Season 5 | Episode 82 | Out of My Mind

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Episode Summary

The cemetery is deceptively quiet as Buffy gets a bird’s eye view from atop a crypt. Hidden in a new grave, she finds a vampire who she easily slays.

Another one of the undead jumps out from behind her, but before she can dust him, Riley jumps out to help, surprising both Buffy and Riley, who thought they were patrolling different areas of the cemetery. Just as Riley slays the vampire, one more climbs out of another new grave.

This time, both Buffy and Riley are surprised to see Spike appear and attack the new vamp. Buffy inquires about Spike’s anti- vamp activities and he tells her that he just wanted a little violence before bedtime. Distracted by speaking to Buffy, Spike gets floored with a punch.

Buffy slays the vampire and warns Spike to keep out of her way. Spike sarcastically remarks that maybe he should stay home and knit sweaters. Riley adds that Buffy is right and that Spike shouldn’t be around when Buffy is patrolling.

Buffy makes a face at Riley that implies Riley should stay home as well. Spike catches the look and tells Riley that he has knitting needles that he may borrow. As Buffy and Riley leave, Riley tells Buffy that he hopes that he didn’t get in her way.

She assures him that he didn’t but at the same time she isn’t crazy about the idea of him patrolling alone. Spike waits where they left him, vowing that he will one day drink the blood of the Slayer.

At school the next morning, Buffy complains to Willow that between her college classes and training with Giles, she’s working too hard. Willow agrees to accompany Buffy to her training lesson with Giles.

At the magic shop, Giles, Xander, Anya and Tara put the finishing touches on the furniture as Buffy and Willow arrive. Giles and Xander take Buffy to the new training room, and Riley, who hides inside, surprises her with a playful tackle.

Impressed, she takes a look around and thanks them for all of their hard work. Later that night, Spike’s peaceful evening of watching Dawson’s Creek is interrupted by a knock at the door of his lair. A panicked and delusional Harmony rushes in, desperate for a place to hide from Buffy.

When Spike seems surprised that Buffy would be looking for her, Harmony informs Spike that she is now Buffy’s arch-nemesis. Realizing they now have a common enemy, Spike agrees to help Harmony plan the slaying of the Slayer, but will not take part because of the chip in his head.

Meanwhile, Buffy and Riley share an intimate moment in bed. The next morning, Joyce and Dawn talk about school in the kitchen. As Joyce serves Dawn an omelet, she pauses and becomes disorientated, asking Dawn who she is.

Joyce suddenly collapses on the floor and Dawn immediately calls 911. Buffy and Riley rush to the hospital to find Dawn in the waiting room with a doctor. The doctor tells them that they need to run more tests on Joyce but most likely, it’s nothing serious.

While Buffy talks to the doctor, Dawn uses a borrowed stethoscope to listen to the doctor’s heart. She moves on to Buffy’s heart, then to Riley’s. She is surprised to hear a totally different sound coming from Riley’s heart.

Another doctor checks Riley out and recommends that he stay in the hospital after finding that he has an excessively rapid heartbeat. Riley refuses, which worries Buffy. He claims that his heart works differently and that everything is fine.

Buffy reminds him that he is still human therefore still capable of having a heart attack. Just then, Joyce walks into the room, announcing that she is done with her tests and is ready to go home. Anxious to leave, Riley rushes to open the door for everyone.

Back at Buffy’s, Joyce grudgingly rests on the couch as Willow and Dawn baby her. Joyce says that she’s fine and that Riley is the one she’s worried about. Later on, Buffy, Willow and Dawn discuss Riley’s health in Buffy’s room.

Willow says that Riley seems to be in great shape, but Buffy is not convinced. She surmises that if only they could reach the Initiative, it might shed some light on Riley’s situation.

Discouraged, Buffy says that it would be almost impossible to find the Initiative since they don’t exist anymore and they never claimed to exist in the first place. When Dawn suggests saying something out loud in hopes that the Initiative could somehow hear it, Buffy gets an idea and quickly leaves.

She arrives at Riley’s place and finds nobody home. Her hunch is that Riley’s phone is bugged by the Initiative. Picking up the phone, Buffy hears a couple clicks instead of a dial tone. Instead of dialing, she speaks into the ’empty’ line, saying that Riley is in trouble.

Meanwhile, Riley plays an intense game of basketball with some guys at the park. His game is cut short when Graham and two Initiative agents show up. Graham tells Riley that they need to get him into an operating room immediately.

Unconvinced, Riley tells them that he is not ready to be put under government control where they can make him unconscious and naked. Graham tells him that they need to take him to a waiting doctor for his own good whether he likes it or not.

Riley understands that they mean business and fights his way out of it. After knocking out all three of them, Riley takes off down the street. Later, Graham finds Buffy at school and tells her of Riley’s escape.

She begs him to tell her what’s wrong with Riley, and he eventually gives in, saying that Riley’s heart is in trouble, even though he can’t feel any pain. Graham informs Buffy that she needs to get Riley to a specialist who is expecting him at Sunnydale General Hospital.

She vows to get him there. The gang congregates that night at Giles’ shop to figure out where Riley might be. Buffy tells Xander and Anya to check the docks. Willow and Tara offer to check out a burned out school that Riley had once used as a hiding place.

Buffy figures that maybe Riley could be hiding out in the Initiative caves, but she is not very familiar with them. Giles suggests that he has an associate who knows those caves like the back of his melanin-deprived hand: Spike. Disgusted, Buffy reluctantly agrees to deal with Spike.

At Spike’s lair, Spike and Harmony play twenty questions when they hear someone trying to bust open the door. Fearing that it’s Buffy out to get her, Harmony jumps into a coffin for cover. Spike sits on top of the coffin as Buffy finally manages to open the door.

She offers Spike a cash bribe if he can find Riley in the Initiative caves and bring him to the waiting specialist. When he tells her to give him half of the money up front, Buffy tears the bills in half and hands him one of the halves. At the hospital, the specialist asks Graham when Riley will arrive.

He expresses his concern that it might already be too late for Riley. Much to Graham’s relief there is a knock a the door, but when he opens it, it’s not who he expects. Harmony pushes an unconscious guard into Graham knocking him out.

Armed with a crossbow, Spike barges in and informs the doctor that he now has a new patient. Spike and Harmony force the doctor into a medical lecture room on campus.

