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Ridding Sunnydale of one slimy demon provides little distraction for Buffy, Xander, and Willow, who are still coping with the aftermath of their relationship woes.
Cordy is taking it the hardest, ignoring the vast amount of answering machine messages left by Xander while burning all the pictures of her ex-boyfriend. The next morning, Willow tries once again to patch up her relationship with Oz.
Unfortunately, he needs some space and time to make any decisions on the matter. Cordelia arrives at school dressed to kill, but she soon learns that all of her old friends still have no respect for her, even after Xander Harris has left the picture.
Harmony introduces Cordy to Anya, a new girl in town, before harshly insulting her former best friend. Anya takes an immediate interest in Cordy’s personal troubles.
Later that night, Cordy and Anya go to the Bronze, where Xander is also in attendance, along with Buffy and Willow. After getting up to fetch a few drinks, Buffy notices Cordy abruptly exiting, so she follows her into the alley.
Before Buffy can get Cordelia to open up and vent her problems, a vampire intervenes. The ensuing fight sends Cordy into a nearby pile of trash. With the last straw exposed, Cordelia identifies Buffy as the source of all of her troubles.
As she explains to Anya the next day, none of the bad things in Cordy’s life would have ever happened if Buffy never came to Sunnydale. Anya removes her necklace and places it around Cordy’s neck. Cordy declares her wish that Buffy never made that fateful trip.
At this point, Anya reveals herself to be not quite human and says, “Done.” A bright light flashes, and suddenly the Sunnydale High campus is much less crowded than it was a moment ago. Cordelia quickly realizes that Anya must have granted her wish.
However, this new version of Sunnydale is not as ideal as she imagined it would be. There’s a city curfew that coincides with sunset. The Bronze is no longer the place to be at night. And Xander and Willow, as Harmony tells her, are dead.
Night falls as Cordelia wanders the deserted streets of Sunnydale. She encounters Xander and tells him that they have to get Buffy. Willow arrives, and Cordy learns that they are now vampires. Before Xander can kill her, a familiar van pulls up to the scene of the inevitable crime.
Giles gets out, warding Xander and Willow off with a cross. Behind him, Oz sits in the driver’s seat with a crossbow aimed at the vamps. Larry and a girl named Nancy get out of the van and pull Cordy to safety. Giles gets back inside, and the van takes off.
Cordelia is brought to the library, which serves as the main base for the resistance against the vampires. Meanwhile, Xander and Willow return to the Bronze, which is now the headquarters for The Master and his minions.
The Master orders Xander and Willow to kill Cordelia before she can contact the Slayer and interfere with his latest scheme. Back at the library, Cordy finally comes to and tells Giles about her wish and that they need Buffy.
Unfortunately, neither of them realize that Xander and Willow have infiltrated the library. Locked inside the bookcage, Giles can only hopelessly watch as Xander and Willow sink their fangs into Cordelia, draining her of all of her blood.
After the vampires leave, Giles uses an axe from his weapons cabinet to bust open the cage. Larry and Oz arrive, informing Giles that Nancy is now dead. As they Pick up Cordy’s lifeless body to bring to the incinerator, Giles notices her necklace and removes it.
The next morning, Willow plays around with Angel, who the Master has locked up in th basement of the Bronze as punishment. At the library, Giles discovers through his books that the necklace represents Anyanka, the “Patron Saint of Scorned Women”.
He realizes that Anyanka must have granted a wish that Cordy made which resulted in the world they’re living in right now. Giles calls Buffy’s Watcher in Cleveland and leaves a message.
While driving down the streets later that night, Giles sees some vampires packing a group of humans into the back of a truck. He wards them off with the cross, enabling the humans to escape. However, he is knocked down from behind.
Before the vampires can finish him, another challenger enters the fray. Giles watches the vampires face defeat at the hands of this newcomer, then realizes that this new girl is the one and only Buffy Summers.
After taking her back to his apartment, Giles informs her of what he’s learned concerning Anyanka. In order to reverse all of her wishes and render her powerless, Anyanka’s powercenter must be destroyed.
Buffy is clearly uninterested in this, and is more concerned with taking out the Master. Buffy goes to the Bronze, which is now deserted. In the basement, she finds Angel locked up behind bars.
While she doesn’t recognize him, Angel knows exactly who she is from all the time he spent secretly observing her in Los Angeles. Angel leads Buffy to a factory where the Master has unveiled a machine that will revolutionize the lifestyle of vampires everywhere.
This device can drain a person’s body of all of its blood and dispense it into glasses and cups in mere seconds. Buffy and Angel step in to put a stop to the festivities. While Buffy fights the vampires head-on, Angel frees the human prisoners.
In the course of the battle, Angel, Xander, and Willow are dusted. While Buffy continues to fight, Giles summons Anyanka and identifies her glowing necklace as her powercenter.
As he rips it from her neck and prepares to smash it, the Master overpowers Buffy and snaps her neck, fulfilling the prophecy in the Pergamum Codex in this reality as well. Giles smashes the necklace, and suddenly Cordelia is standing in front of Anya again.
Anya realizes that she is no longer able to grant Cordy’s wish. As Cordy walks off, she passes by Buffy, Xander, and Willow, who are still alive and well.
EXT. PARK – DAY
As we move through a wooded park area — and land on A PAIR OF TRUNK-LIKE, NOT QUITE HUMAN
Now we PAN UP the legs and see BUFFY’S FEET DANGLING, kicking. In a moment we get the whole
picture – Buffy is in the IRON GRIP of A HUGE, HIDEOUS DEMON. He’s got her by the neck, and she’s
flailing – gasping.
Is picking himself painfully up, obviously reeling from a blow.
Rifles through Buffy’s weapon bag nearby – frantic.
Oh, God, Oh, God – Demon, demon –
what kills a demon?!
Hears this – tries to talk, unsuccessfully.
Oh! Nurf? Not nurf! Knife!
Willow snatches a ceremonial KNIFE from the bag. She TOSSES it to Buffy – who catches it and
THRUSTS it into the demon’s belly. The demon BELLOWS AND DIES. Both he and Buffy fall to the
ground with a painful THUD.
A long BEAT as they re-group. Xander and Willow move to Buffy – help her to her feet.
Okay. That was too close for
comfort. Not that slaying is ever comfy…
But you know what I mean. If you
guys hadn’t been here to help-
But we were. And we did. And we’re all fine.
Isn’t he gonna go poof?
I guess these guys don’t. We’ll have
to bury him or something. Makes you
appreciate vampires. No muss, no fuss.
How come Faith was a no show? I thought
the mucussy demons were her favorites.
Couldn’t reach her — again. She hasn’t
been hanging out much. Off by herself.
I detect worry.
Little bit. Slaying’s a hard gig —
too much alone time isn’t always
healthy. Stuff gets pent up.
We should try to do more socializing with her.
Well, burial detail aside, does this
cap us off for the day?
You got plans?
I cannot stress enough how much I
don’t have plans.
No luck reaching Cordelia?
I left a few messages, sixty or seventy…
And you know what bugs me? Okay, we
were kissing, it’s wrong, but I know
that was positively the last time we
ever would have kissed.
And they burst in, rescuing us
without even knocking, I mean this is
really all their fault.
The girls look at him.
Your logic does not resemble our Earth-logic.
Mine is more advanced.
At least tomorrow’s Monday. Another school day.
That’s right. Focus on school.
Focus on yourself. That’s the strong
Willow way to heal.
Actually — I was more thinking “Oz
will be there and I can beg for forgiveness.”
That works too.
I want to be strong Willow. But then
when I think I might not ever get to
be close to Oz again… it’s like all
the air goes out of the room.
I know the feeling.
They rise. Buffy grabs the demon’s legs. Her friends immediately flank her, ready to help drag him
Right. You’ve been through it all
with Angel and you’re still standing.
So, tell us, wise one, how do you deal?
She contemplates. Then, simply —
I have you guys.
They start to drag him off toward the bushes.
INT. CORDELIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
A PHOTOGRAPH OF XANDER, WILLOW, BUFFY and CORDELIA – as a large pair of SCISSORS come
into frame and cuts each one out, separating them.
In the background we can hear XANDER’S voice on an answering machine.
Hey. It’s Xander. If you get this, call me.
Now we MOVE UP to see that it’s CORDELIA who is doing the slice and dice job while she ignores the
phone machine. Her eyes are red from crying and she looks just about as bad as an incredibly
beautiful person can look.
Hi. Xander… I, uh, well, I’m in if
you feel like talking. Bye.
Now we WIDEN and see that she’s wearing sweats and a sports top – and a LARGE WHITE BANDAGE
that spans one side of her torso, covering the injury she sustained in episode 8. We also see that her
ROOM is a TOTAL MESS. Littered with clothes and diet soda cans and junk food wrappers…
She slices the heads off Buffy and Willow.
Hi, Cordelia…. Uh….
Now Cordy takes the Xander portion and LIGHTS it on fire with a match. She drops it into an ashtray
- watches the FUMES RISING – her expression betraying the chilling mix of hurt and fury that is
unmistakably the look of a woman scorned.
CLOSE ON PHOTO
As XANDER, BUFFY & WILLOW’S faces shrivel and burn.
If you get the chance… if we can
talk… I’m here…
END OF TEASER
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY – DAY
Another bustling day at Sunnydale High as Buffy joins Willow – who is looking more than a little
How’s it going?
Oz hasn’t been to his locker. There
may be books in there that he needs,
but still he doesn’t come.
What about Cordy? Has Xander seen her?
I don’t think so. But she is coming
in today. Amy saw her last night at the mall.
How was she?
I don’t know. Amy said she looked
EXT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – PARKING LOT – DAY
We see a CARETAKER with his cleaning cart as the camera MOVES ACROSS FRAME. Cordelia’s
convertible SCREECHES into the parking lot and zips into a parking space.
The car door opens. A WICKED STILETTO HEEL hits the pavement.
WIDEN TO SHOW
CORDELIA, drop dead in A KILLER designer outfit and dark shades. Totally transformed from the
night before – she looks both sexy and sinister.
EXT. FOUNTAIN COURT – DAY
Cordelia moves into the fountain court, which is bustling. Many heads turn and there are some
whispers – it’s clear that the word is out about her and Xander. Now Cordy spots HARMONY and the
Cordettes at one end of the quad with another girl that Cordy doesn’t recognize. There is a moment
of hesitancy on both sides. Then Harmony moves toward Cordy-
(giving “air kiss”)
Cordelia. You look amazing.
Now THE NEW GIRL we saw standing with them, ANYA, moves over with the rest of the Cordettes.
Like Cordy, she’s incredibly turned out – a real stunner.
You have to meet Anya. She just
moved here. Her dad bought – what
was it? A utility or something.
Anya smiles. Gives Cordy the once over – as Cordy does the same to her. Notices her shoes.
Nice bag. Prada?
Cordy’s clearly surprised by Anya’s educated guess.
Good call. Most people around here
can’t tell Prada from Payless.
What can I say? I have an eye for
the good stuff.
They’d go on but Harmony takes Cordy’s arm. Speaks to her in a conspiratorial tone.
God – Cordy, when I heard about…
I mean, I just couldn’t believe it.
But it was smart – the “injury”
thing? You take a week off. Let
everybody forget the temporary
insanity that was Xander Harris…
Cordy gets her drift. Decides to go along.
Harmony and the others laugh. Cordelia brightens – it looks like she’s back in the fold.
You know what you have to do. Start
dating. Get back on the horse.
Absolutely. I’m ready to ride.
Then I have the stallion. He’s so you.
Perfect! Lead the way.
Harmony and the minions PART and all look at-
Who sits under a tree, sipping on a BIG GULP. He notices the girls. Checks to see if it’s really him
they’re looking at. Yep. He waves.
ON CORDELIA, HARMONY, ET AL.
Harmony smiles cruelly at Cordy – enjoying every minute of her humiliation.
I’m pretty sure he won’t cheat on
you. At least not for a while.
Plus – he’s got a kill moped.
Now the girls LAUGH. Except Anya – who appears too cool for such silliness. Still – Cordy’s stunned.
Frozen in place.
With that – Harmony moves off. Like lemmings, the rest of the girls follow.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY – DAY
Oz moves to his locker. A beat and WILLOW appears from around a corner. Tries to look surprised.
Oz! wow. Look at us. Running into
each other – as two people who go to
the same school are so likely to do
now and then…
He turns. Looks at her.
And that’s it. He starts to move down the hall. Will grabs his arm. Stops him, desperate.
Oz. Wait. Please. I don’t want
to – but I’m capable of scene-making.
Hallway scene making.
Oz waits. Says nothing.
