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As Buffy and Riley stand in the doorway of Joyce Summers’ house, Riley tells Buffy that while he must go to a debriefing, he is in no danger of being put away for disobeying Initiative orders. Willow, Joyce and Giles look on as Xander appears from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn.
Riley says his good byes to Joyce and the gang, and everyone retreats to the living room. Giles asks Joyce to join the gang in their Videofest, but Joyce declines, saying she is too tired.
As Joyce takes a personal bowl of popcorn up to her bedroom, Xander pops “Apocalypse Now” into the VCR, claiming that they have enough videos to last them all night.
But before the FBI warning on the tape is over, Buffy, Willow, Xander and Giles are fast asleep, physically and mentally drained from defeating Adam. Inside Willow’s dream, she sits in Tara’s room, painting a message in a strange language on Tara’s back.
Tara is concerned that they haven’t found a name for Miss Kitty yet, but Willow is not worried. Tara tells Willow that everyone will find out about her, but Willow tells her that she doesn’t have time to worry about what her friends think because she has to prepare for her Drama class.
Willow gets up and opens the curtains and looks out into the arid dessert outside. Willow senses that something is out there, but she can’t see it. Suddenly she finds herself walking through the halls of UC Sunnydale.
As she turns a corner, she is joined by Xander and Oz, who inquire about her choice to take Drama class. She barely notices Oz, who informs her that he has always been there. Before she can open her locker, the bell rings, and she goes to class.
She wanders into the backstage of a theater, where a bunch of people are hastily assembling their costumes for a play that is about to start. An orchestra can be heard tuning behind the curtains.
Dressed as a Swedish mountain girl, Harmony approaches Willow and tells her that she is so excited to start the play. Buffy comes from behind the curtain, dressed as a 1920’s flapper, and tells Willow that her whole family is out in the audience, and they look angry.
A cowboy-clad Riley tells Willow that she could have a better part if she would have arrived on time. Confused, Willow tries to tell them that this is only the first drama class of the semester. As she tries to make sense of it all, Giles, the director of the play, comes in to rally the troops.
He tells the cast that everyone Willow knows will be out in the audience, and that if they go out there and lie like dogs, this will be the best presentation of “Death of a Salesman” that they have ever seen.
As they break from the huddle, a creature catches Willow’s eye, but she can’t make it out. A man next to her tells her that he has made room for the cheese. Confused, she turns around and walks into a corridor of curtains, where Tara waits for her.
She tells Willow that everyone is starting to wonder about the ‘real’ Willow, and when they find out, they will punish her. As Buffy curses all males onstage, Willow tries to figure out who is following her, and as she turns around, Tara is gone.
Suddenly a creature attacks Willow from inside the curtain, but Buffy rescues her and pulls her into an empty classroom. Buffy looks at Willow’s clothes and tells her that the play is over, and she should take off her costume.
When Willow tries to explain, Buffy rips off her clothes, leaving Willow in a young schoolgirl’s costume. Suddenly, the classroom is full of Buffy’s peers, and Buffy sits down and joins them as they mock her. As she starts to read her book report, the creature attacks her again, pouncing on top of her.
She screams for help, but no one in the classroom seems to notice. Back in the living room, the Willow in the real world squirms in agony in her sleep. Xander ‘wakes up’ into his dreamworld back in Buffy’s living room.
Giles and Buffy watch a distorted version of “Apocalypse Now” while Willow writhes in her sleep. Xander walks up the stairs to go to the bathroom, and Joyce greets him at the top of the stairs, dressed in a sultry red nightgown.
She asks Xander to come in and lay down with her, reassuring him that she has learned a lot about boys. Xander accepts the invitation, but heads for the bathroom first. As he steps into the bathroom and unzips his fly, he notices that he is being studied by a large group of Initiative doctors and soldiers.
Uncomfortable, he leaves and walks across the hall, walking into another door that leads into his basement bedroom. Someone or something is trying to open the door at the top of the stairs, and Xander tells himself that that is not the way out.
Suddenly, Xander finds himself walking through a park, and he comes across Buffy, Giles and Spike. Giles and Spike swing together on a swing set, Giles training Spike how to be a watcher. Buffy plays in the sandbox, and Giles asks her if she should be playing there.
Suddenly, Buffy sits in the center of a vast desert. She tells Xander that she is way ahead of him, and refers to him as his brother. After a long silence, Xander makes a comment about always moving forward, then looks off in the distance to see himself selling ice cream to children out of his ice cream truck.
As he moves to the front of the truck it is already in motion, and he sits down next to Anya. She tells him that she wants to get back into vengeance.
As he tries to explain that society has rules about vengeance, he turns around to see Willow and Tara, both dressed very provocatively, making out in the back of the truck. Without moving their lips, they tell him that he is interesting and invite him to come back with them.
Anya tells him to go ahead, so he climbs into the back of the truck. As he climbs over a box, he ends up in his basement bedroom again, calling for the girls, who are nowhere to be seen. The knocking at his door begins again, this time a little more fierce.
As he turns around, the same man from Willows dream holds up a plate full of cheese slices, telling him that they will not protect him. As the door breaks down, Xander runs from his bedroom into the halls of UC Sunnydale.
The halls are washed in green light, and no one notices Xander, or the creature chasing him through the halls. He runs into Giles, and Anya, who start speaking to him in French.
He is picked up by a group of students, and suddenly he ends up inside the “Apocalypse Now” movie, walking through the forest in military camouflage. He ends up in a dark POW camp kneeling next to another one of the prisoners, Principal Snyder.
Snyder tells Xander that he is a whipping boy, raised by mongrels to be a sacrificial lamb. Xander stands up to relieve a cramp and finds himself in Giles’ courtyard, the creature from Willow’s dream hot on his tail.
He runs through Giles’ house, into the halls of UC Sunnydale, through the door of Buffy’s dorm room and a dark hallway, ending up back in his basement. The knocking at the door has become very fierce, and Xander whispers that that is not the way out.
The door flies open and Xander’s father walks down the stairs, scolding him for being ashamed of his family. As he gets close to Xander he shoves his fist through Xander’s chest, pulling out his heart. As Xander looks up, he sees the creature from Willow’s dream.
Back in Buffy’s living room, the ‘real’ Xander lurches in his sleep. Giles’ dream begins with him trying to hypnotize Buffy, who merely laughs at his old-fashioned ways.
Suddenly, Giles finds himself walking through a macabre nighttime Fair in the cemetery with Buffy and Olivia, who pushes a baby stroller. A pigtailed Buffy runs ahead, begging to play the midway games. She finds a game where she throws a ball at a wooden vampire figure, and misses.
After Giles coaches her she hits the vampire and jumps up and down. Spike calls over from his crypt, urging Giles to come over before he misses everything, and Giles obliges. When he enters the crypt, Olivia sits in the corner, crying over an overturned baby stroller, and Spike poses for bunch of Paparazzi.
As Giles tries to figure out what to do with all of this, he runs into the Cheese man, who is wearing slices of cheese on his shoulders and forehead. Appalled, he walks out of the crypt and into The Bronze, where Xander and Willow study Giles’ books on the old library furniture.
Giles comes in carrying another book, apologizing for his tardiness. Despite boasting a gaping chest wound, Xander seems to be more annoyed by having to attend Anya’s comedy act, which he professes as his real reason for being there.
As Anya tells jokes on the stage, Willow and Xander tell Giles that something is following them. He suggests that their old selves are following them.
Suddenly Giles jumps onto the stage, and bursts into song, singing about how the spell they performed with Buffy must have released some primal evil. As the crowd gets into the music, he sings for Willow to look into the Chronicles for a reference to a warrior beast.
A burst of feedback brings the song to a halt, and Giles traces the microphone cord backstage to find the source of the problem. He crawls back on his hands and knees until he finds a watch in the wires, then freezes as he realizes the creature is right above him.
He tells the creature that he knows who it is, and that he can defeat the creature with only his intellect. As he tells the creature that it underestimates his powers because it never had a Watcher, the creature scalps him, and the ‘real’ Giles convulses in his sleep in Buffy’s living room.
Buffy ‘wakes up’ into her dreamworld in her dorm room. Anya, her roommate, begs her to wake up but she rolls over to go back to sleep. For a split second she sees the creature above her bed, before waking up again in her old bedroom.
She stands next to Tara, asking her if she had come there to tell her something, then realizes that she needs to find her friends because they are not there. Tara tries to hand her a tarot card, but Buffy refuses. Tara tells Buffy that she doesn’t know who she is to become, that she has even begun.
Buffy leaves to find her friends and Tara warns her to return before dawn. Wandering through the halls of UC Sunnydale, she finds Joyce living inside a whole in one of the walls. Buffy asks Joyce to get out of the walls, but Joyce tells Buffy that she is happy living in the walls, and that she should go find her friends.
Distracted, Buffy walks away and into a government map room, where she finds Riley and the whole human form of Adam sitting at a conference table.
Riley informs her that his debriefing went well, that they made him the Surgeon General and that they are drawing up the next plan for world domination with coffee machines that think.
Buffy disagrees with their plan of world domination, but Adam retorts by telling her that they are the same, they just go about their natural aggression in different ways. Buffy asks Adam what his name was before he was changed and he tells her that not a human alive would know.
Suddenly, the alarm sounds, and Riley and Adam run off to build a fort. Buffy sees the bag at her feet and tries to tell them that she has weapons, but they have already left. She bends down to look in the bag, and finds that it is full of mud.
With the mud on her hands, the only thing she knows to do is spread it across her face. As her mask nears completion, Riley interrupts her, telling her that now that she is not looking for her friends, she must go it alone.
He leaves, and the sun bursts into the room, and Buffy walks out into the same arid dessert that she appeared in before. Tara comes out to speak for the creature, a primitive young woman who Tara identifies as the first Slayer.
She professes that Slayers do not walk on the earth, and work alone, only to slay. Buffy tells her that times have changed, that she needs her friends and that she wants them back. The man with the cheese pops in without saying a word, and Buffy says that she’s just going to wake up.
With those words, the two Slayers engage in furiously fast fight. As they roll down a huge embankment, Buffy shouts out that the fight is OVER and wakes up out of her dream in her living room. As she gets up, the first Slayer jumps at her, and she realizes she is not out yet.
The Slayer tries to stab her but Buffy just ignores her and sits down on the couch. As Buffy begins to give her hair care advice, Buffy, Willow, Xander and Giles snap out of their dreams simultaneously.
Sitting at the dinner table, Giles surmises that they must have stirred the spirit of the first Slayer with their spell. They all agree that the Slayer’s spirit was not good for sleep.
As Buffy gets up to go take a shower, she tells the rest of the group that they were lucky enough not to have dreamed about the guy with the cheese.
As Buffy passes by her bedroom, she looks in and hears Tara’s voice repeat: “You think you know. What’s to come, what you are. You haven’t even begun.”
INT. BUFFY’S FOYER/DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Buffy is at the door saying goodbye to Riley. Willow and Giles are in the dining room, Giles standing
near enough to make conversation, not near enough to intrude.
You’re sure you’ll be all right.
Sure as I am of anything. Which is
less and less, these days.
Cause I could be there
in the morning —
It’s just a debriefing. They’re not
gonna make me disappear, and they’re
not pinning anything on me. I got
Graham and a lot of the guys
testifying I’m the reason they’re
alive. I might actually get out of
this with an honorable discharge.
In return for your silence, no doubt.
Oh yeah. Having the inside scoop on
the administration’s own Bay of
Mutated Pigs is definitely an
Yeah, it’s like you’re blackmailing
(off Riley’s look)
In a patriotic way…
I’ll call you when it’s over.
Xander and Joyce emerge from the kitchen. Xander has a bowl of popcorn, Joyce a tray of drinks and
Dinner is served! My very own recipe.
You pushed the button on the
microwave marked ‘popcorn’?
Actually, I pushed ‘defrost.’ But
Joyce was there in the clinch.
You guys have fun tonight.
It was nice meeting you.
It was nice meeting you… finally.
He smiles at Buffy, closes the door.
Notice how pointedly I said ‘finally?’
They move into
INT. BUFFY’S LIVING ROOM – CONTINUING – NIGHT
Let the vidfest begin!
You sure you don’t want to join us?
(setting down the tray)
No, you guys have your fun. I’m
tired… I can’t believe you guys
aren’t exhausted — have you even
Still feel a bit too wired.
Yeah, that spell, that was powerful.
I don’t think I could sleep.
Well, we got plenty of vid. And I’m
putting in a preemptive bid for
Apocalypse Now. Heh?
Did you get anything less
As they talk, they settle. Buffy and Willow on the couch with blankets, Giles in an armchair, Xander
on the floor with pillows, near the TV.
Joyce leaves them and heads up the stairs.
Apocalypse Now is a gay romp! It’s
the feel good movie of whatever year
Don’t worry, I got plenty of chick-
and-British-guy-flicks too. These
puppies’ll last us all night.
ANGLE: THE TV
The FBI warning is on it. We move in, and up to a clocking reading 9:46.
REVERSE ANGLE: THE GANG
Fast asleep, to a man. Buffy snores prodiguously.
END OF TEASER
INT. BUFFY’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
We see our four passed out heroes. Camera moves slowly to WILLOW, to her sleeping face, and we
INT. TARA’S DORM ROOM – DAY
Though you can’t tell if it’s day or night — the curtains are drawn and the room is lit only by the
ambient glow of the Christmas lights. They are all we see at first, hanging out of focus as the camera
finds Tara’s face, in profile. She speaks almost in whisper, smiling thoughtfully. Lying on her stomach,
on the bed.
I think it’s strange… I mean I
think I should worry, that we haven’t
found her name.
CLOSE ON: WILLOW
She is looking down at something, intent on it — we don’t know what it is, nor her relation to Tara in
the room. She glances up briefly.
Who? Miss Kitty?
ANGLE: THE KITTEN
In the corner, in extreme slomo (120 frames per), attacks a red ball of string, framed before a gold
Also watches the kitten.
You’d think she would have told us
her name by now.
She will. She’s not all grown yet.
