Season 2 | Episode 22 | “What’s My Line” (Part 2)

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Episode Summary

It’s Career Week at Sunnydale High for everyone but Buffy — her fate as the Slayer has already been sealed. While Buffy is bummed, Spike seeks out a cure for Drusilla by having a transcriber go through a book stolen from Giles.

They realize the book is in code, and through tarot cards, they can figure out what to do.

While at the cemetery, Buffy enters a mausoleum and sees the transcriber and another vampire — she’s able to kill the vampire, but the transcriber eludes her.

When she returns home, Angel is waiting for her and warns her of trouble. She’s still upset about Career Day, and reveals her secret childhood obsession with ice skater Dorothy Hamill.

Giles worries about the missing vampire and what was taken from the mausoleum. We see Spike with a coffin pillow adorned with a cross — part of the cure.

He knows if Buffy keeps interrupting, he’ll never get the key to curing Drusilla, so he decides to summon bounty hunters — the most savage of killers.

Giles chastises Buffy as they examine the mausoleum together and Giles finds the name “duLac” — he was the author of the stolen book Spike has; a book of evil spells written in archaic Latin.

They realize the cross has been stolen from his crypt, and it is the tool which will allow Spike to wreak havoc — Giles says he must decipher the book first in order to save them.

Meanwhile, we strangers start hitting town and doing their damage– one is a door-to-door cosmetic salesman, one is an evil-looking guy, and one is a beautiful woman.

Buffy blows off the deciphering session to go skate with Angel, but Evil Guy is already there. Angel tries to save her but she’s able to cut the guy’s throat with her skate blade.

Angel wigs when he sees the guy’s ring — Giles identifies it as the symbol of the Order of Teraka — the deadly assassins. These are not the ordinary vamps; they’ll stop at nothing to kill everything in their paths.

Buffy freaks and goes to Angel’s house while Angel goes to a local bar, trolling for information about the bounty hunters.

The beautiful woman arrives and attacks Angel, locking him in a cage where he’ll be vulnerable to deadly sunlight within hours. While working with the transcriber, Spike has finally found the answer to curing Drusilla.

As Xander and Cordelia go looking for Buffy at her house, Cordelia lets the cosmetics salesman in.

Back at Angel’s house, the beautiful woman tries to kill Buffy with an axe, identifying herself as Kendra, The Vampire Slayer… Buffy freaks as Kendra identifies herself as the Slayer.

They realize that Kendra was summoned as the new Slayer when Buffy died — temporarily drowned, that is. Kendra, too, knows that evil is coming.

Near death at daybreak, Angel is dragged from the cell by the guy from the bar — he dumps him in a sewer and turns him over to Spike and Drusilla.

When the new moon comes that night, they will perform the ritual they figured out from the transcriber and Angel will die. Giles seems to be bonding with Kendra, making Buffy feel left out.

Now that there’s a spare slayer, Buffy considers giving up the business. At Buffy’s house, Cordelia chats merrily with the cosmetics guy until she realizes he has bugs crawling all over him.

He turns into a huge pile of them, sending Cordelia and Xander into hiding, and they fight over what to do. In the heat of the argument, they kiss passionately (?!).

They manage to escape and speed off in Cordy’s car. At Sunnydale High, Willow chats with Oz, her male computer nerd counterpart, about their similar Career Fair paths.

A police woman supervising the fair suddenly opens fire on Buffy and accidentally shoots Oz, but Kendra comes to Buffy’s rescue.

When the  gang assembles in the library, Giles announces he’s figured out the ritual: Angel will die that night. Buffy and Kendra go to the bar to try to get help finding Angel, but Kendra bails,  convinced that Angel is evil.

Meanwhile, Drusilla is having a field day with her ex- tormentor Angel, dousing him with holy water and watching him writhe in pain.

The Bar  Guy leads Buffy to the church, which is filled with evil Tenaka bounty hunters. Buffy watches in horror as Drusilla holds onto the tied-up Angel, sapping his power.

As the policewoman assassin goes to shoot Buffy, Kendra enters to save her. Willow, Xander, Cordelia and Giles burst in and help, too.

Xander and Cordelia wait for Bug Guy to, well, bug out, then they pour glue all over him and stomp on the helpless creatures. Buffy releases Angel, but Spike sets the room on fire and grabs Dru.

Before they’re able to escape, Buffy hurls something at them and sends them crashing into a huge organ, squooshing them both.

The charm-free Kendra leaves town, and Buffy is the Number One Slayer once again. But all is not well. Emerging from the rubble in the church is Drusilla, now fully vamped out and strong enough to carry the injured Spike to safety. She’s back, and she’s bad.

Shooting Scripts

Teaser

FADE IN:

INT. ANGEL’S APARTMENT – EARLY MORNING
Remember BUFFY and that chick who says she’s the NEW SLAYER? They’re still staring at each other,
breathing hard. The apartment is in major shambles.
BUFFY

Let’s start again. You’re the who?

The new slayer radiates poise and intensity. She’s a “take-no-guff” gal with a faintly regal air about
her.

KENDRA
I’m the slayer.
BUFFY

Nice cover story. Here’s a tip – try
it on someone who’s not the real

slayer.
KENDRA

You can’t stop me. Even if you kill
me, another slayer will be sent to
take my place.
BUFFY

Could you stop with the slayer thing?
I’m the damn slayer!
KENDRA

Nonsense. There is but one – and I

am she.

Buffy takes this in, truly puzzled. Kendra is so annoyingly earnest. Finally –

BUFFY

Okay . . . Scenario: I back off. You
promise not to go all wiggy until we
go to my watcher and figure out what

this is all about.
KENDRA
Wiggy?
BUFFY

You know – no kicko, no fighto?

A beat as Kendra considers. Then –

KENDRA
I accept your scenario.

They let their arms down, circling each other, exhausted from the fight and harboring a good amount
of suspicion and contempt.

KENDRA

Your English is very odd, you know.

BUFFY

Yeah – it’s something about being
woken by an axe. Makes me talk all crazy.

(then)
So you were sent here?
KENDRA
Yes, by my Watcher.
BUFFY
To do what, exactly?
KENDRA

To do my duty. I am here to kill

vampires.
INT. SEEDY BAR STORAGE ROOM – EARLY MORNING
CLOSE ON
A window HIGH on the wall of the storage room. The SUN streams through the barred glass, spilling
light into the room.
We hear the labored breathing of someone in pain as we
WIDEN
to reveal ANGEL huddled in a corner of the storage room. The sun angles across the floor – leaving
him only a small patch of safety. And every passing minute brings the sun closer to him.
CLOSE ON ANGEL
Sweating. The walls are definitely closing in. He’s trying hard to maintain.

BLACKOUT.

END OF TEASER
Act One

INT. LIBRARY – MORNING
GILES paces in front of Buffy and Kendra – trying to make heads or tails of the situation. When
speaking to Giles, Kendra is extremely respectful. Almost subservient.

GILES
(to Kendra)

Your watcher is Sam Zabuto, you say?

KENDRA
Yes, sir.
GILES

We’ve never met – but he is very well

respected.
BUFFY

What? So he’s a real guy? As in,
non-fictional?
GILES
And what are you called?
KENDRA
I am the vampire slayer.
BUFFY
(irked)

We got that part. He means your name.

NEW SLAYER
Oh. They call me Kendra, only. I
have no last name, sir.
BUFFY

Can you say – stuck in the 80’s?

GILES

Buffy – please. There has obviously
been some kind of misunderstanding here.

WILLOW enters the library at this point, startling everyone.
WILLOW

Hey-
Kendra immediately advances on Willow – about to attack.

KENDRA
Identify yourself!
Buffy quickly stops Kendra – gives her a withering look.
BUFFY

Back off, Pink Ranger. This is my

friend-
KENDRA

Friend?
BUFFY

You know. Person you hang with?

Amigo?
KENDRA
I – I don’t understand.

Buffy rolls her eyes – turns to Giles.

BUFFY
You try. I’m tapped.
GILES

Kendra. There are a few people,
civilians if you will, who know
Buffy’s identity. Willow is one of
them. And they also spend time
together. Socially.
Kendra takes this in. Understanding, but still puzzled-

KENDRA
And you allow this, sir?
GILES
Well, you see . . .
KENDRA

But, the slayer must work in secret.

For security-
GILES

Of course. With Buffy, however,

it’s . . . Some flexibility is required-
KENDRA

Why?
WILLOW
(enough already)
Hi guys. What’s going on?
BUFFY
There’s been a big mix-up.

GILES

It seems, that somehow, another
slayer has been sent to Sunnydale.

WILLOW

Is that even possible? I mean, two
slayers at the same time?
GILES

Not that I know of. The new slayer
is only called after the previous
slayer has died-
(then/realizing)

Good lord . . . You were dead, Buffy.

BUFFY
(defensive)
I was only gone for a minute.

GILES

Clearly, it doesn’t matter how long
you were gone. You were physically
dead, causing the activation of the

next slayer.
KENDRA
She . . . died?
BUFFY
Just a little.
GILES

Yes, she drowned. But she was

revived.
WILLOW

So there really are two of them?

GILES
It would appear so. Yes.

Giles sits. Stunned.

GILES

We have no precedent for this. I’m
quite flummoxed.
BUFFY

What’s the flum? It’s a mistake.
She isn’t supposed to be here. She

goes home.
(to Kendra)

No offense. But, I’m not dead and
it’s a teeny bit creepy having you

around.
KENDRA

I cannot simply leave. I was sent
here for a reason. Mr. Zabuto said
all the signs indicate that a very
dark power is about to rise in
Sunnydale.
GILES

He’s quite right. I’ll need to contact him.

BUFFY

So what was your plan for fighting
this dark power? Just sort of attack
people till you found a bad one?

KENDRA
Of course not.
BUFFY

Then why the hell did you jump me?

KENDRA
(sheepish)
I thought you were a vampire.

The others look at each other.

BUFFY

Oooh, a swing and a miss for the rookie.

KENDRA

I had good reason to think you were.
Did I not see you kissing a vampire?

WILLOW

Buffy would never do that! Oh –
(turns to Buffy)

except for – that sometimes you do that.

(to Kendra)
But only with Angel!
(to Buffy)
Right?
BUFFY
Yes right.
(to Kendra)
You saw me with Angel. He’s a
vampire but he’s good.
KENDRA

Angel? You mean Angelus? I’ve read
of him. He is a monster.

GILES
No, no, he’s good now.
WILLOW
Really.
BUFFY
He had a gypsy curse.
KENDRA
Oh.
(beat)
He had a what?
BUFFY

Just trust me. Angel’s on the home
team now. Wouldn’t hurt a fly.

KENDRA

I cannot believe you. He looked to
me like just another animal when I –

She stops. Buffy eyes her, worried.

BUFFY

When you what? What did you do

to him?
KENDRA
I . . .
BUFFY
What did you do?

INT. SEEDY BAR STORAGE ROOM – DAY
Now Angel’s patch of shadow is nothing but a sliver. Sun fills the room.
Angel has his jacket pulled over his head – taking what little protection it can provide. He is literally
smoldering now – only moments away from total combustion.
Then the door to the storage room SLAMS open.
CLOSE ON ANGEL’S LEGS
As a pair of MALE hands grabs them and TUGS.
WIDEN to reveal –
WILLY, the snitch, dragging Angel across the floor of the stockroom. He pulls him out of the light and

into-
INT. ADJACENT ROOM – CONTINUOUS – DAY

Willy leans down, lifts a TRAP DOOR opening in the floor, pushes Angel’s near lifeless body into-
INT. SEWER – CONTINUOUS – DAY

Where Angel drops into the water, Willy following, lowers himself to find-
None other than SPIKE, who waits with a few of his minions.

WILLY

Here you go, friend. A little singed
around the edges, maybe, but he’ll be
good as new in a day or so.

We see that Angel is terribly weak and nearly unconscious. Spike reaches for Angel – but Willy tugs
his hand away.

WILLY
Hey now. We had a deal.

Spike gives Willy a look. Pulls a wad from his pocket and starts to peel off some bills – hands them to
Willy.

SPIKE

What’s the matter, Willy. Don’t

trust me?

Willy is counting the bills. Indicates that Spike owes him a few more.

WILLY
Like a brother.
Spike holds the last bill up – makes Willy reach for it.
SPIKE

Talk and I’ll have your guts for garters.

WILLY

Wild horses couldn’t drag it.

Spike drops the bill in the water.

SPIKE
Oops. Sorry – friend.
Willy fishes for the bill. The minions start to gather up Angel.
WILLY

What’re you gonna do with him, anyway?

SPIKE

I’m thinking – maybe dinner and a
movie. I don’t want to rush into
anything. I’ve been hurt, you know.

Spike strides away, exiting round a bend in the tunnel. His minions follow with Angel, leaving Willy
behind.
INT. BUFFY’S HOUSE – FOYER – DAY
CORDELIA stands with WORM GUY, examining a lipstick. Worm Guy has an open satchel full of
cosmetics and creams at his side.

CORDELIA

Do you have this in raisin? I know
you wouldn’t think so – but I’m both

a winter and a summer-
Worm Guy just looks at her. Creepy and unblinking. Finally-
WORM GUY

$9.99, tax included.
CORDELIA

You – you said that already. Do you
have anything in the berry family?

Worm Guy doesn’t respond. He simply takes the lipstick from Cordelia. Drops it back in the bag.

WORM GUY

Are there more ladies in the house?

CORDELIA
They aren’t home.
(then)

Nothing personal – but maybe you

should look into selling dictionaries-
She stops as she sees a SINGLE WORM appear from under WORM GUY’S COAT and skitter across the

floor. Cordelia backs away with a gasp. She looks at WORM GUY – who stares back at her, impassive.
He looks totally human. Odd, but human.
XANDER comes down the stairs – seeing worm dude for the first time.

XANDER
Hey. What’s up?

Cordelia grabs Xander by the arm – freaked.

CORDELIA

He’s a… salesman. But he was just leaving.