Spike tells the doctor to remove the chip in his head, and the doctor gives the excuse that he can’t because they are not in a proper medical facility. They threaten the doctor, leaving him no choice. As she explores the empty halls of the Initiative, Buffy finds an upset Riley punching a wall.

She tries to convince him to see the doctor, but Riley tells her that he doesn’t trust the Initiative’s doctor and fears that they will take away his superpowers. He fears that if he loses his superpowers, he’ll be just like everyone else and thinks that Buffy won’t be interested in him anymore.

Buffy tearfully confides to Riley that she loves him with or without his superpowers, and that she needs him and will take him to the doctor no matter what. Riley finally agrees. Back in the lecture hall, Harmony chats mindlessly to the doctor while he tries to remove the chip from Spike’s brain.

Buffy and Riley reach the hospital only to find that Spike and Harmony have kidnapped the doctor. Buffy swears that when she finds Spike, she’ll rip his head off. Meanwhile, the doctor successfully removes the chip, delighting Harmony.

Spike expresses his happiness as well, stating that now he can do what he’s wanted to do for a long time – kill the Slayer. Just as the doctor finishes stitching him up, Buffy and Riley show up.

As Spike informs Buffy about the removal of the chip, Harmony accidentally fires the crossbow, burying the arrow in Riley’s leg. This sparks an all-out brawl in the lecture hall. Spike quickly gains an upper hand on Buffy, but as he goes to bite her, he grabs his head and recoils in pain.

Riley quickly moves to subdue Harmony, but stops mid-punch and clutches his heart. As Riley falls to the floor, Spike discovers that the doctor duped him and did not actually remove the chip. Knowing they have no chance, he and Harmony run off.

Later that night at the hospital, the doctor checks on Riley’s heart and stitches up his leg, telling him that he should be fine. Buffy makes sure that Riley is better before leaving to go check on Joyce. After his recovery, Riley walks down the hall with Graham.

Graham tells Riley that there’s nothing for him in Sunnydale. He adds that Riley once had a mission and now it seems that his mission is only to be Buffy’s boyfriend. As Riley storms off, Graham reminds him that he still belongs to the Initiative.

At his lair, Spike’s peaceful evening is once again interrupted by a visit from a furious Buffy. She tells him that she is going to do something that she should have done years ago and pulls out a stake. Offering Buffy his bare chest, Spike invites her to go ahead and put an end to his torment.

A shocked Buffy hesitates, her stake in mid- air. Unexpectedly, Spike takes a firm hold of Buffy and kisses her ravenously. She returns his kisses but pulls away confused. Both are surprised at their actions and just stare at each other.

Buffy then forcefully grabs Spike and covers him with kisses, telling him that she wants him. In the heat of the moment, he tells her that he loves her and wants her too. Abruptly, Spike wakes up from this dream shaken, sweaty and in utter disbelief.

Shooting Scripts

Teaser

EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT (NIGHT ONE)
The silent moonlit graveyard. All seems as it should: the dead underground and the living elsewhere.
But there, atop a crypt, the shadow of a creature; SOMETHING LIES IN WAIT.
Moonlight illuminates the creature. It’s Buffy, perched like a jungle cat waiting for her prey. She
cocks her head, sensing something. She stands, her large, rough-hewn stake in hand, and then
LEAPS from the crypt, hitting the ground and rolling deftly to her feet. Her instincts lead her forward,
stalking, then running; on the hunt.
Then Buffy stops abruptly. She’s in a new area of the graveyard. There are some empty graves
waiting for coffins and some recently filled. Sensing something, she raises her stake and thrusts it
toward a fresh plot… AT NOTHING.
But just before her stake hits earth, two vampire arms break through. POOF! Her stake penetrates
his chest and he is dusted before he could emerge…
Buffy pivots, just as a nearby grave bursts open and a recently dead vamp begins to crawl his way
out. The vampire is animalistic; extra-muscley and vicious. He SNARLS and ATTACKS.
Buffy deflects his attack with a series of well-placed kicks, driving the vamp back towards a nearby
tomb. She pulls back her stake, preparing to dust… when SOMEBODY DASHES OUT from behind the
tomb, and tackles the vampire out of frame.
The vamp buckles and the renegade hunter is revealed…
BUFFY
Riley!
Riley is surprised (and pleased) to see her, too.
RILEY

Buffy! What are you doing here?

BUFFY
My job…

Behind Riley, the vampire rises again…

RILEY

I just thought you were in the north

sector –
BUFFY
Watch out!

…and in a flash Riley’s on him. He grabs the vamp, LIFTS HIM clear off the ground and HURLS him
against the nearby tomb.

BUFFY
Never mind.

The vamp crumples, woozy. Riley’s there. He straddles the vamp, PUNCHING him in the face. Then
pulls a stake from his back pocket and DUSTS THE VAMP GOOD.

Meanwhile, a second grave erupts and another muscle-bound vamp begins to emerge. Buffy charges
over, ready. She cocks her stake, no stalling around this time, and is about to pierce the sucker’s
heart when suddenly, a blur of platinum hair and dark overcoat comes between them. SPIKE tackles
her vampire. Buffy is left again, all staked up and no one to kill.
BUFFY

Why do I even bother to show up?

Spike begins kicking and punching at the other vamp with erratic zeal. They tumble across the
graveyard.

BUFFY

What are you doing here, Spike?

SPIKE
(between blows)
Same reason as you and your cub
scout, I’d wager. Wanted a spot
of violence before bedtime.

The vamp delivers an UPPERCUT to Spike’s nose. Which begins to bleed. Spike touches the blood
with his finger, tastes it absently. Buffy’s had enough. She KICKS Spike out of the way and dusts the
vamp. She shakes her head at Spike.

SPIKE
What? I softened ‘im up.
BUFFY

Keep out of my way, Spike. I’m not
gonna take this much longer.

SPIKE

So I should do what with my time?
Sit at home knitting cunning sweater sets?

BUFFY

Would it keep you out of my way?

RILEY

She’s right. You shouldn’t be out
here when she’s patrolling.