You’re not worried?
I never worry here. I’m safe here.
You don’t know everything about me…
Have you told me your real name?
Oh, you know that…
ANGLE: A CALLIGRAPHY BRUSH
As Willow dips it into a well of ink. We see Willow’s face as she moves the brush to where she is
writing, very intent.
They will find out, you know.
I don’t have time to think about
that. You know, I have all this
homework to finish.
And for the first time, we see the room in tableau: Tara lies naked under the covers, her back
exposed and covered in fine writing; Willow dips her pen and continues the text to the small of Tara’s
Are you gonna finish
in time for class?
I can be late.
But you’ve never taken drama before.
You might miss something important.
I don’t want to leave here.
Willow moves to the window.
It’s so bright…
ANGLE: THE WINDOW
As Willow pulls the curtain aside to reveal that outside is all DESERT.
Light cuts Willow’s face, races up Tara’s back as she looks back towards the window as well.
And there’s something out there…
ANGLE: IN THE DESERT
Something moves, briefly, out of focus. A human shape, in grey and dirty rags, moving like an
INT. UNIVERSITY HALL – DAY
Willow walks along, lost in thought. Passes Oz and Xander, who have been talking.
Heard you’re taking Drama.
You took it?
Oh, I’ve been here forever.
She comes to a bank of lockers that are incongruously placed in the wall, starts her combination.
So, whatchya been doing?
She does spells with Tara.
I heard about that.
The school BELL rings. Willow becomes a little unnerved by it.
I’m gonna be late.
She gives up on her combination, hurries away. We hold on Xander and Oz, watching her go.
Sometimes I think about two women
doing a spell… and then I do a
spell by myself.
INT. BACKSTAGE – DAY
Willow enters into a whirl of activity — the place is crammed with students in costume, obviously
getting ready for an imminent production. To one side, at the back of the stage, is a bright, lemon-
yellow backdrop, a painted sunrise. On the opposite side, at the front of the stage, is an enormous
red curtain, which separates them from the audience. A girl dressed as a 20’s FLAPPER is sticking her
head through the middle to peek at the audience. Pinspots highlight portions of the stage, colored
lights occasionally sweeping across the throng. It’s disorienting, particularly to Willow, who wades in
tentatively, looking for some kind of guidance.
The first person she recognizes is HARMONY, who is dressed as a milkmaid, hair in braids.
Isn’t this exciting? Our first
She hugs Willow with gleeful camaraderie.
I can’t wait ’til our scene! I love
you! Don’t step on my cues.
The flapper pulls her head back from the curtain — it’s BUFFY. Full outfit, short black bob and
everything. Like Harmony, (and everyone else here save Will), she’s almost TOO excited, almost like
a commercial for being here.
Oh my god the place is packed.
(to Will, excited)
Your whole family is in the front
row — and they look really angry!
There’s a production?
Someone’s got stage fright…
But isn’t this the first class?
Well you showed up late or you’d have
a better part! I’m cowboy guy!
He is in fact, sporting a dude-ish cowboy getup just as doofy as his grin.
Your costume is perfect.
No one is ever gonna know the truth.
You know, about you.
Find — but — costume?
Ooh, you’re already in character.
I should have done that.
But how come there’s a — I mean, I
was given to understand that a drama
class would have a, you know, drama
class. We haven’t even rehearsed —
Well maybe some people haven’t…
(aside, to Harmony)
I was on time so I got to be cowboy guy.
I just think it’s really early to be
putting on a play. I don’t even know what —
This isn’t Madam Butterfly, is it?
I have a whole problem with Opera.
Giles rushes in, clearly in charge of this production. Claps his hands and addresses the troupe.
All right, everyone, pay attention.
In just a few moments that curtain
will open on our very first
production. Everyone Willow has ever
met is in that audience, including
all of us. That means we have to be
perfect. Stay in character, remember
your lines, and energy energy energy.
Especially during the musical numbers.
As he speaks, and Willow grows more and more unnerved, she notices
ANGLE: THE FIGURE FROM THE DESERT
Moving silently and quickly beyond the edge of the crowd. We see it only in glimpses, but slightly
better than we did before. We won’t catch all of this now, but: It’s a woman. She appears to be in
soiled rags, not unlike a mummy’s. Black hair in coarse dreds — through neglect, not fashion. Face
painted in colored clay. Long, almost clawlike nails.
We’ll call her THE PRIMITIVE.
She carries a long, jagged blade. (incredibly different from the blade carried by the villain in episode
22 of ANGEL, really I can’t stress this enough.)
Did you guys see —
Remember, acting isn’t about
behaving. It’s about hiding. The
audience wants to find you, they want
to strip you naked and eat you alive
Harmony has gone VAMP and is trying to bite Giles, craning at various angles to get a better
purchase on his neck. He swats at her as at a buzzing insect as he continues:
Stop that. Costumes. Sets. The
things, you know, things, you touch
them and hold them —
Yes. It’s all about subterfuge.
That’s very annoying.
(to the company)
So get out there, lie like dogs and
have a wonderful time. If we can
stay focussed, keep our heads and if
Willow can stop stepping on
everybody’s cues I know this will be
the best production of Death of a
Salesman we’ve ever done.
He bustles off and everyone begins talking at once: the nervous excitement of just-before-curtain.
Willow looks around her, completely cut off from the energy — a fact that is highlighted when all the
SOUND DIES OUT, though everyone continues chattering.
Willow makes her way slowly to the edge of the stage. She looks around, nervous about seeing the
figure in rags again. She looks in the wings and sees:
ANGLE: THE CHEESE MAN
A skittish, balding, bespectacled little fellow in an old woolen suit. A voice not unlike Peter Lorre’s. He
says softly, conspiratorially:
I’ve made a little space for the
TILT DOWN to see a row of American cheese slices on a small wooden table. Tilt back up as the
cheese man smiles, hungry for approval.
Willow looks back at the bustling (still silent) crowd, moves slowly toward the edge of the red
curtain. There are in fact two curtains, both red, about two feet apart. Willow hesitates a moment,
then moves slowly between them, the camera following her, curtains billowing past lens on either
side as she is enveloped.
BETWEEN THE CURTAINS
She journeys a while in this intimate space — it seems to go on a long while. Finally she finds Tara
standing, waiting for her. They speak, voices low.
Things aren’t going very well.
Well, NO. Drama class is just, I
think they’re really not doing things
in the proper way, and now I’m in a
play and my whole family’s her and
why is there a cowboy in Death of a
You don’t understand yet, do you.
Is there something following me?
Well what should I do? The play’s
gonna start soon and I don’t know my
The play’s already started. That’s
not the point.
ANGLE: ON STAGE
We see the play in progress. We are wide, taking in the proscenium. It is lit old style, from below. To
the right is a plush divan, the only set dressing. On it is draped Buffy, smoking from a cigarette
holder with languid boredom. Harmony stands in the middle of the stage holding her milk pails on an
old fashioned cross-beam-yoke-type-thing, look I can’t remember what they’re called, I’m not like
joe dictionary, okay?
Riley enters, from the left. Speaks, as they all do, in a big ol’ stage voice.
Why hello, little lady. Can I hold
those milk pails for you?
Why thank you, but they are not very
heavy. Why have you come to our
lonely small town, which has no post
office and very few exports?
I’ve come looking for a man.
(ominously, to the audience)
ANGLE: WITHIN THE CURTAINS
Tara and Willow continue to speak.
If they find out, you’ll be punished.
I can’t help you with that.
But what’s the… What’s after me?
Is it something I forgot to do? Was
I supposed to —
She looks around, worried. Willow does also. Things seem to be moving around them, indistinct
whispers buzzing by their ears.
What is that…
She looks around — and turns back to find Tara gone.
ANGLE: ON STAGE
This time we are close on Buffy and Riley as Buffy spews a rapidfire, venomous monologue to the
unfeeling cowboy man. In the background, Harmony is sitting on the divan in tears. A man (high
school actor boy) in a black suit lies dead on the stage. Somehow, all of this is in focus.
But what else could I expect from a
bunch of low rent, no account
hoodlums like you — hoodlums! Yes.
I mean you and your friends, your
whole sex, throw ’em all in the sea
for all I care, throw ’em in and wait
for the bubbles. Men, with your
groping and spitting, all groin no
brain three billion of ya passin’
around the same worn out urge. Men.
With your… sales.
ANGLE: INSIDER THE CURTAIN
Willow looks around, concerned at Tara’s absence. The whispers continue around her…
Tara… Okay, this really isn’t fair —
The sentence is not out before a blade SHOOTS through the curtain right in front of Willow’s face. It
is the ancient, bloodcrusted blade of the Primitive.
Willow jerks back with a startled scream as the blade is withdrawn, plunged again just as close.
She turns to flee the way she came — but the blade shoots out in front of her again. This time it pulls
down, tears the curtain as an arm reaches in, swiping the blade at Willow.
Fingernails rip down another part of the curtain and the second arm claws at Willow, tries to grasp
her, Willow backs away but the knife slices through her flailing hand, a deep gash on her palm as she
stumbles, collapses into herself, crying out, waiting to be cut, to be carved.
A hand GRABS her, and she screams again — taking a good moment before she realizes it’s not the
She looks up to see Buffy, back in normal Buffy garb (and hair), reaching through one of the slashes
in the curtain.
Buffy, oh, God…
Willow rises shakily, steps through the curtain, Buffy holding onto her hand. Buffy looks around,
tensed for action. They are standing in front of the curtain, but as they creep forward we see they
are now in
INT. HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM – DUSK
The classroom is empty, lit by the last orange shafts of day. The curtain stands at the back, so Buffy
and Willow move slowly to the front, ever alert, speaking in whispers.
Moving between desks. Buffy leads. She is all business, eyes front — almost brusque in her
What did it look like?
I don’t know. I don’t know why it’s
Well you must have done something…
No! I never do anything! I’m very
seldom naughty. I just came to
class, and then the play was
They’ve reached the front of the class. Buffy turns to Willow, really regards her for the first time.
Play’s long over. What are you still
doing in costume?
Okay, still having to explain wherein
this is just my outfit.
Willow, everybody already knows.
Take it off.
No… No, I need it…
Oh, for God’s sake just take it OFF.
And so saying, she grabs at an out-of-frame Willow, shoving her to the front of the class and ripping
the outfit from her. Buffy stands, Will’s outfit in hand, looking the girl over.
REVERSE ON: WILLOW
As we saw her once, a long time ago. Long, slightly duller red hair. Plain grey frock that embodies the
softer side of you know what. (Uh, Sears, just in case you don’t.) A hapless, almost sick expression
of embarrassment. She stands by the teacher’s desk, looking at herself.
REVERSE ON: THE CLASSROOM
The curtain is gone from the back of the class. Buffy stands at the front, looking at camera with
Well, that’s a little more realistic.
She sits behind a desk and we see the class is in fact filled. Among the students, all of whom eye us
with contempt, are Xander, Harmony, Anya, Oz and Tara. Oz and Tara lean in close to each other, as
though they’ve been whispering for some time.
See? Is everybody very clear
on this now?
Oh my god! It’s like a tragedy!
I tried to warn you…
Tara smirks, leans back in to Oz.
It’s exactly like a greek tragedy.
There should only be greeks.
Willow tries to stand up straight, tries to get on with class. She is holding a sheaf of loose-leaf
My book report. This summer, I read
The Lion, the Witch and the
(to the ceiling)
Oh, who CARES….?
This book has many themes.
One of the first —
It LEAPS into frame, knocking Willow to the ground. No one even reacts (of course) as Willow
thrashes, fighting for her life against the Primitive. It hasn’t its knife this time, just struggles to hold
the panicked girl down.
Help! Help me!
ANGLE: THE CLASS
CLOSE ON: WILLOW
As a gnarled and filthy hand closes around her throat. The head is lowered to hers — we see its
mouth open, dirty brown teeth as its mouth closes over Willow’s — then we hear a great RUSH OF
AIR as the life is sucked out of Willow, her eyes widen and her skin goes sallow, gaunt, the lifeforce
sucked out of her —
INT. BUFFY’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
— and she lies, unwakening, gasping for air, choking, dying in her sleep.
END OF ACT ONE
INT. BUFFY’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
We are still on Willow, gasping, convulsing slightly. Pan over to find Xander sleeping. He jerks his
I’m awake! I’m good.
Did I miss anything?
WIDEN to reveal Buffy and Giles are wide awake, Buffy munching on popcorn as they watch what’s
Nothing much at all, really.
Bunch of massacring.
Xander turns his attention to the TV.
ANGLE: ON THE TV
Is the movie. Vietnam flick. It consists of a haggard SOLDIER marching in front of a rear-screen-
We’ve got to keep going, men! We’ve
got to take that hill.
Damn this war!
Men? Oh my god, what’s
happened to my MEN!!!
I have to say, I really feel
Apocalypse Now is over-rated.
(staring, puzzled, at
No, no… it gets better… I
remember that it gets better…
You want some corn?
New car smell.
He reaches for the bowl as she holds it out. His posture puts him right by Willow — he looks at her
What’s her deal?
Xander takes a handful, eats as he watches the flick.
I’m beginning to understand this
now. It’s all about the journey,
Well, thanks for making me
have to pee.
He gets up, heads upstairs.
You don’t need any help, right?
I got a system.
Camera FOLLOWS him up the staircase.
INT. BUFFY’S HOUSE – UPSTAIRS – CONTINUING – NIGHT
Xander crests the stairs, is heading for the bathroom when he hears something, turns to look.
Behind him is Joyce’s bedroom. It’s dark, and it’s from that dark that Joyce emerges, wearing a
burnished red silk robe. Her hair is carelessly tousled, her expression warm, a little sleepy. She looks,
well, kinda sexy.
Hey, Joyce. Mrs. Summers.
He moves towards her — he will continue to do so, slowly, throughout their exchange.
We’re not making too much noise down
there, are we?
Oh, no. Anyway, they all left a
Oh. I should probably catch up.
I’ve heard that before.
