonely, or
miserable, or bored. I don’t have a choice.

BUFFY

You have a choice. You don’t have a
good choice: what’s behind door number
three is pretty much a dead fish but you
have a choice. You’re opting for mass
murder here and nothing you say to
me is gonna make that okay.

FORD

You think I need to justify myself to you?

BUFFY

I think this is part of your little fantasy
drama. Isn’t this just how you imagined it?
You tell me how you’ve suffered and
I feel sorry for you. Well I do feel
sorry for you and if those vampires
come in here and start feeding I’ll kill

you myself.

For a moment, Ford betrays an entirely genuine affection. He almost smiles, and quietly says:

FORD

You know what, Summers? I really

did miss you.
There is a NOISE behind the iron door. Of people approaching.
BUFFY

Ford, please. Help me stop this.

He just stares at her.
She heads around the balcony and down the stairs. A few have gathered on them, the others
clustered behind.

BUFFY

Listen to me. This is not the mothership,
okay? This is ugly death come to play.
If we can barricade the door maybe we
can hold them off and try to find another —

WHAM! Ford slams her in the back of the head with a crowbar. Whatever emotion he was battling has
left the building. His face is cold.
Buffy drops to her knees as people scatter. She rises, turns — Ford hits her again and she goes over
a couch.
ANGLE: CHANTARELLE
Looks at Ford in fear and confusion. She starts up the stairs for the door.
ANGLE: THE DOOR –
Swings open. Spike and his cronies step in. He comes face to face with Chantarelle.
He’s not quite what she expected.
He grabs her, snarls, bares his fangs. She goes white with terror.

SPIKE
(to his men)

Take them all. Save the Slayer for me!

His men charge down the steps and wade into the now panicking throng. Spike buries his fangs in
Chantarelle’s neck.

As Ford comes around the couch for a third hit. She grabs the bar, wrenches it free and slams Ford
head first into a pillar. He drops like a sack of unconscious person.
Buffy looks at the scene: Vamps chase or wrestle with various True Believers. Buffy looks up to see:
ANGLE: DRUSILLA
Who has wandered in last, and stands on the balcony a ways away from the busily feeding Spike.
Without hesitation Buffy runs – jumps onto the banister, thence to the balcony with impossible (and
wire-gag-free) strength. She lands by Drusilla and grabs her, whips out a stake and palaces it at
Dru’s heart.

BUFFY
Spike!

He stops. Fear blossoms on his face and he lets go of Chantarelle, who can barely stand.

SPIKE
Everybody STOP!

Everybody does.

BUFFY

Good idea. Now they all walk out or
your girlfriend fits in an ashtray.

DRUSILLA
Spike…
SPIKE

It’s gonna be all right, baby.
(To his men)
Let them go.

The True Believers waste no time in going, Diego pushing his way to the front. The last of them stops
to help Chantarelle out.
Buffy starts pushing Dru toward the door.

BUFFY
(to Spike)
Down the stairs. Do it now.

He doesn’t.

BUFFY

You think I’m joking? You think I’m
feeling jolly right now?

He does.
Buffy reaches the door. A moment. Then she hurls Drusilla down at Spike. Spike catches Dru as a
couple of vampires rush Buffy. She grabs the door and steps out, slamming it shut behind her.
Spike races up to the door with his men, looks at it. Pauses.
SPIKE
Uh, where’s the doorknob?

EXT. STREET – CONTINUOUS – NIGHT
Buffy steps out to find Xander, Angel and Willow there. Angel is heading inside as Xander and Willow
tend the wounded. Angel stops upon seeing Buffy.

BUFFY

You guys got here just in time… to be late.

ANGEL

Why didn’t you tell us you were
coming here?

She just looks at him.

WILLOW
Are there vampires —
BUFFY

They’re contained. They’ll get out eventually,
though. We should clear out. We can
come back when they’re gone.

XANDER
Come back for what?

Buffy turns to look inside.

BUFFY
For the body.

INT. THE SUNSET CLUB – NIGHT
As Ford stands groggily up, looks around him.
FORD
What happened?

Spike turns, looking bloody-minded.

SPIKE

We’re stuck in the basement.

FORD
Buffy?
SPIKE

She’s not stuck in the basement.

FORD

Hey, well, I delivered. I handed her

to you.
SPIKE
Yes, I suppose you did.
FORD

So what about my reward?

Spike stares at him.
INT. THE SUNSET CLUB – AFTERNOON
We can actually see light streaming in through the door — which is ripped mostly off its hinges. Buffy
enters, walks slowly down the stairs.
The body is on the floor. She stands over it.
EXT. GRAVEYARD – SUNSET
The last rays of the sun are glancing off the trees as Buffy stands at Ford’s grave, Giles beside her.

BUFFY

I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.

GILES

You don’t need to say anything.

BUFFY

It’d be simpler if I could just hate him.
I think he wanted me to. I think it made
it easier for him. Be the bad guy. The
villain of the piece. But really, he

was scared.
GILES
I suppose he was.
BUFFY

You known it’s just, like, nothing’s simple.
I’m always trying to work it out. Who to
hate, or love … who to trust… it’s like
the more I know, the more confused I get.

GILES

I believe that’s called growing up.

BUFFY
(little voice)
I’d like to stop, then. Okay?

GILES
I know the feeling.
BUFFY

Well, does it ever get easy?

Ford BURSTS from the grave, a snarling VAMPIRE, and lunges at Buffy — who plants a stake firmly in
his chest. She doesn’t even look as he explodes into dust.
GILES
You mean life?
BUFFY
Yeah. Does it get easy?
GILES

What do you want me to say.

She thinks about it a moment.

BUFFY
Lie to me.
GILES
Yes. It’s terribly simple.

As they start out of the graveyard:

GILES

The good-guys are stalwart and true.
The bad-guys are easily distinguished
by their pointy horns or black hats and
we always defeat them and save the day.
Nobody ever dies…and everybody lives

happily ever after.

BLACK OUT.