(to Worm Guy)
Right?

WORM GUY just stands there.

CORDELIA
Okay. Bye bye. Thanks.

Nothing. Xander moves to hustle him out.

XANDER

Come on, Mary Kay. Time to –

As Xander approaches, WORM GUY’S FACE starts to RIPPLE. Undulate, in fact. As though there were
creepy crawly things UNDER his skin.

XANDER
Time to . . .

He turns to Cordelia – calmly.

XANDER
Run.

Worm Guy stands between them and the front door, so they BOLT in the opposite direction. WORM
GUY suddenly SHIFTS – his human form falling away as he DECOMPOSES into THOUSANDS of
horrible crawly worms – who stream after Cordy and Xander.
INT. BUFFY’S HOUSE – KITCHEN/DINING ROOM – CONT. – DAY
Xander and Cordelia run past the stairs for the back door, but Pfister has reformed and is BLOCKING
THEIR PATH. They have no alternative but to duck into the CELLAR.
INT. BUFFY’S HOUSE – CELLAR – CONTINUOUS – DAY
Xander and Cordelia jam into the cellar. They shut and bolt the door. The worms simply flow through
the crack under the door. Cordelia SCREAMS.
Xander grabs an old broom and starts to beat them off.
XANDER

Find something to block the crack
under the door!

Cordelia frantically searches, yelping and she brushes worms off her. Finally, she comes across some
DUCT TAPE. She pushes it into Xander’s hands.
CORDELIA
I – I don’t – do worms –

He shoves the broom at her.

XANDER
Cover me.

Cordelia kills worms while Xander, grimacing, TAPES THE CRACKS AROUND THE DOOR. Then he and
Cordy kill the remaining critters. The worms are momentarily thwarted.
A beat. Xander and Cordelia look around the cellar. There are NO WINDOWS. And the only door is the
one they came in.

XANDER

You know – just when you think you’ve
seen it all. Along comes a worm guy.

INT. SEEDY BAR STORAGE ROOM/BAR – DAY
Freaked-out and breathing hard, Buffy BURSTS into the storage room – only to find it empty.

BUFFY
Angel -?
Kendra enters, moves around the room. Checking the floor.
KENDRA
No ashes.
BUFFY
What?
KENDRA

When a vampire combusts, he
leaves ashes.
BUFFY
Yeah, I know the drill.
KENDRA
So I did not kill him.
BUFFY

And I don’t have to kill you.
A glare moment for the girls. Willy enters, momentarily unseen.
WILLY

Whoah, there’s a lot of tension in

this room.

Before he can speak another word KENDRA CHARGES HIM. Slamming him into a table and drawing

her fist back for a mighty blow-
CLOSE ON KENDRA & BUFFY

As BUFFY catches her hand mid-flight. She looks at Kendra, exasperated.

BUFFY

Doesn’t anyone just say “hello” where

you come from?

Kendra keeps her grip on Willy firm.

KENDRA

This one is dirty. I can feel it.

BUFFY

That’s nice for you, percepto girl.
But we’re not going to get anything
out of him if he’s oh, say, unconscious.

Buffy grabs Willy away from Kendra. Addresses him – hard.
BUFFY
Where is Angel?
WILLY

My bud, Angel? You think I’d let him
fry? I saved him in the nick. He
was about five minutes away from
being a crispy critter.

Buffy shoots Kendra a vicious look.

BUFFY
Where did he go? Home?
WILLY

Uh, he said he was gonna stay
underground. You know, recuperate.

BUFFY

Are you telling me the truth?

WILLY

I swear! I swear on my mother’s
grave should something fatal happen
to her god forbid.
KENDRA

Then he is all right. We can return
to your Watcher for our orders.

BUFFY

Orders? I don’t take orders. I do
things my way.
KENDRA
No wonder you died.
BUFFY
Let’s go.

As they start out.

WILLY

I have to ask if either of you girls
has considered modeling. I got a
friend with a camera, strictly high
class nude work – art photographs,

but naked.
The look they give him is the first thing they have ever shared.
WILLY

You don’t have to answer right away . . .

They exit.
INT. DRUSILLA’S BEDROOM – DAY
DRU is in bed, looking gravely (so to speak) ill. Spike enters, sits on her bed. Strokes her brow until
she wakes.

DRUSILLA

Ah. I was dreaming-
SPIKE

Of what, pet?
DRUSILLA

Beautiful. We were in Paris. You
had a branding iron . . .
SPIKE

I brought you something-
Drusilla nods, out of it, as Spike steps out of the room.

DRUSILLA

And there were worms in my baguette . . .

Spike reenters with ANGEL – who is bound and gagged.
SPIKE
Your sire, my sweet.

Drusilla’s expression immediately brightens.

DRUSILLA
Angel?

Spike roughly throws Angel into the corner.

SPIKE

The one and only. Now all we need is
the new moon tonight. Then he will

die and you will be fully restored-
Spike moves back to Dru on the bed – excited.

SPIKE

My black goddess. My ripe, wicked

plum. It’s been-
DRUSILLA

Forever.
Drusilla smiles, pulls him close. They kiss hungrily.
CLOSE ON ANGEL
He looks away. Disgusted and ashamed of what he did to Dru.
ON SPIKE AND DRUSILLA

They finally come up for air-
DRUSILLA

Let me have him. Until the moon.

Spike, glances at Angel, doesn’t like the idea – but can’t deny Drusilla her request.

SPIKE

Alright then, you can play. But
don’t kill him. He mustn’t die until

the ritual.

Drusilla sits up.

DRUSILLA
Bring him to me.

Spike yanks Angel off the floor. Dru gets up on her knees, moves to him, unties his gag. Tenderly
runs her fingers over his face. Angel won’t make eye contact. But Dru grabs his head – turns it until
he’s forced to look at her. She frowns.

DRUSILLA
You’ve been a very bad daddy.

And she SLAPS him with wicked force.

BLACKOUT.

END OF ACT ONE
Act Two

EXT. SCHOOL – COLONNADE – DAY
Buffy, Kendra, Giles and Willow are gathered.
GILES

Kendra, I’ve conferred with your
Watcher, Mr. Zabuto. He and I agree
that until this matter with Spike and
Drusilla is resolved, you two should

work together.
BUFFY
Oh, that’ll be a treat.
KENDRA

So you believe that Spike is attempting
to revive this Drusilla to health?

GILES

Yes. That would be the dark power
your Watcher referred to. Drusilla
is not just evil. She’s also quite
mad. Restored to her full health
there is absolutely no telling what
she might do.
KENDRA
Then we will stop Spike.
BUFFY

Good plan! Let’s go! Charge!

GILES

Buffy-
BUFFY

(to Kendra)

It’s a little more complicated than
that, okay, John Wayne?

GILES

Yes, I’m afraid it is. Spike has
called out the Order of Taraka to
keep Buffy out of the way.
KENDRA

The assassins? I read of them in the
writings of Dramius.
GILES
Really? Which volume?
KENDRA
I believe it was six, sir.
BUFFY
(to Kendra)
How do you know that stuff?

KENDRA
From my studies.
BUFFY

So – you have a lot of free time.

KENDRA

I study because it is required. The
slayer handbook insists on it.

WILLOW
There’s a slayer handbook?

BUFFY

Handbook? What handbook? How
come I didn’t get a handbook?

WILLOW
Is there a T-shirt too?
(off their looks)
Cause, that would be cool . . .

GILES

After meeting you, Buffy, I was quite
sure the handbook would be of no use

in your case.
BUFFY

What do you mean – “it would be of no
use in my case?” What’s wrong with

my case?

Giles turns his attention back to Kendra.

GILES

Kendra – perhaps you could show me
the bit in Dramius six about the
Order of Taraka. I must admit, I
could never get through that book.

KENDRA

Yes, it was difficult. All those footnotes!

They laugh. Buffy looks at Willow.

BUFFY
(sotto)

Hello and welcome to the planet
pocket protector.
Kendra and Giles move off, but Giles stops – turns to Buffy.
GILES

Oh, Buffy. Principal Snyder came
snooping around for you.
BUFFY
Eeee, the career fair.
GILES

You’d best make an appearance, I think.

BUFFY
Right.
KENDRA
Buffy’s a student here?
GILES
Yes.

A beat as Kendra takes this in. Then, coolly-
KENDRA

Right. Of course. I’d imagine
she’s a cheerleader, too.
GILES

Actually, she gave up cheerleading.
It’s a funny story, really . . .
Kendra just looks at him. Clearly, Buffy’s wacky life does not amuse.

GILES

Let’s go find that book, shall we?
They move off to the library. Willow and Buffy watch, somewhat stunned.

BUFFY

Get a load of the She-Giles.
WILLOW
Creepy.

They gather their stuff, move for the door.
EXT. SCHOOL – COURTYARD – DAY

BUFFY

I bet Giles wishes I were more of a

fact geek.
WILLOW

Giles is enough of a fact geek for

both of you.
BUFFY

But you saw how he and Kendra were
vibing. “Volume six – ha, ha, ha!”

WILLOW

Buffy. No one can replace you.
You’ll always be Giles’ favorite.

BUFFY
I wonder . . .
WILLOW

Of course you will. You’re his
slayer. The real slayer.
BUFFY

No – I mean, I wonder if it would be
so bad. Being replaced.
WILLOW

You mean, letting Kendra take over?

BUFFY

Maybe. It would be wild if, after
this thing with Spike and the
assassins is over, I could say –
“Kendra, you slay. I’m going to
Disneyland . . .”
WILLOW
But not forever, right?
BUFFY

No, Disneyland would get boring after
a few months. But I could do . . .
other stuff. Any stuff. Career day
stuff. Who knows, Willow, I might
even be able to have, like, a normal

life . . .

Off Buffy’s hopeful face.
INT. BUFFY’S HOUSE – CELLAR – DAY
Xander and Cordy are still in their man/worm stand-off. Xander is sitting on the floor while Cordelia,
totally wigging, paces.

XANDER

Think you could sit down or change
your pattern or something? You’re
making me queasy.
CORDELIA

Because you’re just sitting there.
You should be thinking up a plan.

XANDER

I do have a plan. We wait. Buffy

saves us.
CORDELIA

How will she even know where to

find us?
XANDER

Cordelia. This is Buffy’s house.
Odds are – she’ll find us.
CORDELIA

What if she doesn’t? I’m supposed to
just waste away down here with you?

No thank you.
She moves toward the stairs to the door – Xander leaps up.

XANDER
What are you doing?
CORDELIA

Checking to see if he’s gone-
XANDER

That’s brilliant. What if he isn’t?

CORDELIA

Oh – Right. You think we should just
slack here and hope that somebody
else decides to be a hero. Sorry,

forgot I was stranded with a loser-
XANDER

And yet, I never forgot that I was
stuck with the numb-brain who let
Mr. Mutant into the house in the

first place-
CORDELIA

He looked normal -!
XANDER

What – he was supposed to have an
arrow and the word ASSASSIN over
his head? All it took was the prospect
of a free makeover and you licked his
hand like a big, dumb DOG!
CORDELIA
You know what? I’m going. I’d
rather be worm food than look at

your pathetic face-
XANDER

Then go. I won’t stop you-
They are toe to toe now. Seething-
CORDELIA

I bet you wouldn’t. I bet you’d
just let a girl go off to her doom

all by herself-
XANDER

Not just any girl. You’re special-
CORDELIA

I can’t believe I’m stuck here
spending what are probably my last
moments on earth with you!
XANDER

I hope these are my last moments!
Three more seconds of you and I’m

gonna-
CORDELIA

You’re gonna what? Coward!
XANDER
Moron!

CORDELIA
I hate you!
XANDER
I hate you!

A beat. They FALL INTO A KISS. A kiss of steel-melting, ground-shaking intensity. It just goes on and
on and on . . .

Finally, they break. LEAP apart as if they’ve been electrocuted. A beat. Then-
XANDER

We so need to get out of here.
Without hesitation, Cordelia RIPS AWAY the tape that seals the door.

CORDELIA
He’s gone.

Xander THROWS the door open and they BOLT. As soon as they’ve crossed from the kitchen through
the dining room – HUNDREDS OF WORMS RAIN DOWN ON THEM FROM ABOVE.
EXT. BUFFY’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS – DAY
Xander and Cordelia race out the front door. Xander, well ahead, is relatively worm-free. Then he
looks back and sees Cordelia falling to the ground, COVERED in worms.

CORDELIA
Help! Help me!

Xander races to a nearby garden hose and turns the pressure up as far as it will go.
Cordelia is flailing as Xander TURNS THE HOSE ON HER. She YELLS and fights the water, but it works

  • the worms are washed away. Xander runs to her and lifts her to her feet.
    They bolt for Cordy’s car. They get in and SPEED OFF.
    INT. SCHOOL LOUNGE – DAY
    Willow and Buffy stand amid the hubbub of CAREER WEEK, looking at a large schedule of events
    that’s posted on the wall.

BUFFY

Okay, my tests say I should be
looking into law enforcement – duh –
and environmental design . . .

WILLOW

Environmental design? That’s
landscaping, right?
BUFFY
(shrugs)

I checked the shrub box. Landscaping
was yesterday – so law it is.

They start to move through the career seekers. Buffy notices OZ, who is standing nearby, staring at
Willow intently. He carries his guitar case.

BUFFY

Don’t look now, Will, but that guy
over there is totally checking you out.

Willow glances over to OZ – waves it away.

WILLOW

Oh. That’s Oz. He’s just expressing
computer nerd solidarity.
BUFFY

Really? Then why is he on his
way over?

Oz approaches. Eyes only for Willow.

OZ
Hi.

Buffy smiles, keeps moving.

BUFFY
(to Willow)
Told you.

Willow stays behind with OZ – while Buffy heads toward the LAW ENFORCEMENT BOOTH.

OZ
Hey.
WILLOW
Hey . . .
OZ

Did you decide? Are you gonna become
a corporate computer suit guy?

WILLOW

Uh, I think I’m gonna finish high
school first. What about you?