I can’t even… What I did – when I
think that I hurt you…
You said all this stuff already.
Right. But… I want to make it up
to you. I mean, if you’ll let me -I
want to try.
Oz takes this in.
Just – you can leave me alone. I
need to figure things out.
Figuring. That’s something. It means
there’s still a me and you to figure.
I don’t know.
But – if we talk now. Maybe we could-
Oz stops her.
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time
with this. But I told you what I need.
So I can’t help feeling like the
reason you want to talk is so you can
feel better about yourself.
And that’s not my problem.
He closes his locker and walks off, leaving Will ashamed and speechless.
INT. SCHOOL – LOUNGE AREA – DAY
Cordy walks near the lounge – holding her head up despite the obvious stares and whispers of her
peers. Now she spots XANDER rounding a corner and heading right toward her.
Desperate – Cordy grabs hold of A HANDSOME JOCK, JOHN LEE, who is also walking in her direction.
Hey John Lee – do I have something
caught in my teeth?
Still holding on to him with both hands – she smiles big. John Lee leans into her – looks at her mouth.
Stops as he sees CORDELIA AND JOHN LEE in what could be, from his vantage point, a fairly intimate
conversation or perhaps even a kiss. He looks like he’s taken a gut shot – turns and moves off.
ON CORDY AND JOHN LEE
As Cordy notes Xander’s retreat. She stops gripping John Lee – but still works the charm.
So – what’s new? It’s been, like,
A gazillion years.
John Lee’s eyes dart the hall. He talks low, conspiratorially.
Look. The guys are kind of down on
me right now. Coach just cut me back
to second string. If anybody saw me
hanging with Xander Harris’ cast off
on top of that… Death – you know?
But, maybe, if you want to go
Now JOHN LEE sees some buddies coming down the hall. Bails.
Think about it.
Nearly in a daze now – Cordy turns and runs right into ANYA.
Cordelia – anticipating further humiliation, cuts her off.
Go ahead – dazzle me with your Oh So
Brilliant insult. Join the crowd.
Hardly. I’ve been looking for you.
When we met this morning, I was
like – thank God! There’s one other
person in town who actually reads “W”.
Follows me around. It’s like, if she
had an original thought her head
Cordelia takes this in – warming to her.
Tell me about it.
And she’s all tweeked about some guy
you were dating? Have we finished
seventh grade already?
Cordelia laughs – notices the EXOTIC PENDANT that Anya wears.
Is it Gucci?
No. It’s an actual old thing – a
good luck charm my dad gave me.
Too bad. I didn’t have one of
Can I just say: Men.
Apart from being without class, the
guy’s obviously blind. Deserves
whatever he gets.
I’m not even thinking of him. I’m
past it. Living my life.
I know, but don’t you kind of wish he’d —
I don’t wish. I act. Starting now,
Xander Harris is going to get a
bellyful1 of just how over him I am.
INT. BRONZE – NIGHT
Xander sits with Buffy and Willow, watching the kids on the dance floor – trying not to look suicidal.
Some LOUD laughter draws his attention. CORDELIA and ANYA stand at another table – with boys,
and having a high old time.
Xander takes this in — laughs at a remark of Buffy’s. Not satisfied that they noticed, he continues to
laugh until he is bellowing. He stops when he realizes that he is a grotesque freak.
Cordy and Anya look at him, at each other — what a loser. Actually, Buffy and Willow share not
entirely different looks.
Excuse me? I need to be both giving
and receiving mirth. Is it too much
to ask for a little back up?
I don’t know, Xand. I’m here for
you. I’m supporto gal. But I feel
kind of funny doing the “us against
Cordelia” thing. She’s had a rough time.
It’s true. Cordy belongs to the
“justified” camp. She should make us
pay. And pay and pay and pay and
pay… In fact, there’s really not
enough “pay” to make up for-
(cutting her off)
You want to do guilt-a-palooza?
Fine. But I’m done with that.
Starting this minute – I’m going to
grab a hold of that crazy little
thing called life and let it do it’s
magic heal-y thing. What’s done is
done. Let’s be in the moment. Behold
the beauty that is now! Who’s with me?
It’s true. We’re young and free in
America… How dare we be spun by
love – or the lack of same?
Absolutely. It’s self indulgent.
I’m in. I’m on the joy train.
A long beat as they all smile. Bop their heads to the music – look around at the passing Bronzers.
That didn’t work. Who wants chocolate?
Willow and Xander raise their hands – Buffy moves off. Xander absently covers Will’s hand with his –
worrying it as he glances at Cordelia.
Look at her. Tears of a clown, baby.
Or, more like, grins of a sad person.
Or is it-
Willow looks at Xander’s hand. Cuts him off.
Xander. Your hand.
Xander realizes what he’s doing. Takes his hand off hers.
(thinks it over)
But why – “oops?” We’ve always
touched digits. It’s just friend
stuff. Comfort – like chocolate.
Maybe it used to be. But now that
we… It’s different.
(off his look)
I’m sorry. But if I ever want to
make things right with Oz – my hands,
my… everything – they have to be
for him only.
Xander takes this in – nods. And they just sit there. Silent and uncomfortable.
INT. BRONZE – COUNTER – NIGHT
Buffy’s in line when she sees CORDELIA saying good night to Anya and heading for the door. She
watches as Cordy tries to conceal a WINCE of pain when someone bumps into her. Buffy makes a
EXT. ALLEY OUTSIDE BRONZE – NIGHT
Buffy runs after Cordy.
Hey, Cordelia? Wait up.
Cordy rolls her eyes. Stops.
Did Xander send you to beg for him?
because if he did-
I’m a free agent, I promise. I just
wanted to see how you are.
Never been better.
Cordy starts to walk away. Buffy pursues.
No – hey… I was just going to
say – if there’s anything I can do…
If you need anything-
You know what I need? To be rid of
Xander and all things Xander – like
his spooky entourage.
She starts off. Buffy stops her one more time.
Please. Cordelia. I know what it’s
like to be hurt by someone. Hurt so
much – you think you’re not going to make it.
Cordelia hears this. Her eyes flick to Buffy.
The only thing that helped? I told
my friends how I felt. And it got a
A beat. Cordy looks like she might relent. She starts to say something when – BAM! A LARGE VAMP
jumps Buffy. She throws him.
Do you mind? We were talking!
He comes up again, Buffy punches him —
Cordy, look —
— right into Cordy. They fall into a pile of garbage bags and cans.
Buffy whips out a stake as he rises and stakes the bum.
Cordy emerges from a large HEAP OF TRASH, holding her side and clearly hurting. Her designer
dress is ruined and she’s covered in GARBAGE. To add insult to injury – HARMONY and the other
CORDETTES come out of the Bronze and see her in this disheveled state. They can’t – nor do the try
to – contain their glee. Cordy turns on Buffy, fuming.
You know what I’ve been asking myself
a lot this last week? Why me? Why
do I get impaled? Why do I get bitten
by snakes? Why do I fall for
And I think I’ve finally figured it
out. What my problem is. It’s-
EXT. FOUNTAIN COURT – DAY
-Buffy Summers. That’s when all my
troubles started. When she moved here.
We see now that Cordy, still steamed, is talking to Anya as they walk amid the usual hustle and
bustle on their way to class. Cordy’s moving painfully – Anya notices.
Oh – I pulled some stitches last
night. Know why?
Cordelia nods across the courtyard to-
BUFFY, XANDER AND WILLOW – who sit together in a grassy area, doing schoolwork and talking.
Surprise! It was Buffy’s fault!
Now HARMONY passes. Sneers.
Loved the look last night, Cor.
Dumpster chic for the dumped.
Harmony flitters off and Cordy stops – looking tired. Anya takes off THE PENDANT she wears and
drapes it around Cordy’s neck.
Here. You need this more than
I do right now.
Yeah, I could use some luck — and a
big stick with pointy sharp bits. If
that Buffy wasn’t a slayer, I swear-
She’s a pain — but Xander’s an utter
loser. Don’t you wish —
I never would have looked twice at
Xander if Buffy hadn’t made him
marginally cooler by hanging with him.
Anya, standing a bit before Cordy, turns to look at the group.
Oh, yeah. I swear…
I wish Buffy Summers had never
Come to Sunnydale.
Now Anya turns toward Cordy – revealing that her face has become a HIDEOUS DEMONIC VISAGE.
Blank eyes. Skin, white and veiny… She smiles – a horrible, BROWN TOOTHED, evil grin – and utters
in a gnarly, DEEP voice-
And on Cordy’s gasp of shock, we:
END OF ACT ONE
EXT. FOUNTAIN COURT – DAY
FADE IN FROM WHITE:
Cordy gasps — and stops. Wide eyed. Looks around her.
ANYA’S NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. In fact, where a moment before the courtyard was FULL OF
PEOPLE – now only a FEW KIDS move skittishly to class.
Cordy looks around, but Anya’s history. Cordy takes this in. Looks and sees:
ANGLE: THE GRASS
Where Buffy and friends were. There is no one there.
Then she realizes that she’s not in pain anymore. Checks her TORSO WHERE HER WOUND WAS. It’s
GONE. Totally healed.
A long beat. Cordy now looks at the pendant Anya gave her.
“I wish Buffy Summers had never
come to Sunnydale.”
OFF CORDY, who smiles as the realization sets in – she got her wish.
She was, like, a good fairy.
A scary, veiny – good fairy…
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY – DAY
Cordy moves down the hall, which is also far less crowded than usual. A number of lockers stand
open – and the ones that are closed are draped with GARLIC and all sorts of freaky TALISMANS. Also
- the walls are now decorated with PROPAGANDA TYPE POSTERS that say things like “DON’T BE A
FOOL – RESPECT CURFEW!” and “DAYTIME DATES ARE FUN!”
Now she walks past A FRAMED PHOTOGRAPHIC PORTRAIT in memoriam of PRINCIPAL FLUTIE. Below
it is a PLAQUE with Flutie’s name and his dates of service. Then she passes one in memoriam of
PRINCIPAL SNYDER, and one in memoriam of PRINCIPAL JACKSON, and so it goes… Each one
recording a SHORTER PERIOD OF SERVICE. Cordy doesn’t notice the portraits – her focus instead on
HARMONY and the CORDETTES, who are gathered at one end of the hall. She hesitates a moment as
they spot her – not entirely sure what her reception will be. But the girls SQUEAL with delight and run
to her. They look great as usual – but they wear more muted hues (still DKNY) and each sports a
Where’ve you been!? Ted Chervin just
totally went for third with Ginger –
in front of everybody!
(re: Cordy’s dress)
Love the red dress – that’s so daring.
He runs up to her, awkwardly pulls her away from her friends.
Look, every guy on campus has
probably asked, but I… well, if
you’re not going to the Winterbrunch
with anyone… I’d sure be honored…
and we’d have fun…
He’s charmingly awkward, obviously (and publicly) smitten.
I’ll get back to you.
He goes off as Cordy rejoins her group.
Cordy, you reign.
I do? I mean, I do.
(as they leave)
So what’s this winterbrunch thing?
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
The classroom is only about a third full – maybe seven or eight kids – four of them being Cordelia,
Harmony and two Cordettes. The TEACHER, a nervous sort, glances at the clock anxiously – then
turns toward the board, writing as he speaks.
Okay… Again – the assignment is
all the odd problems on page 27-
Now the BELL RINGS and the teacher JUMPS at the sound. He immediately collects his things and
makes for the door.
Don’t forget. Tomorrow we have our
monthly memorial, so there’s no class.
And he’s gone. The other students are also moving quickly – heading out. Cordy goes to Harmony
and the other two girls.
What’s the rush? You’re booking like
your Daddy’s visa is about to expire.
Oh, you know. My mom freaks if I’m late.
Since when? Aren’t we going out?
Harmony and the girls look at her like she’s crazy.
Curfew starts in an hour – remember?
Curfew? Come on… I’m in a good
mood, let’s go to the Bronze.
All the girls freeze.
Is that a joke?
(thinks she gets it)
Oh, the Bronze isn’t cool in this
reality. Gotta make these little
Harmony takes her aside.
Cordy, what’s with you? You wear
this “come bite me” outfit, you make
jokes about the Bronze, you’re acting
a little skitzo.
You’re right. I’m just… well you
know I bumped my head yesterday and
I’m just forgetting all kinds of stuff.
Not that I care, but – Xander Harris
is miserable, right? And that Willow
freak he hangs with? She’s not even
a blip on the radar screen – right?
Harmony blinks like she doesn’t comprehend. Finally-
Well – yeah. They’re dead.
That’s it. Harmony, exasperated, takes off.
OFF CORDY – stunned.