Startled, Buffy turns to Riley, about to point out that he shouldn’t be here either, but she changes her
mind… she doesn’t want to say anything in front of Spike.
SPIKE

Ooh. I saw that. Looks like neither
boy is entirely welcome. Better take
him home, Slayer, make him stay there.
I got knitting needles he can borrow.

BUFFY

Spike, I just saw you taste your own
nose blood and, you know what, I’m
too grossed out to even hear you
right now. Go home.

Riley and Buffy walk away.

SPIKE

(called after them, defensive)
It’s blood! It’s what I do!
Riley puts his arm around Buffy, squeezes tight. A tiny bit too tight.

RILEY

Hope I didn’t get in the way.

BUFFY

Of course not. I was just startled.
You know, and I don’t love the idea
of you patrolling alone…
RILEY

I’m not much for bench warming.

BUFFY

No, no – you made the squad. You
tossed that vamp like he was a…
little teeny vamp.

She gives him a smooch.

RILEY

You wanna go again? C’mon. I bet
this place is just teeming with
aerodynamic vampires.

Buffy looks around, senses nothing.

BUFFY

Nah, unless we go back and kill Spike
just for the fun of it…

A moment as they consider the notion – then decide against, heading out.
ANGLE ON SPIKE, still standing where we left him, watching Buffy and Riley moving out of sight. His
eyes narrow, menacingly.

SPIKE

I will know your blood, Slayer.
I will make your neck my chalice
and drink deep.

Spike wipes his nose on his sleeve. With a petulant toss of his head and a flourish of overcoat, he
turns and walks deeper into the cemetery.
But his elegant exit is thwarted when he missteps and suddenly falls into AN EMPTY GRAVE.
BLACK OUT.

END OF TEASER
Act One

INT. COMMONS – DAY (DAY 2)
Students mill, talking and laughing lightheartedly. Among them we find two serious faces. Buffy and
WILLOW are obviously discussing something important:
WILLOW

You can’t possibly be arguing that
Marat didn’t betray the French
revolutionaries. This was the guy
who declared the ‘Rights of Man’,
and next thing you know he’s
killing Girondin like it’s going
out of style–

BUFFY

Will. You’re totally missing my
point. I agree that Marat wasn’t a
real martyr. All I’m saying is, the
death in the tub? The neck wound?
All that blood? More fangy than
knifey, okay? So Charlotte Corday
was no martyr either–
WILLOW
Buffy!
Willow grabs Buffy’s arm, a shocked expression on her face.
BUFFY
(worried)
What?
WILLOW
(vaklempt)

Listen to us. We’re arguing. We’re
having a debate about a college
lecture. I’ve dreamt of this day
since forever.

She beams at her friend.

WILLOW
You’re turning into quite the
student. Should I be watching
my occipital lobe?
BUFFY
Your what?
WILLOW

Occipital, the lobe at the back of
the brain. Like should I be watching
my back? But you know, the back of

my brain.
BUFFY

Apparently not. Don’t worry Will,
you still wear the smarty pants in

this family.
WILLOW

I don’t know. You’ve been studying

really a lot.
BUFFY

I try, but they’re already piling on
the reading and of course Giles is
filling in the little corners of free
time with extra training. I’m
starting to think this working
hard is hard work.
WILLOW
Isn’t it crazy like that?
BUFFY

I thought it was gonna be more like
in the movies. You know, inspirational
music and a montage: me sharpening
pencils, reading, writing, falling

asleep on a big pile of books with
my glasses all crooked because
in the montage I have glasses. Real
life is so slow and it hurts my
occipital lobe.
WILLOW
Poor Buffy’s brain.
BUFFY

I actually have to head to training
right now, wanna come with?

Willow links her arm through Buffy’s.

WILLOW

I’m in. Maybe we can argue some more
about the French Revolution as we
walk, huh? Wasn’t Robespierre the coolest?

BUFFY
(shocked)

Robespierre, are you kidding me?

WILLOW
Just gettin’ it going.

INT. THE MAGIC BOX – DAY
CLOSE ON the WHIRRING BLADE of a circular saw. As it slows and spins to a stop we see its
dangerous, toothy edge.

MUFFLED VOICE (O.S.)
It seems the plans worked perfectly.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL: GILES, wearing a voice-muffling painter’s mask and holding a stain-laden
brush. He lowers the mask, smiling at XANDER, who we now see is building a set of wooden shelves.
On the floor lie a series of sketches for the shelves with noted measurements etc.

XANDER

Yeah, blueprints, not a bad idea.
That and getting straight ‘Measure
twice, cut once’. You know for the
longest time I had it backwards.

Messy.
GILES

Well, I must say I’m impressed.

As Xander fits the freshly cut board into the shelves:
XANDER

Carpentry is pretty cool. Did you
know that Harrison Ford used
to be a carpenter?
GILES
They say Christ was
a carpenter as well.
XANDER
(blase)
Uh-huh.
(excited)

But Harrison Ford! Wouldn’t it be
cool if I could meet him, and like,

talk about carpenter stuff? Particle
board and, um, bevelling…

The DOORBELL CHIMES. As we follow Giles to the door we see the full breadth of the Magic Box.
Shipments of potions, artifacts and books clutter the expansive shop. TARA arranges silken pillows in
a corner. ANYA races across the room with a shrunken monkey head in one hand and a fizzy potion in
the other.

ANYA

Who put the monkey head near the Styx
water? Do we want to pick exploded
monkey out of our hair?

She puts down the fizzing Styx water and pets the monkey’s shriveled head, talking to it:

ANYA

Don’t worry little guy. Anya’s not
going to let that mean water hurt you.
The DOORBELL sounds again. Giles opens the door, admitting Willow and Buffy.

BUFFY
Trick or treat.
GILES

Hello you two, come on in.
WILLOW
Thank you kind proprietor.

They continue into the shop.

TARA
(to Willow)
Hey you.
WILLOW
(looking around)
Hey. Oh wow, this place is looking
so great. I feel like a witch in a
magic shop. Ooh, are those real newt eyes?

GILES

No, too rich for my blood, I’m
afraid. These are salamander eyes.
It’s the cataracts which give them
their newt-like appearance.
(defensive)
They’re really equally effective
though. It’s just a matter of
overcoming snobberies.
XANDER

I’m telling you Giles, you gotta set
up a blind taste test, prove once and
for all that generic amphibian
eyeballs are just as good.
WILLOW

I don’t know. If you ask me, the
newt name still means something.