OZ

I’m not really a computer person. Or
a work of any kind person.
WILLOW
Then why’d they select you?

OZ

I sort of test well. Which is cool,
except then it leads to jobs.
WILLOW

Well, don’t you have some ambition?

OZ

Oh, yeah. E flat, diminished 9th.

WILLOW
Huh?
OZ

The E flat’s doable, but it’s that
diminished 9th . . . that’s a man’s
chord. You could lose a finger.
He smiles. Willow smiles too – not sure what to make of him.
ON BUFFY
Who is now over at the LAW ENFORCEMENT BOOTH. The STERN POLICE LADY is there. She sees
Buffy, nods to a sign-in sheet. Buffy adds her name and Police Lady takes the paper.

POLICE LADY

Listen up and answer when I call

your name!-
Buffy and the other seminar attendees gather around.
POLICE LADY
Buffy Summers!
BUFFY
Here.

Without a beat – POLICE LADY DRAWS A SERIOUS-LOOKING GUN and AIMS AT BUFFY. Buffy DIVES
FOR COVER as she SHOOTS!

BUFFY
Get down!

MAYHEM. All the career day folks FREAK as Police Lady shoots AGAIN AND AGAIN at BUFFY.
ON OZ AND WILLOW
Bullets FLY past them.

OZ
Look out!

OZ THROWS HIMSELF OVER WILLOW – TAKING HER TO THE GROUND. A BULLET GRAZES HIS ARM.
They land hard. Oz on top of her, bleeding.
BUFFY
CRAWLS ON THE GROUND THROUGH THE CHAOS, moving out of POLICE LADY’S line of sight until
she ends up BEHIND HER. Buffy GRABS POLICE LADY’S LEGS FROM UNDER HER, dropping her.
POLICE LADY and BUFFY ROLL ON THE GROUND. Buffy finally manages to get the GUN OUT OF HER
HAND and it skitters away.
At which point – Police Lady simply DRAWS ANOTHER GUN. Points it right at Buffy’s face.
But before Police Lady can shoot – a FOOT KICKS THE GUN FROM HER HAND. Buffy looks up to see
KENDRA, ready to kick some lady-in-blue butt. Buffy takes advantage of the distraction and POUNDS

POLICE LADY repeatedly in the face-
Still, Police Lady manages to throw Buffy off her and grab ONE OF THE KIDS who was at the law

enforcement booth before Buffy or Kendra can stop her. She’s GOT YET ANOTHER gun – which she
points at the poor kid’s chest.

BUFFY
Don’t!

Hostage in tow, Police Lady backs out of the lounge. She gets to the door, TOSSES the kid to the
ground and exits.
Kendra goes after Police Lady while Buffy runs to OZ and WILLOW.

WILLOW
(to Buffy)
He’s, he’s shot-
(to OZ)
Are you okay?
OZ

I’m shot. Wow. It’s very . . . odd.

And painful.

Kendra runs back into the room. Moves to Buffy.
KENDRA
She’s gone.

A stunned beat as people emerge from their hiding spots. What just happened here? The hostage kid
stands – shaky.

HOSTAGE KID
Was – was that a demonstration?

INT. LIBRARY – DAY
Buffy, Kendra, Giles and Willow are doing the post-siege analysis.

BUFFY
(to Giles)

She was definitely one of the Taraka
gang, Giles. And way gun happy.

GILES
(to Willow)
And this Oz, he’s alright?
WILLOW

The paramedic said it was only a

scrape, thank goodness-
She’s interrupted by XANDER AND A VERY WET CORDELIA, who enter. They’re tripping from both

worm dude and their unscheduled lip-burst. Buffy glances at Kendra.

BUFFY

Down girl-
But KENDRA is totally rooted – looking at Xander like a deer caught in the headlights. Buffy’s puzzled.

XANDER

Who sponsored career day today – The
British Soccer Fan Association?

GILES

We had a rather violent visit from

one of the Order of Taraka-
XANDER

You want to talk Order of Taraka? We

met the king freak of the Order of-
Now he sees KENDRA – stops.

GILES

Forgive me. Xander, Cordelia – this
is Kendra. It’s very complicated,

but she is also a slayer-
Cordelia is too wigged-out to be newly fazed. She barely glances at Kendra, sits.

CORDELIA
(to Kendra)
Hi. Nice to meet you.
XANDER
(to Buffy)

A slayer? I knew this “I’m the only
one, I’m the only one” thing was just
an attention getter.

BUFFY
Just say hello, Xander.

Xander moves to Kendra, who appears mortified by his attention. He notices her babe factor – vibes
her.

XANDER

Welcome. So you’re a slayer, huh?
I like that in a woman.

Kendra can only look at her shoes. Totally flustered.
KENDRA

I – I, hope . . . I thank you. I mean,
sir . . . I will be of service.
XANDER

Good. Great. It’s good to be a giver.

Xander looks to Buffy – what’s with her? Buffy shrugs.
GILES

This assassin you encountered,
Xander. What did he look like?
Just then Cordelia SHRIEKS – finds a DEAD WORM in her hair.
XANDER
Like that.
BUFFY

You and bug people, Xander. What’s

up with that?
XANDER

But this dude was different than the
preying mantis lady. He was a man of
bugs. Not a man who was a bug.

WILLOW
Okay.
(then)
Huh?
GILES

The important thing is – everybody’s
okay. Still, it is quite apparent

that we are under serious attack-
BUFFY

Yeah. These Taraka guys are Uberbad.
If Kendra hadn’t been there today I
would have been toast.
Kendra and Buffy exchange a look. The thanks noted.
GILES

I fear the worst is yet to come.
I’ve discovered the remaining keys to
Drusilla’s cure. The ritual requires
her sire and must take place in a

church on the night of the new moon-
KENDRA

The new moon? But that is tonight.

GILES

Exactly. I’m sure the assassins are
here to kill Buffy before she can put

a stop to things-
Buffy suddenly stands – her tone urgent.

BUFFY

They need Drusilla’s sire? You mean
the vamp that made her?
WILLOW
What is it, Buffy?
BUFFY
(painfully)
It’s Angel. He’s Drusilla’s sire.

XANDER

Man! That guy got some major neck

in his day-
Willow HITS Xander. Xander shuts up. Kendra is clearly displeased – but holds her tongue.

BUFFY
(to Giles)
This thingy. This ritual. Will it

kill him?
GILES
I’m afraid so.
BUFFY

We have to do something. We have to
find the church where this ritual

takes place-
GILES

Agreed. And we must work quickly.
There are only five hours to sundown.

WILLOW

Don’t worry, Buffy, we’ll save Angel.

KENDRA

Angel? Our priority must be to stop

Drusilla.
XANDER
(bridling)

Angel’s our friend. Except I don’t

like him.
BUFFY

Look, you’ve got your priorities and
I’ve got mine. Right now, they mesh.
You gonna work with me or are you
gonna get out of my way?
KENDRA
(a beat)
I am with you.
BUFFY

Good. Cause I’ve had it. Spike is
going down. You can attack me, you

can send assassins after me . . . that’s
just fine. But nobody messes with my

boyfriend.

BLACKOUT.

END OF ACT TWO
Act Three

INT. DRUSILLA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
CLOSE ON
Drusilla – looking much perkier – takes a small bottle of HOLY WATER from an old lined box. She
speaks dreamily – savoring her memories.

DRUSILLA
My mother ate lemons. Raw.

WIDEN TO REVEAL
The bedroom lit by candles. And ANGEL on the bed, tied to the bedposts – his naked chest exposed.
Drusilla drifts over, kneels before him. She runs her hands along his chest. There is obvious heat
between them – heat that Dru plays with just to watch him squirm.

DRUSILLA

She said she loved the way they made

her mouth tingle-
Dru lifts the bottle of holy water. Dribbles a bit on Angel’s chest. We can hear the HISS as the water

burns his skin. He grimaces but does not cry out.
DRUSILLA
Little Anne – her favorite was
custard . . . Brandied pears . . .

Another splash of holy water. A bit more this time. Angel reacts – his pain the product of both
remorse and the torture.

ANGEL

Dru-
DRUSILLA

(stern)
Shhhhhh.
(then)

And pomegranates. They used to

make her face and fingers all red-
And she pours nice and slow this time. He nearly cries out.

DRUSILLA

Remember little fingers? Little hands?

(beat)
Do you?

She obviously wants a reply now. Finally, through his pain-
ANGEL

If I could- I-
DRUSILLA

(snapping)

Bite your tongue . . . They used to
eat. Cake. And eggs. And honey.
(sweet as can be)
Until you came and ripped their

throats out-
She gives him another, BIGGER dose of water. Angel writhes. As he settles, Drusilla searches his

face. The amazing sorrow there. And, like quicksilver, she suddenly appears vulnerable – genuinely
lost.

DRUSILLA
You remember?
ANGEL
Yes.
DRUSILLA

You remember that kind of hungry?

ANGEL
Yes . . .
DRUSILLA
You used to feed me.

Angel looks away – she’s not talking food now.
DRUSILLA

You think you don’t have it in you
now. But you do. I can feel it.

She THROWS A HUGE SPLASH OF HOLY WATER on his chest. Angel finally SCREAMS in agony.

DRUSILLA
I can almost taste it.

INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
The whole gang is present. Willow is at the computer with Giles watching as she scrolls through some
information.

GILES

There are forty three churches in
Sunnydale? That seems a bit
excessive.
WILLOW

It’s the extra evil vibe from the
hellmouth. Makes people pray harder.

GILES

Check and see if any of them are
closed or abandoned.

Willow obliges. Giles carries a large book over to-
ON CORDELIA AND XANDER

Who are sitting side by side, looking through some sort of demon “mug book” – both reeling from
their lip-lock. Stiff as boards, they avoid eye contact.
XANDER

We got demons. We got monsters.
But no bug dude or Police Lady.

Giles hands them the book he holds.

GILES

You should have better luck with
this. There’s a section devoted
entirely to the Order of Taraka.

Xander leafs through the book.
INT. GILES’ OFFICE – CONTINUOUS – NIGHT
Kendra looks out at the others, then over at Buffy, who is checking and re-checking her weapons,
clearly keyed up and freaking about Angel.

KENDRA

And those two, they also know you

are the Slayer.
BUFFY
Yup.
KENDRA

Did anyone explain to you what
“secret identity” means?
BUFFY

Nope. Must be in the handbook.
Right after the chapter on
personality removal.

There’s no real rancor there – Buffy is too focused. Kendra picks up a crossbow, checks it out.

BUFFY
Careful with that thing.
KENDRA

Please. I am an expert in all weapons-
As she says it, the thing goes off in her hand, firing an arrow into Giles’ lamp. Kendra is startled, tries

to cover.

GILES (O.S.)
Is everything all right?
BUFFY

Yeah, it’s okay. Kendra killed the

bad lamp.
KENDRA

Sorry. This trigger mechanism is different.

(conciliatory)

Perhaps when this is over you can
show me how to work it.
BUFFY

When this is over, I’m thinking
pineapple pizza and teen video
fest – possibly something from the
Ringwald oeuvre.
KENDRA

I’m not allowed to watch television.
My Watcher says it promotes
intellectual laziness.
BUFFY

And he says it like it’s a bad thing?

XANDER

Here we go. I am the Bug Man, coo

coo coo chu.

CLOSE ON
A drawing of WORM GUY. Round-faced, meek. Not too scary-looking. But a magnified DETAIL of the
drawing shows his WORMY COMPOSITION. Yuck.
ON XANDER AND CORDELIA

XANDER
(finds something)
Okay. Okay. He can only be killed
when he’s in his disassembled state.

He addresses Cordelia – as to a three-year-old.
XANDER

Disassembled. That means when he’s

broken down into all his buggy parts-
Cordelia, annoyed, grabs the book from him.

CORDELIA

I know what it means, dork head-
Xander tries to grab it back.

XANDER

Dork head? You slash me with your words.

CLOSE ON THEIR HANDS
As they inadvertently TOUCH.

XANDER AND CORDELIA
Arrrgggghhhh!

They jump away from each other as though they’ve been electrocuted.
OFF WILLOW
Puzzled by their interaction.
INT. GILES’ OFFICE – NIGHT
Kendra also hears the SCREAM, then looks at Buffy.
KENDRA

Your life is very different than mine.

BUFFY

You mean the part where I
occasionally have one? Yeah, I

guess it is.
KENDRA

The things you do and have, I was
taught distract from my calling.
Friends. School. Even family.

BUFFY

What do you mean – even family?

KENDRA

My parents – they sent me to my
watcher when I was very young.

BUFFY
How young?
KENDRA

I don’t remember them, actually.
I’ve seen pictures . . . But that’s how
seriously the calling is taken by my
people. My mother and father gave me
to my watcher because they believed
that they were doing the right thing
for me – and for the world. You see?

Buffy is shocked. But Kendra shuts down hard.
BUFFY

Oh. I’m-
KENDRA

Please. I don’t feel sorry for myself.
Why should you?
BUFFY
It just sounds very lonely.
KENDRA

Emotions are weakness, Buffy. You
shouldn’t entertain them.
BUFFY

What? Kendra – my emotions give me
power. They’re total assets.
KENDRA

Maybe. For you. But I prefer to
keep an even mind.

Kendra picks up a dagger, polishes it. Buffy considers this, then-
BUFFY

Huh. I guess that explains it.

KENDRA
Explains what?
BUFFY

When we were fighting. You’re
amazing. Your technique. It’s

flawless. Better than mine-
KENDRA

I know.
BUFFY
(bristles)

Still – I would have kicked your butt
in the end. And you know why?
No imagination.
Kendra starts polishing the knife a little more intensely.
KENDRA
Really? You think so?

BUFFY

Yep. You’re good. But power alone
isn’t enough. A great fighter goes
with the flow. She knows how to
improvise. Don’t get me wrong, I

mean, you have potential-
KENDRA

Potential . . .
Kendra puts the weapon down – furious. Gets in Buffy’s face.
KENDRA

I could wipe the floor with you

right now.