EXT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – PARKING LOT – DAY
It’s almost DUSK as Cordy, digging in her purse for her keys, marches toward where she left her car
that morning. She’s now pretty freaked. She reaches the parking lot and stops in her tracks. Her car
is gone. In fact – there are NO CARS anywhere in sight. The parking lot is totally empty.
Okay. Not funny!
Cordy starts pacing – sees the caretaker hustling past.
Hey! You! Where’d you put my car!?
The caretaker stops. Looks at Cordy quizzically.
My auto!? El convertab-lo?
The caretaker shakes his head. She’s talking nonsense.
You students aren’t allowed
to drive and you know it.
Go on now, miss. You better get
yourself inside before the sun sets.
He scurries off, leaving Cordelia speechless.
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
It’s just past dusk and Cordelia, now officially freaked, walks quickly home. All the STORES and
RESTAURANTS are closed, many are boarded-up. It’s like a ghost town.
In the distance – Cordy hears a faint SCREAM. She starts, takes a deep breath. Starts to RUN.
Rounds a corner and SLAMS right into-
Who catches her – smiles. He’s dressed to kill in black leather pants, long dark coat… And his skin is
Well, what do you know? Cordelia Chase.
Cordy yanks herself out of his grasp.
What is this – some kind of sick
joke? Harmony told me you were dead.
Now why would she say something like
that? Let’s think…
Whatever. Just – listen to me. We
have to find Buffy. She’ll figure
out a way to save us. She was
supposed to be here and – as much as
it kills to say it – things were
better when she was around-
Buffy – the slayer?
No. Buffy the Dog Faced Girl. Duh!
Who do you think I’m talking about?
Cordelia is cut off as another voice rises from the shadows. A GIRL’S VOICE.
DARK, HIGH BOOTS as they step onto the sidewalk. We move up and find more leather, but these
pants are girl style and of the lace-up variety… We continue up, finally revealing WILLOW’S sweetly
beautiful face – wearing an expression that’s anything but. It’s somehow carnivorous and child-like all
This is the part that’s less fun,
when there isn’t any screaming.
Cordelia, stunned anew at seeing Willow, stammers-
What – what is up with you two
And the leather?
Willow comes to Cordy, getting into her personal space in a way that is both menacing and sexual.
What’s going on?
But Xander puts his arms around Willow – pulls her back, nuzzling her.
Not that I don’t appreciate your
appetite, Will… But I thought we
agreed it was my turn-
Cordelia can not believe her eyes, cuts him off.
No. No way! I wished us into
bizarro land and you guys are still
together? I can not win!
Xander turns his attention back to Cordy.
And with that Xander GOES VAMPY.
But I’ll give you a head start.
Cordy SCREAMS – starts to RUN. Xander and Willow watch her for a long beat. Willow smiles.
I love this part.
Xander KISSES her hungrily – taking his time. Then-
You love all the parts.
And he takes off after CORDY at an incredible speed.
As Xander catches her and hurls her to the ground. Her head hits the pavement with a sickening
CRACK. She’s out cold.
Stands over her. Willow comes up from behind – pouting.
No fun. She didn’t even hardly fight.
With that Xander snatches Cordy up off the ground. He’s about to BITE HER when he’s stopped by a
SCREECHING OF TIRES. 0Z’ VAN, with 0Z as the wheel man, SQUEALS TO A HALT AT THE CURB.
Xander and Willow glance at each other – incredulous.
Oh swell. It’s the white hats.
Now GILES, LARRY and a girl we’ve not seen before, NANCY, jump out of the van. Giles holds Xander
and Willow off with a LARGE CROSS.
(to Larry and Nancy)
I’ve got them. Get the girl!
Larry and Nancy drag Cordy into Oz’ van. As soon as they are safely inside, Giles jumps in and they
TAKE OFF. Xander and Willow just watch, more amused than anything.
Those people need to find some hobbies.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
CLOSE ON CORDY
Who lies on the table in the library — Giles’ coat folded under her head. She’s still out like a light.
GILES takes her pulse – Oz, Larry and Nancy stand nearby.
How’s she doing?
Her pulse is strong.
What was she doing wearing red?
Everybody knows vampires are
attracted to bright colors.
That’s Cordelia. It’s better to look
good than to feel… alive.
Go watch the perimeter – in case
those vampires followed.
Without further discussion – Oz, Larry and Nancy gather weapons (including the CROSSBOW) and
EXT. BRONZE – NIGHT
The place is hopping – but the clientele has changed. It is now only VAMPIRES who move in and out
of the place. We see WILLOW AND XANDER go inside. They pass a VAMP as he finishes draining a girl
- tosses her aside.
WE FOLLOW WILLOW AND XANDER THROUGH THE BRONZE
There are VAMPS everywhere – representing a bevy of eras… All partying. They smoke, dance… A
few FEED on helpless victims. On the stage we see two HANGING CAGES – inside of which huddle
Now Xander greets a SEVENTIES LOOKING VAMP who stands with a cue stick by the POOL TABLE –
upon which A FRESH MALE VICTIM is GAGGED AND BOUND.
(to a vamp buddy)
Slap my hand, dead soul man…
Xander and the buddy slap. Then the 70’s looking vamp chalks up his cue… Fortunately – we don’t
see what he does with it. Instead, we go with Will and Xander as they pass TWO LARGE VAMP
GUARDS and move through some VELVET CURTAINS into-
INT. BRONZE – PRIVATE ROOM – NIGHT
The Bronze meets “Scar Face.” Willow and Xander approach a HIGH BACKED CHAIR. Someone RISES
- turns to them. It’s THE MASTER – his mouth as “fruit punchy” as ever.
Ahhhh. Xander. Willow.
The master, irritated, reaches into the chair, lifts up A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG GIRL – WHO IS BITTEN BUT
Hungry? I lost my taste for this
one. She kept looking at me. I’m
trying to eat and she looks at me…
Willow and Xander hesitate. But Will is licking her lips.
Willow MORPHS TO VAMP FACE, grabs the catch – bites into her with relish. Drags her away to finish
the job. The Master watches her, wistful.
I remember that lust for the kill…
(shrugs off the reverie/to Xander)
So. Any news from the street?
Had a prime kill — an old crush,
actually — but that wannaslay
librarian showed up. A sad loss.
He’ll be dealt with soon enough.
Weird thing: Girl kept talking about
Buffy, we had to get Buffy here.
Isn’t that what they call the Slayer?
Now Willow returns. Wiping the blood from her mouth. Glowing. Adds-
Someone has to talk to her people.
That name is striking fear in
Will and Xander now notice that the Master’s expression has turned GRAVE. Both Will and Xander
react. Not good.
This girl spoke of summoning a slayer
here? Now, of all times? And you
didn’t kill her?
Well, they had crosses —
The Master POUNDS his fist onto a table. Seething.
The plant goes into operation
in less than 24 hours!
You find that girl and kill her
before she contacts the Slayer – or
I’ll see the both of you kissing daylight.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
CORDY stirs. Starts to MOAN.
Giles runs from his office. Moves to her. Cordy manages to focus – sees that it’s Giles. Tries to talk
Giles. It’s my fault. I wasn’t- I
made this stupid wish-
Please. You must be still-
Cordelia, frustrated, tries even harder.
No! You have to get Buffy. Buffy
changes it. It wasn’t like this. It
was better. I mean, the clothes
alone… But people were happy –
mostly – and…
Wait. Why are you here? And she’s
not.. I mean, you were her watcher.
How did you know I was a watcher, I never —
He stops. Turns, listening.
Thought I heard something.
He moves quickly and quietly to the book cage. Throws open the cabinet. There are just a few
weapons left in there — he grabs a cross and a long stake.
I want you to start again and explain
everything very carefully.
As he turns back the door slams shut in his face.
Willow grins at him, holds up the keys. Behind her, Xander holds Cordy from behind, his hand over
her mouth. Both of them in VAMPFACE.
You’re in a big cage.
Not too bright, book guy.
Furious, Giles SLAMS the cross up against the bars of the cage. Willow starts back, growling.
So you’re a watcher, huh?
Now he sinks his teeth into Cordy’s neck… Her eyes go glassy with shock. Staring.
Watching – horrified – from the cage. rips it, trying to shake the door free — but it’s no use.
Looks to Willow as he feeds. He NODS and she LATCHES onto the other side of CORDY’S NECK. They
drain her in symbiotic ecstasy, Xander gripping-the back of Willow’s head.
Is like a deer in the headlights as CORDELIA’S LIFELESS BODY drops in front of the cage.
Xander and Willow bail without ceremony. Their business attended to.
Giles just stares.
END OF ACT TWO
We hear the sound of something POUNDING AGAINST METAL – BAM! BAM! BAM!
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
As GILES USES A CUDGEL from the weapon cabinet to break the lock on the book cage door. It
finally GIVES and the door flies open.
Giles moves to Cordelia, checks her pulse – although his expression betrays the fact that he knows
it’s a futile gesture.
NOW OZ AND LARRY ENTER, both looking shell-shocked and bloodied. Giles looks up from Cordy’s
They hit us right outside.
A long beat as Giles takes this in. Finally nods.
Would you mind – could you take her
body to the incinerator? I’ve got some
Oz and Larry start to gather Cordelia up – take her off. They are just about out the door when Giles
He leans down – takes CORDELIA’S PENDANT off her neck. Then indicates that they can go. Without
further comment, Oz and Larry take off.
INT. BRONZE – PRIVATE ROOM – NIGHT
Xander and Willow enter.
The deed is done.
You killed the girl who was
looking for the slayer?
Willow flops into a chair.
It was too easy.
I felt cheap.
Excellent. The opening will
commence as scheduled.
So – you’re pleased?
Then… Can I play with the puppy?
Be my guest.
Willow is clearly delighted by this news.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Giles is on the phone. As he speaks he refers to CORDELIA’S PENDANT – and leafs through an
OCCULT REFERENCE BOOK.
(into phone/mid talk)
…yes, I understand, but it’s
imperative that I see her. Here.
Well, when will you…? You are her
watcher, I would think she’d at least
check in to… Yes. I’m aware there
is a great deal of demonic activity
in Cleveland. It happens, you know,
that Sunnydale is on a Hellmouth… it is so!
Just give her the message, if you
ever see her again.
Giles. hangs up, frustrated. He sighs. Opens a research book.: There will be no sleep tonight.
EXT. BRONZE OR SUNNYDALE- SUNRISE (DAY) – STOCK
INT. BRONZE – PRISONER’S CELLS – DAY
Those BOOTS AGAIN.
This time they walk past the BARS OF A CELL. We move up to see WILLOW – looking petulant as she
hangs on the iron bars – speaking to a prisoner we can’t see.
Daytime is the worst. Cooped up
for hours. Can’t hunt…
THE MALE PRISONER – who lies curled on the floor with his back to us – perhaps sleeping. Perhaps
hoping she’ll go.
Willow moves along a wall, choosing from a row of torture implements, finally taking a long, rusty
pair of scissors.
But the Master said I could play.
She unlocks the gate, comes in.
Isn’t that fun, puppy?
Puppy’s all quiet. Come on.
Don’t be a spoilsport.
I know you like it when I come.
Willow crawls on top of him – sits on his back. Runs her hands through his dirty hair… Then, without
warning – VIOLENTLY YANKS his head back. And we see that it is ANGEL. He grunts from the strain –
but still says nothing.
She leans down – gets in his face – LICKS HIM. Then whispers…
Guess what today is? Today the plant
opens, it’s a big party. You
remember I told you about the plant.
All those people you tried to save…
It’ll be quick for them. Not for you,
though. It’s gonna be slow for you.
Angel takes this in – clearly distraught by the news. And again – lightning fast – she FLIPS HIM so it’s
his chest she’s sitting on. He starts to struggle – but Will just locks on. Laughs.
That’s right, Puppy.
Willow’s gonna make you bark.
Now she grabs his shirt and RIPS IT OPEN. Buttons scatter. We see that Angel’s chest is COVERED IN
HORRIBLE BLISTERING WOUNDS. Willow also notes this – hesitates.
Oooh. Maybe I went too hard
on you last time…
CLOSE ON: A MATCH
Being lit off someone’s thumb. Being thrown.
It flies over Willow’s shoulder. Lands on ANGEL’S CHEST, where it HISSES and BURNS. Angel
WRITHES, trying not to scream.
Too hard? No such thing.
Willow looks up – sees XANDER standing at the bars – a box of matches in his hand.
Watch it with those things.
You almost got my hair.
Xander moves into the cell. Hands her the box of matches. Runs a hand lovingly over her head.
Sorry. Carried away.