She leans in the doorway, the opening of her gown sliding up her leg. Xander notices this, and it
gives him pause — but both he and Joyce are very calm. Comfortable.
I move pretty fast. You know, a
man’s always after…
I’m a conquistador.
What about comfort?
I’m a comfortador, also.
I do know the difference. I’ve
learned about boys.
That’s cool about you.
It’s very late. Would you like to
rest for a while?
As she says it, the camera drifts off her, into the room,
resting on the moonlit bed. The covers are tossed open,
rumpled and inviting.
Um, yeah. I’d like you. I’m just
going to the bathroom first.
A moment before he breaks eye contact with her — he’s still drawn to her — then he steps back,
heads down the hall to the bathroom.
LOW ANGLE PUSH IN ON JOYCE, affectionately watching him go.
Don’t get lost…
INT. BUFFY’S HOUSE – BATHROOM – CONTINUING – NIGHT
He enters, shuts the door. Stands over the toilet, unzips his (out of frame) fly. A moment, and he
turns toward camera.
REVERSE ANGLE: OVER XANDER
The bathroom turns out to be a large room in the Initiative. A group of some fifteen scientists and
soldiers are standing politely, watching Xander as though he were a museum exhibit.
A moment more.
Okay. I’m gonna find another bathroom.
He says, zipping his fly back up. Camera leads him back into
INT. BUFFY’S HOUSE – UPSTAIRS – CONTINUING – NIGHT
Where he crosses the (now empty) hall and steps into Buffy’s room, which turns out to be
INT. XANDER’S BASEMENT – CONTINUING
Only a couple of lights are on. Xander shuts the door behind him, starts across the room. About
halfway, he stops. Hears something.
Looks around. Nothing.
I didn’t order any vampires…
He moves to the stairs, starts up. Stops.
ANGLE: THE DOOR
Something moves behind it. Scratches at it.
Xander stares, clearly frightened.
The doorknob turns — but the door is locked. The knobs rattles as the person behind it begins to get
That’s not the way out…
The person BANGS on the door. Once. Twice.
That’s not the way out…
And very carefully, so his feet don’t creak the stairs, Xander backs off the staircase. He heads back to
the door he came in by, throws it open and splits.
EXT. PLAYGROUND – DAY
Steadicamming towards the playground. Swings, carousel, sandbox. Buffy sits in the sand box, idly
digging sand with a little plastic shovel. Giles and Spike (who is dressed in a tweedy suit kind of like
Giles’) sit on the swings.
Xander joins the group, still a little thrown by his basement experience.
Hey. There you are.
You sure it’s us you were looking for?
She smiles secretively at Giles, who returns it. Xander is aware he’s missed something.
Giles here is gonna teach me to be a
Watcher. Says I got the stuff.
Spike’s like a son to me….
Well, that’s good. I was into that
for a while, but I got other stuff
He indicates the nearby road, and we see:
ANGLE: THE ICE CREAM TRUCK
Where Xander is handing out ice cream to a few kids.
In the park, watches himself in the truck. Says to the others:
Gotta have something. Gotta be
always moving forward.
Like a shark.
A shark with feet. And much less… fins.
AND on land.
Xander looks down at Buffy in her sandbox. Worried.
Buffy, are you sure you want to play
there? Pretty big sandbox.
Is in the same position and the same clothes, but now she is sitting in the actual desert.
I’m okay. It’s not coming for me yet.
Xander is still in the park — so is Buffy, for the rest of the scene.
I just mean… You can’t protect
yourself from… some stuff.
I’m way ahead of you, big brother.
She looks at him, for the first time her air of superiority drains away. They hold a serious look for a
Giles and Spike are swinging higher, enjoying themselves.
Come on, put your back into it! A
watcher scoffs at gravity!
Xander looks at Buffy.
From the ice cream truck, Xander looks at Xander. From his POV, we see the tableau of the four of
them, Xander and Buffy not moving, Giles and Spike swinging as high as they dare.
INT. ICE CREAM TRUCK – DAY
A moment more of watching them, and Xander starts to the front of the truck. Anya sits in the
passenger seat. The truck is ALREADY MOVING, the suburban streets going slowly by in the windows
in what is pretty clearly REAR SCREEN PROJECTION.
Xander gets into the driver’s seat.
Do you know where you’re going?
North. To the mountains. The
highest peak, the one they call “100
percent scary plummeting death.” The
test of a man.
Do you know where you’re going?
I’ve been thinking about getting back
Is that right?
Well, you know I miss it, I’m so at
loose ends since I quit and I think
this is gonna be a very big year for
I don’t know…
I’ve been keeping close tabs on
cultural trends — a lot of Men being
unfaithful — very exciting things
happening in the scorned women
market. I don’t wanna be left out.
Yeah, but, isn’t vengeance kind of…
You don’t want me to have a hobby.
Not a vengeance hobby, no. It’s
dangerous. People can’t just do
anything they want. Society has
rules, and borders, and an endzone.
It doesn’t matter if…
Through the end of this, he’s become aware of some giggling in the back of the truck. He looks back
ANGLE: WILLOW AND TARA
Are standing in the back, dressed kinda trampy. Very close to each other, whispering and looking at
Do you mind? I’m talking to my demon.
We just think you’re really
They giggle a bit.
Oh, I’m goin’ places.
I’m way ahead of you.
Is that right?
She and Tara move closer –
We hold on Xander pushing in incredibly slowly, while the girls show him something. Whatever that
may be, we hold on him for quite a long time, and he remains impressively calm.
The girls, having (however marginally) separated, smile at Xander.
Do you wanna come in the back with us?
They look to the further, darker back of the truck. Xander looks interested, then slightly perplexed.
He looks over at Anya. She is still looking out at the road as she says.
Oh, go on.
I don’t have to…
I’ll be fine. I think I’ve figured
out how to steer by gesturing emphatically.
She does, waving the truck from drifting off the road, as Xander heads for the back of the truck.
REAR OF ICE CREAM TRUCK
ANGLE: XANDER is framed in the open back window of the ice cream truck. The rear-projected town
drifts by as he pauses, then he heads to the back of the truck. He has to squeeze between a few
crates and sundries. He keeps going. As he gets further back, he has to climb on top of things. The
space gets smaller, gets darker.
He’s still moving back — now’s he squeezing through a space the size of an air vent.
Finally the space widens, and he finds himself tumbling out and landing on the floor, the floor of:
INT. XANDER’S BASEMENT – NIGHT
He looks around him. A little pissed. No girls. He checks around the room…
PUSH IN ON: THE UPSTAIRS DOOR
As something big SLAMS against it.
Camera dutches on Xander as he looks up, truly frightened. Trying for bravado, he cries:
I know what’s up there!
More pounding, Xander heads for the other door again, slowly, looking back.
ANGLE: THE STAIRCASE
As the door SLAMS open and a thick black shadow is thrown against the wall.
Now Xander’s terrified. He turns to go — and bumps right into the CHEESE MAN.
Xander starts back. The cheese man holds up a plate of American cheese.
These will not protect you…
We hear footsteps on the stairs. The shadow moves.
Xander moves as well, past the Cheese Man and out the damn door.
INT. SCHOOL HALL – DAY
Or possible night. Or possibly — why is everything so GREEN? Flat, green light fills the entire place,
not that Xander notices. He is too busy moving through the crowd (it’s fairly busy in here), looking
ahead, looking behind him.
ANGLE: BEHIND HIM
Hidden by the crowd, but visible in glimpses, the PRIMITIVE is following him.
Xander pushes ahead until he sees Giles, moves to him.
Xander! What are you doing here?
What’s after me?
It’s because of what we did.
I know that.
What we did?
The others have all gone ahead. Now
listen carefully. Your life may
depend on what I am about to tell
you. You need to get to —
And at this moment, as Giles continues to speak, he is suddenly DUBBED INTO FRENCH. We can see
him talking, but we can’t understand a word any more than Xander can, unless we speak French, in
which case la di da aren’t we intellectual, I’m not Joe DICTIONARY, all RIGHT?
(french dubbing over:)
— the house where we’re all
sleeping. All your friends are there
having a wonderful time and getting
on with their lives. The creature
can’t hurt you there.
What? Go where? I don’t understand.
Oh for God’s sake, this is no time
for your idiotic games!
Anya rushes to them, worried. And dubbed.
(with the dubbing)
Xander! You have to come with us
now! Everybody’s waiting for you!
That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him.
Honey, I don’t — I can’t hear you…
Anya grabs his arm, start dragging him.
It’s not important. I’ll take
Well, wait. Where are we going?
She just pulls, and Giles grabs an arm and pulls as well. Then a student starts helping. Then an
Initiative soldier, Xander looking around confused, resisting as more and more students and soldiers
grab hold of him, they hold him and turn him upside down, the camera also spinning upside down, he
is calling out:
Hey! Let go! Hey!
— as they hold his legs, his head and arms dragging him on the ground, him calling for help that
INT. KURTZ’S SLEEPING QUARTERS – NIGHT
It’s very dark. A fire burning in the background provides the only real illumination. A man lies on a
cot in an alcove, almost entirely in blackness. Xander is led by an Initiative soldier with a rifle. He
makes Xander get on his knees before the alcove, then retires into the background.
If any of this seems familiar, it’s because you’ve watched Apocalypse Now way too many times. If
you haven’t, you should — as much as possible, this scene should resemble the first meeting
between Willard and Kurtz.
And though he will remain in darkness for a portion of the scene, and only be revealed in glimpses, it
will be clear to some the moment he speaks that our “Kurtz” is PRINCIPAL SNYDER. He doesn’t
move, just lies there, his voice finally coming from the darkness:
Where you from, Harris?
Well, the basement, mostly.
Were you born there?
Snyder sits up, face still mostly in darkness.
I walked by your guidance counselor’s
office one time, a bunch of you were
sitting there, waiting to be…
shepherded, to be guided. You and
the other problems, glassy-eyed,
slack-jawed, I remember it smelled
like dead flowers. Like decay, and
it hit me, yes, that’s what it is;
the hope of our nation’s future is a
bunch of mulch.
You know, I never got the chance to
tell you how glad I was you were
eaten by a snake.
Snyder takes a shallow wooden bowl, dribbles water on the dome of his head as he continues.
Where are you heading?
Well, I’m supposed to meet Tara and
Willow… and possibly Buffy’s mom…
Do you know why they sent you here?
Not ‘sent’ so much as ‘manhandled’,
Your time is running out.
No, I’m in my prime. This is
Snyder runs his hand over his head, slowly. Still looking down.
Are you a soldier?
I’m a comfortador.
For the first time, Snyder really brings his face into the light, eyeing the boy with distant contempt.
You’re neither. You’re a whipping
boy, raised by mongrels, and set on
a sacrificial stone.
I’m getting a cramp…
He hears something. Looks around, then rises, slowly, backs
away to find himself in
EXT. GILES’ COURTYARD – NIGHT
He looks around, and we see:
ANGLE: THE ENTRANCE
The Primitive is just coming around the corner, walking on her knuckles like an ape.
Xander watches a moment more, then we hear a panther’s ROAR, and Xander —
(NOTE: This is the beginning of a rather epic steadicam shot)
He moves into:
INT. GILES’ APARTMENT – CONTINUING
Where Giles, Buffy and Anya are all looking at a passed out and slightly convulsing Willow.
It’s even more serious than I thought.
I can fight anything, right?
Maybe we should slap her.
Xander doesn’t stop, keeps going, looking behind him, into Giles’ hall, turns the corner into Buffy’s
hall, students ignoring him as he starts to walk even faster, very worried, he’s almost at Buffy and
Willow’s room when the Primitive leaps into the hall from Giles’ hall, Xander ducks into
INT. BUFFY AND WILLOW’S DORM ROOM – CONTINUING
But no one is there, he’s increasingly freaked, throws open Willow’s closet door and bolts in, the
CAMERA FOLLOWS HIM as he works further into the closet, it turns left, a narrow wooden corridor,
Xander moves swiftly through it, still throwing looks back, the corridor winds a bit and finally opens
out onto (you guessed it)
INT. XANDER’S BASEMENT – CONTINUING
You did guess it, didn’t you?
(the steadicam shot ends.) Xander looks around — this is the worst. And the POUNDING on the door
upstairs has gotten louder. Xander is compelled to move toward it, to the bottom of the stairs, to look
That’s not the way out…
ANGLE: THE DOOR: BURSTS open, a silhouetted figure of a burly man standing on the entrance.
What the hell is wrong with you? You
won’t come upstairs?
What are you, ashamed of us? You’re
mother’s crying her guts out!
You don’t understand…
The figure stomps down the stairs toward him.
No, YOU don’t understand! Life ends
here, with us! You’re not gonna
change that. You haven’t got the HEART.
has backed against the wall, is not even looking at the approaching figure. On the last word a hand
suddenly PLUNGES into XANDER’s chest. Xander looks up into the eyes of the Primitive.
ANGLE: XANDER’S CHEST
As his heart is ripped out of it.
INT. BUFFY’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Xander convulses like he’s been shocked, but does not wake up. The camera holds on him a moment,
then tilts up and moves deliberately towards Giles.
END OF ACT TWO
INT. GILES’ APARTMENT – NIGHT
ANGLE: A POCKET WATCH
Swings before us, catching the light. We hear voices, far off and echo-y:
You have to stop thinking. Let it
wash over you.
You don’t think it’s a little old
This is the way women and men have
behaved since the beginning, before time.
ANGLE: GILES AND BUFFY
We are as far from them as we can be, they are a tableau within the apartment, all the furniture
gone save the chair Buffy sits in, primly, erect.
Now look into the light.
CLOSE ON: BUFFY
As the light gambols about her eyes, and she laughs, playfully —
ANGLE: GILES’ ARM
As Buffy grabs it, pulls him along…
EXT. GRAVEYARD/FAIR – NIGHT
Buffy pulls him along, trying to get him to hurry. In her sundress, with her insistent attitude, she
resembles nothing so much as a child. Giles’ dress is casula, hip but not undadlike. The familial
image is reinforced by the presence of OLIVIA, who is both pregnant and pushing an empty stroller.