A beat. Buffy smiles.

BUFFY

That would be anger you’re feeling.

KENDRA
(thrown off)
What?
BUFFY

You feel it, right? How the anger
gives you fire? A slayer needs that.
Xander enters, grabs a book. Kendra instantly goes nonverbal and shy again.

XANDER
Scuze me, ladies.
(to Kendra)
Nice knife.
He ducks out. Buffy looks at Kendra with some sympathy.
BUFFY

I’m guessing dating isn’t big with
your Watcher either.
KENDRA

I am not permitted to speak with boys.

BUFFY

Unless you’re pummeling them, right?

(sudden thought)
Wait a minute.
KENDRA
What?
BUFFY

That guy. The sleazoid you nearly
decked in the bar.
KENDRA
You think he might help us?

BUFFY

I think we might make him.

INT. DRUSILLA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Drusilla is still on her knees before Angel, who is reeling from the pain. She holds the dreaded HOLY
WATER over him.

DRUSILLA
Say uncle?

Angel looks away.

DRUSILLA

Oh. That’s right – you killed my uncle.

Drusilla DOUSES HIM again as SPIKE enters the room, seeing them in their compromising position.
He isn’t pleased.

SPIKE

That’s it then. Off to the church.

Drusilla looks up at him – all innocence. She holds the bottle of holy water out to him.

DRUSILLA
It makes pretty colors.

Spike is not interested. He moves to untie Angel, who is keenly aware of Spike’s jealousy.

SPIKE

I’ll see him die soon enough. I’ve
never been much for the pre-show.

Angel speaks up.

ANGEL

Too bad. That’s what Drusilla likes
best, as I recall.
SPIKE

What’s that supposed to mean?

Angel looks to Drusilla – his tone surprisingly leering.
ANGEL

Ask her. She knows what I mean.

Drusilla smiles. Can’t help herself.

SPIKE
Well?
DRUSILLA
Shhhhhhhhh. Bad dog.
ANGEL

You should let me talk, Dru. Sounds
like your boy could use some pointers.

(to Spike)

She likes to be teased-
Spike’s had it. Hurts Angel in a way to be determined.

SPIKE
Keep your hole shut!
Angel’s really hurting, but he keeps on nonetheless.
ANGEL

Take care of her, Spike. The way she

touched me just now . . . I can tell

when she’s not satisfied-
Spike RIPS Angel from his ties – lifts him to his feet.

SPIKE
I said – shut up!
ANGEL

Or maybe you two just don’t have the

fire that we did-
Spike’s HAND FLIES TO ANGEL’S NECK. The other hand BREAKS AN ARM OFF A STANDING

CANDELABRA – INSTANT STAKE.

SPIKE
That’s ENOUGH.

Spike draws the stake back. Angel steels himself – a heartbeat away from death.

DRUSILLA
Spike – NO!

Spike STOPS himself, not a moment too soon. Looks at Angel. A beat and – incongruously – he
smiles.

SPIKE

Right. Right . . . You almost got me.

Spike puts the stake down. Collects himself.

SPIKE

Aren’t you a “throw himself to the
lions” sort of sap these days?

SPIKE laughs. ROARS like a lion in Angel’s face.
SPIKE

Well, the lions are on to you, baby.
If I kill you now – you go quick and
Dru hasn’t got a chance. And if Dru
dies, your little Rebecca of
SunnyHell farm and all her mates are

spared her coming out party-
Drusilla stands, eyes glowing with anticipation.

DRUSILLA

Spike. The moon is rising. It’s time.
She moves to Spike, who puts a territorial arm around her.
SPIKE

Too bad, Angelus. Looks like you go
the hard way – along with the rest of
this miserable town.

INT. SEEDY BAR – NIGHT
SLAM! Willy is thrown against the wall by BUFFY. Kendra PACES nearby.

WILLY

Honest! I don’t know where Angel is!

BUFFY

How about this ritual tonight? What

have you heard?
WILLY

Nothing. It’s all hush hush-
KENDRA

(impatient)
Just hit him, Buffy.
BUFFY
She – likes to hit.
WILLY

You know, maybe I did hear something
about this ritual. Yeah . . . It’s
coming back to me . . . But I’d – I’d

have to take you there-
Buffy lets Willy down. Starts to drag him toward the door.

BUFFY
Let’s go.

But Kendra hesitates.

KENDRA

First, we must return to the watcher.

BUFFY

Excuse me? While we run to Giles,

the whole thing could go down-
KENDRA

But, it is procedure-
BUFFY

It’s brainless, you mean! If we
don’t go now – Angel could be history.

KENDRA

Is that all you’re worried about?
Your boyfriend?
BUFFY

It’s not all. But it’s enough.
KENDRA

It’s as I feared. He clouds your judgment.

We can’t stop this ritual alone-
BUFFY

He’ll die-
Kendra finally loses her patience. Says what she’s been thinking all along.

KENDRA

He’s a vampire. He should die! Why
am I the only person who see it?

This hits Buffy hard. Her face goes cold.

BUFFY

I’m going. With you or without you.

KENDRA
You’re crazy. You’ll be killed.

BUFFY

Then I guess this is goodbye.

She grabs Willy and leaves. Kendra is stunned.
EXT. OLD ABANDONED CHURCH (STOCK) – NIGHT
Establishing.
INT. CHURCH FOYER – NIGHT
Willy leads Buffy into the dark vestibule.

WILLY

Here you go. Don’t ever say your friend

Willy don’t come through in a pinch-
Buffy moves to follow, when out of the darkness appear WORM GUY, POLICE LADY and Spike’s TWO

VAMP HENCHMEN. They surround her. Willy turns to the VAMP HENCHMEN.

WILLY

Here you go. Don’t ever say your
friend Willy don’t come through in a

pinch-
Buffy reacts – oops. Make that MEGA OOPS.

BLACKOUT.

END OF ACT THREE
Act Four

INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
The abandoned church hall is lit only by torches as the ritual to heal Drusilla nears its peak. Spike
swings the censer as he reads grandly from the decoded book.
SPIKE

Eligor, I name thee. Bringer of war,
poisoners, pariahs, grand obscenity!

Before him we now see ANGEL AND DRUSILLA, who stand face to face, tied together by tight leather
straps. Drusilla looks up at Angel, her expression wild and expectant.

SPIKE

Eligor, wretched master of decay,
bring your black medicine. Come

restore your most impious, murderous child-
With gloved hands, Spike lifts THE RELIC – and pulls on the base of the cross, UNSHEATHING A

HIDDEN DAGGER. Smiles as he grabs Angel’s hand, which is BOUND TO DRUSILLA’S.

SPIKE

From the blood of the sire she is
risen! From the blood of the sire
shall she rise again!

Spike PLUNGES the knife through BOTH ANGEL and DRUSILLA’S HANDS. Blood and a crackling,
electric FORCE flows freely between them.
Angel cries out, clearly in horrible pain. Drusilla, however, delights in her wound – writhing in
exquisite agony. Spike claps his hand-

SPIKE

Right then! Now we let them come to
a simmering boil, then remove to a

low flame-
He’s interrupted as the DOORS CRASH OPEN, revealing WILLY, WORM GUY and BUFFY – who

struggles against the iron grip of LADY COP and the vampire henchmen. Spike is appalled but Willy

doesn’t notice-
WILLY

It’s pay day, pal. I got your slayer.

Spike advances on him, seething.

SPIKE

Are you tripping? You bring her
here – now?

Buffy sees ANGEL and DRUSILLA, reacts. Angel is gone – can’t acknowledge her.

WILLY

You said you wanted her-
SPIKE

In the ground, pinhead! I wanted

her dead-
WILLY

(getting nervous)
Now – now that’s not what I heard.
Word was, there was a bounty on her,

dead or alive-
SPIKE

You heard wrong, Willy.
BUFFY
(to herself)
Angel . . .
Spike is distracted by her. Looks over where she looks.
SPIKES

Yeah, it bugs me too, seeing ’em like
that. Another five minutes and
Angel’ll be dead though, so I
forebear. But don’t feel too bad for
Angel. He’s got something you don’t

have.
BUFFY
What?
SPIKE
Five minutes. Patrice?

Police Lady raises a gun to Buffy’s head.
The doors BURST OPEN, one of them actually coming off its hinges. Kendra is handspringing across
the room before anyone even has time to react, smashing into Police Lady and knocking her to the
floor, her gun skittering away.

SPIKE
Who the hell is that?

Buffy takes the moment to shake off her vamps.

BUFFY
It’s your lucky day, Spike.

Kendra grabs Spike-
KENDRA

Two slayers.

Punches him, spinning him toward-
BUFFY

No waiting.

Punches him, spinning him again. Kendra moves to punch him again, but he ducks, engages her in
fisticuffs as Police Lady comes for Buffy, stilettos popping out from her sleeves.
ANGLE: THE VAMPS
Get up to get Buffy and Kendra – but one is arrowed from the back. Giles is behind him, crossbow in
hand. Willow and Xander flank him, all armed. Xander looks, calls out to:

XANDER
Hey larva boy!

WORM GUY turns, stares at Xander.

XANDER

That’s right. I’m talking to you –
the big cootie.

WORM GUY has heard enough, starts for Xander. Xander RACES into the FOYER – shuts the door.

Again WORM GUY sheds human form and devolves into worm state, streaming under the door-
INT. CHURCH FOYER – CONTINUOUS – NIGHT

CORDELIA is on the other side of the door and has spread some kind of GLUE on the floor. She and
XANDER watch as the WORMS come under the door and GET STUCK.

XANDER

Welcome, my pretties. Mwa haa haa!

He and Cordelia start to stomp on the worms. Xander goes at it gleefully. Cordelia, a little gingerly.
ANGLE: SPIKE AND KENDRA
She’s got the moves, but he’s powerful – a couple of crippling blows and he’s got her on the
defensive.
ANGLE: BUFFY AND POLICE LADY
Buffy is narrowly avoiding those knives. Looks over at Kendra.
BUFFY
Switch!

Buffy backs into Kendra, grabs her by the arms and the two do a tandem flip, sending Kendra flying
into Police Lady.

SPIKE

Rather be fighting you anyway.

BUFFY
Mutual.

They fight.

ANGLE: GILES
As the vampire knocks the crossbow out of his hands and they start wrestling, Willow jumping on his
back.
ANGLE: XANDER AND CORDELIA
A stompin’. Cordy’s totally into it now.

CORDELIA
Die! Die! Die!
XANDER
I think he did, Cordy . . .

ANGLE: SPIKE
Flies into a wall just as Willy is trying to exit thataway. Grabs him.

SPIKE
Where are you going?
WILLY

There’s a way in which this isn’t

my fault.
SPIKE
They tricked you.
WILLY
(outraged)
They were duplicitous!
SPIKE

Well, I’ll only kill you just this once.

He’s about to – then sees:
ANGLE: BUFFY AT THE ALTAR
She grabs the handle of the knife, trying to pull it from Angel and Drusilla’s hands.
Spike tackles her from behind. Down they go.
ANGLE: WILLY
runs past Giles and Willow, who are finishing off the vamp (Giles holds, Willow stakes). Willy then
passes Xander and Cordelia, who run in to join Giles and Willow.
ANGLE: KENDRA AND POLICE LADY
under the organ loft.
Police Lady knocks Kendra into a beam holding up the organ loft. It gives slightly, just dust raining
down. Not sturdy. Police Lady slices Kendra in the arm, drawing blood. Kendra looks at her shirt,
getting angry.

KENDRA
That’s my favorite shirt.
(thinks)
That’s my only shirt!

Now she’s pissed. She comes at Police Lady in a hail of blows, finally knocking her out right under the
organ loft at the back.
ANGLE: SPIKE

Punches Buffy, gaining a moment to look about. Clearly, he’s outnumbered. He pulls out the knife,
cuts the bonds and grabs Dru as Angel falls to the floor.
SPIKE

Sorry, dear, we gotta go. Hope that
was enough . . .

He grabs a torch by the altar and hurls it at Buffy’s pals. It hits an old curtain on the floor and starts
a blaze.
He carries Dru on the other side of the fire to the back, towards the organ loft.
ANGLE: BUFFY

Rises, pissed off. She grabs a CENSER and swings it overhead. Throws it-
And it slams into the back of Spike’s head. He stumbles forward-
Right into the beam holding the organ loft up.

The beam falls, the loft crashes down on Spike and Dru.
ANGLE: BUFFY

BUFFY
I’m good . . .

ANGLE: KENDRA
amongst Buffy’s friends.

KENDRA
She’s good . . .

Buffy comes to Angel, the others joining her to help carry him out. Kendra next to Buffy.

BUFFY
It’s gonna be okay . . .
ANGEL
Buffy?
KENDRA
Let’s get him out.
They do, leaving the growing fire headed toward the rubble.
INT. SCHOOL LOUNGE – DAY
Willow enters, moves to OZ – who is at the snack machine, arm in a sling. He sees her, brightens
immediately.

OZ

Oh. Hey. Animal cracker?
WILLOW

No, thanks. How’s your arm?

OZ
Suddenly painless.
WILLOW

You can still play guitar okay?

OZ

Not well, but not worse.

They start walking down the hall.

WILLOW

You know, I never really thanked you-
OZ

Please, don’t. I don’t do thanks.
I get all red and I have to bail.
It’s not pretty.
WILLOW

Then forget about – that thing.
Especially the part where I kind

of – owe you my life-
Oz can’t take it. Pulls a cookie from the box.

OZ

Look. Monkey. And he has a little
hat. And pants.

Willow smiles – amused by his verbal juggling.
WILLOW
Yeah. I see.
OZ

The monkey is the only cookie
animal that gets to wear clothes, you

know that?
(then/casual)

You have the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen.

Willow is startled, but Oz breezes past it.

OZ

So I’m wondering, do the other cookie
animals feel sort of ripped? Like,
is the hippo going – man, where are
my pants? . . . I have my hippo dignity . . .