And takes a seat in the opposite corner of the cell.
(re: matches/to Xander)
Don’t you want to – ?
No thanks, baby. I just want
To watch you go.
Willow smiles. Turns back toward Angel. Lights a match.
We hear ANGEL’S SCREAM…
INT. LIBRARY – DUSK
Giles, excited, enters from his office – another book in hand.
Here it is. Look.
He puts the book in front of LARRY and Oz, who sit at the table carving stakes.
CLOSE ON THE BOOK
Which is turned to A PICTURE of CORDELIA’S PENDANT. The actual pendant sits beside it on the
It’s what Cordelia was wearing.
The symbol of Anyanka.
Don’t think I know her.
Anyanka raised a demon to ruin her
unfaithful lover. The demon did her
bidding – but then cursed her and
turned her into a sort of…
patron saint for scorned women.
Apparently, the cry of a wronged
woman is like a siren’s call to Anyanka.
What does she do?
She grants wishes.
Cordelia wished for something? If it
was a long and healthy life, I think
she should get her money back.
Well, she said something about
everything being different. The
world wasn’t supposed to be like
this. That it was… better… before. . .
Okay, the entire world sucks because
some dead ditz made a wish? I just
wanna be clear.
I’m not sure. She said the Slayer
was supposed to be here. To have
been here already.
Well, that certainly woulda been helpful.
I’ve tried to contact her, but…
(closes the book)
I’m going to need to research this
Anyanka further. I have some volumes
at home… or, I think they’re at
home… I’m a little rusty with all this…
He heads out.
You two get some sleep.
Watch your back.
INT. GILES’ CAR – NIGHT
Giles is heading home when something catches his eye down the street. He slows.
EXT. PARK – NIGHT
WHAT GILES SEES
A LARGE TRUCK with a cheery sign on the side that reads “SUNNYDALE LOVES RECYCLING!” is
stopped on the street. And it looks as if a number (five) of Sunnydale citizens are being FORCED
INTO the back of the truck by TWO THUGS.
INT. GILES’ CAR – NIGHT
Giles pulls over, grabs his cross and some stakes. He jumps out of the car.
EXT. PARK – NIGHT
Giles moves toward the truck. Sees that, indeed, the thugs are VAMPS, and they are using whatever
means necessary to herd the protesting people into the truck. There are already a number (eight) of
people inside, looking cowed.
Back to the truck, Giles THRUSTS HIS CROSS at the vamps – grabs a few of their intended victims
away from them.
(to the would-be victims)
And they do – taking off down the dark street as fast as their trembling legs can carry them. Giles
reaches out for another helpless woman when the third VAMP LUNGES AT HIM FROM AROUND THE
TRUCK – bringing him to the ground. Giles’ cross and stakes fly from his hands and go skittering onto
The vamp comes to pick Giles up. Giles hears:
Put him in the truck!
WITH GILES ON THE GROUND
Much carnage, no dusting.
CLOSE ON: A STAKE
Ripped from a pocket.
THE ATTACKER, holding the stake and her sleek, militaristic crossbow, has her back to Giles.
Nonetheless, he’s pretty certain it’s:
But not the Buffy we know and love. This Buffy is dressed down for combat, black shirt and fatigue
pants. Her hair is pulled back and tight so it won’t get in her eyes. The cross on her necklace isn’t
there as an accessory. And on one side of her face she sports a SIGNIFICANT BATTLE SCAR (which
on her, natch, equals wicked sexy…)
Want to tell me what I’m doing here?
END OF ACT THREE
INT. GILES’ APARTMENT – NIGHT
Giles has been going through books. Buffy stands, not helping.
In order to defeat Anyanka, one must
destroy her powercenter. This should
reverse all the wishes she has
granted, rendering her mortal and
You see, without her powercenter
she’ll be just an ordinary woman
again and all this will be different.
I’d say my watcher muscles are not
completely atrophied after all.
Great. What’s her powercenter?
Dyeh — Ahhum, doesn’t say.
Why don’t I put a stake through her heart?
She’s not a vampire.
You’d be surprised how many
Things that’ll kill.
I don’t want to kill her, Miss
Summers. Merely reverse whatever
effect she has had on this world.
You’re taking a lot on faith here, Jeeves.
Kill the bad fairy — or destroy the
bad fairy’s powercenter, whatever —
and all the troubles go away.
I’m sure it’s not that simple, but…
World is what it is. We fight and
we die. Wishing doesn’t change that.
I have to believe in a better world.
Go ahead. I have to live in this one.
He is frustrated: tries another line of reasoning.
Cordelia knew that I was meant to be
your watcher. She said she knew you —
She was probably just a big fan.
The Master sent his most vicious
disciples to kill her. She must have
posed some threat to him. He’s up to
something… those people being
herded in vans — I know he’s behind it.
Supreme vampire in these parts. Lives
on the outskirts of town, in an old club.
You know where he lives? And
nobody’s even tried to take him out?
People have tried…
Well, point the way. Might as well
do some good while I’m here.
You can’t just walk in and —
You wanna stay here and play make
believe, fine — I’m not gonna be any
help to you anyway. There’s one
thing I’m good at. The kill.
She picks up her crossbow.
At least lets muster some kind of force —
I don’t play well with others. Now
I’m gonna ask you once, and then I’m
gonna become cranky. Where’s this club?
INT. BRONZE – NIGHT
Buffy comes in a back way – is surprised to find the place COMPLETELY EMPTY. She wanders past the
stage, the bar. Nothing. It’s deserted.
INT. BRONZE – PRISONER’S CELLS – NIGHT
Buffy comes down some stairs into an underground area where ANGEL’S CELL is. Angel is huddled in
a corner – trembling. His head on his knees. Buffy sees this. Sees that he’s not the Master. She’s
about to go when ANGEL LOOKS UP at her.
For a brief moment they lock eyes. Angel is astounded. He knows her. But Buffy registers less than
nothing. Turns again to leave.
Angel finds his voice — moves to the bars of the cage, desperate.
Buffy? Buffy Summers?
Buffy stops. Turns back.
I – it’s you. I mean, you don’t
remember – how could you? But-
(cutting him off/suspicious)
How did you know my name?
I waited. I waited here for you.
But you never… I was supposed to help you.
She eyes his cage – his wounds, dubious.
You were gonna help me.
The Master rose. He let me live –
To punish me. I kept hoping – maybe
you’d come. My destiny.
Buffy can’t believe her ears.
Is this a “get in my pants” thing?
You Sunnydale guys all talk like I’m
the second coming.
I’m… sorry. I just meant-
Buffy’s run out of patience.
I don’t have time for stories.
Where’s the Master?
They’re at his factory. It starts tonight.
I – I can take you there.
Buffy considers. Gives him the once over. Then she KICKS the door of his cell open. She waits for him
to exit but he’s already gone as far as his chains will allow. Exasperated – she starts to break his
shackles – then her CROSS swings toward him. Angel instinctively BACKS OFF. Buffy observes this.
You’ve got to be kidding.
She starts to WALK AWAY – leaving Angel bound. But he calls after her.
Wait! I won’t hurt you.
No, you’ll leave that to your Master.
You don’t believe I want to help you.
(he opens his shirt)
Believe I want him dead.
She looks at his wounds, at his face. Considers.
INT. PEOPLE PROCESSING PLANT – MAIN AREA – NIGHT
We move through a LARGE INDUSTRIAL SPACE that looks very much like a MEAT PACKING PLANT.
We find the Master, who stands near a CONVEYER BELT that runs the length of the room. Beside him
stand WILLOW and XANDER and a handful of other vamps – all decked out for a fancy ceremony.
They all face a CHEERING THRONG of vampires.
Off to one side of the conveyor belt we see a WOODEN HOLDING PEN – where dozens of terrified
PEOPLE huddle together, awaiting a fate they know can only be horrible. Among them we see LARRY
AND OZ – who were clearly captured while on patrol.
The Master, jubilant, is addressing the assembled crowd.
Vampires! Undeniably, we are the
world’s superior race. Yet we have
always been too parochial. Too bound
to the mindless routine of the
predator. Hunt and kill… Hunt and
kill… Titillating? Yes.
Practical? Hardly… Meanwhile -the
humans, with their plebeian
minds, have brought us a truly
demonic concept: Mass production.
INT. PEOPLE PROCESSING PLANT – ANOTHER AREA – NIGHT
BUFFY, crossbow discreetly at her side, and ANGEL hide behind a refrigeration unit, listening to the
What’s the plan?
Buffy hands him a stake.
Don’t fall on this.
INT. PEOPLE PROCESSING PLANT – MAIN AREA – NIGHT
The Master continues his speech.
The days of compromise, of living
alongside the humans, are over. It’s
time to take them out. Time to treat
them like… well, let’s not mince
words here — like the cattle they are!
The crowd CHEERS.
ANGLE: XANDER AND WILLOW
At the Master’s right hand.
We really are living in a golden age.
INT. GILES’ APARTMENT – NIGHT
Giles’ dining table is littered with various mystical items, crystals, sage roots, etc… He’s got a text in
front of him and he’s nervously making his way through a SUMMONING RITUAL.
Anyanka, I beseech thee, uh…
He looks back at the text. Finds his place again.
In the name of all women scorned –
come before me!
He lights a mixture of herbs in a chalice. Waits. Nothing seems to happen. Then, from the shadows,
steps the girl we knew as ANYA.
However, her face is still HORRIBLE – the demonic visage we saw at the end of act one.
DO you have any idea what I do to a
man who uses that spell to summon me?
Both triumphant at his success and terrified of her.
INT. PEOPLE PROCESSING PLANT – MAIN AREA – NIGHT
Bring the first!
The Master nods to one of his henchmen – who GRABS A SCREAMING GIRL from the holding pen.
Then he STUNS her with a CATTLE PROD TYPE DEVICE and straps her to the CONVEYER BELT.
She’s still alive here, see?
Now the conveyer belt moves the WILD EYED GIRL into an open chamber.
ANGEL AND BUFFY
Move unnoticed through the crowd. Everyone is too rapt by the spectacle of the machine to pay
attention to them. They separate – Buffy heading for the center of the room, Angel moving to the
PEN WHERE THE HUMANS ARE.
CLOSE ON THE KILLING MACHINE
Where a PLASTIC TUBING system fills with BLOOD, sending it into a LARGE CONTAINER.
CLOSE ON THE VICTIM
Whose eyes flutter – and go dead.
Opens a tap in the killing machine. Fills a WINE GLASS full of blood and delivers it to-
Who moves up onto a PLATFORM at the end of the plant. He raises his glass to the gathered crowd in
a toast, ecstatic.
Welcome to the future!
STANDS amidst the crowd – Shoulders the crossbow and aims it at the Master. She shoots.
SEES THIS and YANKS XANDER in front of him. Xander takes the arrow in the shoulder.
ON ANGEL AND THE CATTLE PEN
As Angel frees the humans. Many scatter – but OZ, LARRY and a few BRAVE SOULS break wood from
the pen and GO AFTER THEIR CAPTORS.
ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE (ALSO KNOWN AS THE ONE BIG MASTER SHOT)
As VAMPS and HUMANS go at it everywhere.
XANDER AND WILLOW
He tugs at the arrow as she sees ANGEL.
Uh oh. Puppy got out.
With that, she SPRINTS TO JOIN THE FIGHT.
INT. GILES’ APARTMENT – NIGHT
Anyanka circles slowly towards Giles, who counters.
Cordelia Chase. What did she wish for?
I had no idea her wish would be so…
exciting. A brave new world. I hope
she likes it.
You’re going to change it back.
She moves toward him more directly, but he stands his ground.
I’m not afraid of you. Your only
power lies in the wishing.
She grabs him by the throat in a vice-like grip.
INT. PEOPLE PROCESSING PLANT – MAIN AREA – NIGHT
Buffy is throwing a vamp off her as Xander approaches, pulling the arrow from his shoulder. He looks
truly pissed — moves to stab Buffy with it as she is preoccupied with yet another vamp.
Sees this. Throws himself between Xander and Buffy. He punches Xander, sending him sprawling.
Turns to Buffy.
That’s when they see the STAKE Xander plunged into Angel’s chest. There is a heartbeat before he
turns to dust.
And he’s gone. Buffy registers this with NO FEELING. She simply STEPS THROUGH ANGEL’S DUST to
get to Xander and continue the fight.
CLOSE ON BUFFY
She trades blows with Xander and another henchman, her eyes completely empty. As she pounds
away – the picture goes to SLOW MOTION
INT. GILES’ APARTMENT – NIGHT
Anyanka still holds Giles in her iron grasp.
This is the real world now. There’s
no going back. This is the world we made.