Come on! Come on!
They are walking through a graveyard, to be sure, but there is a bit of the state fair to it as well.
Many standing crypts and caskets line the lane. Families occasionally pass them by, certain crypts
have been set up as ring toss games and the like. It’s not obtrusive (i.e. Not a Generic Scary Carnival
Nightmare With Wide Angle Shots Of Carousel Horses Type Thing), there’s just a comfortable level of
Buffy continues to pull, Giles good-naturedly to resist.
We’re gonna miss all the good stuff!
Does she always want to train this badly?
It appears she never heard the fable
Which one is that?
(tries to think)
You know, with the fox, and the…
less patient fox.
Ooh! Here! Can I? Can I?
Yes, go ahead.
She lets go of his hand, moves to a stand (of crypt-like stone) that has balls set up, three to a pile,
and dummy mock up of a vampire that pops up and moves around at the back.
Buffy takes a ball, waits.
The dummy pops up and a tinny, recorded voice cries:
I’m a vampire!
Buffy throws a ball, it goes wide.
Buffy, you have a sacred birthright
to protect mankind. Don’t stick out
She tries again, nails it. Looks to Giles for approval. He looks peevish.
I haven’t got any treats…
Buffy turns to the vendor, who hands her a cotton candy. She digs into it.
For God’s sake, Rupert, go easy on the girl.
This is my business. Blood of the
lamb and all that.
Now, you’re gonna get that all over
Buffy turns — and her face is caked with mud. She looks wild and primeval, breathing hard through
her nose. (NOTE: This close-up will be filmed separately, when Buffy is all muddy in act four.)
I know you…
ANGLE: THE CRYPT at the end of the lane. Spike is leaning out of it, waving frantically at them.
Come on! You’re gonna miss everything!
INT. SPIKE’S CRYPT – NIGHT
Giles enters, Olivia (who is already there) trying to fold the stroller without much success. (Buffy is
no longer present.)
Don’t push me about, you know, I have
a great deal to do.
He is speaking to Spike, who stands before a group of tourists taking pictures, posing and making
I’ve hired myself out as an
At least it’s showbiz…
Olivia has failed to fold the stroller. She is sitting on the floor, crying, the misbent thing in her lap.
Giles looks at her, unsure how to help, torn — he must go. Asks Spike for advice:
What am I supposed to do with all of this?
Gotta make up your mind, Rupes. What
are you wasting time for? Haven’t
you figured it all out yet with your
enormous squishy frontal lobes?
(starting to walk)
I still think Buffy should have
He moves down through the crypt, not sure where he’s heading. Passes the Cheese Man, who has
slices of cheese on his head, including two with holes ripped out over his eyes.
I wear the cheese. It does not wear me.
Giles stares at him a moment, then continues.
Honestly, you meet the most appalling
sort of people…
He continues walking and exits the crypt, camera leading him into:
INT. THE BRONZE – CONTINUING
It’s busy, people bustling about in the usual fashion. Giles starts making his way through the crowd
to the front.
ANGLE: XANDER AND WILLOW
Are sitting on the couch in Giles’ living room — except of course it’s in the middle of the club, near
the stage. They look worried, going through the books on Giles’ coffee table.
Camera moves up to find Giles coming from behind them. He reaches the living room set up, sits in a
I’m sorry I’m so late. There’s a
great deal going on, all at once.
Don’t we know it. Only at death’s
door over here… Look at Xander!
Xander opens his jacket to reveal a big wet bloodstain in the middle of his (ripped) T-shirt.
Got the sucking chest wound
swinging… I promised Anya I’d be
there for her big night. Now I’ll
probably be pushing up daisies in the
sense of being in the ground
underneath them and fertilizing the
soil with my decomposition.
Giles looks up at the stage and sees:
Her big night appears to be a stand up routine. She stands at the mic in the spotlight, reading a joke
(from a sheet of loose-leaf) that she seems to have no real understanding of.
Okay. A man walks into the office of
a doctor. He is wearing on his head,
a… there’s a duck? Is that right?
UNSEEN PATRON (V.O.)
Quiet. You’ll miss the humorous conclusion.
Giles turns back to the others.
She seems to be doing quite well.
Do you even know this is your fault?
We have to think about the facts,
Willow. I’m very busy. Have a gig
myself, you know.
Something is trying to kill us. It’s
like some primal… some animal force.
That used to be us.
Don’t get linear on me now, man…
And the duck tells the doctor,
“there’s a man that’s attached to my ass.”
Huge laughter from the crowd. Anya beams.
See, it was the duck and not the man
Applause. She heads off stage.
Rupert, if we don’t know what we’re
fighting, I don’t think we have a chance.
He gets up as she is speaking and heads onto the stage. Straps on his acoustic guitar and, to great
It’s strange. It’s not like anything
we’ve faced before, yet it seems
familiar somehow. Of course!
The spell we cast with Buffy must
have released some primal evil,
that’s come back seeking… I’m not
sure what. Willow, look through the
Chronicles. Some reference to a
warrior beast… Xander, help Willow
and try not to bleed on my couch.
We’ve got to warn Buffy. I tried her
this morning but I only got her
machine. Oh, wait…
But the mic goes dead. All the noise stops but for a feedback hit. Disappointed AWWs from the
crowd. Willow and Xander barely look up from their books.
Giles takes off his guitar, looks down at the mic cord. He tugs at it, then gets on his backs and knees,
following it, pulling himself along behind a stack of speeakers and equipment.
The cord becomes tangled in another, and more, soon Giles is following a maze of entwined cable,
still on his hands and knees, no one visible, just all this equipment around him, and all this… cable…
ANGLE: THE CABLE
As Giles’ POCKET WATCH falls out of his pocket onto it.
Giles stops. Weary dread on his face.
Well, that was obvious.
WIDER ANGLE: The Primitive is perched on a speaker right behind him. We see her silhouetted by an
indoor LIGHTNING FLASH. Blade in hand.
Giles doesn’t move as she creeps down behind him.
I know who you are. And I can defeat
you. With my intellect. Cripple you
with my thoughts.
ANGLE: THE TOP OF HIS HEAD
As she prepares to cut it open.
Of course you underestimate me. You
EXTREME CLOSE ON: GILES’ FACE
as blood begins to wash down it from out of frame.
You never had a Watcher…
INT. BUFFY’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Giles takes in a gasping breath. His eyes do not open.
END OF ACT THREE
INT. BUFFY’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Hey, it’s Buffy’s turn! Therefore, close on her as we hear:
Buffy, wake up!
INT. BUFFY AND WILLOW’S DORM ROOM – MORNING
Buffy wakes up in her dorm bed, looking over at:
ANGLE: ANYA across the room in Willow’s. She clutches at the covers, pulling them up to her chin in
Buffy, you have to wake up! Right away!
I’m not really in charge of these things…
Please wake up oh please!
(turning onto her back)
I need my beauty sleep, okay, so stop —
ANGLE: BUFFY’S POV
Right above her, hanging from the ceiling, face right near hers, is the Primitive. It ROARS in her face
INT. BUFFY’S BEDROOM – MORNING
Buffy WAKES suddenly — it was only a bad dream… WIDEN to see she’s in her bedroom at home.
She has made a mess of the sheets in her nightmare.
REVERSE ANGLE: BUFFY
Looks at the mess of a bed from the doorway.
We find TARA standing next to her. Tara is completely poised, quite — clearly on top of whatever’s
going on here.
Faith and I just made that bed…
I thought you were here to tell me.
The guys aren’t here, are they? We
were gonna hang out, watch movies.
You lost them.
No, I… I think they need me to find them.
She looks at the clock by the bed:
ANGLE: THE CLOCK reads 7:30.
Buffy looks worried about the time.
It’s so late…
Oh, that clock’s completely wrong.
She produces a deck of tarot cards, tries to hand it to Buffy.
I’m never gonna use those.
Tara moves closer, whispers in Buffy’s ear:
You think yhou know. What’s to come,
what you are… You really have no idea.
ANGLE: THE BEDROOM
The bed is made now. It’s very still.
I gotta find the others.
Be back before dawn…
INT. UNIVERSITY HALL – DAY
Buffy walks through the hall, searching for her friends. She stops a passing student.
Have you seen my friends anywhere?
They wouldn’t just disappear; they’re
my very good friends.
The student just walks away. Buffy continues on, a bit peeved at the no response. A few feet on she
stops, looking over at the wall. She moves to it and we see that a small hole has been broken
through, showing a glimpse of the dark, cramped space behind.
Inside that space is Joyce.
Oh, hi, honey.
Mom, why are you living in the walls?
Oh, sweetie, no, I’m fine here.
Don’t worry about me.
It looks dirty.
Well, it seems that way to you… I
made some lemonade, and I’m learning
to play Mah Jong. You go find your
I think they’re in trouble-danger…
Sorry dear. Sorry. A mouse is
playing with my knees.
I really don’t think you should live
Well, you could probably break
through the wall…
But Buffy has caught a glimpse of:
ANGLE: XANDER – Rounding a corner.
Buffy moves after him.
INT. INITIATIVE – DAY
We are quite wide in the bright white space. Riley and another man sit at opposite ends of the glass
conference table. The other man some will recognize as ADAM, but he is entirely human. Riley wears
his Sunday suit, Adam something similar.
Buffy approaches slowly, from a distance.
Hey there, killer.
Riley! You’re back!
I never left.
How did the debriefing go?
I told you not to worry about that!
It went great. They made me Surgeon General.
Why didn’t you come and tell me? We
could have celebrated.
Oh, we’re drawing up a plan for world
domination. The key element? Coffee
makers that think.
World domination. Is that a good?
Baby, we’re the government. It’s
what we do.
She’s uncomfortable with certain
concepts. It’s understandable.
Aggression is a natural human
tendency. Though you and me come by
it another way.
We’re not demons.
Is that a fact?
Buffy, we’ve got important work here.
A lot of filing, and giving things names.
What was yours?
Before Adam? Not a man among us can remember.
A voice sounds on the intercom:
The demons have escaped. Please run
for your lives.
The lights go dimmer as Buffy looks at Riley, panicked. The men are all business.
This could be trouble.
We’d better make a fort.
I’ll get the pillows.
He exits as Buffy stands there, too frightened to speak up. We see a passel of demons approaching
from behind, out of focus.
No wait… I have weapons…
She reaches into her bag.
INSERT: HER BAG
is filled with mud. She sinks her hand into it, pulls it back. Drops to her knees in a panic, reaching
into the bag and finding nothing but mud.
She looks at it on her hands. Brings them to her face. Slowly, she starts covering her face in it,
putting on more and more.
The demons are long gone. She looks up at Riley, face now looking just a little like it was when Giles
saw it. Animal.
Riley backs away, a scolding look on his face.
If that’s the way you want it baby,
I guess you’re on your on your own.
Buffy watches him go. The light on her changes again, daylight streaming in from the side.
She stands, heads toward it.
ANGLE: BUFFY’S FEET
As she walks, we see sand on the ground. Finally she’s walking only on sand.
ANGLE: HER FACE
Is no longer muddy. The wall behind her gives way to rock, and finally we are
EXT. DESERT – DAY
Buffy walks past the Initiative wall and into the bright white desert, the flat, sandy vista spreading
Camera arms up to find that Buffy stands atop a lone, large, sand dune.
She looks around, worried.
I’m never gonna find them here…
Appears opposite Buffy on the dune, walking toward her. She is dressed in Indian garb, midriff and
skirt. Again, preternaturally calm.
Of course not. That’s the reason you came.
She stands a ways apart, the two of them regarding each other.
You’re not in my dream.
I was borrowed. Someone has to speak for her.
Let her speak for herself. That’s
what’s done in polite circles.
As she says this, the Primitive appears right behind her. Buffy is aware of her, but does nothing.
The Primitive circles her, slowly, sniffing her, assessing her. Buffy is rigid, the Primitive all angles and
motion, finally ending up in front of Buffy.
As this is happening, we cut between the two slayers as though they are conversing, though it is Tara
who speaks for the Primitive.
(to the Primitive)
Why do you follow me?
Where are my friends?
You’re asking the wrong questions.
Make her speak.
I have no speech. No name. I live
in the action of death. The blood-
cry, the penetrating wound. I am
destruction. Absolute. Alone.
The Primitive stands erect at that, facing Buffy with defiant pride.
Buffy looks down, at her hand. Sees:
INSERT: The deck of tarot cards that Tara had tried to hand her. The top card is actually a birds eye
view of the four friends asleep in Buffy’s living room (CGI insert).
I’m not alone.
The Primitive growls, snaps her teeth at Buffy.
The slayer doesn’t walk in the world.
I walk. I talk. I shop, I sneeze,
I’m gonna be a fireman when the
floods roll back. There’s trees in
the desert since you moved out, and
I don’t sleep on a bed of bones. Now
give me back my friends.
The Primitive struggles to contain her rage, finally spitting forth:
No… friends… just the kill… we
As she says this last, the Cheese Man leans into frame, dangling a couple of slices invitingly.
That’s it. I’m waking up.
The Primitive LEAPS into frame, knocking Buffy back out of it.
And they fight, briefly, the Primitive strong with primal rage, Buffy more sophisticated, the martial
After a quick exchange Buffy comes up at the edge of the dune, saying:
The Primitive dives at her, tackling her and they both roll down the dune and we hard cut to:
INT. BUFFY’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Buffy wakes up. Everything is the same as it was, except Buffy is lying in the middle of the floor. She
raises herself, looks over at the gang — they are still sleeping.
Buffy is about to speak when the Primitive drops into frame right in her face and stabs her, bringing
the knife down again and again…
She stops. Buffy looks pretty bored. There is no blood on her.
Are you quite finished?
She gets up, moves back to where she was sleeping. The Primitive stands, bewildered.
You just have to get over the whole
primal power thing. You’re not the
source of me.
She sits, makes herself comfy.