They turn a corner.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY – DAY
Xander is moving through the hall when he sees Cordelia, coming his way. She sees him too. They
both turn – head in the opposite direction. Then Xander thinks better of it. Turns back and runs to
catch up with Cordelia.

XANDER
We need to talk.

He hustles her into an empty classroom.
INT. EMPTY CLASSROOM – DAY
Xander and Cordelia stand a good distance from each other, arms folded.

XANDER

Okay. Here’s the deal. There is no
reason for us to run every time we
see each other in the halls.
CORDELIA
Right. Okay.

(then)
Why shouldn’t we run?
XANDER

What happened. There is a total

explanation for it-
CORDELIA

You’re a pervert?
XANDER

Me? I seem to recall that I was the

jumpee, my friend-
CORDELIA

As if! You’ve probably been planning

this for months-
XANDER

(incredulous)

Right. I hired a Latvian Bug Man to
kill Buffy so I could kiss you. I
hate to burst your bubble, but you
don’t inspire me to spring for dinner
at Bucky’s Fondue Hut.
CORDELIA
Fine. Whatever. The point is,

don’t ever try it again-
XANDER

I didn’t try it! Forget the bugs.
Just the memory of your lips on mine

makes my blood run cold-
CORDELIA

If you dare breathe a word of this-
XANDER

Like I want anyone to know!
CORDELIA
Then it’s erased?
XANDER
Never happened.
CORDELIA
Good.
XANDER
Good!
And they FALL into each others arms. A smootchie!
INT. HALL OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOM – CONTINUOUS – DAY

A beat. Then we hear-
XANDER & CORDELIA (O.C.)

Arrrrrrgggggghhhhh!

EXT. SCHOOL – DAY
Buffy and Kendra are walking outside the front of the school toward the street. Kendra wears one of
Buffy’s shirts.

KENDRA

Thank you for the shirt. It is very
generous of you.
BUFFY

Oh, hey, it looks better on — well,
me, but don’t worry.
There is ease between them now — Kendra smiles at the barb.
BUFFY

Now, when you get to the airport —

KENDRA

I get on the plane with my ticket.
And sit in a seat. Not the cargo

hold.
BUFFY
Very good.
KENDRA

That is not traveling undercover.

BUFFY

Exactly. Relax. You earned it. You
sit. You eat the peanuts. You watch
the movie, unless it’s about a dog or

Chevy Chase.
KENDRA
I’ll remember.

They arrive at the curb where a taxi waits.

BUFFY

Thank you. For helping me save Angel.

KENDRA

I am not telling my Watcher about
that. It is too strange that a slayer
loves a vampire.
BUFFY
Tell me about it.
KENDRA
Still, he is pretty cute.
BUFFY

Well, then, maybe they won’t fire me

for dating him.
KENDRA
You always do that.
BUFFY
Do what?
KENDRA

You talk about slaying like it’s a job.
It’s not. It’s who you are.
BUFFY

You get that from the handbook?

KENDRA
From you.
BUFFY

I guess I can’t fight it. I’m a freak.

KENDRA
But not the only freak.
BUFFY
Not anymore.
A beat that turns awkward as Buffy moves forward —
KENDRA
I don’t hug.
BUFFY
No. Good. Hate hugs.

Kendra gets in the taxi. Buffy watches it pull away.
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
A mess. Black rubble everywhere.
CLOSE ON A PILE OF DEBRIS
From which a pale, sooty hand emerges.
ANOTHER HAND
Reaches down, grasps the buried hand by the wrist. Tugs.
WIDEN TO REVEAL
DRUSILLA – but unlike the Drusilla we’ve known. She is RADIANT with good health. Her whole
presence is RIPE, ALIVE.
She clears some of the debris, revealing SPIKE. He, in contrast to his mate, is scarred by fire and
motionless.
Drusilla bends, wipes some ash from his brow. He responds, unconscious – but alive.

DRUSILLA

Don’t worry, dear heart. I’ll see
that you get strong again . . .

She LIFTS SPIKE WITH ONE ARM. As if he were a toy. She obviously RELISHES every ounce of power.

DRUSILLA
Like me.

She smiles.

BLACKOUT.

THE END

Transcripts

Prologue

In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against
the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.
Angel’s apartment. Buffy and Kendra are faced off, ready to continue
their fight.
Buffy: (out of breath) Okay, one more time. You’re the who?!
Kendra: I’m de Slayer.
Buffy: Nice cover story. But here’s a tip: you might wanna try it on
someone who’s not the real Slayer.
Kendra: Ya can’t stop me! Even if ya kill me, anodder Slayer will be
sent to take me place.
Buffy: Could you stop with the Slayer thing? I’m the damn Slayer!
Kendra: Nonsense! Dere is but one, and I am she.
Buffy: Okay, (sniffs) a scenario. (holds up her hand) You back off,
I’ll back off, but you promise not to go all wiggy until we can go to my
Watcher and figure this out.
Kendra: Wiggy?
Buffy: You know. No kick-o, no fight-o?
Kendra considers the offer a moment, then relaxes her stance and crosses
her arms.
Kendra: I accept your scenario.
Buffy: So. You were sent here?
Kendra: Yes, by my Watcher.

Buffy: To do what, exactly?
Kendra: To do my duty. I am here to kill vampires.
Cut to the back room at Willy’s bar. The camera pans from the window
over to the cage. The sunlight has advanced past the cage door and is
only about three feet from the far wall. Angel is crouched in the far
corner, cowering and afraid. He looks up at the light coming through the
window.
Opening credits roll. Buffy’s theme plays.
~~ Part 1 ~~
The library. Kendra stands at attention as Giles paces. Buffy just leans
on a chair with her left hand and has her right hand on her hip.
Giles: And your Watcher is, i-is Sam Zabuto, you say?
Kendra: Yes, sir.
Giles: We’ve never met, but he, he’s, he’s very well-respected.
Buffy: What, so he’s a real guy? As in non-fictional?
Giles: And you are called…?
Kendra: I am de Vampire Slayer.
Buffy: We got that part, hon. He means your name.
Kendra: Oh. Dey call me Kendra. I have no last name, sir.
Buffy: (haughty) Can you say ‘stuck in the 80’s’?
Giles: Buffy, please. Uh, there’s obviously some, some misunderstanding
here.
Willow comes bouncing into the library with a smile on her face. Kendra
marches around Buffy to intercept her.
Willow: (greets them) Hey!
Kendra: Identify yourself!
Willow is taken aback and her smile fades to a frown.
Buffy: Back off, pink ranger! This is my friend.
Kendra: Friend?
Buffy: Yeah. As in person you hang with? Amigo?
Kendra: I don’t understand.
Buffy: (to Giles, exasperated) You try. I’m tapped. (sits)
Giles: Uh-uh, Kendra, uh, there are a-a-a few people, uh, ci-civilians

if you like, who, who know Buffy’s identity. Willow is one of them, a-a-
and they also, um, spend time together, uh, socially.

Kendra: And you allow dis, sir?
Giles: Well, uh…
Kendra: But de Slayer must work in secret for security.
Giles: Of course, uh, but, uh, with Buffy, however, it-it’s, um, some
flexibility is required.

Buffy gives Giles a look.
Kendra: Why?
Willow: (confused) Hi, guys. W-what’s goin’ on? (goes to sit across
from Buffy)
Buffy: Apparently there’s been a really big mix-up.
Giles: Uh, it seems somehow that, uh, another Slayer has been sent to
Sunnydale.
Willow: Is that even possible? I mean, two Slayers at the same time?
Giles: Not to my knowledge. Um, th-the new Slayer is only called after
the previous Slayer has died. Uh… (realizes) Oh, good Lord! You were
dead, Buffy.
Buffy: I was only gone for a minute.
Giles: Clearly it doesn’t matter how long you were gone. You were
physically dead! Thus causing the activation of the, the next Slayer.
(nods toward Kendra)
Kendra: She died?
Buffy: Just a little.
Giles: She drowned, but she was revived.
Willow: So there really are two of them!
Giles: It would seem so. This is completely unprecedented! I’m quite
flummoxed. (sits)
Buffy: What’s the flum? It’s a mistake, she isn’t supposed to be here,
she goes home! (to Kendra) Look, no offense, I really don’t mean this
personally, but I’m not dead, and frankly having you around creeps me
out just a little bit.
Kendra: I cannot just leave. I was sent here for a reason. Mr. Zabuto
said all de signs indicate dat a very dark power is about to rise in
Sunnydale.
Buffy: (gets up) And what’s your great plan for finding this dark
power? You just gonna attack people randomly till you find a bad one?
Kendra: Of course not.
Buffy: Then why the hell did you attack me?
Kendra: I tought you were a vampire.
Buffy: Oh, a swing and a miss for the rookie. (walks around Kendra to
Willow)
Kendra: I had good reason to tink you were. Did I not see you kissing a
vampire?
Willow: (stands up in her defense) Buffy would never do that!
(realizes) Oh. (to Buffy) Except for that sometimes you do that. (to
Kendra) But only with Angel. (to Buffy) Right? (sits again)
Buffy: Yes! Right. (to Kendra) Look, you saw me with Angel, and he is a
vampire, but he’s good.
Kendra: Angel? You mean Angelus? I’ve read about him. He is a monster.
Giles: No, no, no, he’s, he’s good now.

Willow: (smiles) Really!
Buffy: He had a gypsy curse.
Kendra: He has a what?
Buffy: Y’know what, just trust me on this one, okay? He’s on the home
team now.
Kendra: I cannot believe you. He looked to me just like anodder animal
when I…
Buffy: When you what? (confronts her) What did you do to him?
Kendra: I…
Buffy: What did you do?!
Cut to the back room of Willy’s bar. Angel leans against the back wall,
weakened by the ambient light. Willy comes in and looks at him. He opens
the cage door and walks in. He uses his body to shade Angel from the
direct sunlight and drags him out of the cage and into another storage
room. There he opens a hatch in the floor to the sewers below and drops
Angel down into the shallow water. Angel is too weak to get up on his
own. Willy lowers himself through the hatch and drops to the water, too.
He’s unhappy about the fact that his shoes have just been ruined. Spike
walks into the light from the shadows.
Willy: There you go, friend. He’ll be as good as new in a day or so.
Two of Spike’s thugs arrive to drag Angel away. Willy holds up his hands
to stop them.
Willy: Uh, hey, wai-wait. We had a deal, right?
Spike: (pulls out a wad of cash) What’s the matter, Willy? Don’t you
trust me? (starts handing him bills)
Willy: Oh, yeah. Like a brother.
Spike slaps him across the cheek.
Spike: Talk and I’ll have your guts for garters.
Willy: Wild horses couldn’t drag it.
Spike holds up the last bill, crumbles it and drops it into the water.
Spike: Oops! Sorry, friend.
Willy bends over to pick up the bill as the two thugs grab Angel and
drag him off.
Willy: What are you gonna do with him anyway?
Spike: I’m thinkin’ maybe dinner and a movie. I don’t want to rush into
anything. I’ve been hurt, you know.
He follows his goons down the sewer. Willy counts his money again.
Cut to Buffy’s house. Cut to the foyer. Norman’s case is open and
Cordelia is going through the samples.
Cordelia: Do you have anything in raisin? I know you wouldn’t think so,
but I’m both a winter and a summer.
Norman: Nine ninety-nine, tax included.
Cordelia: You said that already. Do you have anything in the berry
family?

Norman: Are there more ladies in the house?
Cordelia: Oh, no, they’re not home. (faces him) You know, nothing
personal, but maybe you should look into selling dictionaries, or…
some…
She sees a mealworm crawl out of his sleeve and onto his hand. Xander
comes back down the stairs and sees Norman. Cordelia slowly backs away
from him.
Xander: Hey, what’s up?
Cordelia: Um, he’s a salesman, and he was just leaving, right? Uh,
okay! Buh-bye! Thank you!
Xander: (reaches up to guide him out) Okay, Mary Kay, time to…
Another mealworm crawls across Norman’s cheek and into his right ear.
Xander backs away.
Xander: Time to run!
He breaks into a run, guiding Cordelia away with him as Norman
transforms into a mass of mealworms. They quickly crawl across the
floor. Xander and Cordelia run into the kitchen for the back door, but
Norman is already there, reassembled and waiting for them. Cordelia
screams, and Xander grabs her hand and pulls her back into the hall.
They open the door to the basement and hurry in, closing the door behind
them. The mealworms try to come under the door, but they stomp on them.
Xander: Find something to cover the crack under the door!
He grabs a broom and sweeps the mealworms back under the door with it.
Cordelia: Uhh… (finds a roll of duct tape) Here! I don’t do worms.
He gives her an exasperated look, grabs the roll from her and shoves the
broom into her hands.
Xander: Cover me!
She sweeps at the mealworms while he pulls a length of tape off of the
roll and sticks it to the bottom of the door.
Cordelia: Eww! Eh! Eh!
Cut to the back room of Willy’s bar. Buffy barges through the door.
Buffy: Angel?!
Kendra walks into the cage where she left him and looks around.
Kendra: No ashes.
Buffy: What?
Kendra: When a vampire combusts, he leaves ashes.
Buffy: Yeah, I know the drill.
Kendra: So I did not kill him.
Buffy: And I don’t need to kill you.
Willy shows up at the door.
Willy: Whoa! There’s a lotta tension in this room.
Kendra attacks him and pushes him out of the back room and onto the

floor.
Buffy: Doesn’t anyone just say ‘hello’ where you come from?
Kendra turns Willy over on the floor and grabs him by the shirt, ready
to punch.
Kendra: Dis one is dirty! I can feel it!
Buffy: That’s really good for you, Percepto Girl, (lifts him up) but
we’re not gonna get anything out of him if he’s, oh, say, (slams him
into the bar) unconscious. (to Willy) Where’s Angel?
Willy: My buddy Angel? You think I’d let him fry? I saved him in the
nick! He was about five minutes away from being a crispy critter.
Buffy: Where’d he go?
Willy: Uh, he said he was gonna stay underground. You know, recuperate.
Buffy: Are you telling me the truth?
Willy: I swear on my mother’s grave! Should something fatal happen to
her, God forbid.
Kendra: Den he is alright. We can return to your Watcher for our
orders.
Buffy: (lets go of Willy) I don’t take orders. I do things my way.
Kendra: No wonder you died.
Buffy: (ignores the comment) Let’s go.
They start to leave. Willy steps away from the bar.
Willy: I, I have to ask. (the girls looks back) Has either of you girls
considered modeling? I have a friend with a camera? Strictly high-class
nude work. You know, art photographs. But naked.
Buffy and Kendra exchange a look and just walk out without a word.
Willy: You don’t have to answer right away.
Cut to Drusilla’s bed. She’s asleep. Spike bends over her and strokes
her hair. She wakes.
Drusilla: (moans) I was dreaming.
Spike: Of what, pet?
Drusilla: We were in Paris. You had a branding iron.
Spike: I brought you something.
He goes over to the stairs and picks Angel up from the landing.
Drusilla: And there were worms in my baguette.
Spike: (drags Angel in) Your sire, my sweet. (dumps him on the floor)
Drusilla: My Angel?
Spike: (comes back to the bed) The one and only. Now all we need’s the
full moon tonight, and he will die, and you will be fully restored.
(takes her hand, whispers) My black goddess. (kisses her hand) My ripe,
(works his way up her arm) wicked plum. (raises his head) It’s been…
Drusilla: Forever.