GILES

Buffy. Are you ready to train?

BUFFY
You betcha.
Giles indicates the back of the shop with a nod of his head.
GILES
Shall we then?
BUFFY
We shall then.

They head to the back of the shop.
ANGLE ON WILLOW AND TARA as Willow takes a seat among the silken pillows.

TARA

I just keep thinking how cool it
would be if we could get a real
psychic to set up here and read
fortunes and stuff.
WILLOW
You should do it.
TARA

Not me. But I’d love to just watch
and learn from someone who’s really

good, y’know.
WILLOW

You’re good, I’ll prove it! Here…

Willow puts out her hand.

WILLOW
Do me.

Tara takes Willow’s hand, holds it gently, traces a line on her palm.

TARA
Hmmm.
WILLOW
What do you see?
TARA
Willow-hand…

Tara smiles at it lovingly and they stay like that… just holding hands.
ANGLE ON GILES, BUFFY, AND XANDER at the far end of the shop. Giles unlocks the door to the back
room and steps back to let Buffy in first.
INT. TRAINING ROOM – CONTINUOUS – DAY
Buffy enters. But before she can see anything, she’s suddenly blindsided, TACKLED to the ground by
an unseen assailant. She hits the ground, looks over…
BUFFY
Riley!
RILEY

Just keepin’ you on your toes.

She sits up, gives Riley a bewildered smile.

BUFFY

Or off them as it were. What got
into… oh my God, look at this place.

And we do. As we, and Buffy, see the TRAINING ROOM for the first time in its full glory. She stands,
an amazed expression on her face, and starts to look around. Riley stands by her side.
It’s set up with all sorts of training apparatuses: gymnastics equipment; various bulls-eye targets;
straw dummies; exotic weaponry etc.
There are some things Buffy can’t begin to fathom: strange symbols have been painted on the walls.
Buffy takes it all in, her eyes wide with delight. She turns to Giles and Xander.

BUFFY

Thank you. Thank you so much.

GILES

It’s just a token. You needed a
proper space to train so…
BUFFY
I love it.
RILEY
(to Buffy)

So c’mon, let’s test this puppy out.
Think you can take me?
He feigns a few jabs at her chin. She smiles at him, nonplussed.

RILEY
What’s the matter,
scared of a little competition?
Buffy ignores Riley, examining instead one of the straw dummies.

BUFFY

This must have been so much work.

XANDER
(proud)
I’m the dummy-man.
(realizing)

I mean. I made the dummies. The
things you hit that don’t hit back.
Those, I made.
BUFFY

They’re great. It’s all great.

GILES
You’ve earned it. Truly.
She gives a grateful look to Giles, Xander, and Riley.
BUFFY

Thanks guys, you’re like a fairy
godmother, Santa Claus, and Q all
rolled into one.
(then)

Q from James Bond, not Star Trek.
I’m going go get changed.

As she exits, Buffy deftly LEG SWEEPS Riley, knocking him (out of frame) to the floor.

EXT. SPIKE’S CRYPT – NIGHT
The SOUND of heavy breathing. Someone or something lurks in the shrubbery around the crypt.
INT. SPIKE’S CRYPT – NIGHT
Pale blue light flickers on Spike’s face. We hear MELODRAMATIC SOAP OPERA MUSIC. Spike shakes
his head in anger.

SPIKE

Oh Pacey, you blind idiot! Can’t you
see she doesn’t love you?

PULLING BACK we see Spike is watching his telly.
A BANG! at the door. Spike stands quickly, guiltily turning off the TV. The door flies open and
Harmony enters; her hair uncombed and her clothes unkempt. She slams the door shut, leans
against it, panting.

SPIKE

Well well well. Lookie here.
HARMONY
(wild-eyed)

Is it safe? Has Buffy gotten to you yet?

Her eyes sweep the crypt, paranoid, looking for Buffy.
HARMONY

I saw her patrolling just now. With
a stake! She won’t give up ’til
she’s killed me to death.

Spike moves closer, his eyes on her heaving chest.
SPIKE
(dubious)
Buffy’s looking for you?
HARMONY

Of course. That’s why I’m on the
lam. Didn’t you hear? I’m totally
her arch-nemesis.
SPIKE
(mock-serious)
Is that right. I must have missed

the memo.
HARMONY
(impressed)
There was a mem..?
(realizing)
Oh.
(then)

Spike. Omigod, this is like a real
emergency. I need a hideout so bad.
You’re my only hope. We’re just
gonna have to rise above our petty
differences… Listen Spike, I’m
desperate.
SPIKE
(insinuating)
Desperate are you?

HARMONY
C’mon Spike, pretty please?
I’ll do anything.
SPIKE
Anything will you?
HARMONY
(oblivious)
Yeah, I said I’d do anything…
(suddenly getting it)
Oo-oh. You mean will I have sex with

you. Well, yeah!

He smiles at her, lasciviously. She flounces past, plopping into his chair while pulling a packet of
cigarettes out of her purse. She puts a long, skinny, “girlie” cigarette between her lips and begins the
arduous process of lighting it with a child-proof lighter.
SPIKE
(poker-faced)
Taken up smoking then?
HARMONY
I am a villain, Spike, hello?
She inhales dramatically and begins COUGHING hysterically.
SPIKE

I guess you are, at that. I mean,
with the Slayer on your tail and
everything. She’s not the type to
give up, either. She’ll hunt you
down day and night, until you’re
too tired and too hungry to run
any more and then…

He picks up a handful of dust off the floor of the crypt. He claps his hands together, making a cloud
of dust.

SPIKE
Then that’s you.

Harmony winces.

SPIKE

I think you’re gonna hafta kill her.

HARMONY

I tried. It was all hard and stuff.

You do it.

Spike tries to be patient.

SPIKE

I would love to. But I can’t.
Remember?
HARMONY

Oh right. Guess it has to be me
after all. Can you help with the

thinking?
SPIKE
(generous)
Yeah. I s’pose I could do that.

INT. RILEY’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Riley and Buffy lie side by side beneath the rumpled sheets of his bed. They’re both sweaty and
flushed. Buffy turns on her side to face Riley, her expression beatific. (NOTE: They lie close, but she
does not have her head on his chest.)