BUFFY (O.S.)
(with weary affection)
Liar.
END OF SHOW

Transcripts

Prologue

In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against
the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.
Sunnydale Park after dusk. The playground is deserted. The carousel
slowly turns, and the swings move in the light evening breeze. The only
person there is a boy sitting on the jungle gym, waiting for his ride
home.
James: C’mon, Mom. She’s always late.
The camera pans around him until Drusilla can be seen slowly walking
toward him from behind.
Drusilla: Are you lost?
James: (looks back at her) No. My mom’s just supposed to pick me up is
all. (climbs out of the gym)
Drusilla: Do you want me to walk you home?
James: No, thank you.
Drusilla: (touches the gym) My mummy used to sing me to sleep at night.
(slowly walks around the gym as she sings) Run and catch / The lamb is
caught in the blackberry patch… She had the sweetest voice. What will
your mummy sing when they find your body?
James: (looks at her nervously) I’m not supposed to talk to people.
Drusilla: Oh. Well, I’m not a person, see, so that’s just…
Angel suddenly steps between her and the boy.
Angel: (to the boy, sternly) Run home.
The boy only hesitates for a moment before running off. Drusilla watches
him run away in dismay. Angel takes a breath and turns around to face

her.
Drusilla: My Angel!
Angel: Hello, Drusilla.
Drusilla: (slowly approaches) Do you remember the song mummy used to
sing me? Pretty.
Angel: I remember.
Drusilla: (senses) Yes, you do.
Angel: Drusilla, leave here. I’m offering you that chance. Take Spike
and get out.
Drusilla: Or you’ll hurt me?
Angel looks down at the ground.
Drusilla: (senses) No. No, you can’t. Not anymore.
Angel: If you don’t leave it’ll go badly. For all of us.
Drusilla: My dear boy’s gone all away, hasn’t he? To her.
Cut to the roof of the building across the street from the park.
Angel: Who?
Buffy walks along the roof keeping watch.
Drusilla: The girl. The Slayer.
Buffy senses something and heads for the edge of the roof. Cut to the
park.
Drusilla: Your heart stinks of her. (puts her hand on his chest) Poor
little thing. (cut to Buffy) She has no idea what’s in store.
Buffy looks over the edge and sees them standing close together. She can
overhear.
Angel: This can’t go on, Drusilla. It’s gotta end.
She tilts her head and reaches up for a kiss.
Drusilla: Oh, no, my pet. This is just the beginning.
She pulls away without kissing and gives him an evil smile. She keeps
her head turned to him as she slowly walks away. Buffy swallows at what
she sees. Angel watches Drusilla go for another moment, then turns to
leave also. Buffy steps away from the edge of the roof and runs off.
Opening credits roll. Buffy’s theme plays.
~~ Part 1 ~~
Sunnydale High School the next morning.
Jenny: It’s a secret!
Cut inside. Jenny and Giles come down the stairs.
Giles: What kind of a secret?
Jenny: Uh, the kind that’s secret. You know, where I don’t actually
tell you what it is.
Giles: I think it’s customary that when two people are going out on an

evening that they, they both have an idea of where they’re going.
Jenny: Oh, come on! Where is your sense of adventure?
Giles: Well, I, I… Uh, how will I know what to wear?
Jenny: (looks at his tweed suit) Do you own anything else?
Giles: Uh, w-well, not as such, no, um…
Jenny: (laughs) Rupert, you’re gonna have to trust me.
Giles: Alright, alright, I p-put myself in your hands.
Jenny: That sounds like fun. (starts on her way) Okay, tomorrow night,
7:30, right?
Giles: Yes.
Buffy comes up to him as Jenny leaves.
Buffy: Hey.
Giles: Hello. (they start to the library) Um, did we hunt last night?
Buffy: I did a couple quick sweeps downtown.
Giles: Any encounters?
Buffy: Nothing vampirey.
Giles: Uh, I’ve been researching your friend Spike. Uh, the profile is
fairly unappetizing. But I-I still haven’t got a bead on why he’s here.
Buffy: You’ll figure it out.
Giles: You alright? You seem a little glum.
Buffy: I’m fine.
They stop outside the library.
Giles: Why don’t you take the night off?
Buffy: Okay. That’d be nice.
Giles: Yes. You could spend some time with Angel.
Buffy: I don’t know. He might have other plans.
She walks off to class. Giles wonders what that was all about.
Cut to class. Buffy opens a note from Willow.
Note: Do you know who she was?
Boy: Well, it seems like Louis XVI was just sort of a weak king.
Buffy and Willow glance at each other. Buffy starts to write an answer
to the note.
Teacher: That’s fair enough. Uh, any other impressions?
The camera pans forward to Cordelia sitting in front of Buffy. Xander is
across from her in front of Willow, and looks over at Cordelia with his
head propped up on his fist.
Cordelia: I just don’t see why everyone’s always picking on Marie
Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that
good, and people just don’t appreciate that kind of effort.

Buffy has finished her answer to Willow’s note.
Answer: No Dark hair Old dress pretty
Cordelia: And I know the peasants were all depressed…
Xander: I think you mean ‘oppressed’.
Cordelia: Whatever. They were cranky.
Buffy folds the note and hands it back to Willow.
Cordelia: So they’re, like, ‘Let’s lose some heads’. Uhhh! That’s fair.
And, and Marie Antoinette cared about them. She was gonna let them have
cake!
The camera pans over to Willow finishing another note.
Teacher: Yes, well, that’s a very interesting perspective.
Willow hands Buffy the note.
Teacher: Um, would anyone else like to comment?
Buffy opens the note.
Note: Vampire?
The bell rings. Cut to the hall. Buffy, Willow and Xander come out of
class.
Buffy: I don’t know. I don’t think so. They seemed pretty friendly.
Xander: Who’s friendly?
Buffy: No one.
Willow: Angel and a girl.
Buffy: Willow, do we have to be in total share mode?
Xander: Hey, it’s me. If Angel’s doing somethin’ wrong, I wanna know.
‘Cause it gives me a happy! (smiles)
They head into the lounge.
Buffy: Mm, I’m glad someone has a happy.
Xander: Aw, you just need cheering up. And I know just the thing! (does
a wild move) Crazed dance party at the Bronze!
Buffy: I dunno. (crosses her arms, depressed)
Xander: Very calm dance party at the Bronze? (Buffy gives him a glum
look) Moping at the Bronze.
He sits on a couch next to Willow. Ford walks up the steps behind Buffy.
Ford: I’d suggest a box of Oreos dunked in apple juice, but maybe she’s
over that phase.
Buffy uncrosses her arms and turns around.
Buffy: Ford?
Ford: Hey, Summers!
They embrace.