They kiss passionately. Angel watches from the floor, all tied up and
gagged. He strains against his bonds. They break off their kiss.
Drusilla: Spike, let me have him. Hmm? Until the moon.
Spike: (smiles) Alright, you can play, but don’t kill him. He mustn’t
die till the ritual.
Drusilla: Bring him to me.
Spike picks Angel up from the floor and forces him over to Drusilla. She
grabs him by the chin and looks him in the eye.
Drusilla: You’ve been a very bad daddy.
She slaps him across the face. Angel is powerless to do anything.
~~ Part 2 ~~
Sunnydale High. Giles, Kendra, Willow and Buffy come down the outside
stairs and head into the halls.
Giles: Kendra, I-I’ve, uh, conferred with your Watcher, Mr. Zabuto,
and, uh, we both agree that, uh, until this matter with Spike and
Drusilla has been resolved that you two should work together.
Buffy: Oh, that’ll be a treat.
Kendra: So, you believe dat Spike is attempting to revive dis Drusilla
to health?
Giles: Yes, well, I-I-I-I think that’s the, uh, the dark power that
your, your Watcher re-referred to. You see, uh, you see Drusilla’s not
only evil, she’s, uh, well, she’s also quite mad, and-and-and-and if
she’s restored to her full health, then, uh, well, there’s no,
absolutely no telling what she might do.
Kendra: Den we will stop Spike.
Buffy: Ooo, good plan, let’s go, charge!
Giles: Buffy…
Buffy: It’s a little more complicated than that, John Wayne.
Giles: Yes, I’m, I’m afraid it is. You see, Spike has also called out
the Order of Taraka to keep Buffy out of the way.
Kendra: De assassins? I read of dem in de writings of Dramius.
Giles: Oh, really? W-w-which volume?
They exit the hall and walk along the colonnade.
Kendra: I believe it was six, sir.
Buffy: Um, how do you know all this?
Kendra: From me studies.
Buffy: So, obviously you have a lot of free time.
Kendra: I study because it is required. (Giles smiles) The Slayer
handbook insists on it.
Willow: There’s a Slayer handbook?
Buffy: Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don’t have a handbook?
Willow: Is there a T-shirt, too? (gets a look from Buffy) ‘Cause that

would be cool… (rolls her eyes)
Giles: After meeting you, Buffy, I realized that, uh, the handbook
would be of no use in your case.

Buffy: Well, what do you mean it would be of no use in my case? Wha-
what’s wrong with my case?

Giles: Uh, Kendra, um, perhaps you’d like to show me the, the part in,
uh, Dramius Six where, uh, uh, where it refers to the Order of Taraka.
Really, I-I, I seem to have never been able to get through that book. It
was a bit stodgy.
Kendra: (smiles) It was difficult. All dose footnotes.
Giles and Kendra laugh out loud.
Buffy: (to Willow) Hello, and welcome to planet pocket protector.
Giles: Oh, well, B-Buffy, Principal Snyder was snooping round after
you.
Buffy: (stops) Eee. Career fair.
Giles: Best make an appearance, I think.
Buffy: Right.
Kendra: Buffy’s a student here?
Giles: Yes.
Kendra: Riiight, of course. And I imagine she’s a cheerleader as well.
Giles: Oh, no, well, a-a-actually she had to give up her cheerleading.
(gets a look from Kendra) Uh, it was quite an amusing story, actually.
Uh, uh, let’s go and find the book, shall we?
The two of them head off to the library. Buffy and Willow continue their
walk.
Buffy: Get a load of the she-Giles.
Willow: Creepy.
Buffy: Ew. I’ll bet Giles wishes I was more of a book geek.
Willow: Giles is enough of a book geek for the both of you.
Buffy: Yeah, but did you see how they were vibing? (mocks them) Volume
six, ha, ha, ha!
Willow: Buffy, no one could replace you. You’ll always be Giles’
favorite.
Buffy: I wonder.
Willow: Of course, you will. You’re his Slayer. The real Slayer.
Buffy: No. I wonder if it would be so bad, being replaced.
Willow: You mean, like, letting Kendra take over?
Buffy: Maybe. I mean, maybe after this thing with Spike and the
assassins is over, I could say, ‘Kendra, you slay, I’m going to
Disneyland.’
Willow: But not forever, right?
Buffy: No, Disneyland would get boring after a few months. But I could

do other stuff. Career day stuff. Maybe I could even have a normal life.
Cut to Buffy’s basement. Cordelia is pacing.
Xander: Could you sit down, or change your pattern or something? You’re
making me queasy.
Cordelia: (leans on the washer) Because you’re just sitting there. You
should be thinking up a plan.
Xander: I have a plan. We wait. Buffy saves us.
Cordelia: How will she even know where to find us?
Xander: Cordelia, this is Buffy’s house. Odds are she’ll find us.
Cordelia: Well, what if she doesn’t? What am I supposed to do? Just
waste away down here with you? Haw, haw, no thank you! (makes tracks for
the stairs)
Xander: (gets up to stop her) What are you doin’?
Cordelia: (stops and faces him) Going to see if he’s gone!
Xander: That’s brilliant! What if he isn’t?
Cordelia: Oh, right! You think we should just slack here and hope that
somebody else decides to be a hero? (goes back to the washer) Sorry,
forgot I was stranded with a LOSER! (leans and crosses her arms)
Xander: And yet I never forgot that I’m stuck with the numb-brain that
let Mr. Mutant in the house in the FIRST PLACE!
Cordelia: HE LOOKED NORMAL!
Xander: What, is he supposed to have an arrow with the word ‘assassin’
over his head?! All it took was the prospect of a free makeover, and you
licked his hand like a big, dumb dog!
Cordelia: You know what? (heads for the stairs again) I’m going.
Xander just raises his eyebrows, ready to let her go. She stops at the
foot of the stairs and faces him again.
Cordelia: I’d rather be worm food than look at your pathetic face!
Xander: Then go! I’m not stopping ya!
Cordelia: I bet you wouldn’t! I bet you’d let a girl go off to her doom
all by herself!
Xander: Not just any girl. (nods) You’re special.
Cordelia: I can’t believe that I’m stuck spending what will probably be
my last few moments on Earth here WITH YOU!
Xander: I hope these are my last few moments! Three more seconds with
you, and I’m gonna… (steps closer)
Cordelia: (steps closer) I’m gonna what? Coward!
Xander: Moron!
Cordelia: I hate you!
Xander: I HATE YOU!
They look at each other for another second before grabbing each other
and engaging in a mad, passionate kiss. It goes on for several seconds
before they suddenly release each other and look at each other in

surprise.
Xander: We so need to get outta here.
Cordelia: (nods) Mm-hm!
She rushes up the stairs with Xander right behind. They stop at the top,
crouch down and give each other anxious looks. Xander grabs one end of
the tape and pulls it off. There aren’t any worms on the other side.
Xander moves the broom aside and opens the door slowly. They both look
out into the hall for any sign of the mealworms.
Cordelia: He’s gone.
Xander steps out and peeks around the corner down the hall to the dining
room. The coast looks clear, so Xander makes a dash for the front door.
Cordelia follows a moment later, and when she comes through the dining
room door mealworms begin falling onto her from the ceiling. She screams
as they fall on her en masse and runs for the door. Cut outside. Xander
throws the door open and dashes into the front yard. Cordelia follows
him out, screaming.
Cordelia: Xander, oh my God! Get them off of me!
Xander turns to look.
Cordelia: Get ’em off!
He runs for the hose.
Cordelia: (terrified) Get ’em off of me! Oh, my God, get ’em off me!
(screams)
Xander grabs the hose and starts spraying the mealworms off of her. She
keeps screaming and turns her back to him, then her front again. He
keeps spraying as she tries to brush them off. She turns around again to
let him spray her back again and reaches down the back of her dress to
get some mealworms out. She turns back around.
Cordelia: Okay, okay, let’s get outta here! Xander, let’s go!
He keeps spraying her in spite of her protests.
Cordelia: Okay! Let’s go!
She runs for her car. Xander follows her with the hose for another
instant, then drops it and follows her. Cut to a close-up of her license
plate, “QUEEN C”. She floors it, and they burn rubber into the street.
Further down the block she screeches round the corner.
Cut to the halls at the school. Buffy and Willow stroll along past the
career fair displays.
Buffy: My tests say that I should look into law enforcement — duh! —
and environmental design.
Willow: Environmental design. That’s landscaping, right?
Buffy: I checked the ‘shrub’ box. But landscaping was yesterday, so law
enforcement it is.
They stop near the steps to the couches in the lounge. Buffy looks
around and notices Oz looking over at Willow.
Buffy: (to Willow) Hey, Will, don’t look, okay, but… (Willow looks)
No, don’t look! (smiles) That guy over there is totally checking you
out.
Willow: (looks with her eyes) Oh, that’s Oz. He’s expressing computer
nerd solidarity.

Oz gets up and starts to walk over.
Buffy: Really? Then why is he on his way over here right now?
Willow is surprised when she sees him coming.
Buffy: Told you! (makes a discreet exit)
Oz: Hey.
Willow: (smiles) Hey! (notices) Your hair! Is brown!
Oz: Oh, yeah, sometimes. So, uh, did you decide? Are you gonna be a
Corporate Computer Suit Guy?
Willow: Oh. Uh, well, I-I think I’m gonna finish high school first.
What about you?
Oz: I’m not really a computer person, you know. Or a work of any kind
person.
Willow: They why’d they select you?
Oz: Oh, I sorta test well. Y’know, which is cool. E-except that it
leads to jobs.
Willow: Well, don’t you have some ambition?
Oz: Oh, yeah! Yeah. E-flat, diminished ninth.
Willow: Huh?
Oz: Well, the E-flat, it’s, it’s doable, but that diminished ninth,
y’know, it’s a man’s chord. Now, you could lose a finger.
Willow nods, pretending to understand.
Cut to Buffy. She signs up at the law enforcement table and joins the
group. Patrice, the recruitment officer, picks up the clipboard and
looks it over.
Patrice: Alright, listen up, and answer when I call your name. Buffy
Summers.
Buffy raises her hand. Patrice calmly puts the clipboard back down.
Quickly she draws her gun and aims it at Buffy. Buffy reacts in a flash
and pushes the recruiter’s hands and weapon up into the air as the first
round goes off. Panic sets in throughout the hall, and people start to
run and duck for cover. Buffy keeps struggling with the officer, and
another round goes into the ceiling. She knees her in the gut, and she
drops the gun and falls to the floor. Buffy starts to run as Patrice
gets to her knees and pulls out her backup gun. Another bullet flies at
Buffy as she dives over a table. She stands up again and looks around at
everyone.
Buffy: GET DOWN!
She starts to run again, right past Oz and Willow. Patrice follows Buffy
with her aim.
Oz: LOOK OUT!
He lunges for Willow and pulls her to the floor with him, but takes the
next bullet meant for Buffy in the arm. Patrice keeps following Buffy
with her gun and shoots off the cranium of a skeleton. Buffy has
disappeared down the hall, and the police recruiter carefully makes her
way to the wall to peek around it down the hall. She doesn’t see her,
but senses that she’s there, and decides to go to the other end of the
wall to come around the other side. The camera pans to the other side

where Buffy is leaning against the wall, breathing hard and waiting for
Patrice to make her next move. When she is about to come around the
other corner, Buffy leaps over a table and tackles her to the floor. She
drops her backup gun and it slides away. Buffy gets to her feet and
adopts a fighting stance. Patrice gets back to her knees, pulls out her
small ankle backup and aims it at Buffy as she stands back up. Before
she can get off a round Kendra kicks the gun out of her hands. She
follows it up with a kick to Patrice’s face, making her fall flat on her
back. She makes her stand next to Buffy. Patrice grabs Jonathon as a
hostage, pulls out a short blade and threatens him with it. The two
girls watch her slowly back toward the door at the end of the hall with
the boy in tow. Halfway there she drops Jonathon and makes a dash for
the door. Kendra doesn’t hesitate to give chase. Buffy rushes over to Oz
and Willow and kneels down next to them. Oz is holding his arm.
Buffy: How is he?
Willow: He’s shot! (to Oz) Are you okay?
Oz: I, uh, I’m shot! (takes his hand away briefly and chuckles) Y’know.
(laughs) Wow! It’s odd! And painful.
Buffy gets up again when Kendra shows back up.
Kendra: She’s gone.
Jonathon: W-was that a demonstration?
Buffy looks around at the scene.
Cut to the library. Giles has the first-aid kit out, and Willow is
wrapping Buffy’s knee.
Buffy: She was definitely one of the Taraka gang, Giles, and way gun
happy.
Giles: This, um, Oz chap, he, he, he’s alright?
Willow: The paramedic said it was only a scrape. Thank goodness.
Cordelia and Xander walk into the library. Kendra tries to head them
off.
Buffy: Down, girl!
Xander: Who sponsored career day today? The British Soccer Fan
Association?
Giles: (on his way to the table) We had a, a rather violent visit from
the Order of Taraka.
Xander: You wanna talk Order of Taraka? We just met the king freak of
the… (sees Kendra) Hello.
Kendra looks at the floor, humbling herself before Xander.
Giles: Oh, forgive me. Uh, Xander, Cordelia, this is Kendra. Uh, i-it’s
rather complicated, but she’s also a Slayer.
Cordelia: (heads for the table) Hi. Nice to meet you.
Xander: A Slayer, huh? (to Buffy) I knew this ‘I’m the only one, I’m
the only one’ thing was just an attention-getter.
Buffy: (hops off of the counter) Just say hello, Xander. (makes for the
table with Willow)
Xander: Welcome. So! You’re a Slayer, huh? I like that in a woman.
Kendra: (nervous) Uh… I hope… I tank you… I mean, sir, um… I