BUFFY
Mmm.
RILEY
Yeah.
BUFFY
That was relaxing…

PULL BACK TO REVEAL: The bed is at an odd angle having moved several feet away from the wall.
Buffy closes her eyes and lets out a contented sigh. Riley kisses her ear, whispering into it:

RILEY

You want to relax some more?

Buffy’s eyes open.

BUFFY
Again?! Right away again?

Riley kisses her neck.

RILEY
Maybe you’re too tired.
BUFFY

I have the endurance of ten men.

RILEY

Let’s make it women, okay?
Just for the imagery?
BUFFY

Whatever. Takes a lot to wear me out.

She turns into his arms.

RILEY
Oh, I love a challenge.

INT. BUFFY’S KITCHEN – MORNING (DAY 3)
Dawn kneels on a kitchen chair pouring sugar-coated cereal into four different bowls. Joyce is at the
stove preparing an omelet.

DAWN

Well, wouldn’t you? Every kid tries
to make the substitute cry. It’s
like a rite of passage.
JOYCE

I certainly would not. Being a
substitute is an extremely hard job and…
(she notices what Dawn is doing)
Honestly Dawn, just how many bowls of
cereal are you planning on eating?

DAWN

Oh, these aren’t for eating. I had

to get the extra out of the way so

I could…

She digs, arm deep into the cereal box and excavates a tiny prize. Holding it up proudly:

DAWN
…get this!
(sitting with a thump)
Anyway, I want eggs.
JOYCE

You still want the cereal prize but
you don’t want the cereal. You are

growing up. Alrighty, one half-
omelet coming up.

She divvies the omelet onto two plates and carries them towards the table.

DAWN

With ketchup if you please.

As Joyce approaches the table, she stumbles, her eyelids fluttering as if she got something in her
eye. She shakes her head as if to clear it, bewildered for a moment. She looks at Dawn, truly
confused:

JOYCE

What is the – Who are you?

And then her body goes limp, her arms falling to her sides, sending the plates to the floor with a
SHATTER. Her eyes roll into the back of her head and she COLLAPSES to the floor. Her body
crumpled, her mouth slack.
Dawn is panicking, about to hyperventilate. She grabs for the kitchen phone, jabbing at the buttons.
SMASH CUT TO:

INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY – DAY
Buffy and Riley charge down the corridor. Through the crowd, Buffy spots Dawn. She runs to her and
embraces her tightly. Dawn wears a stethoscope around her neck.

BUFFY

How are you? How is Mom?

DAWN
I’m okay.
BEN

And your mom’s doing just fine.
That from an affable young intern wearing scrubs and a warm smile.

DAWN

This is Ben. He gave me his
stethoscope.
BEN
(to Dawn; mock-stern)
Lent you his stethoscope.
(extending his hand)
Buffy, right? I’m Ben. I’m an
intern here. I’ve had the pleasure
of hanging out with the renowned
Dr.Dawn here while your mom’s
been being tested.

RILEY

So what’s going on? What happened to
Joyce, to Mrs. Summers?

BEN

She’s doing okay now. The doctors
aren’t sure exactly what caused the
collapse. It could have been just a
dizzy spell, low blood sugar, that
sort of thing.
BUFFY

But it’s nothing – Big, it’s not
something bad…
BEN
Very unlikely.

As the three adults talk, Dawn scoots between them listening to their hearts with the stethoscope.
She listens to Ben’s heart which we HEAR instead of the following conversation.
SFX: THE SOUND OF BEN’S NORMAL HEARTBEAT.
BEN

So your mom doesn’t have any history

of fainting?
BUFFY

No, I don’t think so. She’s usually
really healthy.

Dawn removes the stethoscope and scoots over to Buffy. Placing it to her chest:
SFX: THE SOUND OF BUFFY’S NORMAL HEARTBEAT
BEN

I think they’ll be running tests for
a few more hours and they’ll probably
want her to come back in for some
follow-up tests in a couple weeks but
it doesn’t seem like any thing too

serious.

Again ‘Dr. Dawn’ removes the stethoscope.

BUFFY
Oh thank God.
I was really freaking out.

BEN

I think you should be able to take
her home in a little bit.
RILEY

Well that’s definitely good news.

And scoots over to her next patient, Riley. She puts the stethoscope to his chest:
SFX: THE FRANTIC INHUMAN BEATING OF RILEY’S RACING HEART
Off Dawn’s look of consternation we:

BLACK OUT.

END OF ACT ONE

Act Two

ACT TWO
INT. HOSPITAL EXAMINING ROOM – DAY
Riley sits on the examining table pulling on his t-shirt. Buffy stands by his side, tired, worried. Two
doctors stand at the door preparing to leave him.

HOSPITAL DOCTOR
I know I’m repeating myself here,
but I don’t know how else to convince
you. I have never in my thirty-plus
years in medicine let a patient with
tachycardia this severe leave a hospital—

RILEY

You said you couldn’t keep me.

The doctor runs her hand through her greying hair, distressed. Riley slips on his shirt and begins to
button it.

HOSPITAL DOCTOR
Legally, no, I can’t force you to do
a thing. But with that pulse,believe
me I’d get on my knees and beg you
if I thought I could change your mind.

RILEY
(simply)
You can’t. I’m going home.
HOSPITAL DOCTOR
And your friend here can’t convince–

RILEY
I’m going.
HOSPITAL DOCTOR
All right then. But you’re leaving
against my recommendation.

The doctors exit. Riley slips off the exam table and starts tucking in his shirt.

BUFFY

What is going on? Riley, what are
you doing? What if you have a heart

attack?
He puts his hands on her shoulders, commandingly.
RILEY
Listen to me. Calm down.
BUFFY

Me calm down? I’m not the one with

a pulse of 150.
RILEY

My heart’s different than yours
Buffy. It works differently now.
But it’s okay.
BUFFY

Riley, you’re still a human, you

could still have a heart attack–

RILEY

I’m a human who was used as a lab rat

for months–
The door opens cutting him off. Joyce enters with Dawn.
JOYCE
Hi.

Buffy goes to her mom and hugs her.

BUFFY
How are you?
JOYCE

Embarrassed mostly. I’m sorry for
putting you through all this. But no
more tests, so you can take this pin

cushion home.