Ford: How ya been?
Buffy: Oh, my God! What are you doing here?
They let go and hold both hands.
Ford: Uh, matriculating.
Buffy: Huh?
Ford: I’m finishing out my senior year at Sunnydale High. Dad got
transferred.
Buffy: This is great!
Ford: I’m glad you think so.
Xander is not pleased.
Ford: I didn’t think you’d remember me.
Buffy: Remember you? Duh! We only went to school together for seven
years. You were my giant fifth grade crush.
Xander: So! You two know each other.
Buffy: Oh! (turns to Xander and Willow) I’m sorry. Um, this is Ford!
Uh, Billy Fordham, this is Xander and Willow!
Buffy and Ford go to sit on the other couch.
Xander: Hi.
Ford: Hey.
Willow: Nice to meet you!
Buffy: Uh, Ford and I went to Hemery together in L.A. (to Ford) And now
you’re here. For real?
Ford: Dad got the transfer, and boom, he just dragged me outta Hemery
and put me down here.
Buffy: This is great! Well, I mean, it’s hard, sudden move, all your
friends, delicate time, very emotional, but let’s talk about me! (puts
her hand on his knee) This is great!
Willow: (smiles) So, you two were sweeties in fifth grade?
Buffy: Not even. Ford wouldn’t give me the time of day.
Ford: Well, I was a manly sixth-grader. I couldn’t bother with someone
that young.
Buffy: It was terrible. I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room
listening to that Divinyls song ‘I Touch Myself’.
She realizes how what she just said could be taken and casts a nervous
look at Xander and Willow.
Buffy: Of course, I had no idea what it was about.
Ford nervously scratches his temple with his finger. Xander just smiles
and nods.
Buffy: (to Ford) Hey, are you busy tonight? We’re going to the Bronze,
it’s the local club, and you have to come.
Ford: I’d love to! But if you guys already had plans… Would I be
imposing?

Xander: No, only in the literal sense.
Ford: Okay, then! I, I gotta find the admissions office, (gets up) uh,
get my papers in order.
Buffy: Well, you know what, (gets up) I’ll take you there, and I’ll see
you guys in French! (takes Ford’s arm)
Ford: It was good to meet you. (they go)
Xander smiles at them until they’ve gone. Next to him Willow has a
thoughtful look on her face.
Xander: (sarcastically) This is Ford, my bestest friend of all my
friends! Jeez, doesn’t she know any fat guys?
Willow: (realizes) Oh, that’s what that song is about?!
Cut to the Bronze. Xander, Willow and Ford are playing pool. Ford sinks
his shot and sets up for another as Buffy arrives at the table.
Buffy: Ford! You made it.
Ford: Wasn’t hard to find.
Willow: Buffy, Ford was just telling us about the ninth grade beauty
contest, and the, uh, swimsuit competition.
Buffy: Oh, my God, Ford, stop that! The more people you tell, the more
people I have to kill.
Ford: You can’t touch me, Summers. I know all your darkest secrets.
Xander: Care to make a small wager on that?
Buffy: I’m gonna go get a drink. Ford, try not to talk.
She heads for the bar and finds Angel there.
Buffy: Hi.
Angel: Hey! I was hoping you’d show.
Buffy: (sees he has a drink) You drink! I mean, drinks. Non-blood
things.
Angel: There’s a lot about me you don’t know.
Buffy: I believe that.
Cut to the pool table. They’re racking them up. Ford sees Buffy with
Angel.
Willow: That’s Angel.
Xander: He’s Buffy’s beau. (sarcastically) Her special friend.
Ford: He’s not in school, right? He looks older than her.
Xander: You’re not wrong.
Cut to the bar.
Buffy: So. What’d you do last night?
Angel: Nothin’.
Buffy: Nothing at all. You ceased to exist?

Angel: No, I mean I stayed in, read.
Buffy: Oh.
She goes back to the pool table without another word. Angel stands there
confused for a moment, then follows her.
Ford: Didn’t want that soda after all?
Buffy: Not thirsty.
Willow: Hey, Angel.
Ford: Hi.
Buffy: (turns to Angel) This is Ford. We went to school together in
L.A.
Angel: Nice to meet you. (shakes Ford’s hand)
Ford: Whoa! Cold hands!
Xander: You’re not wrong.
Buffy gives Xander a look.
Angel: So, you’re here visiting Buffy?
Ford: No, I’m actually here to stay. Just moved down.
Willow: Hey, Angel? Do you wanna play?
Buffy: Y’know, it’s getting really crowded in here tonight. Um… I’m a
little hot. (to Ford) You wanna take a walk?
Ford: Um, sure! That’d be nice.
Buffy: Okay, then, um… (to the others) I’ll see ya tomorrow. (leads
Ford out past Angel)
Angel: Good night.
Ford: Take care.
Xander: Okay, once more with tension.
Angel: He just moved here?
Xander: Yeah. And, boy, does he move fast.
Willow: Well, Angel, we could still play.
She moves the rack into position, and when she looks back up Angel is
gone.
Willow: See, you made him do that thing where he’s gone.
Xander dismisses her comment and gets ready to break.
Cut outside to the alley. Buffy and Ford stroll slowly along.
Ford: So, that was your boyfriend?
Buffy: No. Uh, yeah. Maybe. Could we lay off the tough questions for a
while?
Ford: Sorry. So! What else do you do for fun around here?
She hears noises coming from around the corner and suspects a vampire.

Buffy: Um, my purse. I-I, I left my purse at the Bronze. Uh, could you
get it for me?
Ford: Uh, okay. (heads back)
Buffy: Good. Run! Thanks!
He starts to jog. A second later she starts running in the opposite
direction and around the corner. Ford looks back and stops when he sees
she’s gone. He can hear a woman crying. He starts to walk back. When
he’s almost there a woman comes running around the corner and past him.
He continues on, and is startled by a metal trashcan flying in front of
him and into a stack of crates. He can hear punching and grunting. He
sees someone hit the pavement face first. He peeks around the corner and
sees a vampire get up and take a swing at Buffy. She ducks the punch and
kicks the vampire in the face. The vampire swings again, and Buffy grabs
his fist and holds on while she punches him in the face. Ford watches as
she pulls out a stake and thrusts it into the vampire’s chest. He
staggers back into the wall and explodes into ashes.
Ford: What’s goin’ on?
Buffy is surprised and spins around to face him.
Buffy: Um… uh, there was a, a cat. A cat here, and, um, then there
was a-another cat… and they fought. The cats. And… then they left.
Ford: Oh. I thought you were just slaying a vampire.
Buffy: What? Whating a what?
Ford: I know, Buffy. You don’t have to lie. I-I’ve been trying to
figure out the right time to, to tell you. I know you’re the Slayer.
Buffy is taken aback.
Cut to later in Willow’s room. She’s on the phone with Buffy.
Willow: Just like that he told you?
Buffy: Just like that. (cut to her room) Said he found out right before
I got booted from Hemery.
Willow: Wow! (cut to her) It’s neat! Is it neat?
Buffy: (cut to her) Yeah, I guess it is. I don’t have to constantly
worry that he’s gonna find out my dark secret. It just makes everything
easier.
Cut to an alley. Ford is heading for the Sunset Club. He knocks on a
heavy metal door, and the viewport opens. It closes and the door opens
to let him in. Cut inside. A welder is cutting the knob off of the
inside door. Ford goes down the stairs to the main area. Dark gothic
music sets the mood, and everyone is dressed in black and pale makeup.
“Never Land”, by The Sisters of Mercy, is playing.
Lyrics: I had a face on the mirror / I had a hand on the gun
Diego meets him at the base of the stairs.
Diego: Ford? Hi, Ford?
Ford: Hey!
Diego: Well, how’d it go?
Ford: It went good.
Diego: Good? That’s, that’s it? That’s all we know? Well, when are
we…