Also, in terms of hair care, you
really want to say ‘what kind of
impression am I making in the
workplace?’ ‘Cause that particular look —
And in midsentence:
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
She wakes, for real — gasping with the intensity of it. Looks about as the other four go through the
They look at each other, overwhelmed.
INT. BUFFY’S FOYER/DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Buffy and the others sit around the table, Buffy nearest the foyer, Xander with his back to the
kitchen. They all look a little tired… and wired.
The first slayer… wow.
Not big with the socialization.
Or the floss…
Somehow, our joining with Buffy and
invoking the essence of the Slayer’s
power was an affront to the source of
You know, you coulda brought that up
before we did it.
I did! I said there could be dire
Yeah, but you say that about everything.
Joyce enters from upstairs.
I’m guessing I missed some fun.
The spirit of the first Slayer tried
to kill us in our dreams.
Oh. You want some hot chocolate?
A chorus of:
Yes please — that sounds nice —
Xander turns to her and, suddenly remembering his dream, becomes quite uncomfortable.
Yes? What, Joyce — dyeh, Buffy’s mom?
Will you be my kitchen buddy again?
Help me carry?
Yes. Sure. Buffy’s mom.
She exits. Giles looks at Buffy, who seems pensive.
You all right?
Yeah, I just… I think I might jump
in the shower.
You do seem a bit…
Yeah. I guess… the first Slayer.
I never really thought about… it
was just intense. I guess you guys
got a taste of that, huh?
Yeah, from now on, you keep your
slayer friends out of my dreams, is
She’s not good for the sleeping.
Buffy rises, saying as she heads upstairs:
Yeah, well at least you all didn’t
dream about that guy with the cheese…
She exits, leaving the others looking slowly up, at each other, very perturbed.
Don’t know where the Hell that came from…
INT. BUFFY’S UPSTAIRS HALL – CONTINUING
Buffy reaches the top of the stairs, heads for the bathroom, stops, goes towards her room.
INT. BUFFY’S BEDROOM – CONTINUING
Buffy enters, stands in the doorway. The lights are off, but she can see okay.
ANGLE: THE BED
Quiet and neat.
Buffy regards it, regards the room. We hear:
You think you know. What’s to come,
what you are… You haven’t even begun.
Buffy stands a moment longer, looking into the dark.
She leaves. For a beat, we hold on the empty room.
END OF SHOW
Note: This episode was unusual in that they showed “Previously on Buffy…”
and then went directly into the opening credits, then began the episode
without a commercial break. So the “teaser” came after the opening credits
instead of before.
Shot of Adam.
Buffy: The Initiative created this thing and they can’t stop it, but we will.
Giles Voiceover: Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer…
Overhead shot of Willow, Giles, and Xander doing the spell in “Primeval.”
Willow Voiceover: Power of the slayer and all who wield it, last to ancient
first, we invoke thee.
Giles lighting a candle.
Willow: Make us mind and heart and spirit join.
Shot of Willow’s hand laying down a Tarot-sized card.
Willow: Spiritus, the spirit.
Shot of Xander laying down another card.
Xander: Animus, heart.
Shot of Giles laying down another card.
Giles: Sophus, mind.
Shot of Willow holding the last card.
Buffy: And Manus, the hand.
Shot of Buffy with bullets dissolving in front of her.
Buffy: You could never hope to grasp the source of our power.
Buffy reaching into Adam’s chest and pulling out his power supply.
Adam falling over dead.
Guest starring Kristine Sutherland, Amber Benson, Mercedes McNab, David
Wells, Michael Harney, George Hertzberg, Emma Caulfield as Anya, Seth Green
as Oz, and Armin Shimerman as Principal Snyder.
Written and directed by Joss Whedon.
BUFFY: Are you sure you’ll be all right? Cause I can be there in the morning.
RILEY: (shakes head) It’s just a debriefing.
(We see they’re at Joyce’s house, standing by the door. Giles is in the
dining room. Willow sitting on the stairs.)
RILEY: They’re not gonna make me disappear, and they’re not pinning
anything on me. I got Graham and a lot of the guys testifying I’m the
reason they’re alive. I might actually get out of this with an honorable
GILES: (eating something) In return for your silence, no doubt.
RILEY: Oh yeah. Having the inside scoop on the administration’s own Bay of
Mutated Pigs is definitely an advantage.
WILLOW: (cheery) It’s like you’re blackmailing the government. (They look
at her) In a … patriotic way.
RILEY: I’ll call you when it’s over.
(He and Buffy smooch.)
XANDER: (offscreen) Dinner is served.
(Xander enters with a bowl of popcorn. Joyce behind him.)
XANDER: And my very own recipe.
(Willow takes a handful.)
WILLOW: Ooh, you pushed the button on the microwave that says “popcorn”?
XANDER: (shakes head) Actually, I pushed “defrost,” but, um, Joyce was
there in the clinch.
RILEY: Well, you guys have fun tonight. (Extends his hand to Joyce) It was
very nice meeting you.
JOYCE: (shakes his hand) It was nice meeting you … finally.
(Riley leaves. Buffy shuts the door behind him. We see Joyce is holding a
bowl of peanuts.)
JOYCE: (to Buffy) Did you notice how pointedly I said “finally”?
BUFFY: (innocent face) No.
(They all go into the living room.)
XANDER: Let the vid-fest begin.
GILES: (to Joyce) You sure you won’t join us?
JOYCE: No, you guys have your fun. (Buffy and Willow sit on the sofa,
Xander on the floor) I’m tired. I can’t believe you’re not exhausted. Have
you even slept since…
GILES: Still feel a little bit too wired.
WILLOW: Mm. Yeah, that spell, that was, that was powerful.
BUFFY: Don’t think I could sleep.
(We see Buffy and Willow curling up on the sofa with blankets over them.)
XANDER: Well, we got plenty of vids. And I’m putting in a preemptive bid
for “Apocalypse Now,” huh? (Holds up the video)
WILLOW: (scowls) Did you get anything less heart-of-darkness-y?
(Joyce smiles, puts down bowl)
XANDER: Apocalypse Now is a gay romp! It’s the feel-good movie of whatever
year it was.
BUFFY: (not buying it) What else?
(Joyce and Giles exchange a smile and she heads for the stairs.)
XANDER: Don’t worry. Got plenty of chick-and-British-guy flicks too. These
puppies should last us all night.
(Shot of Joyce smiling at them as she climbs the stairs.)
(Shot of a hand putting a tape in the VCR and pressing Play.)
(Pan up to the TV screen. The FBI warning comes up.)
(Shot of Giles, Buffy, Willow, and Xander fast asleep in their seats.)
(The four still asleep. Giles in a chair, Buffy and Willow on the sofa,
Xander on the floor. Zoom in slowly on Willow, clutching a red blanket
(Fade to Tara’s face. She appears to be lying on her stomach, resting chin
on crossed arms. We see a bare shoulder.)
TARA: I think it’s strange. I mean, I think I should worry that we haven’t
found her name.
WILLOW: Who, Miss Kitty?
(Shot of their kitten, playing with a ball of red yarn in slow-motion.)
TARA: You’d think she’d let us know her name by now.
WILLOW: She will. (Looking down at Tara) She’s not all grown yet.
TARA: You’re not worried?
WILLOW: I never worry here. (Smile) I’m safe here.
TARA: You don’t know everything about me.
WILLOW: Have you told me your real name?
TARA: Oh, you know that.
(Willow smiles, reaches for something.)
(Shot of a paintbrush dipping into ink jars.)
TARA: They will find out, you know.
(Shot of Willow’s face.)
TARA: About you.
WILLOW: Don’t have time to think about that. (Frown) You know I have all
this homework to finish.
(The camera pulls back so we can see Tara is lying face-down on her bed,
naked, and Willow is painting on her back.)
TARA: Are you gonna finish in time for class?
WILLOW: I can be late.
TARA: But you’ve never taken drama before.
(Shot of Willow dipping the paintbrush again, moving it across to Tara’s
back, which is covered with Greek symbols.)
TARA: Might miss something important.
WILLOW: I don’t wanna leave here.
(Tara twists back to look at her.)
TARA: Why not?
(Willow stands up, looking down at Tara. She turns away toward a dark red
curtain. Walks over to it.)
WILLOW: It’s so bright.
(Pulls back the curtain to reveal a brightly sunlit desert. The light falls
on Tara, who looks over.)
WILLOW: (looking back at Tara, still holding the curtain open) And there’s
something out there.
(Shot of the desert, straggly plants, rocks. We briefly see something
(someone?) moving, then it’s gone.)
(Shot of the kitten stalking forward toward the camera, in slow-motion.)
(Cut to Willow walking down the halls of Sunnydale High, looking anxious.
She walks up to Xander and Oz.)
WILLOW: (casual) Hey, guys. (Keeps walking)
OZ: Heard you’re taking drama. (The guys walk after her)
OZ: It’s a tough course.
WILLOW: You took it? (Walks up to a locker, starts trying to open it)
OZ: Oh, I’ve been here forever.
XANDER: So whatcha been doin’? Doing spells? (To Oz) She does spells with Tara.
OZ: Yeah, I heard about that.
(Willow still trying to open the locker.)
WILLOW: (anxious) I’m gonna be late. (Walks off)
XANDER: Sometimes I think about two women doing a spell … and then I do a
spell by myself.
(Oz looks at him. Xander looks at Oz, then quickly away.)
(Cut to Willow entering the backstage area. Costumes hanging on a rack.
People getting into costume. Makeup table with mirrors. Sound of an
orchestra tuning up. People wearing all kinds of different costumes. Willow
walks around looking lost.)
(Harmony runs up to her. She’s dressed as a Swedish Milkmaid with two braids.)
HARMONY: Isn’t this exciting? Our first production! I can’t wait till our
scene! I love you! Oh! (Hugs Willow. Suddenly drops the fake friendly act.)
Don’t step on my cues.
(We see Buffy peeking out through the curtain at the audience. She runs
over to Willow and Harmony. She’s dressed as the lead character in
“Chicago”: short straight black hair, short tight black dress.)
BUFFY: Ohmigod. The place is packed. Everybody’s here! Your whole family’s
in the front row, (cheerful) and they look really angry.
WILLOW: There’s a production?
HARMONY: (rubbing Willow’s shoulders) Oh, somebody’s got stage fright.
WILLOW: Isn’t this the first class?
(Riley approaches, dressed as a cowboy.)
RILEY: Well, you showed up late, or you’d have a better part. (Smiling) I’m
BUFFY: (to Willow) Your costume is perfect. (Whispers) Nobody’s gonna know
the truth. You know, about you.
WILLOW: (bemused) Costume?
BUFFY: (pouting) You’re already in character! Oh, I shoulda done that!
(Stomps foot, turns away)
WILLOW: But how come there’s – I mean, I was given to understand that a
drama class would have, you know … drama class. I mean, we haven’t even
HARMONY: (snorts) Well, maybe some people haven’t. (Smiles up at Riley)
RILEY: I showed up on time, so I got to be Cowboy Guy. (Harmony nods)
WILLOW: (to Buffy) I just think it’s really early to be putting on a play.
I, I don’t even know what… (Eyes widen) This isn’t Madame Butterfly, is
it, because I have a whole problem with opera.
GILES: (offscreen) All right, everyone! (Buffy looks excited. Sound of
Giles clapping hands for attention) Pay attention! (Everyone gathers around
Giles) In just a few moments that curtain is going to open on our very
first production. Now, everyone that Willow’s ever met … is out in that
audience, including all of us. That means we have to be perfect. (Shot of
Willow looking upset) Stay in character, (Willow sees something hairy
behind a prop. She stares) remember your lines, and energy energy energy,
especially in the musical numbers!
(Shot of Buffy looking really excited.)
WILLOW: (whispering) Did anyone see that?
GILES: Acting is not about behaving, it’s about hiding. The audience wants
to find you, (We see Harmony behind him, wearing vampire face, grabbing his
shoulders and trying to bite him) strip you naked, and eat you alive, so
hide. (to Harmony) Stop that. (She stops)
GILES: Now, costumes, sets, um, the things that you, uh, you know, uh, you,
um… (Shot from above. We see the cast gathered, Harmony still jumping up
behind Giles trying to bite him) you hold them, you touch them, uh, use
GILES: Yes! (Points at Riley) It’s all about subterfuge. (To Harmony)
That’s very annoying. (To everyone) Now go on out there, lie like dogs, and
have a wonderful time. (Shot of Riley looking excited) Now, if we can stay
in focus, keep our heads, and if Willow can stop stepping on everyone’s
cues, (shot of Willow looking anxious) I know this’ll be the best
production of “Death of a Salesman” we’ve ever done. (To Harmony) Stop it.
(Loudly) Good luck everyone! Break a leg! (Pushes through them and leaves)
(Excited chatter. Willow frowns.)
(Sound fades out. We still see the costumed students chattering and moving
around, but it’s silent. Willow walks through the crowd looking confused.
To the side, in the darkness, she sees a bald man wearing glasses.)
BALD MAN: (whispers) I’ve made a little space for the cheese slices.
(He shows her a table with slices of American cheese laid neatly in a row.)
(Willow frowns. Eerie music starts up. Willow walks past a curtain. She’s
in a narrow tunnel made of red stage curtains on either side. She walks
slowly through it. Creepy music. It’s dark. Then Willow walks into a beam
of light, and Tara is there.)
TARA: Things aren’t going very well.
WILLOW: (agitated) No! This drama class is just … I think they’re really
not doing things in the proper way, and now I’m in a play and my whole
family’s out there, and … why is there a cowboy in “Death of a Salesman”
TARA: (frowns) You don’t understand yet, do you?
(Willow frowns, looks around.)
WILLOW: (whispers) Is there something following me?
WILLOW: Well, what, uh, what should I do? The, the play’s gonna start soon,
and I don’t even know my lines.
TARA: The play’s already started. That’s not the point.
(Willow looks alarmed)
(Cut to the stage. Riley on the left with hands on his belt. In the middle,
Harmony wearing a yoke with buckets on either end. On the right, Buffy
reclining seductively on a sofa.)
RILEY: (swaggers forward, pushes up cowboy hat) Why, hello, little lady.