Riley’s at the door, quick as a wink, holding it open for Joyce to exit.

RILEY
Let’s get out of here.

INT. BUFFY’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Buffy, Willow, and Dawn all attend to Joyce as she lies on the couch. She’s got a blanket over her, a
bowl of soup next to her and enough pillows to feed an army that eats pillows tucked under her
head.

WILLOW

What about the crossword? Some say
feed a cold, I say puzzle it.

JOYCE
No thanks, Willow.
DAWN

I like chicken fingers with mustard
when I’m sick.
JOYCE

I know you do, sweetie. I can make

us some later.
BUFFY

No. Uh-uh. You stay here on the
couch today.
JOYCE

I feel silly lying here like a lump.

WILLOW

You could make a game out of it. A
very quiet game… about being a lump.

JOYCE

But I feel fine. Honestly, I’m more
concerned about Riley than I am about me.

BUFFY

Mom, you shouldn’t even be thinking

about that. He’s not worried, so I
don’t think we should be.

INT. BUFFY’S ROOM – DAY
Willow lies on Buffy’s bed. Buffy paces. Dawn lies sprawled across the carpet, so Buffy has to step
over her each time she paces.

BUFFY

I don’t get what he’s thinking. Why
isn’t he worried?
WILLOW

Maybe he knows his body can handle
it. He is in really good shape.

BUFFY

Nobody’s body can handle a heart attack.

WILLOW
I know. I’m sorry, Buffy. I’m
trying too hard to make it okay.

BUFFY

I just keep coming back to the Initiative.

WILLOW

It does have that icky government

feel to it.
DAWN

Did you know that one time the CIA
tried to kill Fidel Castro with
poisonous aspirin?
BUFFY
Dawn. Please.
(to Willow)

I have to do something. I just have

no idea how.
DAWN
Another time, the CIA–
BUFFY
Dawn.
DAWN
It’s important.

Buffy looks at her impatiently.

DAWN
(quickly)

Tried to make Castro go crazy by
putting itching powder in his beard.
(off Buffy’s look)
What? It’s about the government.

WILLOW
(to Buffy)

Call the Initiative. If they know
what’s wrong with him, they have to help.

BUFFY

Yeah but call them how? A: the

Initiative doesn’t exist anymore and
secondly, they never claimed to exist

in the first place.
(then)
It’s so unfair! It’s like, Big
Brother can spy on you all the time,
but when you actually have something
to say, no one will listen.
DAWN
(softly)

Sounds more like big sister.
WILLOW
There’s got to be a way.
BUFFY

What am I supposed to do, take a tour
of the White House and pretend to get
lost, looking for some door with a
sign reading ‘Secret Government
Monster Hunters, on it?
DAWN

I don’t see why, if they’re really
spying on you all the time, you don’t
just say something when you know
they’ll hear you. Like sometimes I
write fake things in my diary in case–
Dawn notices Buffy is staring at her and SHUTS HER MOUTH.
BUFFY
I gotta go. I’ll see ya later.

As Buffy splits, Dawn turns to Willow.

DAWN
What’d I say?

INT. RILEY’S APARTMENT – DAY
Buffy enters carefully. The apartment is empty. She picks up the phone and puts it to her ear.
SFX: AN ODD CLICKING SOUND — THE PHONE IS TAPPED.
Buffy doesn’t dial a number but speaks into the phone.
BUFFY

Riley’s in trouble. He needs help.

She hangs up the phone. Troubled.

CUT TO:

EXT. BASKETBALL COURT – DAY
Riley and three other men are playing an all-out game of two on two. Riley steals, driving up to the
basket hard, slamming it home.
Then he sees something. There, on the other side of the fence, stand GRAHAM and two other agents.
Graham nods at Riley.

RILEY
(to the players)
I’m out.

He walks through the gate to Graham and the agents.
RILEY
Graham.
GRAHAM

Riley. Can we talk? This is Agent
Goodman, Agent Brown.

The agents nod at Riley. He ignores them.

RILEY
So talk.
GRAHAM

What’s going on, man? We gotta get
this taken care of. We gotta get you
into an operating room.
RILEY

Very convincing. Makes me completely
want to put myself under government
control. Please take me to where you
can make me unconscious and naked.

GRAHAM

You think I’d pull something on you?

RILEY

You’re still in. I’m out. I don’t
know what orders you’re following.

GRAHAM

Come on. You know Walsh pumped all
those chemicals and crap into us.
You got more than anyone. She messed

us up bad.
RILEY

And now the government is knocking
themselves out to kiss it and make it better.

GRAHAM

Riley. I’m telling you, you need
help. I’m not saying it to trick you–

RILEY

Look, maybe you even believe it–

GRAHAM

I know it. I saw guys go through
this. Remember Mason? Finally all
patched up after the fight, then he
got it too. He– I’m sorry, but he’s
gone and it got pretty ugly. You
don’t want this.

It seems to be sinking in.

RILEY

And you’re sure you got the fix for it?

GRAHAM

Yeah. We got a guy, a doctor. He’s
going to take care of you and we’re
going to him now.

Riley doesn’t respond. But he nods several times, thinking. As the two agents step in closer to Riley…

GRAHAM
I’m not giving you a choice.

Riley nods again, seemingly resigned.

RILEY
I guess you’re not.

In a flash, he THROWS A PUNCH at Graham, catching him square in the jaw. A shocked Graham
stumbles back.
Agents Goodman and Brown TACKLE Riley, trying to subdue him. But Riley’s much stronger than they
are. He knocks them away and takes off. Sprinting onto the street and out of sight.
INT. COMMONS – DAY
Graham, looking a little beat-up from his Riley-encounter, talks to an angry Buffy.

BUFFY

So you screwed up and he’s gone and
when are you even gonna tell me
what’s wrong with him?
GRAHAM
I’m not permitted to say…
BUFFY
Say.
GRAHAM

Hyper-adrenal overload and a bunch of
stuff that sounds even worse than
that and it all means he’s way
stronger than he ought to be and
feeling no pain. His heart can’t
take it. We’ve been at him for weeks about it.

(then)

There’s a specialist waiting at
Sunnydale General, fourth floor,
neurology. Get Riley there, ’cause

if you don’t…
BUFFY
I’ll find him.
GRAHAM

I’ll go tell the doc there’s a hold up.