Ford: (interrupts) Soon.
Diego: Oh, soon, okay. Y’know, you could gimme a little more
information here. I’m trusting you. I’m out on a limb here. Not to
mention the lease is almost up on this place. Who’s gonna cover that?
Ford: Marvin…
Diego: Diego! C’mon, man, it’s Diego now.
Ford: Diego. (takes out a pill) Ritalin. Everything’s gonna be fine.
He pops the pill as Chantarelle comes over and hands him a drink.
Ford: Just make sure you’re ready when I say. True believers only.
Chantarelle: (smiles) I can’t wait!
Diego: Right, whatever, I still think I should be in on the plan.
Ford: Diego, you gotta trust me.
He sees a scene from a Jack Palance vampire movie playing on the TV.
TV: Alright.
Ford: A couple more days and we’ll get to do the two things every
American teen should have the chance to do: die young, and stay pretty.
He looks spaced out as he mouths the words of Jack Palance in the movie.
Jack: So… You play your wits against mine. Me, who commanded armies
hundreds of years before you were born. Fools!
~~ Part 2 ~~
Willow’s room. It’s neat and clean and everything is in place just so,
except for some clothes on her bed. She’s in her nightshirt brushing her
hair. There is a knocking on her balcony door, which catches her off
guard. She drops her brush on the bed, goes to the door and pushes the
blinds apart to see who it is.
Willow: Oh! (opens the door) Angel! What are you doing here?
Angel: I wanted to talk to you.
Willow: (looks around) Oh, well…
She gestures for him to come in, but he just stays standing there.
Willow: Well?
Angel: I can’t. Unless you invite me, I can’t come in.
Willow: Oh! (nervous) Well, okay, I invite you. To come in.
She turns around as he comes in, and a look of horror appears on her
face when she sees her bra just lying there on her bed out in the open.
She quickly rushes over, grabs it and stashes it.
Angel: I-if this is a bad time, I…
Willow: No! I just… I’m not supposed to have boys in my room.
Angel: I promise to behave myself.
Willow: (still nervous) Okay. Good.
Angel: I guess I need help.

Willow: Help? You mean like on homework? No, ’cause you’re old and you
already know stuff.
Angel: I want you to track someone down. On the ‘Net. (eyes her laptop)
Willow: (smiles) Oh! Great! I’m so the ‘Net girl. (goes to sit at her
desk)
Angel: I just wanna find everything I can. Records, affiliates, I’m not
even sure what I’m looking for yet.
Willow: (types) Good. What’s the name?
Angel: Billy Fordham.
Willow: Uh, Angel? If I say something you really don’t wanna hear,
(faces him) do you promise not to bite me?
Angel: Are you gonna tell me that I’m jealous?
Willow: Well, you do sometimes get that way.
Angel: You know, I never used to. (sits on her bed) Things used to be
pretty simple. (Willow types) A hundred years, just hanging out, feelin’
guilty… I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along.
(Willow faces him again) Yeah, I get jealous. But I know people. And my
gut tells me this is a wrong guy.
Willow: (nods) Okay. (turns back to the laptop) But if there isn’t
anything weird… Hey, that’s weird.
Angel: What?
Willow: I just checked the school records, and he’s not in them. (Angel
stands up) I mean, usually they transfer your grades and stuff, but he’s
not even registered.
Angel: He said he was in school with you guys, right?
Willow: Let me just see if I can…
Mrs. Rosenberg: (off camera) Willow? Are you still up?
Willow: (gets up) (to Angel) Ack! Go! (to her mom) Iiiiiii’m just going
to bed now, mom!
Angel goes back out onto the balcony. Willow holds the door.
Willow: Come by tomorrow at sunset. I’ll keep looking.
Angel: Don’t tell Buffy what we’re doing, alright?
Willow: You want me to lie to her? It’s Buffy!
Angel: Just don’t bring it up until we know what’s what.
Willow: Okay. I-it’s probably nothing.
Angel: That’d be nice.
She closes the door and frets a bit, nervous about what she has to do.
Cut to the school the next day. Cut inside to a hall near a drinking
fountain. Buffy and Ford come into the hall from outside. Willow wants
to get a drink.
Buffy: Willow!
Willow doesn’t even press the button on the fountain before immediately

turning around, hoping to get away. She realizes she’d never be able to
get away with it, and so turns to face them. She fidgets nervously with
her hands.
Buffy: What’s up?
Willow: Nothing.
Buffy: Do you wanna hang? We’re cafeteria-bound.
Willow: (jumpy) I-I-I’m gonna do work in the computer lab on school
work that I have, so I cannot hang just now. Hi, Ford.
Ford: Morning.
Buffy: Okay, Will, fess up.
Willow: What?
Buffy: Are you drinking coffee again? ‘Cause we’ve talked about this.
Willow is surprised and happy that an explanation for her nervousness
has presented itself, and laughs out loud.
Willow: It makes me jumpy. I have to go. Away. (hurries off)
Buffy is taken aback.
Ford: Nice girl!
Buffy: There aren’t two of those in the world.
Giles meets them in he hall.
Giles: Buffy! Um… Yes, uh… (sets down his briefcase and searches
his pockets) Ms. Calendar and I are going… somewhere tonight, and
she’s given, (finds the slip of paper) oh, given me the number of her
beeper thingy, uh, in case you need me for, um… (eyes Ford) study
help, uh, suddenly. (picks up his briefcase)
Buffy: He knows, Giles.
Giles: What?
Buffy: Ford (indicates him) knows I’m the Slayer.
Ford: I know.
Giles: Oh! Uh, very good, yes. Uh, um, Buffy… (leads Buffy aside) (to
Ford) Excuse me. (aside to Buffy) You are not, by any chance, betraying
your secret identity just to impress, um, cute boys, are you?
Buffy: (smiles) I didn’t tell him. He knew.
Giles: Oh! Uh, right then. Well, uh, just remember, if you…
Buffy: Go! Experience this thing called fun. I’ll try not to have a
crisis.
Giles accepts that and heads back to his library.
Cut outside the school at night. Buffy and Ford are strolling along.
Buffy: And on your right, once again, the beautiful campus. I think
you’ve now seen everything there is to see in Sunnydale.
Ford: Well, it’s… really…
Buffy: Feel free to say dull.