Choking, he looks at her and sees:
CLOSE ON: HER NECKLACE
Identical to Cordy’s. It GLOWS with power.
Isn’t it wonderful?
INT. PEOPLE PROCESSING PLANT – MAIN AREA – NIGHT
Haunting classical music is the only sound we hear as the mayhem continues in full-on (thank you,
Mr. Peckinpah), SLOW MOTION GLORY.
As she knocks a henchman off his feet. Then spins and STAKES XANDER. He’s SLOW MOTION DUST.
ON THE DOORS TO THE PLANT
As two or three humans from the pen POUND at the EXIT – desperate to get out. But they are
descended on by VAMPS.
Who SPINS to continue the fight. Encounters the MASTER. He pounds her in the face – but she
doesn’t fall. She gives as good as she gets. They go at it.
Who moves to help the Master. Doesn’t notice Oz until it’s too late… OZ SLAMS HER INTO A JAGGED
PIECE OF BROKEN WOOD that juts from the battered holding pen. She’s history.
INT. GILES’ APARTMENT – NIGHT
Giles stops clawing at her iron grip and SNATCHES her PENDANT off her neck. This action produces
genuine TERROR in Anya’s face. She lets go briefly, and he stumbles back.
She flies at him — and he DECKS her, sends her flying back into a corner. She looks up as he puts the
pendant on the table and grabs some desktop object that can be used as a mallet.
Trusting fool! How do you know the
other world is any better than this?
(almost to himself)
Because it has to be.
He swings the mallet — (Slo mo?)
CLOSE ON THE PENDANT
As it shatters.
INT. PEOPLE PROCESSING PLANT – MAIN AREA – NIGHT
ON BUFFY AND THE MASTER – STILL IN SLOW MOTION
The floor of the plant is littered with corpses. The Master has Buffy off her feet. He SNAPS her neck.
Buffy falls from his grasp – EYES EMPTY AND STARING. Her death goes unnoticed amidst the rest of
the fighting, which continues. She’s just another body about to hit the ground when-
THE SCREEN GOES WHITE
EXT. SCHOOL – DAY
We’re back in the EXACT SAME SCENE from the end of ACT ONE where Cordelia made her wish.
Sunnydale high is back to it’s POPULATED, COLORFUL self… Just as before – Cordelia speaks to
I wish Buffy Summers had never
Come to Sunnydale…
Now Anya turns toward Cordy – BUT THIS TIME HER FACE DOESN’T CHANGE. She still looks like
regular old Anya. Still – she SNARLS.
Nothing happens. Anya looks deeply perplexed.
That’d be cool.
Cordelia moves off – musing.
No wait – I wish Buffy Summers
Was never born.
Okay… Anya tries again.
Nothing. Anya looks like she could pull her hair out. Cordy, oblivious, keeps chattering…
And I wish Xander Harris never again
knows the touch of a woman. And that
Willow wakes up tomorrow covered in
We watch them MOVE OFF INTO THE DISTANCE as Anya follows after her – clearly FRUSTRATED
In fact – I wish all men – except
maybe the dumb, really agreeable
kind – would just disappear off the
face of the Earth… That would be
cool… Or maybe…
As they go we PAN OFF THEM and DRIFT ONTO-
BUFFY, XANDER and WILLOW
Who stand where we last saw them in act one – talking, laughing. As Giles joins them…
END OF SHOW
A large park. The camera pans along some flowery foliage until it
reaches a pair of green scaly legs firmly planted to the ground and a
pair of human legs dangling and kicking from someone pinned high against
a tree. The monster makes gurgling noises and low-pitched roars. Cut to
Buffy being held against the tree by her neck. The monster’s face has
tentacles coming off of the back of his head as well as the front in
place of lips. His teeth are placed vertically between the two center
tentacles. His scaly green skin glistens with slime.
Buffy: (yells out desperately) Nnnrrf! Nnnrrf!
Near a picnic table Xander is just coming to, apparently having been
knocked around by the monster as well. At the table Willow frantically
searches through their bag of demon-killing implements.
Willow: Oh, God! Demon! Demon! What kills a demon?!
Buffy struggles with the monster’s hand at her neck, but can’t get it to
budge and has a hard time breathing.
Buffy: Nnnrrf! Nnnrrf!
Willow: (still searching) Oh, Nerf! Not Nerf. Knife!
She finds a knife and runs with it to Buffy’s aid. She tosses the knife
to Buffy, who blindly grabs it from behind out of mid-air and stabs the
monster in the chest. The monster immediately falls over dead, taking
Buffy down with it. Willow and Xander help her up.
Buffy: Okay. That was too close for comfort. Not that slaying is ever
comfy, but… you know what I mean? (takes a deep breath) If you guys
hadn’t been here to help…
Willow: But, we were, and we did, and, and we’re all fine. (looks down
at the monster) Isn’t he gonna go poof?
Buffy: Mm, I guess these guys don’t. We’ll have to bury him or
They walk over to the picnic table.
Buffy: Makes you appreciate vamps, though. No fuss, no muss.
Buffy sits cross-legged on one end of the table, Xander sits on the
other and Willow sits on the bench below and between them and grabs a
Xander: So how come Faith was a no-show? I thought mucus-y demons were
her favorites. (munches on a snack)
Buffy: Couldn’t reach her… again. She hasn’t been hanging out much.
(reaches for a snack)
Xander: I detect worry.
Buffy: A little bit. Slaying’s a rough gig. Too much alone time isn’t
healthy. Stuff gets pent up. (munches the snack)
Willow: We should try to do more socializing with her.
Xander: Well, burial detail aside, does this cap us off for the day?
Buffy: You got plans?
Xander: I cannot stress enough how much I don’t have plans.
Buffy: No luck reaching Cordelia?
Xander: I’ve left a few messages. Sixty… Seventy… But you know what
really bugs me? (to Willow) Okay, we kissed. It was a mistake. But I
know that was positively the last time we were ever gonna kiss.
Willow: Darn tootin’!
Xander: And they burst in, rescuing us, without even knocking? I mean,
this is really all their fault.
Buffy: Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.
Xander: Mine is much more advanced.
Willow: At least tomorrow’s Monday, another school day.
Buffy: Well, that’s good. You know, focus on school. That’s the strong
Willow way to heal.
Willow: Actually, I was more thinking Oz will be there, and I can beg
Buffy: That works, too.
Willow: I-I wanna be strong Willow. But then I think I may never get to
be close to Oz again, and it’s like all the air just goes out of the
Buffy: I know the feeling.
Xander: Right. I mean, you went through it with Angel, and you’re still
standing. So tell us, Wise One, how do you deal?
Buffy: I have you guys.
Cut to Cordelia’s bedroom. She’s sitting on her bed with the lights very
low. She has a picture of herself, Xander, Willow and Buffy all with
their arms around each other, and is cutting each person off with a
straight vertical cut. She lets the pieces fall into a bowl on a
breakfast tray. In the background her answering machine plays back her
Machine: Hey, it’s Xander. If you get this, call me.
The last part of the picture left in her hand is of Xander, and she cuts
diagonally right through his face.
Machine: Hi! Xander. I, uh… Well, I’m in if you feel like calling.
Cordelia’s eyes and cheeks are heavy with tears. She sighs, takes a
match and strikes it. She lights Xander’s part of the picture.
Machine: Hi, Cordelia. Um… If you get the chance, if we could talk,
She drops the lit piece into the bowl and holds the match to the others.
They suddenly all burst into flame. The light of the flame shows just
how tired, slagged and haggard Cordelia has become.
Machine: Hey again! It’s me. I’m here. Again.
She watches as the flames consume the image of Xander.
Opening credits roll. Buffy’s theme plays.
~ ~ Part 1 ~ ~
The halls at Sunnydale High School. Willow waits around the corner from
Oz’s locker, peeking around every few seconds to see if he’s arrived,
looking very worried. Buffy comes up behind her.
Buffy: How’s it goin’?
Willow: Oz hasn’t been to his locker. There may be books in there that
he needs, but still, he doesn’t come. (looks at the locker)
Buffy: Has Xander seen Cordelia?
Willow: I don’t think so. But she is coming in today. Amy saw her last
night at the mall. (looks at the locker)
Buffy: How was she?
Willow: I don’t know. Amy said she looked pretty… scary.
Cut to the student parking lot. Cordelia has the top down on her
convertible. She steps out looking very hot in a brown leather skirt and
jacket with matching top, and alligator high heel d’Orsay pumps with
matching bag from Prada. She confidently walks into school.
Cut to the breezeway leading to the quad. She walks through, not looking
quite as confident anymore since the other students are just passing her
by. She stops when she sees Harmony coming her way with some of her
friends. When Harmony sees Cordelia, she stops, too, for an instant, but
then approaches her, all smiles.
Harmony: Cordelia! You look amazing.
Cordelia, confidence restored, exchanges a non-touching hug and kisses
on both cheeks.
Harmony: Oh. You have to meet Anya. (pulls her to the front) She just
moved here, and her dad just bought — what was it — oh. A utility. Or
Anya: (to Cordelia) Nice bag. Prada?
Cordelia: Good call! Most people around here can’t tell Prada from
Harmony: God, Cordy, when I heard about… Well, I mean, I couldn’t
believe it. But it was smart. You know, the injury thing? You take a
week off, let everybody forget about the temporary insanity that was
Cordelia: (raises her eyebrows) Xander who?
They all exchange a little fake nervous laughter.
Cordette: You know what you have to do. Start dating. Get back on the
Cordelia: Oh, absolutely! I am ready to ride!
Harmony: Then I have just the stallion. He’s so you.
She leads her over to the outside stairs where Jonathon is sitting,
nursing a soft drink. He is taken aback by the sudden attention, and
looks around to see if they didn’t really mean someone else, but there
is no one else. Cordelia realizes she’s been had.
Harmony: (giggles) I’m pretty sure he won’t cheat on you. At least not
for a while. Plus, he’s got a kill moped.
She laughs, and she and her group walk off. Jonathon gives her a
sympathetic look, knowing what it’s like, and goes back to nursing his
Cut to the halls. Oz finally shows up at his locker. As he works his
combination, Willow comes around the corner and pretends it’s a chance
Willow: Oz! Wow.
He stops opening his locker and slowly turns to face her.
Willow: Look at us, running into each other, as two people who go to
the same school are so likely to do now and then.
Oz: Hey. (starts to leave)
Willow: (stops him) Oz, wait. Please?
He stops and reluctantly gives her his attention.
Willow: What I did… When I think that I hurt you…
Oz: Yeah. You said all this stuff already.
Willow: Right, but… I wanna make it up to you. I mean, if you let me,
I wanna try.
Oz: Just… You can leave me alone. I need to figure things out.
Willow: But maybe if we talk about it, we could…
Oz: Look… I’m sorry this is hard for you. But I told you what I need.
So I can’t help feeling like the reason you want to talk is so you can
feel better about yourself. That’s not my problem.
Willow is left feeling completely helpless. Oz goes on his way leaving
her standing there.
Cut to the stairs by the student lounge. Cordelia walks down and turns
down the hall. She sees Xander come out of the cafeteria at the far end.
When he spots her he stops. Cordelia looks for a way to turn this to her
advantage, and pulls an old boyfriend out of the crowd.
Cordelia: Hey, John Lee. Do I have something caught in my teeth?
She smiles to expose her teeth and angles her head up so he can see. She
shifts her head back and forth, and John Lee dutifully follows her
movements. From a distance it looks to Xander like they are kissing.
When he’s seen enough, he goes back into the cafeteria. When Cordelia
sees that he’s gone, she steps back from John Lee.
Cordelia: So… What’s new? God, it’s been, like, a gazillion years!
John Lee: (smiles) Look, the guys are kinda down on me lately. Coach
has cut me back to second string. If anyone saw me hanging with Xander
Harris’ castoff on top of that… Death, you know, but… maybe…
(makes suggestive eyes) If you wanna go someplace private…
Cordelia: (surprised to find the tables turned) What?
John Lee: Think about it. (leaves)
Cordelia can’t believe what a social leper she’s suddenly become. She
starts back down the hall, and is startled when Anya bumps into her.
Anya: (smiles) Hey.
Cordelia: Go ahead. Dazzle me with your oh-so-brilliant insults. Just
join the club.
Anya: Hardly. Uh, actually, I’ve been looking for you. Ever since we
met this morning, I was, like, thank God there’s one other person in
this town who actually reads W.
Cordelia: But Harmony…
Anya: Oh, she follows me around. If that girl had an original thought,
her head would explode.
Cordelia: (notices Anya’s pendant) Is that Gucci?