She starts to take off.

GRAHAM
And Buffy?

She turns back to face him.

BUFFY

If you tell me to hurry I’m going to

kick your ass.

Graham shuts his mouth, burnt. He just waves.
INT. THE MAGIC BOX – EVENING
Buffy’s giving the lowdown to Giles, Willow, Xander, Anya and Tara.

WILLOW
Poor Riley.
GILES

Could he simply have gone back to his apartment?

BUFFY

No, not in his apartment; not at the
library; not at the gym. He’s gone
somewhere where he doesn’t want to be found.

ANYA

Basically he’s gone AWOL.
BUFFY
Basically, exactly.
WILLOW
Poor Buffy.

Xander struggles with what he learned in Episode 3: Riley doesn’t think Buffy loves him.

XANDER

Maybe he just needs some time alone.

(awkwardly)
Like I had this friend once who
really liked this girl and he got
worried that maybe she didn’t like
him back and maybe that made him act
like a total jerk and maybe Riley
reminds me of this friend.
WILLOW
What are you talking about?
XANDER

Then again, maybe not. Maybe he just

wants attention.
BUFFY

Well, here’s a hot tip then: You
want attention, be there so people
can give it to you.
ANYA
I care about you Xander.
XANDER
(bewildered)
Thanks.
ANYA
(to Xander)
Don’t be insecure.
XANDER
Thanks, I won’t.
ANYA

‘Cause I also have this ‘friend’ and
I have it on good authority that she
really likes that guy, your ‘friend’.
And by the by, my ‘friend’–

Buffy’s about to lose it.

BUFFY

You guys! That’s enough. Riley’s in
real danger here. Anya, Xander, I
want you guys to check the docks.

XANDER
Aye Aye.
WILLOW

Tara and I can scope out the burnt
out school. He hid there before,
maybe it feels homey or something.

BUFFY

Homey. You know what else might be
homey in a sort of dank, unpleasant,
mostly evil way? The Initiative
caves. But I don’t know them too well…

GILES

We do have an associate who knows
those caves like the back of his
melanin-deprived hand.

Buffy groans.

BUFFY

Oh, I so don’t want to deal with
Spike right now. Guy’s really
starting to bug me in that special,
“I’d like to shove something wooden
through his heart” kind of way.

WILLOW

He does seem a little extra twitchy
lately. I think the not-killing is
getting to him.
BUFFY

And hanging out in that moldy crypt
all day, you just know he’s doing
something nasty.

INT. SPIKE’S CRYPT – NIGHT
Spike and Harmony sit opposite each other.

SPIKE
(resigned)

Okay, is it bigger than a bread box?

HARMONY
(delighted)
No… Four left.
SPIKE

So it’s smaller than a bread box?

Harmony claps with excitement.

HARMONY
No-o! Only three.
SPIKE
(seething calm)

Harmony. Is it a sodding bread box?

HARMONY

Yes! Omigod, someone’s blondey
bear’s a twenty questions genius!

There’s a BANG at the door; someone’s kicking the door open. Harmony goes paler.

HARMONY
She’s found me.

She leaps into an open coffin, which Spike sits atop, crossing his legs just as Buffy enters the crypt.

BUFFY

I’ve got a proposition for you.

Buffy sees the beat-up “BUFFY MANNEQUIN” in the corner, partly hidden behind something. She can’t
quite figure out what it is. She starts to look closer but Spike steps into her line of sight.

SPIKE

Funny, ’cause I’ve got a proposition
for you. What about knocking? It
seems only fair considering we vamps
can’t enter your flat without an
invite that you could at least– say,
look at those pretty pieces of paper.
Spike refers to the FAN OF MONEY Buffy has spread before his eyes.

BUFFY

Riley’s sick with some Initiative
thing and he’s gone missing. I think
he might be in the caves. If you
find him and take him to the fourth
floor of the hospital, you get the money.

SPIKE

Oh dear, the enormous hall monitor is
sick? Tell me, is he going to die?

Buffy SLAPS Spike hard across the face.

BUFFY

He’s not the only one who can die, Spike.

SPIKE

Hey, I’m just saying, if this is
really important to you, then I think
I ought to get half now.
Buffy stares him down. A look of pure disgust on her face.
BUFFY
Fine.

SHE RIPS THE BILLS IN HALF. Then hands him a set of halves. She exits.
Spike stuffs the money in his pocket. Stares forward, thinking. The coffin CREAKS OPEN and
Harmony pokes her head out.

HARMONY

So? What’d she say about me?

INT. FOURTH FLOOR HOSPITAL CORRIDOR – NIGHT
We follow Graham as he nods at the armed Guard standing outside the neurological surgery room
and enters.

INT. NEUROLOGICAL SURGERY ROOM – CONTINUOUS – NIGHT
Dr. Overheiser, a small and nervous older man, glances up from his fastidiously arranged surgical
tools.

DR. OVERHEISER
Any word?
GRAHAM

Nothing. But don’t worry; they’ve
gotta be here any minute now.

The doctor nods, expressionless. Graham notices the lack of joy, gets worried.

GRAHAM

That’s soon enough, right? I mean,
if we bring him in now?
DR. OVERHEISER
I’ll be honest. I’m not sure it’s
soon enough if you brought him in yesterday.

Graham is still absorbing that choice bit of info when there’s a BANG outside the door. Graham moves
to open it.

GRAHAM
Finally.

Graham opens the door. We see a brief FLASH of the Guard’s face, but something’s not right. Behind
him is Harmony, holding up the limp guard by his scalp.
Quickly, she thrusts the Guard’s unconscious skull at Graham. Their heads come together with a
horrible CRACK and the bodies CLATTER to the ground.
Harmony enters with Spike close behind. They strut over the fallen bodies Natural Born Killers-style
He tosses her a NASTY-LOOKING CROSSBOW which she points at the terrified Doctor’s face. She
caresses his cheek with the drawn arrow.
Spike gestures towards the open door.

SPIKE

You got yourself a new patient, Doc.

BLACK OUT.

END OF ACT TWO
Act Three

EXT. COLLEGE MEDICAL BUILDING – NIGHT
Establishing.
INT. OPERATING THEATRE VIEWING AREA – NIGHT – CONT.
Spike, Dr. Overheiser and Harmony (her crossbow aimed at the doctor) enter at the back of the
lecture hall-like classroom and make their way down the steps toward the operating area. The Doctor
is shaking with nervousness.