Ford: Okay. Dull’s good. (sees two vampires running) Or maybe not so
dull. (Buffy sees them, too) Is that more vampires?
Buffy: Must be the weather.
She pulls out a stake and a cross, and hands the cross to Ford. He takes
it and reaches into his back pocket to pull out a stake of his own. He
smiles and waves it about.
Buffy: Stay close to me.
She hops up the steps the vampires just ran up and cautiously looks
around. Ford is close behind, cross and stake held ready. She looks
around a corner and sees nothing.
Ford: Maybe they were just passing through.
Buffy: (turns around) I don’t think so.
A blonde female vampire grabs her from behind and tries to bite. Ford
takes a startled step back. Buffy does a high kick into her face, then
grabs her by the arm and flips her over onto her back. A male vampire
rushes her and grabs her, pulling her over a railing with him. She lands
in a crouch on the grass below and gets up while the vampire rolls to
his feet. She kicks him in the jaw, making him fall backward. Ford looks
down at his stake and cross and then glances at the fight a moment
before quickly approaching the other vampire and holding the cross in
her face and the stake up and ready. She hisses at him.
Ford: You’ve got one chance to live. Tell me what I wanna know, and
I’ll let you go.
Below Buffy knocks the vampire out with a punch to the face and stakes
him. She runs back up the stairs to Ford, who’s crouched where the
vampire was.
Buffy: Where’s the other one?
Ford: I killed her. (coughs) I, I killed her and she just turned to
dust. It was… amazing!
Buffy raises her eyebrows in surprise.
Cut to Xander, Willow and Angel walking down the alley to the Sunset
Club.
Willow: The only thing I could track down was this address. The Sunset
Club. Still didn’t find anything incriminating.
Angel: He leaves no paper trail, no records, that’s incriminating
enough.
Xander: Yeah, I’m gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one.
Angel: Could you not call me that?
He knocks on the door. The viewport opens and the doorman looks out.
Angel: We’re friends of Ford’s.
The doorman nods. Cut inside. They walk in through the inside door and
look around. It’s gloomy in the extreme.
Willow: (wearing a colorfully striped shirt) Boy, we blend right in.
Xander: In no way do we stick out like sore thumbs.
Angel: Let’s look around. You guys check out downstairs.
Xander: Sure thing, Bossy the cow! (they start down)

Willow: Okay, but do they really stick out?
Xander: What?
Willow: Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a
thumb and gone, ‘Wow! That baby is sore!’
Xander: You have too many thoughts.
Willow is a bit hurt by that. Angel looks down from the balcony and
continues around. “Reptile”, by Creaming Jesus, is playing.
Lyrics: The one hungry life / My life with the other
Willow and Xander walk by a man standing in a coffin dressed as a movie
vampire.
Man: (waves) Hi!
Xander waves back and looks around more.
Xander: Are you probably noticing a theme here?
Willow: As in ‘Vampires! Yay!’?
Xander: That’s the one.
Chantarelle gets up and comes up behind them.
Chantarelle: You guys are newbies. I can tell.
Willow: (turns to face her) Oh, no. We come here all the time.
Chantarelle: Don’t be ashamed! It’s cool that you’re open to it. We
welcome anyone who’s interested in the Lonely Ones.
Angel comes down the stairs behind them.
Willow: The Lonely Ones?
Angel: Vampires.
Xander: Oh! We usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones.
Chantarelle: So many people have that misconception. But they who walk
with the night are not interested in harming anyone. They are creatures
above us. Exalted!
Angel: You’re a fool.
Xander gives him a look.
Chantarelle: You don’t have to be so confrontational about it. Other
viewpoints than yours may be valid, you know. (goes away)
Willow: Nice meeting you.
They turn to Angel.
Xander: You really are a people person.
Willow: Now nobody’s gonna talk to us.
Angel: I’ve seen enough. I’ve seen this type before. I mean, they’re
children making up bedtime stories of friendly vampires to comfort
themselves in the dark.
Willow: Is that so bad? I mean, the dark can get pretty dark. Sometimes
you need a story.

Angel: These people don’t know anything about vampires. What they are,
how they live, how they dress…
A young man dressed exactly like Angel comes down the stairs behind him
and looks him up and down before continuing on. Angel clears his throat.
They start up the stairs to get out of the club.
Xander: You know, I love a good diatribe. But I’m still curious why
Ford, the bestest friend of the Slayer, is hanging with a bunch of
vampire wannabes.
Willow: Something’s up with him, you’re right about that.
Diego overheard them and watches them go. The girl talking to him is
confused about his reaction.
Girl: Are you okay?
Cut to the library. Buffy comes in followed by Jenny and Giles.
Buffy: Sorry to beep you guys in the middle of… stuff, but it seemed
really weird.
Giles: No, you did the right thing. Absolutely.
Jenny: (stops in her tracks) You hated it that much?
Giles: No! But, but, uh, vampires on campus is, could have
implications. Very, very grave…
Jenny: You coulda just said something.
Giles: Uh, honestly, I, I’ve always, I’ve always been interested in,
in, uh, monster trucks.
Buffy: You took him to monster trucks?
Jenny: I thought it would be a change!
Giles: It was a change.
Jenny: Look, we could’ve just left.
Giles: Wha-what, and miss the nitro-burning funny cars? No, couldn’t
have that.
Buffy: Okay, can we get back on the vampire tip here? These guys were
here with a purpose.
Giles: Yes, yes, and, uh, we must, uh, ascertain what that purpose is.
Jenny: Where’s your friend?
Buffy: I sent him home.
Giles: (sits at the table) Oh, uh, good. Yes, the less he’s involved in
all this, the safer he’ll be.
Buffy: He did bag a vamp his first time out.
Giles takes an open book from on top of another and exposes an old
picture of Drusilla.
Buffy: Gotta give him credit for… (notices the picture) that.
Jenny: Something wrong?
Buffy: (picks up the picture) Who’s this?