Anya: Um… no. It’s an actual old thing, sort of a, um… good luck
charm my dad gave me.
Cordelia: Too bad I didn’t have one of those pre-Xander.
They start down the hall.
Anya: Can I just say… Men.
Cordelia: Second it.
Anya: Apart from being without class, the guy’s obviously blind.
Deserves whatever he gets.
Cordelia: I’m not even thinking about him. I am past it. I am living my
Anya: Still, I mean… Don’t you kinda wish…
Cordelia: I don’t wish. I act. Starting now, Xander Harris is gonna get
a bellyful of just how over him I am.
Cut to the Bronze that night. “Tired of Being Alone”, by The Spies,
plays in the background. Cordelia is at the bar, dressed sexily in red,
pretending to have great conversation with a guy. Behind her sitting on
the couch beneath the stairs, Willow and Buffy look glum, while Xander
pretends to be having fun, forcing himself to laugh. He looks back at
Cordelia, who seems to be enjoying her conversation. Xander looks back
at Willow and Buffy and forces out gales of laughter. Willow and Buffy
exchange a look, then Buffy gives Xander a creepy look.
Xander: Excuse me. I need to be both giving and receiving of mirth.
Is it too much to ask for a little backup?
Buffy: (puts her hand on his knee) I’m here for you, Xand. I’m Support-
O-Gal. (takes her hand back) I just… feel a little weird about this
us-against-Cordelia thing. She’s had a rough time.
At the bar Cordelia is still enjoying herself.
Willow: It’s true. Cordelia belongs to the justified camp. She
should make us pay. And pay and pay and pay… In fact, there’s just
not enough pay for what we…
Xander: (interrupts) Look, you want to do guilt-a-palooza, fine, but
I’m done with that. Starting this minute, I’m gonna grab ahold of that
crazy little thing called life and let it do its magical little heal-y
thing. What’s done is done. Let’s be in the moment. Behold the beauty
that is now. (bounces his eyebrows) Who’s with me?
Buffy: He’s actually making sense. We’re young and free in America. How
dare we be spun by love or the lack of same?
Willow: Absolutely. I-it’s self-indulgent. I-I’m in. I’m on the joy
They all put on bright smiles and radiate them into the Bronze. Slowly
their luster fades, and they all end up looking glum again.
Buffy: That didn’t work. Who wants chocolate?
Willow and Xander both raise their hands.
Buffy: I’m up.
She gets up and heads for the cappuccino bar.
Xander: Look at her. (indicates Cordelia) Tears of a clown, baby. Or is
it… grins of a sad person? (reaches over to Willow in his old familiar
way) Or maybe it’s…
Willow: Xander, your hand.
Xander: (jerks back his hand) Oops! Sorry. But why ‘oops’? I mean, we
always touch digits. It’s a friend thing. Comfort. Like chocolate.
Willow: (shrugs) Maybe it used to be, but since we… It’s different.
(Xander looks away) I-I’m sorry. But if I wanna make things right with
Oz, my hands, (Xander looks back) my — all my stuff — has to be for
Xander understands, but he sure isn’t happy about it.
Cut to the cappuccino bar. While waiting in line, Buffy notices Cordelia
talk briefly with Anya and say goodbye. As she goes a boy bumps into
her, jostling her wound. She puts her hand over it as she walks out.
Buffy decides to follow.
Cut outside. Buffy catches up with her.
Buffy: Hey, Cordelia, wait a second.
Cordelia: (stops and faces her) Did Xander send you to beg for him?
Because if he did…
Buffy: No. I’m a free agent, I promise. I just wanted to see how you
Cordelia: Never been better. (starts to go)
Buffy: (follows) Cordelia, I know what it’s like to be hurt by someone.
(Cordelia faces her) Hurt so much that you don’t think you’re gonna make
it. But I told my friends how I felt, and you know what? It got a little
Suddenly a vampire jumps down behind Buffy and swings at her head, but
she middle blocks it and punches him in the face, which sends him to the
pavement on his side. Buffy punches him in the face while he’s down,
reaches for his shirt and yanks him back up to his feet. She spins him
around and lets go of his shirt. He staggers backward a couple of steps,
but keeps his footing. He advances and does two roundhouse kicks, which
Buffy low blocks. He tries a wide punch to Buffy’s head, but she ducks
it and rises back up to deliver a roundhouse kick to his side. This
sends him stumbling backward right at Cordelia.
Buffy: Cordelia, look…
Cordelia has no time to react, and gets knocked into a pile of garbage.
The vampire gets back up to his feet and comes at Buffy, jumping into a
half spinning crescent kick, which Buffy easily ducks. She grabs him
when he comes at her again and knees him in the stomach, then flips him
over onto his back. She pulls out her stake and jams it home. The
vampire bursts into ashes. Buffy turns her attention back to Cordelia,
who flicks a few pieces of trash from her dress and slowly climbs out of
the garbage heap. Buffy looks at her apologetically. Behind her she
hears the laughter of a group of girls, so she quickly tosses aside her
stake. Harmony and some of her friends walk by, look Cordelia over and
keep laughing as they go. After they’ve gone, Cordelia vents on Buffy.
Cordelia: You know what I’ve been asking myself a lot this last week?
Why me? Why do I get impaled? Why do I get bitten by snakes? Why do
I fall for incredible losers? And you know, I think I’ve finally
figured it out, what my problem is? It’s…
Cut to the quad at school the next day. Cordelia and Anya walk together.
Cordelia: …Buffy Summers. That’s when all my troubles started.
(winces in pain and holds her side) When she moved here.
Anya: Are you okay?
Cordelia: Oh, I just pulled some stitches last night. Know why? (looks
in Buffy’s direction) Surprise. It was Buffy’s fault.
Anya follows Cordelia’s gaze and sees Buffy and company sitting on a
bench. Harmony interrupts Cordelia and Anya.
Harmony: Oh, hey, it’s Garbage Girl. Loved the look last night, Cor.
Dumpster chic for the dumped.
She and her troop rudely walk right between Cordelia and Anya, giggling
and smiling. Cordelia looks down in embarrassment. Anya takes her
Anya: Here. I think you need this more than I do right now.
Cordelia lifts her hair away from her neck and lets Anya put it on.
Cordelia: Yeah, I can use some luck. (eyes Buffy) And a stick with
pointy, sharp bits. If that Buffy wasn’t… I swear. She’s a pain.
Anya: But Xander, he’s an utter loser. Don’t you wish…
Cordelia: I never would’ve looked twice at Xander if Buffy hadn’t made
him marginally cooler by hanging with him.
Anya: Really? (looks over at Buffy)
Cordelia: Yeah, I swear! I wish Buffy Summers had never come to
Anya turns back to Cordelia, who gasps to see that her face has suddenly
become very wrinkled and raw-looking, the embodiment of Anyanka, Patron
Saint of all women scorned.
The picture fades to white.
~ ~ Part 2 ~ ~
The picture fades from white back to the quad at Sunnydale High.
Cordelia looks around her. Anya is gone. Buffy, Willow and Xander are
not sitting at the bench anymore. There are far fewer students in
general. The place is, in fact, rather a mess. Garbage and palm leaves
are strewn about the quad.
Suddenly she notices that she no longer has her injury. Anya’s pendant,
however, is still around her neck. Slowly she begins to figure it out.
Cordelia: ‘I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale.’ (smiles)
She was, like… a good fairy. A scary, veiny… good fairy. (smiles
She laughs as she heads into the halls. Cut into the halls. Just like
outside, there are far fewer students inside. Everyone is dressed in
dark and drab clothing. Cordelia is the standout in her bright turquoise
dress. She sees Harmony and her friends at her locker, and hesitates.
Harmony closes her locker and sees her.
Harmony: Where have you been?!
She approaches Cordelia, and her friends follow. Cordelia gives them a
Harmony: Ted Chervin just totally went for third with Ginger in front
Cordette: (to Cordelia) Love the dress. It’s so daring.
Harmony nods in agreement. John Lee walks up to them.
John Lee: Cordelia.
John Lee: (pulls her aside) Look, every guy on campus has probably
asked, but if you’re not going to the Winter Brunch with anyone, I’d be
honored, and we’d have fun.
Cordelia: (considers her response) I’ll get back to you.
John Lee: Really?
Cordelia: Yeah. (smiles)
John Lee: Great!
He heads down the hall, a happy man. Harmony steps over to her.
Harmony: Cordy, you reign!
Cordelia: I do? I mean, I do. So what’s with the Winter Brunch thing?
Cut to class. It is less than half full, but even so most of the
students sit toward the back. The bell rings. The teacher hurriedly
gathers his things.
Teacher: Alright. Now, don’t forget, tomorrow we have our, uh, monthly
memorial, so, uh, there’s no class.
He rushes out of the room. The students also make a point of getting out
of there quickly.
Cordelia: What’s the rush?
Harmony: Oh, you know, my mom hates it when I’m late.
Cordelia: Since when? Aren’t we going out tonight? (gets up)
Cordette: Curfew starts in an hour.
Cordelia: Curfew? Come on, I’m in a really good mood! Let’s go to the
Harmony and her friends all stop and give Cordelia a disbelieving look.
Harmony: Is that a joke?
Cordelia: Oh! The Bronze isn’t cool in this reality. I’ve gotta make
these little adjustments. (smiles)
Harmony and Cordette exchange a look.
Harmony: Cordy, what’s with you? (the others leave) I mean, you wear
this come-bite-me outfit, you make jokes about the Bronze, and you’re
acting a little schizo.
Cordelia: You’re right. I just… Well, I bumped my head yesterday, and
I keep forgetting stuff. Not that I care, but Xander Harris, he’s
miserable, right? And that Willow freak he hangs with, not even a blip
on the radar screen, right? (smiles)
Harmony: (confused) Well, yeah. They’re dead.
Cordelia’s smile fades, not at all sure how she feels about that.
Harmony rolls her eyes and leaves the room.
Cut to what Cordelia thinks is the student parking lot. The lot is
completely empty and full of fallen leaves.
Cordelia: Okay. Not funny. (stops a passing janitor) Hey! You! Where
did you put my car?
Cordelia: My auto! El convertablo?
Janitor: You students aren’t allowed to drive, and you know it.
Janitor: Go on now, Miss. You better get in before the sun sets.
The janitor hurries off. Cordelia is now very confused. She starts on
her way home.
Cut to a street in town. The Sun Cinema is closed. The last shop pulls a
metal gate across its storefront. The street is dirty. A smashed car
just sits in the middle of it. In the distance Cordelia can hear sirens
and screams as she walks along. Suddenly Xander appears in front of her,
wearing only a white T-Shirt and black leather jacket and pants. She
startles and stops short.
Xander: Well, whadaya know? Cordelia Chase.
Cordelia: What is this? Some kind of sick joke? Harmony told me you
Xander: (plays her game) Now, why would she say something like that?
Cordelia: Listen to me. We have to find Buffy. She’ll figure out a way
to save us. She was supposed to be here, and as much as it kills me to
admit it… things were better when she was around.
Xander: Buffy? The Slayer?
Cordelia: No! Buffy the dog-faced girl! Duh! Who do you think I’m
Willow: Bored now.
She slowly walks up to them. She is also dressed in black leather. The
bodice of her outfit is trimmed in red lace.
Willow: This is the part that’s less fun. When there isn’t any
Cordelia: What’s up with you two and the leather?
Willow: (to Xander) Play now?
Xander: It’s not that I don’t appreciate your appetite, Will, but I
thought we agreed it was my turn.
Willow whines and brushes her hand against Xander’s chest.
Cordelia: No. No! No way! I wish us into Bizarro Land, and you guys are
still together?! I cannot win!
Xander: Probably not. (vamps out) But I’ll give you a head start.
Cordelia: (gasps) No!
She drops her bag and begins to run.
Willow: I love this part.
They kiss passionately with lots of tongue. Then Xander turns his
attention to the chase.
Xander: You love all the parts.
Willow follows at a walk as Xander runs after Cordelia. He jumps up,
runs over the smashed car and jumps down behind her, grabs her by the
neck and throws her down to the street. She rolls to a stop,
Willow: No fun. She didn’t even hardly fight.
Suddenly a van comes screeching around the corner.
Xander: Aw, swell. It’s the White Hats.
The van screeches to a stop next to Cordelia, and Giles jumps out with a
large cross in hand to ward them off. They have to back away. At the
driver’s seat Oz has the crossbow trained on them. Larry and Nancy jump
out of the sliding door, he with a stake held ready, she with another
Giles: I’ve got them! Get the girl!
Larry and Nancy pick Cordelia up and carry her into the van. Xander and
Willow growl angrily as they watch their prize being stolen from them.