will be of service.
Xander: (looks at the others) Great! (to Kendra) Good. It’s good to be
a giver. (goes to the table)
Giles: Xander, um, this, this, uh, assassin you encountered, what, uh,
what did he look like?
Cordelia finds a mealworm in her hair and freaks out. She drops it onto
a book on the table and gets up.
Cordelia: Uhh! Uhh! Ohmigod, I’m showering! (runs from the library)
Xander: (indicates the mealworm) Like that.
Buffy: You and bug people, Xander. What’s up with that?
Xander: No, but this dude was completely different than praying mantis
lady. He was a man of bugs, not a man who was a bug.
He slams the biology book shut on the mealworm to kill it and sits down.
Giles: The, uh, the-the-the important thing is everybody’s alright.
Still, it’s quite apparent that we’re under serious attack.
Buffy: These Taraka are definitely serious. (looks at Kendra)
Fortunately for me, so is Kendra.
Giles: And, uh, I fear the worst is still to come. I’ve, I-I’ve
discovered the remaining keys to Drusilla’s cure. The, uh, the ritual
requires that, the presence of her sire, and it must take place in a
church on the night of the new moon.
Buffy suddenly looks very concerned.
Kendra: The new moon. But that is tonight.
Giles: Exactly. And I-I’m sure the assassins were here to kill Buffy
before she could put a stop to things.
Buffy: They need Drusilla’s sire. You mean the vamp that made her?
Giles: Yes.
Willow: Buffy, what is it?
Buffy: (looks down) Angel. He’s Drusilla’s sire.
Xander: Man, that guy got major neck in his day!
Willow slaps him hard on the shoulder.
Buffy: Will this ritual kill him?
Giles: Yes, I’m afraid it will.
Buffy: We need to find this church. We need to find where this ritual
is gonna take place!
Giles: Agreed, and we must work quickly. (checks his watch) We have
five hours before sundown.
Willow: (opens her laptop) Don’t worry, Buffy, we’ll save Angel.
Kendra: Angel? But our priority is to stop Drusilla!
Xander: Angel’s our friend! Except I don’t like him.
Buffy: Look, you’ve got your priorities, and I’ve got mine. Right now
they mesh. So, are you gonna help me, or are you gonna get out of my

way?
Kendra: (considers) I’m wit you.
Buffy: Good. ‘Cause I’ve had it. Spike is going down. You can attack
me, you can send assassins after me, that’s fine. But nobody messes with
my boyfriend!
~~ Part 3 ~~
Drusilla’s room. She runs her hand across the lid of an elegant wooden
box labeled ‘Holy Water’. She sings quietly as she lifts the lid and
takes out a small crystal pitcher.
Drusilla: The lamb is caught in the blackberry patch. (approaches
Angel) My mummy ate lemons. Raw.
She kneels next to him. Angel is tied to the posts of her canopy bed by
both wrists high above his head.
Drusilla: She said she loved the way they made her mouth… (runs her
hand down and up his chest) tingle. Little Anne.
She lets some of the holy water trickle onto his chest. It steams and
burns like acid. Angel jerks his head back in pain and stifles a scream.
Drusilla: Her favorite was custard… brandied pears.
Angel: Dru…
Drusilla: (sternly) Shhh! (stands up) And pomegranates. (climbs onto
the bed behind Angel) They used to make her face and fingers aaall red.
She reaches over his shoulder and lets more holy water dribble onto his
chest. Again Angel grits his teeth in pain, but won’t let himself scream
out loud.
Drusilla: Remember? Hmm? Little fingers. Little hands. Do you?
Angel: (shivering in pain) If I could…
Drusilla: (interrupts angrily) Bite your tongue! They used to eat cake,
and eggs, and honey. (sweetly) Until you came and ripped their throats
out.
She pours the rest of the holy water onto his chest, and Angel screams
out loud in agony.
Cut to the library. Giles comes out of the stacks and heads toward the
stairs with a large volume full of pictures. Willow is sitting on the
steps websurfing on her laptop. He looks down at her screen and sits
down next to her.
Giles: There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? (pulls out a roll
of mints) That seems a little excessive. (tears off some wrapping)
Willow: It’s the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray
harder.
Giles offers her a mint, and she smiles and takes one. He gets back up
and continues over to Xander and Cordelia at the table.
Giles: Well, check and see if any of them are closed or abandoned.
Xander: Yeah, yeah, we got monsters, we got demons, but no bug dude or
police lady.
Giles sets the volume down in front of them and opens it.
Giles: Well, you should have better luck with this one. There’s a whole

section devoted to the Order of Taraka.
Cut to Giles’ office. Kendra looks through the window at them doing
their research. Buffy is sharpening a knife.
Kendra: And dose two, dey also know you are de Slayer?
Buffy: Yep.
Kendra: Did anyone explain to you what ‘secret identity’ means? (goes
to the desk)
Buffy: Nope. Must be in the handbook. (Kendra picks up the crossbow)
Right after the chapter on personality removal. Be careful with that
thing!
Kendra: Please. I’m an expert in all weapons.
The bolt flies off of the crossbow and breaks a lamp. Buffy startles.
Giles heard the noise from the main room.
Giles: Is everything alright?
Buffy: Yeah, it’s okay. Kendra killed the bad lamp.
Kendra: Sorry! Dis, uh, trigger mechanism is different. (sets the bow
down) Perhaps when dis is over you can, uh, show me how to work it.
Buffy: When this is over I’m thinking pineapple pizza and teen video
movie fest. Possibly something from the Ringwald oeuvre.
Cut to the main room. Xander turns the page and finds a drawing of the
bug dude.
Xander: Oh, here we go! I am the bug man, coo coo ka choo.
Giles and Willow come over to have a look. Xander reads in another book.
Xander: Okay. Okay. He can only be killed when he’s in his disassembled
state. (to Cordelia) Disassembled. That means when he’s broken down into
his liiittle buggy parts.
Cordelia: I know what it means, dorkhead.
Xander: (takes mock offense) Dorkhead! You slash me with your words!
Giles rubs his eyes. Willow raises her eyebrows at them.
Cut to the office. Kendra is handling a stake.
Kendra: Your life is very different dan mine.
Buffy: You mean the part where I occasionally have one? Yeah, I guess
it is. (carves at a stake)
Kendra: De tings you do and have, I was taught, distract from my
calling. Friends, school… even family.
Buffy: Even family?
Kendra: My parents, dey sent me to my Watcher when I was very young.
Buffy: How young?
Kendra: I don’t remember dem, actually. I’ve seen pictures. But, uh,
dat’s how seriously de calling is taken by my people. My modder and
fadder gave me to my Watcher because dey believed dat dey were doing de
right ting for me, and for de world. (puts down the stake and gets a
sympathetic look from Buffy) Please, I don’t feel sorry for meself. Why
should you?

Buffy: I don’t know, I… I guess it just sounds very lonely.
Kendra: Emotions are weakness, Buffy. You shouldn’t entertain dem.
Buffy: Kendra, my emotions give me power. They’re total assets!
Kendra: (picks up her knife) Maybe. For you. But I prefer to keep an
even mind. (wipes the blade)
Buffy: (puts down her knife) Mm. I guess that explains it.
Kendra: Explains what?
Buffy: (plays with the stake) Oh, well, when we were fighting, uh,
you’re amazing! Your technique, it’s flawless, it’s, hmm, better than
mine.
Kendra: I know.
Buffy: Still, I woulda kicked your butt in the end. And ya know why? No
imagination.
Kendra: (rubs her blade more vigorously) Really? Ya tink so? (puts down
the rag)
Buffy: Oh, I know so. You’re good, but power alone isn’t enough. A good
fighter needs to know how to improvise, to go with the flow. Uh-uh,
seriously, don’t get me wrong, y-you really do have potential. (puts
away the stake)
Kendra: (holds her knife ready) Potential? I could wipe de floor wit
you right now!
Buffy: (looks Kendra in the eye) That would be anger you’re feeling.
Kendra: What?
Buffy: You feel it, right? How the anger gives you fire? A Slayer needs
that.
They both look over at Xander as he walks into the office.
Xander: Excuse me, ladies.
Kendra looks down at the floor while he grabs a book from the desk.
Xander notices her knife.
Xander: Nice knife. (leaves the office)
Buffy: I’m guessing dating isn’t big with your Watcher either.
Kendra: I’m not permitted to speak with boys.
Buffy: Unless you’re pummeling them. (has a realization) Wait a minute.
Kendra: What?
Buffy: That guy! The sleazoid you nearly decked in the bar.
Kendra: You tink he might help us?
Buffy: I tink we might make him!
Cut to Drusilla’s room. She is kneeling between Angel’s spread-apart
legs and holds the little pitcher of holy water above him.
Drusilla: Say ‘Uncle’. (lowers the pitcher) Oh, that’s right, you
killed my uncle.

She is about to pour some onto his chest again when Spike comes in.
Spike: That’s it, then. (Drusilla looks up at him) Off to church.
Drusilla: (stands up) It makes pretty colors.
Spike: Pft! I’ll see him die soon enough. I’ve never been much for the
pre-show.
He reaches up to untie one of Angel’s bonds while Drusilla puts away the
holy water and gets Miss Edith.
Angel: Too bad. That’s what Drusilla likes best, as I recall.
Spike: What’s that supposed to mean? (steps over to the other bond)
Angel: Ask her. She knows what I mean.
Drusilla has come back to stand behind Spike’s shoulder, and he turns
his head to face her.
Spike: Well?
Drusilla: (to Angel) Shhh! Grrrruff! Bad dog.
Angel: You shoulda let me talk to him, Dru. Sounds like your boy could
use some pointers. She likes to be teased.
Spike has finished untying the other bond and throws it to the floor.
Spike: Keep your hole shut! (stands over him)
Angel: Take care of her, Spike. The way she touched me just now? I can
tell when she’s not satisfied.
Spike: I said SHUT UP!
He grabs Angel by the throat, lifts him to his feet and holds him
against the bedpost.
Angel: Or maybe you two just don’t have the fire we had.
Spike: That’s enough.
He pounds his other hand into the wooden railing of Drusilla’s bed,
grabs the piece that broke off and holds it up to stake Angel.
Drusilla: Spike, no!
Spike holds back. Angel tries to goad him on with a stare. Drusilla
steps over to Spike and gently puts her arm on his shoulder and snuggles
up to him.
Drusilla: Shhh.
Spike: Oh! Right. Right, you almost got me! Aren’t you a ‘throw himself
to the lions’ sort of sap these days. Well, the lions are on to you,
baby. See, if I kill you now you go quick, and Dru hasn’t got a chance.
And if Dru dies your little Rebecca of Sunnyhell Farm and all her mates
are spared her coming-out party. (squeezes Angel’s throat)
Drusilla: Spike, the moon is rising. It’s time.
Spike: Too bad, Angelus. Looks like you go the hard way. Along with the
rest of this miserable town.
He keeps holding Angel against the bedpost as he and Drusilla engage in
a passionate kiss.
Cut to Willy’s bar. Buffy shoves him up against the shelves of liquor

bottles.
Willy: Ah! Honest! I don’t know where Angel is!
Buffy: What about this ritual? What have you heard?
Willy: N-nothing! I-it’s all hush-hush!
Kendra: Just hit him, Buffy!
Buffy: (to Willy) She likes to hit.
Willy: You know, m-maybe I did hear something about this ritual. Yeah,
i-i… I-it’s coming back to me. But, uh, I’d have to take you there.
Buffy: Let’s go. (starts to drag him out of the bar)
Kendra: First we must return to de Watcher.
Buffy: (stops) Excuse me? While we run to Giles, this whole thing could
go down!
Kendra: But it is procedure.
Buffy: It’s brainless, you mean! If we don’t go now, Angel could die.
(starts out again)
Kendra: Is dat all you’re worried about? Your boyfriend?
Buffy: (stops again) No, it’s not all, but it’s enough.
Kendra: It’s as I feared. He clouds your judgment. We can’t stop dis
ritual alone!
Buffy: Are you listening to me? He could die!
Kendra: He’s a vampire. He should die. Why am I de only person who
sees it?
Buffy just stares at her a moment before turning around again and
heading for the door with Willy in tow.
Kendra: Are you dat big a fool?
Buffy shoves Willy out ahead of her and leaves Kendra behind in the bar.
Kendra: (exhales) Good riddance, den.
Cut to the church. Cut inside. Willy leads her down an arched hallway.
Willy: Here ya go. Don’t ever say your friend Willy don’t come through
in a pinch.
They round a corner, and Patrice and a vampire are waiting there for
them.
Willy: Here ya go. Don’t ever say your friend Willy don’t come through
in a pinch.
Norman and another vampire block her escape from behind.
~~ Part 4 ~~
The nave of the church. Spike walks up the main aisle from the altar
with a burning incense censer.
Spike: Eligor. I name thee. Bringer of war, poisoners, pariahs, grand
obscenity.
He turns back to the altar. Angel and Drusilla are both strapped