Giles: Um, she’s called Drusilla, a sometime paramour of Spike’s. She
was killed by an angry mob in Prague.
Buffy: Well, they don’t make angry mobs like they used to, ’cause this
girl’s alive. I saw her with Angel.
Giles: (taken aback) With Angel?
Jenny: Isn’t he supposed to be a good guy?
Buffy: (puts the picture back down) Yeah. He is.
Jenny: I think maybe we need to read up on this nice lady.
Giles: (gets up and heads for his office) Well, some of my new volumes
may be more helpful. Uh, my own research is…
The blonde vampire runs into him as she runs from his office. Jenny
draws a startled breath. Buffy comes to Giles’ aid, but is knocked to
the floor underneath him when the vampire gives him a hard shove. She
jumps up onto the table and leaps over the mezzanine railing, making her
escape through the stacks. Jenny helps Giles and Buffy up.
Jenny: Are you guys okay?
Giles: A book! It took one of my books!
Jenny: Well, at least someone in this school is reading.
Buffy: He said he killed it. That’s the vampire Ford said he killed.
Cut to Spike’s warehouse. Drusilla is talking to her bird as the camera
pans around the cage.
Drusilla: You sing the sweetest little song. Won’t you sing for me,
hmm? Don’t you love me anymore?
The bird is lying dead at the bottom of the cage. Spike comes into the
room behind Drusilla.
Spike: Darling! I heard a funny thing just now. Lucius tells me that
you went out on a hunt the other night.
Drusilla: My tummy was growly. And you were out. (to the bird) Come on.
(whistles) I’ll pout if you don’t sing.
Spike: (puts his arms around her) You, um, meet anyone? Anyone
interesting? Like Angel?
Drusilla: Angel.
Spike: Yeah. So… (kisses her forehead) What might you guys have
talked about, then? Old times? Childhood pranks? It’s a little off, you
two so friendly, him being the enemy and all that.
Drusilla: (to the bird) I’ll give you a seed if you sing.
Spike: The bird’s dead, Dru. You left it in a cage, and you didn’t feed
it, and now it’s all dead, just like the last one.
Drusilla cowers and whines.
Spike: Oh, I’m sorry baby. I’m a bad, rude man. I just don’t like you
goin’ out, that’s all. You are weak. (takes her hand) Would you like a
new bird? One that’s not dead? (sucks on her finger)
Ford: This is so cool!
Spike looks up to see him standing among some crates.

Ford: I would totally live here.
Spike: (loudly) Do I have anyone on watch here? It’s called security,
people. Are you all asleep? (walks toward Ford) Or did we finally find a
restaurant that delivers?
Ford: I know who you are.
Spike: Yeah, I know who I am, too. So what?
Ford: I came looking for you, Spike. You are Spike, right? William the
Bloody?
Spike: You’ve got a real death wish. It’s almost interesting.
The blonde vampire comes in, walks up to Spike and hands him the book
she stole. Spike begins to leaf through it.
Spike: Oh, this is great. This’ll be very useful. (to Ford) So, how did
you find me?
Ford: That doesn’t matter. I’ve got something to offer you. I-I’m
pretty sure this is the part where you take out a watch and say I’ve got
thirty seconds to convince you not to kill me? (smiles) It’s
traditional.
Spike: Well, (slams the book and strides to Ford) I don’t go much for
tradition.
He grabs Ford by the ear and lifts him.
Drusilla: Wait, love.
Ford is in obvious pain, but doesn’t scream. Drusilla puts her hand on
Spikes’s shoulder, and he lets go.
Spike: Well?
Ford: Oh, c’mon! Say it! It’s no fun if you don’t say it.
Spike: What? Oh. (rolls his eyes and bobs his head) You’ve got thirty
seconds to convince me not to kill you.
Ford: Yes! See, this is the best! I wanna be like you. A vampire.
Spike: I’ve known you for two minutes, and I can’t stand you. I don’t
really feature you livin’ forever. (to Drusilla) Can I eat him now,
love?
Drusilla shakes her head.
Ford: Well, feature this: I’m offering you a trade. (Spike turns back)
You make me a vampire, and I give you the Slayer.
Ford has their undivided attention. Spike smiles.
~~ Part 3 ~~
The kitchen at the Summers house. Buffy is nursing a cup of coffee.
Angel slowly pushes the door open.
Angel: Buffy. May I come in?
Buffy: (looks up) Sure. I thought once you were invited you could
always just walk in.
Angel: I can. I was just being polite. (closes the door) We need to
talk.
Buffy: Do we? (picks up her coffee and heads into the dining room)

Angel: It’s about your friend Ford. He’s not what he seems.
Buffy: Who is these days?
Angel: Willow ran him down on the computer.
Buffy: Willow?
Angel: We found this address, we checked it out with Xander, and it
turned out…
Buffy: (disbelieving) And Xander? Wow. Everybody’s in. It’s like a
great big exciting conspiracy.
Angel: What are you talking about?
Buffy: I’m talking about the people I trust. Who’s Drusilla?
Angel lowers his eyes, seeing he’s been caught in a lie.
Buffy: And don’t lie to me. I’m tired of it.
Angel: Some lies are necessary.
Buffy: For what?
Angel: Sometimes the truth is worse. You live long enough, you find
that out.
Buffy: I can take it. I can take the truth.
Angel: Do you love me?
Buffy: What?
Angel: Do you?
She takes a moment to consider her answer.
Buffy: I love you. I don’t know if I trust you.
Angel: Maybe you shouldn’t do either. (turns away)
Buffy: Maybe I’m the one who should decide!
Angel: I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire.
(turns back, but doesn’t make eye contact) Drusilla was the worst. She
was… an obsession of mine. She was pure and sweet and chaste…
Buffy: And you made her a vampire.
Angel: First I made her insane. (looks at her) Killed everybody she
loved. Visited every mental torture on her I could devise. (Buffy looks
away) She eventually fled to a convent, and on the day she took her holy
orders, I turned her into a demon.
Buffy: Well. I asked for the truth.
Angel: Ford’s part of some society that reveres vampires. Practically
worships them. I don’t know what he wants from you, but you can’t trust
him.
Fade to black. Cut to school the next day. Buffy walks up some stairs to
the quad. Ford meets her there. The camera circles them as they talk.
Ford: Buffy!
Buffy: Ford.