Can I hold those milk pails for you? (Laughter from audience)
HARMONY: Why thank you, but they’re not very heavy. (Overacting) Why have
you come to our lonely small town, which has no post office and very few
RILEY: I’ve come looking for a man. (Looks directly into camera) A salesman.
(Cut to Willow looking anxious.)
TARA: (offscreen) Everyone’s starting to wonder about you. The real you. If
they find out, they’ll punish you, I … I can’t help you with that.
WILLOW: Well, what should I … what’s after me? Is it something I-I was
supposed to do? W-was I supposed to-
TARA: Shh. (Looking around)
(Willow looks around. Hears a buzzing noise.)
WILLOW: (whispers) What was that?
(Tara looks worried.)
(Cut to stage. Riley in the foreground facing the audience. Buffy in the
middle ground facing Riley. Harmony in the background, sitting on the sofa,
BUFFY: (with contempt) But what else could I expect from a bunch of
low-rent, no-account hoodlums like you? Hoodlums, yes, I mean you and your
friends, your whole sex, throw ’em in the sea for all I care, throw ’em in
and wait for the bubbles, men with your groping and spitting all groin no
brain three billion of you passing around the same worn-out urge. Men! With
your … sales!
(She says all this in one breath without pause or inflection. Harmony sobs
throughout and Riley stands expressionless.)
(Cut to Willow looking over her shoulder. She turns back and Tara is gone.)
WILLOW: (looking scared, whispers) Tara? Tara, okay, this really isn’t fu-
(A stake or dagger slashes through the curtain right by her face. She
gasps, turns away. A hand covered in rags reaches out of the other curtain,
tries to grab her. She’s knocked to the floor. She screams and covers her
head with her hands. Another hand reaches for her.)
(Buffy leaning through the curtains to grab her.)
WILLOW: Buffy! Oh god.
BUFFY: Come on. (Helps her up and through the curtain. They’re in a
Sunnydale High classroom.)
BUFFY: Stay low. (They crouch down and creep between the desks) What did it
WILLOW: I don’t know. I-I don’t know what’s after me.
BUFFY: Well, you must have done something. (Frowning in disapproval)
WILLOW: No. I never do anything. I’m very seldom naughty. I, I just came to
class, and, and the play was starting.
BUFFY: (straightens up) Play is long over. (Stares at Willow) Why are you
still in costume?
WILLOW: Okay, still having to explain wherein this is just my outfit.
(Gesturing to her clothes)
BUFFY: Willow, everybody already knows. Take it off.
WILLOW: No. No. (Looks around nervously) I need it.
(Buffy rolls her eyes.)
BUFFY: Oh, for god’s sake, just take it off.
(Spins Willow around and rips her clothes off.)
BUFFY: That’s better. It’s much more realistic.
(Suddenly all the desks have students in them. Buffy turns and goes to take
HARMONY: See? Isn’t everybody very clear on this now?
(We see Anya sitting next to Harmony, giggling. The whole class is giggling.)
(Shot of Willow in her nerdy schoolgirl outfit and long straight hair from
BTVS first season. Holding some paper.)
ANYA: My god, it’s like a tragedy.
(Shot of Buffy looking at Willow.)
OZ: (to Tara) I tried to warn you. (Gives Willow a disgusted look)
ANYA: (still giggling) It’s exactly like a Greek tragedy. There should only
(Willow looks around the room nervously, looks down at her paper.)
WILLOW: (licks lips) My book report. This summer I, I read “The Lion, the
Witch and the Wardrobe.”
XANDER: (loudly, to ceiling) Oh, who cares?
(Willow looks hurt. Sound of giggling. Shot of Oz nuzzling Tara’s cheek
while she giggles.)
WILLOW: This book ha-has many themes…
(Something bursts onscreen and knocks Willow down. She screams.)
(Shot of Buffy putting her head down on her arms on the desk, looking
bored. Sound of Willow screaming and the attacker growling.)
WILLOW: Help! Help me!
(Shot of Xander looking bored.)
(Shot of Oz and Tara giving each other conspiratorial smiles.)
WILLOW: Help me!
(Growling noise continues as Willow struggles. The creature/person
attacking Willow has dark skin and long matted dark hair, and is wrapped in
rags. It bends as if to bite her neck. Closeup of Willow’s face with the
dark hair half-obscuring it. Her eyes widen. The skin on her face wrinkles
and her eyes cloud.)
(Cut to the real Willow on the couch, asleep, still covered with the red
blanket, twitching and making noises as if choking.)
(Willow still twitching and gasping for air. Pan down to Xander who
suddenly sits up.)
XANDER: I’m awake. I’m good. Did I miss anything? (Looks at Willow, who’s
still asleep and twitching)
GILES: (eating popcorn) Not very much at all really.
BUFFY: (eating popcorn) Bunch of massacring.
(Xander looks at TV, raises eyebrows.)
(On TV, a soldier carrying a gun walks through a forest.)
TV SOLDIER: We gotta keep going, men. (Panting) We gotta take that hill.
(Xander looks interested) Damn this war!
GILES: I have to say, I really feel that “Apocalypse Now” is overrated.
XANDER: No, no. (Points at screen) It gets better.
TV SOLDIER: Men…
XANDER: I remember that it gets better.
TV SOLDIER: Oh my god. What’s happened to my men? Ahhh!
(Buffy looks bored.)
BUFFY: Want some corn? (Holds out bowl to Xander)
XANDER: (turns head) Butter flavor?
BUFFY: New car smell.
XANDER: Cool. (Leans across Willow to take a handful) What’s her deal?
BUFFY: Big faker.
GILES: (still looking at TV) Oh, I’m beginning to understand this now. It’s
all about the journey, isn’t it?
(Xander rolls his eyes.)
XANDER: Well, thanks for making me have to pee. (Gets up)
BUFFY: You don’t need any help with that, right?
XANDER: (heading for stairs) Got a system.
(Xander climbs the stairs. He emerges in the upper hallway. Joyce appears
behind him, wearing a revealing red nightie.)
XANDER: Hey Joyce. Mrs. Summers. (Takes a step closer) We’re not making too
much noise down there, are we?
JOYCE: Oh, no. Anyway, they all left a while ago.
XANDER: Oh, I should probably go catch up.
JOYCE: (grins) I’ve heard that before.
XANDER: I move pretty fast. You know, a man’s always after-
XANDER: (shrugs) I’m a conquistador.
(Pan across Joyce’s breasts.)
JOYCE: (we see her face and hear her voice, but her lips aren’t moving) You
sure it isn’t comfort?
XANDER: I’m a comfortador also.
JOYCE: (leans seductively against the door frame) I do know the difference.
I’ve learned about boys.
XANDER: That’s cool about you.
(Shot of Joyce giving him a seductive look.)
(Shot of Xander staring at her.)
JOYCE: (offscreen) It’s very late.
(Shot of Joyce. Again we hear her voice although her lips don’t move)
JOYCE: Would you like to rest for a while?
(Pan over to her bed with the covers turned down. Xander looks from it to her.)
XANDER: Um, yeah. (Confidently) I’d like you. I’m just … gonna go to the
JOYCE: Don’t get lost. (Slinks into her room.)
(Xander enters the bathroom, closes the door, lifts the toilet lid, unzips
his pants. Suddenly he looks over and sees a lab full of a whole bunch of
Initiative people watching him: scientists in white coats in the
foreground, writing on clipboards, soldiers in the background wearing
fatigues. Xander raises his eyebrows, zips his pants back up.)
XANDER: Okay, I’m gonna find another bathroom.
(Opens the door and leaves, still watching them over his shoulder. Crosses
the hall and goes through the opposite door. Now he’s in his basement,
dark. The door at the top of the stairs is closed, doorknob rattling
XANDER: (loudly) I didn’t order any vampires.
(Knob rattles louder and louder. Then we hear pounding on the door.)
XANDER: (nervous) That’s not the way out. (Backing away)
(Cut to a playground, daylight. Giles and Spike are swinging on swings,
both dressed in Giles-type tweeds. Buffy playing in the sandbox.)
(Xander walks up.)
XANDER: Hey, there you are.
BUFFY: (putting sand in pail with plastic shovel) Are you sure it’s us you
were looking for?
(Giles smiles at her.)
SPIKE: Giles here is gonna teach me to be a Watcher. Says I got the stuff.
GILES: Spike’s like a son to me. (They both smile and continue swinging)
XANDER: That’s good. I was into that for a while, but… (nods toward the
street) I got other stuff goin’ on.
(Long shot of the ice-cream truck surrounded by kids.)
(Closer shot of Xander in the truck, wearing his striped shirt and hat,
serving ice cream to kids.)
XANDER: (in playground) You gotta have something. (Looks at Buffy) Gotta be
with movin’ forward.
BUFFY: (like a proud little kid) Like a shark.
XANDER: Like a shark with feet and … much less fins.
SPIKE: (like a proud little kid) And on land!
GILES: Very good!
(They keep swinging.)
XANDER: Buffy, are you sure you wanna play there?
(Buffy gives him a pouty look like a little kid told not to do something.)
XANDER: It’s a pretty big sandbox.
BUFFY: I’m okay. (Suddenly we see her against the backdrop of the desert
from Willow’s dream. Rocks, sand, scraggly trees) It’s not coming for me yet.
XANDER: I just mean … you can’t protect yourself from … some stuff.
(Buffy looks directly at him. The playground backdrop is back.)
BUFFY: I’m way ahead of you, big brother.
(Buffy looks at him expressionless. Soft music: a woman vocalizing without
(Spike and Giles swinging higher and higher.)
GILES: Go on, put your back into it! A Watcher scoffs at gravity. (They
continue swinging. Woman continues humming.)
(Shot of Buffy still expressionless.)
(Shot of Xander squinting at her.)
(Shot of the other Xander in the truck, watching them.)
(Shot of the four of them from the truck-Xander’s perspective.)
(Truck-Xander pulls back from the window, goes to the wheel, although the
truck is already in motion: tree-lined streets going by. Anya is sitting in
the passenger seat doing something with her hands.)
(Xander sits in the driver’s seat. Anya looks at him.)
ANYA: Do you know where you’re going?
(Xander looks at her, surprised.)
ANYA: I’ve been thinking about getting back into vengeance.
(We see her playing with a lollipop in its wrapper.)
(Xander takes his striped hat off, puts it on the dashboard.)
XANDER: Is that right?
ANYA: Well, you know how I miss it. I’m so at loose ends since I quit. I
think this is going to be a very big year for vengeance.
XANDER: But … isn’t vengeance kind of … vengeful?
ANYA: (petulant) You don’t want me to have a hobby.
XANDER: Not a vengeance hobby, no! It’s dangerous. People can’t do anything
they want. Society has rules, and borders, and an end zone. It doesn’t
(He hears giggling, turns.)
(We see Willow and Tara in the back of the truck, snuggling and nuzzling.
Both wearing exaggerated eye makeup.)
XANDER: Do you mind? I’m talking to my demon.
(Shot of Willow in a very short black bustier, Tara in a short black skirt
and very revealing white blouse. Tara has one leg bent and Willow’s hand is
on her thigh. Both have heavy black eye makeup and thick red lipstick.)
(Xander stares at them. Both girls smile seductively at him. We hear Tara’s
voice although her lips don’t move.)
TARA: We just think you’re really interesting.
XANDER: Oh, I-I’m going places.
WILLOW: I’m way ahead of you. (Caressing Tara’s leg.)
(Closeup of Willow and Tara grinning at each other, nuzzling. Willow
whispers in Tara’s ear. They both giggle.)
(Pan down to Willow’s hand stroking Tara’s thigh.)
XANDER: (riveted) Is that right?
(They look at him.)
WILLOW: Watch this.
(Willow puts her hand on Tara’s waist. Tara puts her hand on Willow’s
shoulder. They lean toward each other.)
(Shot of Xander’s wide-eyed face. We hear kissing noises and soft moans.
Extended shot of Xander staring.)
TARA: Do you wanna come in the back with us?
(Xander stares open-mouthed.)
ANYA: Oh, go on.
(Xander stares at her. Sexy music starts.)
XANDER: I don’t have to.
ANYA: I’ll be fine. I think I’ve figured out how to steer by gesturing
(Xander looks at the road, looks at Anya, looks back. Gets up.)
(Shot of Anya gesturing emphatically at the road.)
(Xander walks past the ice-cream-selling window in the side of the truck.
Outside, we see more tree-lined streets rushing by. The girls are gone.)
(Xander walks to the back of the truck, climbs up onto a loft-like thing,
past a big pile of newspapers and other random debris. He shoves a cooler
out of the way, falls down onto the floor in his basement. Looks around,
(The upstairs doorknob begins rattling again. Xander walks forward
nervously. Suddenly there’s pounding on the door too. He looks up, scared.)
XANDER: (yells) I know what’s up there!
(Pounding continues. He backs away, turns, sees the bald man holding up a
plate of cheese slices.)
BALD MAN: These … will not protect you.
(More pounding, growling. Xander goes past the bald man and out the back door.)
(Xander is in the Sunnydale High hallways, but the colors are all weird.
Everything’s purple and green. Weird noises like microphone feedback.
Xander pushes his way past students talking in the halls. Looking over his
shoulder, he can maybe see something through the other students’ legs,
(Giles is leaning against a wall, dressed casually, holding an apple.)
GILES: Xander, what are you doing here?
XANDER: What’s after me?
GILES: It’s because of what we did, I know that. (Takes a bite of the apple)
XANDER: (shakes his head in confusion) What we did?
GILES: Hm. Now, the others have gone on ahead. (Points down the hall.) Now,
listen very carefully. Your life may depend on what I’m about to tell you.
(Giles’ voice changes to a man speaking French. Sounds like the voice on a
tape in a beginning language class. Giles continues talking and gesturing,
but what we hear is the French.)
XANDER: What? Go where? I don’t understand.