When Larry and Nancy have Cordelia safely inside, Giles hops back in,
they slam the doors shut and take off.
Cut to the library. Cordelia is laid out on the large center table.
Oz: How’s she doing?
Giles: Her pulse is strong.
Nancy: What was she doing wearing that? Everyone knows that vampires
are attracted to bright colors.
Larry: That’s Cordelia. It’s better to look good than to feel alive.
Giles: Uh, go and, uh, watch the perimeters in case they follow.
Cut to the Bronze. “Dedicated to Pain”, by Plastic, blares loudly as
Xander and Willow approach the club. A couple of the vampires standing
outside feast on fresh victims caught out after dark. The two of them go
into the club and check out the happenings inside. There are several
cages containing terrified humans suspended a few feet from the floor.
Willow reaches in to one and strokes his cheek. They head toward the
back of the club, past the pool tables where a vampire has a wayward
biker tied to all four corners. Xander runs his hand across the man’s
Xander: (to the vampire) Slap my hand, dead soul man.
They shake hands, and Xander and Willow continue into the back. A guard
vampire holds the curtain aside for them to enter. When he sees them
come in, the Master rises from his throne. His two favored vampires come
to stand before him.
Master: Ahh. Xander… Willow… Hungry?
He grabs a girl by the hair and lifts her by it. The girl remains silent
with fear, but keeps her eyes fixed on the Master.
Master: (disgustedly) I’ve lost my appetite for this one. She keeps
looking at me. I’m trying to eat, and she looks at me.
He notices Willow’s desire for a kill, and turns the girl’s head toward
Master: Go on!
Willow smiles up at Xander, who gives her a look of approval. She turns
back to the Master and vamps out. The Master shoves the girl over to
her. She catches her in her arms with her head laid back and bites her
hard. Xander, as always, is impressed with her zest for a fresh drink.
Master: I remember that lust for the kill. (sits back down on his
throne) Now… What news on the Rialto?
Xander: Had a prime kill. An old crush, actually, till that wannaslay
librarian showed up.
Master: He’ll be dealt with soon enough.
Willow comes back to Xander’s side, licking her fingers.
Xander: Weird thing: girl kept talking about Buffy. ‘Gotta get Buffy
here.’ Isn’t that what they called the Slayer?
Willow: (strokes his chest) Hmm. Buffy. Ooo. Scary.
Xander: Someone has to talk to her people. That name is striking fear
in nobody’s hearts.
Master: (stands up) She talked of summoning the Slayer here, now, at
this time, and you didn’t kill her?
Willow: Well, they had crosses.
Master: The plant begins operation in less than twenty-four hours.
(steps up to them) You will find this girl. (strokes their cheeks) You
will kill her before she contacts the Slayer. Or I’ll see you two
Cut to the library. Cordelia groans as she regains consciousness. Giles
comes rushing down to her from the stacks and tries to keep her from
getting up too fast.
Giles: Hey! Hey…
Cordelia: (frantic) Giles! It’s all my fault! I wasn’t… I made this
Giles: Come on. Please lie…
Cordelia: No! You have to get Buffy. Buffy changes it. (Giles lets go
of her) It wasn’t like this. It was better. I mean, the clothes alone…
(Giles takes off his glasses) But people were happy. Mostly. And…
Wait. (slides off of the table) Why are you here and she’s not? I mean,
y-you were her Watcher.
Giles is amazed by what he’s hearing.
Giles: H-how do you know I was a Watcher? I’ve never…
They hear a series of thumps and taps outside.
Giles looks around carefully and puts his glasses back on.
Giles: I thought I heard something.
He goes into the cage and grabs a large cross and a stake from the
Giles: Now, I want you to start again and explain everything very
Before he can come out, he finds the cage door slammed shut on him.
Willow: You’re in a big cage.
She taunts him with the key. Xander has Cordelia pinned against him with
his hand over her mouth. Willow looks over at him.
Xander: Not too bright, Book Guy.
Willow turns back to Giles, who slams the cross against the cage,
forcing Willow back. She growls angrily. Xander forces Cordelia closer.
Xander: So you’re a Watcher, huh? (smiles widely) Watch this.
He lets go of Cordelia’s mouth and sinks his teeth into her neck. Giles
rattles the cage hard in protest, helpless to do anything. Willow smiles
at him, then turns around and bites Cordelia also on the other side of
her neck. Together they suck her dry. Xander reaches his arm around
Willow’s head and caresses her hair. Giles rages in anger as he is
forced to watch. In another moment Cordelia is dead, and Xander pushes
her lifeless body aside, letting it fall to the floor. Xander starts out
of the library. Willow gives Giles a smile and tosses the key at him as
she also leaves. Giles pants heavily as he looks down at the body of the
latest victim of these two vampires.
~ ~ Part 3 ~ ~
The library. Giles swings at the cage door with a double-bladed battle-
ax. It soon gives way and opens, and he rushes out to check on Cordelia.
He feels for a pulse, but he’s too late. Larry and Oz come running in
through the stacks.
Larry: They hit us right outside.
Oz: She’s dead.
Giles takes the news as well as can be expected.
Giles: Um… Would you mind… Could you take her to the incinerator? I
have some business to…
Larry and Oz set themselves to their grim task. Oz goes around to get
her legs, Larry grabs her by the shoulders. Just as they are about to
go, Giles notices the pendant around her neck.
Giles: Wait a moment.
He takes it off, and the boys carry her body away.
Cut to the Bronze. The Master takes a fresh hot demitasse of blood
espresso from his machine and sips it. He blows on it and takes another
sip. Behind him Xander and Willow report back from their mission. The
Master turns to face them.
Xander: The deed is done.
Master: You killed the girl that sought the Slayer?
Xander: It was too easy.
Willow: I felt cheap.
Master: Excellent. The opening will commence as scheduled. (takes
Willow: (approaches) So, you’re pleased?
Willow: Then… can I play with the puppy?
Master: Ooo. (smiles) Be my guest.
Willow smiles as the Master hands her the keys.
Cut to Giles’ apartment. He’s on the phone with Buffy’s Watcher.
Giles: Yes, I understand, but it’s imperative that I see her. Here.
(listens) Well… when will you? (listens) Yeah, well, you are her
Watcher. I’d expect her to at least check in to… (listens) Yes, I’m
aware that there’s a great deal of demonic activity in Cleveland.
(listens) It… Well, it happens, you know, that, that Sunnydale is on a
Hellmouth. (listens) It, it is so! (listens) Well… Just… Just give
her the message, if you ever see her again. (hangs up)
Cut to an external view of Sunnydale by day. The camera pans over the
red Spanish roofs typical of most of town. In the distance there is a
low haze over the ocean.
Cut to the Bronze. Cut inside. Willow approaches what can only be
described as a jail cell in the basement.
Willow: Bored now.
She walks over to the wall of whips, chains and other instruments of
Willow: Daytime’s the worst. (runs her hand over the leather) Cooped up
for hours. Can’t hunt.
She takes a pair of iron shears and clinks it along the bars of the
Willow: But the Master said I could play.
Inside the figure begins to stir.
Willow: Isn’t that fun, Puppy?
She unlocks the cell door and swings it in.
Willow: Aw… Puppy’s being all quiet. Come on. Don’t be a spoilsport.
The man groans as she straddles him. She grabs him by the hair and jerks
his head up. It’s Angel, and he moans from the rough treatment. He seems
constantly short of breath.
Willow: Guess what today is?
She runs the tip of the shears along his chin and down his throat.
Willow: Today the plant opens. It’s a big party.
She licks him from the base of his ear to his forehead and runs her
sharp fingernails along his neck.
Willow: You remember I told you about the plant? All those people you
tried to save? It’s gonna be quick for them. Not for you, though. It’s
gonna be slow for you.
She flips him over onto his back and straddles his stomach. He lets out
a painful moan.
Willow: That’s right, Puppy… Willow’s gonna make you bark. (smiles)
He cries out when she rips open his shirt to reveal several very deep
and bloody wounds on his chest. When she touches them he flinches hard.
Willow: Oh… Maybe I went too hard on you last time.
Behind her Xander strikes a wooden kitchen match with his thumbnail and
tosses it onto Angel’s chest. Angel cries out in pain.
Xander: Too hard? No such thing.
Willow: Watch it with those things. You almost got my hair.
Xander: Sorry. Got carried away.
He tosses her the large box of matches.
Willow: Don’t you want to?
Xander: No, thanks, baby. I just wanna watch you go.
Willow smiles and turns her full attention on Angel. She lights another
match, and the screen cuts to black. Angel screams in agony.
Cut to the library. Giles is in his office while Oz tunes the crossbow
and Larry carves stakes in the main area.
Giles: Here it is! I’ve found it. (comes out of his office) Look.
He sets down a book which is opened to a page with a sketch of
Giles: It’s what, um, Cordelia was wearing. It’s the, the, uh, symbol
of, of Anyanka.
Oz: I don’t think I know her.
Giles: Well, no. Um, Anyanka is a, sort of a Patron Saint of scorned
women. (sits on the table)
Larry: What does she do?
Giles: Uh, sh-she grants wishes.
Oz: So Cordelia wished for something? Well, if it was a long, healthy
life, she should get her money back.
Giles: She said something about everything being different, that the…
the world wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was, um, better. Before.
Larry: Okay. The entire world sucks because some dead ditz made a wish?
(gets looks from Giles and Oz) I just, I just want it clear.
Giles: She said the, uh… the Slayer was supposed to be here, was, um,
meant to have been here already.
Oz: Certainly would’ve helped.
Giles: Yes. I tried calling her, but, um… (stands up) Look, I’m, I’m,
I’m gonna have to… research this Anyanka thing further. Um, I have
some more… volumes at, at home. You two, two get some sleep. (goes)
Oz: Watch your back.
Cut to the street. Giles drives along in his ancient Citroen. As he
drives by a park he sees a bunch of people being herded into a stepvan.
He stops his car, grabs his large cross and rushes over to help. He
holds the cross up to the two vampires, who are forced to back away, and
yells to the people in the van.
When the people have all run away, he turns to run back to his car, but
a third vampire slams the rear van door into his face, knocking him flat
on his back. They try to grab him to load up, but the one at his feet
suddenly finds himself flying through the air and landing hard on his
back. The other two attack, but meet with similar fates. The first one
runs at his attacker again, but gets staked. The attacker grabs another
and stakes him. The others flee. Giles looks up at the person standing
at his feet.
Giles: Buffy Summers?
Buffy: That’s right. Wanna tell me what I’m doing here?
~ ~ Part 4 ~ ~
Giles’ apartment. Buffy looks around, bored out of her mind. Giles is on
the stairs looking through a book, and finally finds something.
Giles: Ah! Ah! Ah! Yes! (glances at Buffy and stands up) Here. (reads)
‘In order to defeat Anyanka, one must destroy her powercenter. (walks
down the steps) This should reverse all the wishes she’s granted,
rendering her mortal and powerless again.’ You see? Without her
powercenter, she’d j-just be a-a-an ordinary woman again, and all this
would be, um… well, different. (gets no reaction) Well, I’d say that
my, my Watcher muscles (closes the book) haven’t completely atrophied
after all. (takes off his glasses)
Buffy: (unimpresssed) Great. What’s her powercenter?
Giles: Um, well, um, um… (glances at the book again) It doesn’t say.
Buffy: Why don’t I just put a stake through her heart? (goes to his
Giles: She’s not a vampire.
Buffy: Mm, well, you’d be surprised how many things that’ll kill.
(sniffs a liqueur bottle)
Giles: I don’t want to kill her, Miss Summers. I want to reverse
whatever effect she’s had on this, this… world.
She puts the bottle back down and turns to face him.
Buffy: You’re taking an awful lot on faith here, Jeeves.
Buffy: (shrugs) Kill the bad fairy… destroy the bad fairy’s
powercenter, whatever, and all the troubles go away?
Giles: Yeah, well, I’m sure it’s not that simple, but…
Buffy: (interrupts) World is what it is. We fight. We die. Wishing
doesn’t change that.
Giles: I have to believe in a better world.
Buffy: Go ahead. I have to live in this one.
She strolls over to his chess table, lifts her right leg up to set her
boot on its edge and spits into her hand to literally give it a spit
Giles: Cordelia said she knew that I was meant to be your Watcher. She
said she knew you.
Buffy: (works her spit into the leather) She’s probably just a big fan.
Giles: The Master sent his most vicious disciples to kill her. Now,
she, she must have posed some threat to him. (puts his glasses back on)
Buffy: (suddenly attentive) The Master?
Giles: Um, supreme vampire around these parts. He, he lives on the
outskirts of town in an old club.