Ford: I had a great time last night. Well, an interesting time.
Buffy: (arms crossed) I’m glad.
Ford: Do you wanna go out again tonight?
Buffy: Not busy.
Ford: I sort of had an idea. It’s a… It’s a secret. Kinda wanna
surprise you.
Buffy: I like surprises.
Ford: Can you meet me here?
Buffy: Sure.
Ford: At nine?
Buffy: At nine.
Ford: (smiles) It’s gonna be fun! (walks off)
Buffy just stands there for a moment before uncrossing her arms and
continuing on her way.
Cut to later at the stairs in the hall. Xander and Willow are sitting on
the steps. Buffy comes down behind them.
Willow: (gets up) Buffy!
Buffy doesn’t really want to face her, but does.
Willow: Did, uh, Angel…
Buffy: He told me everything.
Willow: I’m sorry we kept stuff from you.
Buffy: It’s okay. (smiles weakly)
Willow: When Angel came to my room he was just really concerned for
you, and we didn’t wanna say anything in case we were wrong.
Xander: Did you find out what Ford is up to?
Buffy: I will. (walks off)
Willow and Xander sadly watch her go. After a moment something clicks in
Xander’s head.
Xander: Angel was in your bedroom?
Willow: (nods) Ours is a forbidden love.
Cut to the Sunset Club. Chantarelle is sitting and drumming her fingers.
Diego paces nervously. The camera pans up to Ford coming down the
stairs.
Ford: (ignoring Diego) Chantarelle. Is everything ready?
Diego: Of course. It’s ready. (trying to get Ford’s attention) Hi, I
took care of it. I always take care of it.
Chantarelle: Is it time? Tonight?
Ford: You nervous? (pours goblets of wine)
Chantarelle: Yes. No. I’m ready for the change. Do you really think
they’ll bless us?

Ford: (takes a goblet and hands her the other) I know they will.
He smiles at Chantarelle. She smiles back.
Ford: Everything’s falling into place. (takes a sip of wine)
Diego: What about your friends? Are they comin’?
Ford: What are you talking about?
Diego: Your friends. They came. Last night. Two guys and a girl.
Chantarelle: One was mean.
Ford: Oh, Christ! Why didn’t you tell me about this?
Diego: I have to do everything around here. Sorry, Mr. Flawless Plan
Guy, it slipped my mind.
Chantarelle: It’s gonna be alright, isn’t it?
Ford winces in pain and puts his fingertips to his forehead.
Chantarelle: They’re not gonna let us down?
Ford: (the pain passes) It’s gonna be fine.
Chantarelle: I need them to bless me.
Ford: It’s gonna be fine!
Buffy: No.
They all look at her at the top of the stairs.
Buffy: It’s really not.
Ford: (to Diego) It’s kinda drafty in here.
Buffy: (starts down the stairs) I’m sorry, Ford. I just couldn’t wait
till tonight! I’m rash and impulsive. It’s a flaw.
Ford: We all have flaws.
Buffy: I’m still a little fuzzy on exactly what yours is. I think it
has to do with being a lying scumbag. (reaches him)
Ford: Everybody lies.
Buffy: What do you want, Ford? What’s this all about?
Ford: I really don’t think you’d understand.
Buffy: I don’t need to understand. I just need to know.
Ford: I’m gonna be one of them.
Buffy: You wanna be a vampire?
Ford: I’m going to.
Buffy: You know, vampires are a little picky about who they change
ov… (figures it out) You were gonna offer them a trade!
Ford: I don’t think I wanna talk anymore.
She grabs him by the throat and shoves him up against a pillar.
Buffy: Yeah, well, I still feel awfully chatty! You were gonna give

them me! Tonight!
Ford: (nods) Yes.
Buffy: You had to know I’d figure it out.
Ford: Actually, I was counting on it. (smiles)
She lets go of his throat and backs away. He coughs a bit and then
laughs.
Buffy: What’s supposed to happen tonight?
Ford: This is so cool! It’s just like it played in my head. You know
that part where you ask me what’s supposed to happen? (snickers) It’s
already happening.
Diego swings the inner door shut with a loud clang. She runs back up the
stairs and pounds on the door.
Ford: Rigged up special. Once it’s closed, it can only be opened from
the outside. As soon as the sun sets, they’ll be comin’.
Buffy: Ford, if these people are still around when they get here…
Diego: (interrupts) We’ll be changed. All of us.
Chantarelle: We’re going to ascend to a new level of consciousness!
Become like them. Like the Lonely Ones.
Ford: This is the end, Buffy. No one gets outta here alive.
~~ Part 4 ~~
The Sunset Club. Buffy hurries back down the stairs.
Buffy: There’s gotta be another way out of here! (looks around)
Ford: This is a bomb shelter, Buffy. I knew I wasn’t gonna be able to
overpower you. But this is three feet of solid concrete. Trust me when I
say we’re in for the long haul.
Buffy: At least let the other people go.
Chantarelle: Why are you fighting this? It’s what we want!
Diego: It’s our chance for immortality.
Chantarelle: This is a beautiful day. Can’t you see that?
Buffy: What I see is that, right after the sun goes down, Spike and all
of his friends are going to be pigging out at the all-you-can-eat moron
bar.
Diego: Okay, that’s it. I think we should gag her.
Buffy: I think you should try.
Diego: She’s an unbeliever. She taints us.
Buffy: I am trying to save you! You are playing in some serious traffic
here! Do you understand that? You’re going to die! And the only hope you
have of surviving this is to get out of this pit right now, and, my God,
could you have a dorkier outfit?
Diego is offended. Chantarelle smiles.
Ford: I gotta back her up, D. You look like a big ninny. (his alarm
goes off) 6:27. Sunset.