GILES: (??) Ce n’est pas le temps pour des jeux. [This is not the time for
ANYA: Xander. (Fake French woman’s voice) Il faut que tu viens avec nous
maintenant. On t’attends. [You have to come with us now. They’re waiting
GILES: C’est que j’ai vous dire. [That’s what I said.]
XANDER: Honey, I don’t… I can’t hear you.
(Anya takes his hand.)
ANYA: C’est pas importante. Je t’escorte. [It’s not important. I’ll take you.]
GILES: Allons-y la. [Let’s go.]
(Giles also takes Xander’s hand, trying to pull him down the hall. A random
guy goes by on a skateboard, pushes Xander down the hall)
XANDER: W-wait! Where we going? Where? (Looks over his shoulder as they
pull/push him down the hall. Struggles.) Hey! (People in the crowd pick him
up. In the crowd we can still see Giles with the apple in his mouth.) Let
go! Hey! (The final “Hey” echoes.)
(Fade to Xander in green army fatigues, hands cuffed behind his back,
moving through a forest. Asian-type music. Another guy in fatigues, holding
a gun, is guarding him. An image of Xander’s face is overlaid over the left
half of the screen.)
(Fade to a dark room lit with red lights. Soldiers bring Xander in and he
kneels. There’s a cot at the right with a person on it.)
MALE VOICE: Where are you from, Harris?
XANDER: Well, the basement, mostly.
MALE VOICE: Were you born there?
(Camera moving toward the person on the cot.)
(Shot of Xander looking toward the cot, a soldier guarding him in the
background. Xander nods.)
VOICE: I walked by your guidance counselor’s office one time.
(The person sits up partway and we see it’s Principal Snyder, with a towel
around his neck.)
SNYDER: A bunch of you were sitting there … waiting to be shepherded.
(Xander looks confused, alarmed.)
SNYDER: I remember it smelled like dead flowers. Like decay. Then it hit
me. The hope of our nation’s future is a bunch of mulch.
XANDER: You know, I never got the chance to tell you how glad I was you
were eaten by a snake. (Suddenly gets an “I shouldn’t have said that” look
on his face)
(Snyder sits up slowly. His face is all sweaty.)
SNYDER: Where are you heading?
XANDER: (shrugs uncertainly) Well, I’m supposed to meet Tara and Willow.
(Shot of hands lifting a wooden bowl.)
XANDER: And possibly Buffy’s mom.
(Snyder’s hands lifting water from the bowl and pouring it over his bald head.)
SNYDER: Your time is running out.
XANDER: No, I’m just trying to get away. There’s … something I can’t fight.
SNYDER: Are you a soldier?
XANDER: (shakes head) I’m a comfortador.
(Snyder leans forward so his face is illuminated.)
SNYDER: (contemptuous) You’re neither. You’re a whipping boy. Raised by
mongrels and set on a sacrificial stone.
XANDER: (nods) I’m getting a cramp.
(He stands, looks around. He’s somewhere else. Around a corner we see the
same dark-haired person/creature that previously attacked Willow. It’s
crawling or crouching behind a trellis. It growls. Xander backs away. We
see he’s in the courtyard outside Giles’ apartment. He runs to Giles’ door,
opens it, enters.)
XANDER: Giles, it’s here!
GILES: It’s more serious than we thought.
(We see Giles and Buffy and Anya looking at Willow, who’s in a chair still
gasping and choking. They all ignore Xander. We hear what sounds like
BUFFY: I can fight anything. Right?
ANYA: Maybe we should slap her.
(Xander runs past them, down the hall that should lead to Giles’ kitchen,
but instead he comes out in Buffy’s dorm. Students walking around,
chattering. Harsh, jangly rock music with the helicopter noise as the
percussion. Xander goes through the hallways and into Buffy and Willow’s room.)
(Hears growling behind him. He yanks open the closet door and goes in.
Fights his way past the clothes and is in a dark room, horizontal-striped
light like it’s coming through Venetian blinds. He runs through dark
brick-lined hall, comes out in his basement again. Stops, looks around. The
music slowly fades out. There’s still pounding on the upstairs door and the
knob rattling. He goes toward it, up a couple of stairs, shaking his head.)
XANDER: (whispers) That’s not the way out. (The door bursts open. Xander
looks down at himself, then back up the stairs.)
VOICE: What the hell is wrong with you?
(Xander looks chastised.)
(We see a man silhouetted in the doorway above. It’s Xander’s dad.)
DAD: You won’t come upstairs? What are you … ashamed of us? Your mother’s
crying her guts out!
XANDER: You don’t understand.
DAD: No. You don’t understand. (Starts down the stairs, stomping angrily)
The line ends here with us, and you’re not gonna change that.
(Xander looking down, unable to look at his dad.)
DAD: You haven’t got the heart.
(Suddenly Dad shoves his hand into Xander’s chest. Xander looks down. The
hand is covered with rags. He looks up, scared. We get a brief glimpse of a
pair of feral eyes surrounded by dark stringy hair. Grey skin. The person
(The hand pulls Xander’s heart out of his chest.)
(Cut to the real Xander writhing and gasping in his sleep on the floor. Pan
across to Giles sleeping in the chair. Zoom in on Giles’ face.)
(A pocket watch on a chain, swinging back and forth in front of a chest
wearing Giles’ tweedy conservative clothes.)
GILES VOICEOVER: You have to stop thinking.
(Fade to Buffy’s face, looking pleased. The reflection of the watch moves
across her face.)
GILES VOICEOVER: Let it wash over you.
BUFFY: Don’t you think it’s a little old-fashioned?
GILES: This is the way women and men have behaved since the beginning…
(We see Giles’ apartment, with no furniture except one chair, which Buffy
is sitting on. Giles stands in front of her with the pocket watch.)
GILES: …before time. Now look into the light.
(Shot of the watch swinging.)
(Shot of Buffy’s face. Suddenly she bursts out laughing.)
(Cut to a park at night. A hedge cut into the shape of an elephant, covered
with Christmas-lights. People walking around. We hear a circus huckster
(Buffy wearing overalls and pigtails, pulling Giles by the hand.)
BUFFY: Come on! Come on!
(We see Olivia walking beside Giles, pushing a baby carriage. But there’s
no baby in it.)
BUFFY: We’re gonna miss all the good stuff.
OLIVIA: Does she always want to train this badly?
GILES: Well, it appears she’s never heard the fable about patience.
(Buffy pulls them through crowds of people. Carnival booths, colorful lights.
OLIVIA: Which one is that?
GILES: The, the one about the fox, and the, uh, less patient fox.
BUFFY: (stops in front of a game booth) Here, I want to, I want to!
(Jumping up and down)
GILES: Yes, go ahead.
BUFFY: (turns to the booth. There’s a big coffin with a fake-looking
vampire standing behind it.)
VAMP: (bouncing) I am a vampire!
(Buffy throws a yellow ball at it, misses by a mile.)
GILES: (exasperated) Buffy, you have a sacred birthright to protect
mankind. (Buffy turns to look at him, pouting) Don’t stick out your elbow.
(Buffy looks chastised. She picks up another ball.)
VAMP: (bouncing) I am a vampire!
(Buffy throws, hits it right in the chest. It falls backward.)
VAMP: Ahh, you staked me!
(Buffy spins around, grinning with delight. Giles looks unimpressed.)
GILES: I haven’t got any treats.
OLIVIA: For god’s sake, Rupert, go easy on the girl. (Smiling)
(Buffy turns to get some cotton candy)
GILES: (to Olivia) This is my business. Blood of the lamb and all that.
(Looks at Buffy) Oh, now you’re gonna get that all over your face.
(Buffy turns. Her face is covered in mud. The color changes as if a
negative were inverted.)
(The color goes back to normal. Giles frowns in confusion. His face goes
GILES: I know you. (echoing)
SPIKE: (offscreen) Hey!
(Giles turns, sees Spike standing near the entrance to his crypt.)
SPIKE: Come on! (Gesturing) You’re gonna miss everything! (Turns and goes
into the crypt.)
Cut to Giles entering the crypt. Crying noises. Candles are lit all around.)
GILES: Don’t push me around. You know I have a great deal to do.
(We see Olivia sitting on a coffin next to the baby carriage, which is
lying on its side. She’s crying.)
(Black & white shot of a bunch of people with cameras, and Spike looking
past them at Giles.)
SPIKE: I’ve hired myself out as an attraction. (Strikes a threatening pose.
The people ooh and ahh, camera flashes going off.)
(Color shot: Giles staring at Spike, Olivia still crying in the background.)
GILES: Sideshow freak?
(B&W; shot: Spike flips up the collar of his coat.)
SPIKE: Well, at least it’s showbiz. (Poses again. More oohs and camera
flashes from the crowd.)
(Color: Giles moves forward, looks in confusion at Olivia, back in Spike’s
GILES: (very confused) What am I supposed to do with all of this?
SPIKE: (offscreen) You gotta make up your mind, Rupes.
(B&W; shot of Spike.)
SPIKE: What are you wasting your time for? (Pose, flashbulbs)
(Color: Giles turning to look at Spike again.)
(B&W; shot of Spike.)
SPIKE: Haven’t you figured it all out yet, with your enormous squishy
frontal lobes? (Another pose, more oohs, flashbulbs)
(Color: Giles walking across the crypt.)
GILES: I still think Buffy should have killed you.
(B&W;: Spike looks annoyed. He strikes a Jesus-on-the-cross pose. Very loud
oohs, cameras flashing.)
(Color: Giles walking through crypt. The bald man stops him.)
BALD MAN: I wear the cheese. It does not wear me.
(He has cheese slices on his head and shoulders. He slides past Giles.)
GILES: Honestly, you meet the most appalling sorts of people.
(He walks on. In the background we see Spike still in Jesus pose, more
flashbulbs going off.)
(Giles goes through a door and is in the Bronze. Young people talking,
laughing, drinking. The stage is lit, but there’s no band, and we hear no
music. Giles walks over to a couch where Willow and Xander are sitting
looking at old magic books. Giles is suddenly holding a book.)
GILES: I’m so sorry I’m late. There’s a great deal going on. And all at
once! (Goes to sit on a chair opposite them.)
WILLOW: Don’t we know it. Only at death’s door over here, look at Xander!
(She pulls back Xander’s jacket to show his ripped T-shirt and the bloody
stain on his chest from having his heart pulled out.)
XANDER: Got the sucking chest wound swingin’. (Points at it, then at the
stage) I promised Anya I’d be there for her big night. (Giles looks at the
stage) Now I’ll probably be pushing up daisies, in the sense of being in
the ground underneath them and fertilizing the soil with decomposition.
(Shot of Giles’ face in the foreground. In the background, we see Anya
standing on stage in front of the mike, holding some papers.)
ANYA: Okay. A man … walks into the office of a doctor. (Willow and Xander
go back to their books) He’s wearing on his head, um…
(Cut to Anya looking at her papers)
ANYA: Wait, there’s, there’s a, there’s a duck. Is that right?
MAN IN CROWD: You suck!
ANYA: Quiet! You’ll miss the humorous conclusion.
GILES: She’s doing quite well.
WILLOW: Do you know this is your fault?
(While Giles talks, we still see Anya in the background telling her joke.)
GILES: We have to think of the facts, Willow. I’m very busy. I have a gig
myself, you know.
WILLOW: (sighs) Something’s after us. It’s, uh, like some primal … some
(In the background we see Anya doing a funny walk.)
GILES: That used to be us.
XANDER: Don’t get linear on me now, man.
ANYA: And … then the duck tells the doctor that there’s a man, that’s
attached to my ass.
ANYA: See, it was the duck, and not the man that spoke. (Smiles proudly.
(Xander applauds. Willow is still looking at her book. Anya turns and
leaves the stage.)
WILLOW: Rupert. (Giles turns to look at her) You’ve gotta focus. You must
have some kind of explanation. If we don’t know what we’re fighting, I
don’t think we stand a chance.
(Giles frowns, begins to sing.)
GILES: (sings) It’s strange, it’s not like anything we’ve faced before.
(He gets up. Suddenly there’s a piano player and a guitarist onstage,
accompanying Giles’ song. People applaud as Giles walks toward the stage.)
GILES: (sings) It seems familiar somehow. Of course!
(Drums start up. Giles grabs the mike. We see there’s both a guitar and a
bass player. People cheer enthusiastically.)
GILES: (sings) The spell we cast with Buffy
Must have released
Some primal evil that’s come back seeking (removes glasses)
I’m not sure what
Willow, look through the chronicles (Willow nods, reaches for another book)
For some reference
To a warrior beast
(He puts his glasses on, grabs the mike again. More excited cheering as the
GILES: (sings) I’ve got to warn Buffy
There’s every chance she might be next
Xander, help Willow (someone sings harmony on this line)
(Shot of Willow and Xander holding up cigarette lighters while reading the
GILES: (sings) And try not to bleed on my couch I’ve just had it steam-cleaned.
(Shot of people in the audience smiling, swaying, holding up lighters)
GILES: (sings) No, wait…
(Loud feedback. The mike goes dead and the band stops playing. Giles looks
confused. He gets down on his knees and starts following the microphone
cord backstage. He traces it to a big pile of tangled cord, digs in it and
pulls out his pocket watch on its chain.)
GILES: Well, that was … obvious.
(We see the dark-haired creature braced on the wall above him, holding a
GILES: I know who you are.
(Another shot of the creature. Its weapon looks like a stake.)
GILES: And I can defeat you … with my intellect. (We see the creature
approaching from behind) I … can cripple you with my thoughts. (It grabs
his hair, puts a weapon against his forehead) Of course, you underestimate
me. You couldn’t know.
(Closeup of Giles’ face with blood dripping down from his forehead. We hear
his voice but his lips don’t move.)
GILES: You never had a Watcher.
(Cut to the real Giles sleeping on the chair, twitching, dropping his
glasses on the floor.)
(Fade in on Buffy sleeping on the sofa, covered with a green blanket. We
see that she still has the cut on her forehead that she got in “The Yoko
ANYA: (whispers offscreen) Buffy! Wake up!)
(Buffy opens her eyes. She’s lying on her bed in the dorm room, on her
side, facing Willow’s bed. The cut on her forehead is gone. She frowns.)