Buffy: You know where he lives, and no one’s ever tried to take him
Giles: People have tried.
Buffy: Well, point the way. I might as well do some good while I’m in
this town. (goes to get her weapons)
Giles: You can’t just walk in there and…
Buffy: Look, you wanna stay here and play make-believe, fine. (puts her
crossbow strap over her shoulder) I’m not gonna be any help to you
anyway. There’s only one thing I’m good at.
Giles: At least let’s muster some kind of force.
Buffy: I don’t play well with others. Now, I’m gonna ask you this once,
and then I’m gonna get testy.
Giles gives in and tosses his book onto his desk.
Buffy: Where’s this club?
Cut to the Bronze. Buffy whips aside the curtains and comes out of the
Master’s sitting area. She strolls through the club and sees the hanging
cages, the ropes dangling from the pool tables, and everything for the
most part put away as though the place were just closed for the day.
Eveything, that is, except for the dead boy in one of the cages.
Cut to the stairs to the basement. Buffy comes down quickly and finds
the cell where Angel is chained to the wall. He is shivering hard. She
looks around a bit as she walks up to the bars. He looks up at her, and
a look of recognition appears on his face. She in turn just gives Angel
a blank look, turns and starts to walk away.
She stops in her tracks.
Angel: Buffy Summers.
She turns to face Angel and gives him an inquiring look. Angel gets
another look at her, and now he’s sure.
Angel: (weakly) It’s you. I mean… you don’t remember. How could you?
Buffy: How did you know my name?
Angel: I waited. I waited here for you. But you never… I was supposed
to help you.
Buffy: (huffs) You were gonna help me.
Angel: (weakly) The Master rose. He let me live… to punish me. I kept
hoping maybe you’d come. My destiny.
Buffy: (huffs) Is this a get-in-my-pants thing? You guys in Sunnydale
talk like I’m the Second Coming.
Angel: I’m sorry. I just meant…
Buffy: (interrupts) Look, I don’t have time for stories. Where’s the
Angel: They’re at his factory. It starts tonight.
Angel: (tries to move) I (grunts) I can take you there.
Buffy is wary of the whole situation, but decides she can at least give
him a chance. She kicks in the door to the cell and approaches Angel.
She reaches behind him to get at his chains, but in doing so the cross
around her neck hangs down in his face, and he flinches from it. Buffy
reacts, jerks back and drops the chains.
Buffy: Oh, you gotta be kidding me!
She stomps out of the cell.
Angel: Wait! I won’t hurt you.
Buffy: (faces him) No. You’ll leave that to your Master.
Angel: You don’t believe I wanna help you?
He makes a hard effort to stand up and opens his shirt to show her his
Angel: Believe I want him dead.
She stares at his wounds for a long moment.
Cut to the Master’s factory. The camera pans from a control panel across
the crowd of gathering vampires, past a wooden cage full of humans and
the machine waiting in front of it, and over to the Master up on a
Master: Vampires, come! Behold the technical wonder, which is about to
alter the very fabric of our society. Some have argued that such an
advancement goes against our nature. They claim that death is our art. I
say to them… Well, I don’t say anything to them because I kill them.
Undeniably we are the world’s superior race. (the camera closes in on
him) Yet we have always been too parochial, too bound by the mindless
routine of the predator. Hunt and kill, hunt and kill. Titillating? Yes.
Practical? Hardly. Meanwhile, the humans, with their plebeian minds,
have brought us a truly demonic concept: (spreads his arms) mass
Vampires: (cheer) Yeah! Yeah!
Xander: We really are living in a golden age.
He is visibly moved by the proceedings. Willow tilts her head toward him
Cut to Giles’ apartment. He has several bags and bowls of various herbs
and powders laid out on his chess table. He grabs a couple of them and
goes over to his desk with them, where he has a large golden goblet
already smoldering. He pulls bits of an herb from a bushel and drops
them into the goblet as he recites the ritual to summon Anyanka.
Giles: Oh… Anyanka… I-I beseech thee… (puts on his glasses to
read) Um… (turns a page) In the name of all women scorned… (adds
more herb to the fire) Come before me.
He looks around his apartment to see where she might appear. She does
so, but in the shadows under the stairs to his loft, where he doesn’t
notice. Slowly she walks into the dim light of the room.
Giles: Oh! (lets out a nervous breath)
Anyanka: Do you have any idea what I do to a man who uses that spell to
Giles gazes at her with a look of foreboding.
Cut to the factory.
Master: Bring on the first!
At the cage the vampires shove a couple of the humans back from the
gate, lift off the crossbar and open it. Oz realizes what’s about to
happen, but can’t do anything. Two vampires go into the cage and choose
He points to and grabs Cordette. Xander and Willow look on as she
screams and is dragged out.
Cordette: Nooo! No! Please! No! Help me! No! Noooo!
Some of the men in the cage attempt to resist and help her, but they are
easily knocked aside. Once they have her outside, one of them shocks her
with a cattle prod. Her body goes limp. The gates to the cage are
closed, and the mortals all gather to watch in horror. The two vampires
drag her to the end of the machine. One of them lifts her into a long
stainless steel pan like the ones used for autopsies and lays her down
Master: She’s still alive, you see, for the freshness.
The machine is turned on, and the pan moves along the conveyor to the
blood draining station. On either side are four arms that extend over
Cordette, each with a very large needle on the end. They all plunge into
her body and begin to suck the blood from it. At one end of the
contraption is a tap for sampling the blood, and a glass is filled for
the Master to taste. In the cage Larry and Oz watch in disbelief. At the
back of the factory Buffy and Angel peek around a corner. On the machine
Cordette lets out her last few muffled sounds and dies. Xander and
Willow watch with anticipation.
Angel: (to Buffy) What’s the plan?
Buffy: (holds up her stake) Don’t fall on this.
The glass with the blood sample is passed up to the Master. Buffy and
Angel calmly make their way through the crowd of vampires toward the
stage. The Master rubs his fingers in anticipation of the first taste of
blood from his new machine. The arms extract themselves from Cordette,
and the pan with her body moves along the conveyor for disposal. The
glass of blood is handed up to the Master. He holds it up to his
subjects for a toast.
Master: Welcome to the future.
Vampires: To the future! To the future! To the future!
Buffy raises her crossbow at the Master and fires. Instantly the Master
pulls Xander in front of him, and the bolt hits him in the right
shoulder. Buffy aims the crossbow at another target, but it gets knocked
from her hand. Panic sets in among the vampires. Buffy ducks a wide
swing from a vampire. She jumps up and brings her foot down to smash the
back of his knee. Angel attacks a vampire by the cage, punches him in
the face and shoves him aside. He rushes over to the gate and throws off
Willow: (smiling) Uh-oh. Puppy got out.
Angel throws open the cage’s gate and starts pulling people out. Buffy
twists a vampire’s arm around, immobilizing him, and does a jumping
roundhouse kick to his gut. The crowd of humans streams into the fray.
Oz reaches up and breaks a piece off of one of the wooden cage bars. He
immediately jams it into the back of a vampire. All around humans and
vampires fight. Xander and Willow finally decide it’s time to join in
and jump down from the stage.
Cut to Giles’ apartment. Anyanka slowly approaches Giles, who bravely
stands his ground.
Giles: Cordelia Chase. What did she wish for?
Anyanka: I had no idea her wish would be so exciting! Brave New World.
I hope she likes it.
Cut to the factory. Buffy ducks a swing from a vampire and repeats her
earlier maneuver of stomping on the back of his knee. She grabs him by
his shirt and throws him over the conveyor. He pulls a section of it
over with him. Buffy punches another vampire in the face. Yet another
one tries to grab her by the neck from behind, and she spins around and
elbows him in the face. As the second one comes at her again, she side
steps him and sends him barreling into the third one.
Gut to Giles’ apartment.
Giles: You’re gonna change it back.
Anyanka finally gets too close, and he takes a couple of steps back.
Giles: I’m not afraid of you. Your only power lies in the wishing.
Anyanka makes a sudden and hard grab for his neck.
She lifts him and slams him against a wall.
Cut to the factory. Willow swings at Buffy, but misses as Buffy ducks
the punch. Buffy backhand punches Willow in the face and follows up with
a roundhouse kick to her stomach. Willow falls to the ground. Buffy
senses something behind her and turns around in time to backhand punch
an incoming vampire. She spins around again, this time to face Xander.
She grabs onto his shoulder and yanks his body down to meet her knee,
getting him twice in the gut and then in the face. She turns again to
find her next target. Xander gets to his feet and comes at Buffy. Angel
sees him make his move, and runs to Buffy’s aid.
Angel: Buffy, look out!
Still unaware of Xander’s imminent attack, Buffy roundhouse kicks
another vampire while holding onto his arm. She lets go of him as he
falls. Angel runs past her and uppercuts Xander in the face. Xander in
turn lunges at Angel with the crossbow bolt that he’s pulled from his
shoulder, and impales Angel. Angel turns to face Buffy and grabs his
He crumbles to ash. Buffy takes it like he’s just another dead
vampire, and marches over to another fray to continue the fight.
Anyanka: This is the real world now.
Cut to Giles’ apartment. She still has him pinned to the wall.
Anyanka: This is the world we made. Isn’t it wonderful?
Cut to the factory. Buffy notices a vampire run up behind her and
backhand punches him, sending him flying through the air. She turns her
attention back to Xander, who is just throwing a man aside. He sees her
coming, and advances on her in turn. He swings at Buffy, and she punches
his arm away. Taking advantage of the opening, she swings her stake into
his chest, and he explodes into ashes. Without a care, Buffy turns back
around and starts looking for her next victim. Willow sees her love
staked and makes a move toward Buffy, but Larry grabs her by an arm and
tries to pull her back. Oz shakes free of a vampire and runs to Larry’s
assistance, grabbing her by the waist and shoving her back into a broken
piece of the cage. She instantly bursts into ashes.
Buffy high side kicks a vampire in the face, knocking him to the floor,
and turns to face the Master. He slides down the stair railings from the
stage and shoves aside the vampire and mortal blocking his way. Buffy
begins a determined stride in his direction. The Master shoves more
people and vampires aside in his determination to get at the Slayer.
Buffy does the same.
Cut to Giles’ apartment. He is beginning to choke. Just then he notices
the amulet around Anyanka’s neck begin to glow green, and makes a grab
for it, wresting it from her neck. This causes her to let go of him, and
he backhand punches her in the face, sending her staggering across the
Cut to the factory. Buffy and the Master finally meet with swings that
middle block each other. Buffy tries to wrap her hands around the
Cut to Giles’s apartment. He scrambles to his desk, lays the amulet on
it and searches frantically for something to smash it with. He soon has
his marble paperweight in his hand. Anyanka gets up from the floor.
Anyanka: You trusting fool! How do you know the other world is any
better than this?
Giles: Because it has to be.
Cut to the factory. The Master does a backhand swing, snapping Buffy’s
head back, dazing her. He grabs her by the shoulders and pulls her to
Cut to Giles’ apartment. He raises the paperweight and starts to swing
it down with full force at Anyanka’s amulet.
Cut to the factory. The Master grabs Buffy’s head.
Cut to Giles’ apartment. He swings the paperweight down.
Cut to the factory. The Master gives Buffy’s head a hard twist, snapping
Cut to Giles’ apartment. He swings the paperweight further down.
Cut to the factory. Buffy’s expression is blank as she begins to sink to
Cut to Giles’ apartment. He smashes the paperweight onto Anyanka’s
amulet. It shatters into thousands of pieces and emits a burst of green
Cut to the factory. The Master watches as Buffy’s body begins to fall,
then moves on. The picture fades to bright white.
The picture fades from white back to the quad at Sunnydale High School
and Cordelia making her wish. She no longer has Anya’s pendant around
Cordelia: I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale.
Anya turns back to face Cordelia.
She is taken aback when nothing happens, not yet quite aware that she is
no longer immortal.
Cordelia: That would be cool! No, wait. I wish Buffy Summers had never
She is surprised that nothing’s happening. She looks down at herself in
Cordelia: And I wish that Xander Harris never again knows the touch of
a woman. (smiles, starts to walk away) And that Willow wakes up
tomorrow covered in monkey hair.
Anya: (tries again) Done!
The camera follows Cordelia to where the gang is sitting.
Cordelia: In fact, I wish all men except maybe the dumb and the really
Giles walks past the group and makes a point of checking his watch. They
all just smile at him and nod.
Cordelia: …disappear off the face of the earth. That would be so
cool! Or maybe…
The camera pulls in on Xander, Buffy and Willow smiling and talking
cheerfully among themselves.