They all walk away from her. She looks around for what to do next.
Cut to Spike’s warehouse. He comes marching out with his troops.
Spike: When we get there, everybody spread out. Two men on the door,
first priority’s the Slayer, everything else is fair game, and let’s
remember to share, people. (meets Drusilla ) Are you sure you’re up for
this?
Drusilla: I want a treat. I need a treat.
Spike: And a special one you’ll have. Lucius! (hold up his keys) Bring
the car around.
Cut to the Sunset Club. Buffy runs back up the stairs to the door. Ford
follows her.
Ford: Hey, you never give up, do you?
Buffy: No, I don’t.
Ford: That’s a good quality in a person. Too many people, they just lay
back and take it, but us…
Buffy: Us? We have something in common now?
Ford: More than you think.
Buffy: Yeah, well, let me explain something to you. You’re what we call
the bad guy.
Ford: I guess I am! (chuckles)
Buffy: (looks down at the people) These people aren’t gonna get
changed, are they? The rest of them, they’re just fodder.
Ford: Technically, yes. But I’m in. I will become immortal.
Buffy: Well, I’ve got a news flash for you, braintrust: that’s not how
it works. You die, and a demon sets up shop in your old house, and it
walks, and it talks, and it remembers your life, but it’s not you.
Ford: It’s better than nothing.
Buffy: And your life is nothing?
Ford snickers.
Buffy: Ford, these people don’t deserve to die!
Ford: Well, neither do I! But apparently no one took that into
consideration, ’cause I’m still dying.
Buffy begins to realize what he’s up to now.
Ford: I look good, don’t I? Well, let me tell you something: (angry)
I’ve got maybe six months left, and by then what they bury won’t even
look like me. It’ll be bald and shriveled and it’ll smell bad. No, I’m
not going out that way.
Buffy turns away.
Ford: I’m sorry, Summers. Did I screw up your righteous anger riff?
Does the nest of tumors liquefying my brain kinda spoil the fun?
Buffy: (faces him) I’m sorry. I had no idea. But what you’re doing is
still very wrong.
Ford: Okay, well, you try vomiting for twenty-four hours straight
because the pain in your head is so intense, and then we’ll discuss

the concept of right and wrong. (points down) These people are sheep.
They wanna be vampires ’cause they’re lonely, miserable or bored. I
don’t have a choice.
Buffy: You have a choice. You don’t have a good choice, but you have a
choice! You’re opting for mass murder here, and nothing you say is gonna
make that okay!
Ford: You think I need to justify myself to you?
Buffy: I think this is all part of your little fantasy drama! Isn’t
this exactly how you imagined it? You tell me how you’ve suffered and I
feel sorry for you. Well, I do feel sorry for you, and if those vampires
come in here and start feeding, I’ll kill you myself!
Ford: You know what, Summers? I really did miss you.
Buffy can only look at him. Outside a car comes screeching to a halt.
Buffy: Ford, help me stop this. (silence) Please!
Ford remains silent. Buffy runs around to the stairs again.
Buffy: People, listen to me! (Ford comes after her) This is not the
mothership, people! This is ugly death come to play!
Ford backhand punches her across the face, and she goes tumbling to the
bottom of the steps. He comes down after her and punches her in the back
as she tries to get up, sending her to the floor again. They hear the
outside door open and look up. Chantarelle starts up the stairs to meet
them. Ford checks to see that Buffy is still out cold on the floor.
Chantarelle reaches the top of the steps as the inner door opens. Spike
walks up to her in his game face and smiles. He roars at her and she
flinches a bit but doesn’t back down. He tears the choker off of her
neck. She starts to cry in fear.
Spike: Take them all. Save the Slayer for me.
The vampires run and jump down the stairs to the people below and begin
feeding. Spike grabs Chantarelle by the neck and bites her violently.
Buffy wakes and gets up, and Ford tries to hit her with a crowbar. She
grabs his arm in mid-swing and pulls him around, making him hit his head
on a concrete pillar. He falls unconscious to the floor. She looks at
the mayhem going on around her and spots Drusilla standing by herself on
the balcony. She takes a running leap off of a couch up to the balcony
railing, quickly climbs over, grabs Drusilla from behind and holds a
stake to her chest.
Buffy: Spike!
Spike stops feeding on Chantarelle and looks over at them. Drusilla
stares at the stake poised in front of her.
Spike: Everybody STOP!
They all stop feeding.
Buffy: Good idea. Now you let everyone out, or your girlfriend fits in
an ashtray.
Drusilla: (frightened) Spike?
Spike: It’s gonna be alright, baby. Let them go!
They all let go of their victims, and the people hurry up the stairs and
out.
Buffy: Down the stairs.
Spike slowly backs down the stairs. Buffy forces Drusilla ahead of her,

still holding the stake ready. When Buffy reaches the top of the stairs
she stares at Spike for a moment. She looks at Drusilla and shoves her
down the stairs at Spike. He catches and steadies her as Buffy turns and
rushes out the door. He starts to give chase as Buffy swings the door
shut behind her. Spike slams up against it. He looks for the way to open
it.
Spike: Uh, where’s the doorknob?
Cut to the alley. Buffy walks out of the building and sees the people
help and support each other. Angel walks up to her and Willow and Xander
are close behind.
Buffy: You guys are just in time.
Willow: Are there vampires?
Buffy: They’re contained. They’ll get out eventually, though. We should
probably go. We can come back when they’re gone.
Xander: Come back for what?
Buffy: (looks back at the entrance) For the body.
Cut inside the club. The vampires are banging on the doors. Ford wakes
and gets up, holding his head. Spike is comforting Drusilla.
Ford: What happened?
Spike: We’re stuck in a basement.
Ford: Buffy?
Spike: (comes down to him) She’s not stuck in the basement.
Ford: Hey, well, I delivered. I handed her to you.
Spike: Yes, I suppose you did.
Ford: So? What about my reward?
Spike and Ford just stare at each other.
Dissolve to the next day. Buffy comes back in and finds the door broken
and twisted. She looks down below and sees Ford lying there. She
descends the stairs and touches his dead body.
Dissolve to the cemetery. Buffy has tears in her eyes as she lays a
bouquet of red roses on Ford’s grave. She stands up again and walks back
to Giles.
Buffy: I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.
Giles: You needn’t say anything.
Buffy: It’d be simpler if I could just hate him. I think he wanted me
to. I think it made it easier for him to be the villain of the piece.
Really he was just scared.
Giles: Yes, I suppose he was.
Buffy: Nothing’s ever simple anymore. I’m constantly trying to work it
out. Who to love or hate. Who to trust. It’s just, like, the more I
know, the more confused I get.
Giles: I believe that’s called growing up.
Buffy: I’d like to stop then, okay?
Giles: I know the feeling.

Buffy: Does it ever get easy?
Ford suddenly rises from his grave, a vampire just like he wanted, and
attacks Buffy. She plunges a stake into his heart with no more effort
than swatting a fly. He steps back and looks at the stake protruding
from his chest. He looks back up and bursts into ashes.
Giles: You mean life?
Buffy: Yeah. Does it get easy?
Giles: What do you want me to say?
Buffy: (looks up at him) Lie to me.
Giles: (considers a moment) Yes, it’s terribly simple.
They start walking out of the cemetery.
Giles: The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are
easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we
always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody
lives happily ever after.
Buffy: Liar.