(Shot of Anya lying in Willow’s bed, under the covers.)
ANYA: (whispers) Buffy, you have to wake up right away!
BUFFY: I’m not really in charge of these things. (Closes eyes)
ANYA: (anxious) Please wake up. Oh please.
BUFFY: (opens eyes) I need my beauty sleep. So stop it, okay? (Rolls over
onto her back)
(The creature is hanging from the ceiling above her. It snarls at her.)
(Cut to Buffy in her bed in Joyce’s house, sitting up startled. The covers
are rumpled around her. She lies back.)
(Cut to Buffy standing in the doorway of the bedroom, looking at the bed.)
BUFFY: Faith and I just made that bed.
(Shot of the bed, still rumpled but now without Buffy in it.)
TARA: (offscreen) For who?
(Buffy frowns, looks to her left.)
BUFFY: I thought you were here to tell me.
(Shot of Tara with her hair up, facing Buffy.)
BUFFY: (looking back at bed) The guys aren’t here, are they? We were gonna
hang out (looks at Tara) and, watch movies t-
TARA: You lost them.
BUFFY: No. (Looks confused) No. I think they need me to find them.
(Shot of the digital alarm clock next to the bed, showing 7:30 AM.)
BUFFY: (upset) It’s so late.
TARA: Oh … that clock’s completely wrong. Here.
(Shot of Tara’s hands holding out the Tarot card “Manus” (the hands). It
has a picture of two hands crossed, one open, the other balled into a fist.)
BUFFY: I’m never gonna use those.
(Buffy’s face in profile. Tara’s face out of focus in background.)
TARA: You think you know … what’s to come … what you are. You haven’t
(Shot of the bed, now neatly made.)
BUFFY: I think I need to go find the others.
TARA (softly) Be back before dawn.
(Fade to a school hallway. Can’t tell if it’s Sunnydale High or the
college. It seems to have elements of both. Buffy walks through the halls
wearing a flowered dress. She speaks to a random guy walking past.)
BUFFY: Have you seen my friends? (He shakes his head and walks on) They
wouldn’t just disappear.
(She looks around, walks down the halls. We see a row of lockers. Suddenly
Buffy notices a hole in the wall. The plaster is torn back, revealing a
layer of bricks with a face-sized hole. She walks over to it.)
(Joyce’s face appears in the hole.)
JOYCE: Oh, hi, honey.
BUFFY: Why are you living in the walls?
JOYCE: Oh, sweetie, no, I’m fine here. Don’t worry about me.
(Buffy frowns, tries to see inside the hole.)
BUFFY: It looks dirty.
JOYCE: Well, it seems that way to you. (Smiling) I made some lemonade, and
I’m learning how to play mah-jongg. You go find your friends.
BUFFY: I, I think they might be in danger.
(Joyce starts to laugh. Buffy looks confused.)
JOYCE: I-I’m sorry, dear. (Giggling) Um, a mouse is playing with my knees.
BUFFY: I, I really don’t think you should live in there.
(Suddenly she looks over and sees Xander climbing up some stairs. Looks
like the stairs leading to the library in UC Sunnydale.)
JOYCE: Well … you could … probably break through the wall. (Buffy walks
toward stairs. Joyce watches her go)
(Shot of Buffy’s feet, wearing sandals, walking slowly down a hall.)
(Shot of two men sitting at a conference table, facing each other, in a
room with high ceilings and plain gray walls. On the left wall is a big map
of the world. On the right, a row of cabinets. There are two empty chairs.
In the foreground we still see Buffy’s feet.)
(Man on the left speaks. It’s Riley.)
RILEY: Hey there, killer.
BUFFY: (offscreen) Riley? You’re back.
RILEY: I never left.
(Buffy’s feet walk closer, as does the camera angle.)
BUFFY: (offscreen) But how did the debriefing go?
RILEY: I told you not to worry about that. It went great. They made me
(Shot of Buffy looking surprised.)
BUFFY: Why didn’t you come and tell me? We could have celebrated.
(Shot of Riley sitting in the chair, wearing a suit.)
RILEY: Oh. (Looks at the other man ) We’re drawing up a plan for world
domination. (Looks back at Buffy, pleased.) The key element? Coffeemakers
BUFFY: World domination? I-is that a good?
RILEY: Baby, we’re the government.
(He swings around in his chair to strike a James Bond-like pose. The
camera shoots him from below, through the glass tabletop. On the table we
see a handgun.)
RILEY: It’s what we do.
OTHER GUY: She’s uncomfortable with certain concepts. (He’s wearing a suit
too, with no jacket.) It’s understandable. Aggression is a natural human
tendency. (Looks at Buffy) Though you and me come by it another way.
(Shot of Buffy with the dark-haired creature behind her.)
BUFFY: We’re not demons.
OTHER GUY: Is that a fact?
(Shot of Buffy. The creature is gone.)
RILEY: Buffy, we’ve got important work here. (Same camera angle on Riley,
the gun prominent in the foreground.) A lot of filing, giving things names.
BUFFY: (looks at other guy) What was yours?
OTHER GUY: Before Adam? (Shakes his head. Suddenly the lighting turns blue)
Not a man among us can remember.
(Buffy looks around at the blue lighting. In the background we see shadows
moving; we hear noises like emergency doors slamming shut.)
COMPUTER VOICE: The demons have escaped. Please run for your lives.
ADAM: This could be trouble. (He and Riley stand)
RILEY: We better make a fort.
ADAM: (nodding) I’ll get some pillows. (Leaves)
(Buffy looks very nervous. Shadowy figures behind her seem to be moving
closer. She looks down and sees her weapons bag lying at her feet. Looks up.)
BUFFY: (gasping anxiously) Wait! I have weapons!
She sits on the floor and opens the bag. It’s full of mud. Buffy frowns,
putting her hands in the mud and moving them around. Lifts her hands,
covered in mud. Brings them up and smears the mud on her face. Reaches in
for more, rubs it all over her face as the colors invert again like a
(Suddenly the color returns to normal and Buffy looks up with her “I’m
gonna kick your ass” expression.)
RILEY: (offscreen) Thought you were looking for your friends. Okay, killer…
(Shot of Riley wearing regular civilian clothes)
RILEY: …if that’s the way you want it. I guess you’re on your own. (Walks
(Buffy’s still on the floor in the gray room surrounded by blue light.
Suddenly a beam of sunshine lights her. She gets up and walks off.)
(Fade to Buffy’s feet walking along a hallway, which turns to rippled sand
like on a beach. She walks past a palm tree and is in the desert from
before: rocks, scraggly bushes, sand. Again we hear the woman humming.
Buffy walks down a hill. The camera zooms out and we can see more of the
same landscape with mountains in the distance. A breeze ruffles her hair
BUFFY: I’m never gonna find them here.
(She looks up and sees Tara far off, walking toward her. Tara has her hair
up, wears a long pink skirt and matching top that exposes a lot of her
TARA VOICEOVER: Of course not. That’s the reason you came.
(Tara fades out and reappears closer, then this repeats. She stops walking.)
(Shot of Buffy and Tara standing about thirty feet apart, facing each other
with miles of desert stretching out behind them.)
BUFFY VOICEOVER: You’re not in my dream.
TARA VOICEOVER: I was borrowed.
(Shot of Tara standing with big rocks behind her. She wears a gold necklace.)
TARA: Someone has to speak for her.
(Shot of Buffy standing with rocks, bushes and mountains behind.)
BUFFY: Let her speak for herself. (We see the dark-haired creature walking
up behind her.) That’s what’s done in polite circles.
(The creature moves around to in front of Buffy and we finally get a good
look at her. It’s a dark-skinned woman with dreadlocks and long sharp
fingernails. Her face is painted with white or grayish paint, lines of
black paint across her eyes, and she wears rags. She crouches low and walks
around Buffy like a wild animal. She looks like a cavewoman.)
BUFFY: Why do you follow me?
(The woman shakes her head.)
TARA: (offscreen) I don’t.
BUFFY: Where are my friends?
(Shot of the woman backing away from Buffy, still crouching down low.)
TARA: (offscreen) You’re asking the wrong questions.
BUFFY: (firmly) Make her speak.
(The woman shakes her head again.)
TARA: (offscreen) I have no speech. No name. I live in the action of death,
the blood cry, the penetrating wound. (The woman straightens up and looks
Buffy in the eye.)
TARA: I am destruction. Absolute … alone.
BUFFY: The Slayer.
(The other woman looks at her.)
Tara: (offscreen) The first.
(Shot of Buffy’s hand, holding a bunch of Tarot-shaped cards. In the one on
top we see a scene of Giles, Buffy, Willow, and Xander in Joyce’s living
room watching TV.)
(Shot of Buffy looking at the card in her hand, with the mountains behind her.)
BUFFY: I am not alone.
(Shot of Tara in the background, the First Slayer in the middle ground, and
Buffy’s back in the foreground.)
TARA: The Slayer does not walk in this world.
BUFFY: I walk.
(Side shot of the three of them.)
BUFFY: I talk. I shop, I sneeze. I’m gonna be a fireman when the floods
(Shot of the First Slayer lifting her chin in anger.)
BUFFY: (offscreen) There’s trees in the desert since you moved out. (The
First Slayer shakes her head) And I don’t sleep on a bed of bones.
(Shot of Buffy’s face.)
BUFFY: (firmly) Now give me back my friends.
(The First Slayer speaks in a very low, hoarse voice.)
FIRST SLAYER: No … friends! Just the kill.
(Shot of Buffy watching her.)
FIRST SLAYER: We … are … alone!
(The bald guy leans in between Buffy and the First Slayer, holding up two
slices of cheese. He grins and shakes the cheese at Buffy, then retreats
BUFFY: That’s it. I’m waking up.
(The First Slayer attacks her, pushes her to the ground and tries to bash
her head on it. African drum music begins.)
(Buffy rolls the First Slayer off her and kicks at her. They both get up.
The First Slayer punches her.)
(Long shot of Buffy falling backward from the punch, slow-motion. No music.)
(Music resumes and the action returns to real-time. The First Slayer tries
to punch down but Buffy rolls to her feet and kicks her in the back. She
kicks again but the First Slayer ducks. Buffy punches.)
(Long shot of the First Slayer falling backward from the punch,
slow-motion. No music. The first Slayer starts to get up.)
(One last drum-beat as the action returns to real-time. The First Slayer
gets up. Faceoff.)
(Shot of Buffy shaking her head.)
BUFFY: It’s over. (Woman humming begins again. First Slayer shakes her
head) We don’t do this any more.
(Drums begin again. The First Slayer grabs her again and they roll down a
sandy hill, clutching each other and rolling over and over as the drums
BUFFY VOICEOVER: Enough!
(Cut to Buffy waking up on Joyce’s floor. She lifts her head and looks
around. Pan across Giles, Willow and Xander sleeping in their spots. Buffy
groans and starts to get up.)
(The First Slayer lands atop Buffy and starts stabbing repeatedly at the
floor with her stake. Shot of Buffy lying underneath the First Slayer,
rolling her eyes.)
BUFFY: Are you quite finished?
(First Slayer pulls her stake out of the floor.)
BUFFY: It’s over, okay? I’m going to ignore you, and you’re going to go away.
(The First Slayer pulls back and Buffy sits up, then stands.)
BUFFY: You’re really gonna have to get over the whole … primal power
thing. (walks toward the sofa)
(Shot of the First Slayer staring at her.)
BUFFY: (over her shoulder) You’re not the source of me.
(She picks up her blanket and sits back down on the sofa next to Willow.
Another shot of the First Slayer staring at her.)
BUFFY: Also, in terms of hair care, you really wanna say, what kind of
impression am I making in the workplace? ‘Cause-
(Cut to the real Buffy waking up on the sofa. The cut on her forehead is
back. She looks around.)
(Shot of all four of them. Giles, Willow and Xander awake at the same
instant. They all sit up and look at each other.)
(Fade to the four of them sitting around the kitchen table.)
WILLOW: The First Slayer. Wow.
XANDER: Not big with the socialization.
WILLOW: Or the floss.
GILES: Somehow our joining with … Buffy and … invoking the essence of
the, the Slayer’s power was an affront to the source of that power.
BUFFY: You know, you could have brought that up to us before we did it.
GILES: I did. I said there could be dire consequences.
BUFFY: Yes, but you say that about chewing too fast.
(Joyce enters, wearing a bathrobe.)
JOYCE: I’m, uh, guessing I missed some fun?
WILLOW: The spirit of the first Slayer tried to kill us in our dreams.
JOYCE: Oh, you want some hot chocolate?
(Everyone says “yeah” or “yes please.”)
XANDER: Yes, what, Joyce? (Nervously) Uh … Buffy’s mom.
JOYCE: Be my kitchen buddy again, help me carry? (Nods toward the kitchen)
XANDER: Yes. Sure. (Nervously) Buffy’s mom.
Giles (to Buffy) You all right?
BUFFY: Yeah. I think I might jump in the shower.
GILES: You seem a bit, uh…
BUFFY: A little. (Pensive) The First Slayer. I never really thought about
it. (Sighs) It was intense. I-I guess you guys got a taste of that, huh.
XANDER: Yeah, from now on, you keep your Slayer friends out of my dreams.
Is that clear?
WILLOW: It’s not good for the sleepin’.
(Giles shakes his head in agreement.)
BUFFY: Ah… (Gets up) Well, at least you all didn’t dream about that guy
with the cheese. (Walks off.)
(The others look up in surprise.)
BUFFY: (offscreen) I don’t know where the hell that came from.
(The other three look at each other.)
(Cut to Buffy emerging from the stairs into the upper hallway. Walks down
the hall toward the bathroom. Frowns, turns, looks into her bedroom. Walks
into the doorway, looking at her bed.)
TARA VOICEOVER: You think you know … what’s to come … what you are. You
haven’t even begun.
(Long shot of the darkened bedroom, with Buffy framed in the doorway. She
slowly backs away, turns and walks out of sight.)
Executive Producer Joss Whedon.