together to a chain that hangs from the ceiling. Angel’s right hand is
tied to the chain above his head.
Spike: Eligor, wretched master of decay, bring your black medicine.
Drusilla: Black medicine.
Spike sets the censer down on the altar and picks up the Du Lac Cross
with his gloved hand.
Spike: Come. (holds up the cross upside-down) Restore your most
impious, murderous child.
Drusilla: Murderous child.
He grabs the downward-pointing tip of the cross with his other hand and
yanks down, pulling out a dagger. He lays the rest of the cross back on
the altar.
Spike: From the blood of the sire she is risen.
He takes Drusilla’s left hand and raises it to Angel’s, and she clasps
it.
Spike: From the blood of the sire, she shall rise again.
With one swift stroke Spike stabs the blade through their hands. Angel
screams in agony. A blindingly bright pink light emanates from their
wounds. A pulse of energy spreads out, and then the light dies back down
to a faint glimmer as Angel’s strength begins to ebb from him into
Drusilla. She droops backward, feeling Angel’s energy flow into her.
Spike: Right, then! Now we just let them come to a simmering boil, and
remove to a low flame.
Willy barges through the door and strides into the nave with the
vampires and assassins escorting Buffy close behind.
Willy: It’s payday, pal. I got your Slayer.
Spike strides up the aisle to meet him.
Spike: (angry) Are you tripping?! You bring her here?! Now?!
Willy: You said you wanted her.
Buffy sees Angel and Drusilla tied together at the altar.
Spike: In the ground, pinhead! I wanted her dead.
Willy: Now, that’s not what I heard. Word was there was a bounty on her
dead or alive.
Spike: You heard wrong, Willy.
Buffy: (whispers) Angel.
Spike: Yeah. (steps over to Buffy) It bugs me, too, seeing him like
that. Another five minutes, though, and Angel will be dead, so… I
forebear. Don’t feel too bad for Angel, though, he’s got something you
don’t have.
Buffy: (angry) What’s that?
Spike: Five minutes. Patrice!
She lets go of Buffy and draws her gun. Buffy struggles to get loose
from the vampire holding her. The other door suddenly bursts open, and
Kendra comes in doing a series of backflips, ending in a flying double
kick, one foot to the back of each of the vampire’s heads. They fall to

the floor, pushing Buffy into Spike and knocking him down. Kendra lands
on her feet, ready to fight. She wastes no time running over to Spike as
he gets up, meeting Buffy there to fight him.
Spike: Who the hell is this?!
Kendra grabs him by the shirt.
Buffy: It’s your lucky day, Spike.
Kendra: Two Slayers! (decks him)
Buffy: No waiting! (jabs him)
Spike falls but quickly gets up. Buffy breaks off to fight Patrice,
leaving Kendra to take care of Spike. He ducks a roundhouse kick from
her. Buffy faces off with Patrice. She extends her arms down, and a
blade slides out from each sleeve. One of the vampires gets up from the
floor next to them and starts to reach for Buffy when a bolt impales
him. He falls and turns to ashes while Giles looks on from the door,

still holding the crossbow. Buffy and Patrice begin to fight hand-to-
hand. Patrice thrusts one blade, then the other at Buffy, but she

catches her arms and holds them up while she knees Patrice in the
stomach. Buffy follows up with a kick to her face and sends her
stumbling back into the wall. Spike lands a punch on Kendra, knocking
her down, and she scrambles to avoid his follow-up kick. The other
vampire gets up also, and Giles runs to engage him. He swings the
crossbow at him, but the vampire grabs it, and they struggle over it.
Giles swings at the vampire and hits him in the face. Willow jumps up
onto his back and starts choking him with her arm. Xander spots Norman
and taunts him.
Xander: Hey, larvae boy! (Norman sees him) Yeah, that’s right, I’m
talkin’ to you, ya big cootie!
Norman smiles and starts after him. Xander scrambles for the doors and
carefully steps through as he closes them behind him to avoid stepping
into the puddle of liquid adhesive Cordelia has poured there. She still
has the bucket in her hand.
Xander: Welcome, my little pretties!
Norman comes under the door as a mass of mealworms. Back inside Giles
punches the vampire twice while Willow keeps holding on. Kendra jumps
over Spike when he tries to knock her legs out from under her. She tries
another roundhouse kick, but he blocks it. He uses the momentum of the
block to spin around and hit her again. Patrice gets back up and comes
for Buffy. She ducks a kick from Buffy and lunges at her with her
blades, but Buffy handily blocks her. She swings at Buffy’s face with
one, but Buffy ducks out of the way. Out in the hall the mealworms have
gotten stuck in the adhesive and Xander and Cordelia begin to stomp
them. Inside Kendra swings at Spike and is blocked. Spike lands another
hit on her. Buffy punches Patrice in the face and sends her staggering
back into the wall again. Spike punches Kendra again, and follows up
with a roundhouse kick. She hits the floor and scrambles back up again.
Buffy notices her getting knocked around.
Buffy: Switch!
She bends over and Kendra rolls over her back to face Patrice,
immediately landing a punch and knocking her into the wall a third time.
Buffy faces Spike.
Spike: I’d rather be fightin’ you anyway.
Buffy: Mutual.
She blocks his thrust, then kicks him in the face and again in the gut.
He doubles over and falls to the floor. In the hall Cordelia and Xander
continue stomping away.

Cordelia: Die! Die, die, die! Die!
Xander puts his hand on her lower back to calm her.
Xander: I think he did, Cordy.
She drops the bucket and they run off. Inside, Buffy blocks a punch from
Spike, and another, but then he lands punches to her stomach and face.
She blocks his next swing and holds his arm while she punches him twice
in the face. She grabs his coat and pulls him around and throws him over
several pews and into the wall. Behind another pew Willy gets up. Spike
growls as he stands back up and sees Willy trying to sneak out of the
church. He rushes over and grabs him by the back of the neck.
Spike: Where are you going?
Buffy seizes the opportunity to run to the altar and pull the dagger out
of Angel and Drusilla’s hands.
Willy: Now, there’s a way in which this isn’t my fault!
Spike: They tricked you.
Willy: Mm-hm! They were duplicitous!
Spike: Well, then I’ll only kill you just this once. (goes for the
bite)
Drusilla: (weakly) Spike!
Spike stops before biting Willy and looks over at her. He sees Buffy
trying to untie them. He lets go of Willy and rushes over to the altar,
grabs Buffy and shoves her to the floor. He backhand punches her as she
gets back up, knocking her down again. Willy wastes no time running out
of the church past Willow and Giles, who are still fighting the other
vampire. Giles has him held back by both arms and Willow has a stake
raised to kill him.
Willow: Hold him steady!
She plunges the stake into the vampire’s heart and he bursts into ashes,
leaving Giles all dusty. Xander and Cordelia run into the back of the
nave as Willow pats the dust off of Giles. Patrice throws Kendra over a
knocked-over pew and climbs over after her. She swings at Kendra twice,
but misses both times when Kendra ducks. She swings again and this time
slashes her in the arm. Kendra grabs her wound and looks down at it.
Kendra: Dat’s me favrit shirt! Dat’s me only shirt!
Now Kendra is really mad, and she kicks Patrice in the back of the knee,
making her lose her balance. She grabs Patrice by the arm and throws her
into a cabinet in front of the organ, smashing it to pieces and knocking
her out. Kendra runs over to join the others. Spike takes a torch from
its wall hanger and throws it into a pile of old drapes, setting them
ablaze.
Xander: Look out!
Spike unstraps Drusilla from Angel.
Spike: Sorry, baby. Gotta go.
He lifts her into his arms and starts down the aisle.
Spike: Hope that was enough.
With nothing holding him up anymore Angel falls to the floor behind
them. Buffy crawls over to him and sees Spike making his escape. She
stands up and grabs the censer from the altar. She swings it around her

head by its chain a few times and launches it at Spike. It hits him in
the back of the head, and he stumbles into the church organ. The
keyboard console collapses under his weight.
Buffy: I’m good!
A moment later the organ superstructure collapses onto Spike and
Drusilla, with its huge brass pipes clanging and rolling everywhere.
Buffy turns her attention back to Angel and helps him sit up. She
cradles his head with her arm.
Buffy: (quietly) Hi.
Kendra sees the way they look at each other. Buffy brushes Angel’s
cheek. Giles and the others watch them through the flames. Kendra runs
over and crouches down next to Buffy and Angel.
Kendra: Let’s get him out!
Angel moans as they begin to help him up.
Buffy: Careful!
Kendra: C’mon.
With their help he gets to his feet. Kendra gets under his arm to
support him. The others run out of the church as the three of them make
their way up the aisle and out the other door. The wreckage of the organ
has caught fire now, too.
Cut to the school lounge the next day. Oz is getting a box of animal
crackers from a vending machine. His arm is in a sling. He straightens
up and sees Willow there.
Oz: Oh, hey! (offers the box) Animal cracker?
Willow: (smiles) No, thank you. How’s your arm?
Oz: (tries to open the box) Suddenly painless.
Willow: You can still play the guitar okay?
Oz: Oh, not well, but not worse.
They start to walk down the hall. Willow takes the box from him to open
it.
Willow: Y’know, I never really thanked you.
Oz: Ooo, yeah, please don’t. I don’t do thanks. (Willow hands back the
open box) I get all red. Have to bail. It’s not pretty.
Willow: (smiles) Well, then forget that thing. E-especially with the
part where I kind of owe you my life.
Oz: (pulls out a cookie and stops) Oh, look! Monkey! And he has a
little hat. And little pants.
Willow: (smiles) Yeah, I-I see!
Oz: The monkey’s the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you
know that?
Willow smiles brightly.
Oz: You have the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen.
Willow is surprised by the compliment.
Oz: (continues down the hall) So, I’m wondering, do the other cookie

animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, ‘Hey, man, where
are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!’
Willow laughs.
Oz: And you know the monkey’s just, (with a French accent) ‘I mock you
with my monkey pants!’
Willow laughs more.
Oz: And there’s a big coup in the zoo.
Willow: The monkey is French?
Oz: All monkeys are French. You didn’t know that?
Willow: No. (giggles)
Cut to another part of the halls. Cordelia comes walking along. When she
sees Xander she immediately turns and walks the other way. Xander runs
around her and stops her.
Xander: We need to talk.
Cordelia rolls her eyes and crosses her arms as she goes into an empty
classroom. Xander looks back and forth down the hall to make sure no one
sees them going in together and follows her. He stands a distance away
from her. They both fidget with their hands.
Xander: Okay, uh-uh-uh… here’s the deal. We don’t have to run every
time we see each other in the hall.
Cordelia: Right. Okay. Why shouldn’t we run?
Xander: What happened, there’s a total explanation for it.
Cordelia: You’re a pervert?
Xander: Me?
Cordelia: Yeah!
Xander: No-no-no-no! (takes a step closer) I seem to recall I was the
jumpee, my friend!
Cordelia: As if! (takes a step closer) You’ve probably been planning
this for months!
Xander: Right, I hired a Latvian bug man to kill Buffy so I could kiss
you. I hate to burst your bubble, but you don’t inspire me to spring for
a dinner over at Bucky’s Fondue Hut.
Cordelia: Fine! Whatever. (starts to leave, but steps back, closer) You
know, the point is: don’t try it again!
Xander: I didn’t try it! (calms a bit) Forget about the bugs, okay? The
memory of your lips on mine makes my blood run cold.
Cordelia: (steps closer) If you dare breathe a word of this…
Xander: Like I want anyone to know!
Cordelia: Then it’s erased!
Xander: Never happened!
Cordelia: Good!
Xander: Good!

Cordelia: Good!
They stare into each other’s eyes for a moment, and then grab each other
in another mad, passionate kiss. This time they don’t break off.
Cut to the front of the school. Buffy is walking Kendra to her taxi.
Kendra: Tank you for de shirt, it was very generous of you.
Buffy: Hey, it looks better on… well, me, but no worries. Now, when
you get to the airport…
Kendra: I get on de plane with me ticket, and sit in a seat. Not de
cargo hold.
Buffy: Very good.
Kendra: Dat is not traveling under cover.
Buffy: Exactly. Relax! You earned it. Sit in your seat, you eat your
peanuts, you watch the movie, well, unless it’s about a dog or Chevy
Chase.
Kendra: I’ll remember. (opens the cab door)
Buffy: I, um… I just wanted to thank you… for helping me save
Angel.
Kendra: Mm. Am not tellin’ me Watcher about dat. It is too strange dat
a Slayer loves a vampire.
Buffy: (smirks) Tell me about it.
Kendra: Still, he is pretty cute.
Buffy: Well, maybe they won’t fire me for dating him.
Kendra: You always do dat.
Buffy: Do what?
Kendra: You talk about slaying like it’s a job. It’s not. It’s who you
are.
Buffy: Did you get that from your handbook?
Kendra: From you.
Buffy: I guess it’s something I really can’t fight. (smiles) I’m a
freak.
Kendra: Not de only freak.
Buffy: Not anymore.
They look at each other for a moment, then Buffy makes a move to hug
Kendra, but she backs away.
Kendra: I don’t hug.
Buffy: Right. No. Good. Hate hugs.
Kendra smiles at her and gets into the cab. Buffy holds up her hand in
good-bye. She watches as the taxi pulls away.
Cut to the church. The fire has burned itself out. The camera pans over
the scorched rubble of the pipe organ to Spike, unconscious but
breathing. Drusilla grabs him by the arm. She is vamped out.
Drusilla: Don’t worry, dear heart.

She pulls him off of the floor and holds him up by his arm. His head
just droops down.
Drusilla: I’ll see that you get strong again.
She scoops up his legs with her other arm.
Drusilla: Like me!
Slowly she carries him from the charred remains of the church.