DR. OVERHEISER
Look, you don’t understand. This is
a complicated neurological procedure.
And I-I’ve never performed it before.

Spike throws open the door and they enter…
INT. OPERATING THEATER – CONTINUOUS – NIGHT
There’s an operating table in the center of the room. Nearby is a steel, rolling tray table with
numerous surgical instruments lying on it. Spike gleefully hops up on the table and eyes the Doctor,
who hangs back.

SPIKE
(to Doctor)
Little performance anxiety, eh?
Butterflies in the old belly?
(looks at Harmony)
Harm, do us a favor. Shoot the nasty
butterflies for the good doctor.

Harmony aims the crossbow at the Doctor’s gut. The Doctor moves in to the operating table.

SPIKE
There you go, Doc. Not so
complicated. Just do whatever those
Initiative lab monkeys did, only backwards.

DR. OVERHEISER
But this is a medical school, not a
proper operating facility.
(re tray)
And these instruments–

Spike picks up a scalpel, holds it up near the Doctor’s throat to examine it.

SPIKE
They look pointy enough.
(tossing it back onto the tray)
They’ll do.
Spike slides himself up the operating table and lies back.
DR. OVERHEISER
You’re not listening. That chip is
deeply imbedded in your cerebral
cortex. Removing it could leave you

a vegetable.
Spike props himself up on his elbows and glares at him.
SPIKE

Not gonna happen, mate. See, I’ve
got faith in your survival instinct.

The Doctor looks at Harmony, now sitting up on a counter, the crossbow still aimed directly at him.

SPIKE

Yeah, you’ll have me up and killing
before the night’s over.

The doctor gives Spike a nervous look.

SPIKE

Don’t worry, Doc. You do me right,
and nothing bad’ll happen to y–

Just then, an ARROW WHIZZES by the Doctor’s head, missing him by inches, and lodges in the wall
behind him. Spike and the terrified Doc turn to look at…
HARMONY, sitting on the counter, looking chagrined.

HARMONY
Oops. String was slippy.

ON SPIKE, rolling his eyes.
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH RUINS – NIGHT
Willow and Tara walk through the rubble, searching. They’re illuminated by soft blue moonlight
streaming in through the large empty spaces where the ceiling used to be.

WILLOW
(calling)
Riley!

No answer.

TARA
This place creeps me out.
WILLOW
(you think it’s bad now… )
Should’ve been here when it was a school.

(calling)
Riley!

They turn into a much darker hallway, getting even pitchier ahead of them.

WILLOW
Oof. Darkness.
TARA

Piles of it. We should’ve brought a flashlight.

WILLOW
Oo. I know. Better to light a
candle than curse the damn darkness.
She rummages through her purse, pulls out a vial of something.
WILLOW
A little spell… “Fiat Lux.”

Willow throws the vial to the floor, breaking it. SUDDENLY THE HALLWAY IS BRIGHTLY LIT from
above. We can’t see the light source, but it’s bright.
TARA
Whoa.
WILLOW
That’s better.
(calling)
Riley! Come on out!

They move now, down the bright hallway, glancing into rubbled rooms on either side.

TARA

How’d you do that? With the light?

WILLOW
You know. You taught me.

TARA

I taught you teeny Tinkerbell light.

WILLOW
Oh yeah, I tinkered with the

Tinkerbell. It was easy. And isn’t
this better than using a flashlight
like some kind of doofus?

INT. INITIATIVE CAVES – NIGHT
A FLASHLIGHT BEAM rakes across the wall. Then Buffy moves into frame.

BUFFY
Riley!
The name echoes throughout the dark tunnel.
BUFFY
Riley, answer me!
(to herself)
Please…

Then, the sound of pebbles and dirt hitting the cave floor. She moves ahead and turns a corner to

find-
RILEY, his back to us, facing the cave wall.

BUFFY
Riley?

He slowly turns to look at her. He’s damp with sweat and breathing hard. Frustrated, he balls up his
fist, turns and punches the wall. Pebbles and debris spill down.
RILEY
(without turning)
You know this doesn’t even hurt.

She moves to him and sees his fist.

BUFFY
Your hand is bleeding.
RILEY
Don’t feel a thing.

He pulls back his fist again to strike the wall, but Buffy catches it. Stops him. They look at each other,
each clearly hurting, upset.

BUFFY

This stops now. I’m getting you to a doctor.

RILEY

The one from the government you mean?
Like the ones who did this to me in
the first place?
BUFFY

He’s the only one who understands
what’s wrong with you. He’s the only
one who can help you.
RILEY

What’s wrong with me? I’m more
powerful than I’ve ever been, Buffy.
Most people would kill to feel this way.

BUFFY

But the feeling’s going to kill you.
Your body wasn’t built for this kind

of stress-

RILEY
(hard)

I can handle it. This is my deal,
Buffy. Just back off.

Buffy, stung, does just that.

BUFFY

What is this? What’s happening to you?

Riley can’t even look at her. Manages.

RILEY

I go back, let the government get
whimsical with my innards again, they
could do anything they…
best case scenario, they turn me into
Joe Normal. Just another guy.

BUFFY

And that’s not enough for you?

RILEY
It’s not enough for you.
BUFFY

When did – why would you say that?

RILEY

Come on. Your last boyfriend wasn’t
exactly a civilian.

Buffy, appalled, shakes her head.

BUFFY

That’s what this is about? You’re
going to die over some macho pissing contest?

RILEY

It’s not about him. It’s about us.
You’re getting stronger every day,
more powerful… And I can’t touch
you. Every day you’re just a little
further out of my reach.

Now Buffy’s hurt starts to spark to anger.

BUFFY

According to who? You want to touch
me? I’m right here. I’m not the one

running away.
RILEY
Not yet.

A beat, then-
BUFFY

So you’ve got it all figured out.
I’m bailing because you’re not in the

super club?
RILEY
It’s human nature-

BUFFY

Don’t psyche 101 me! Not now. Not
after – after everything….
(then/pained)

Nobody’s ever known me the way you do,
Riley. Nobody. I’ve opened myself
up to you in a way that- God, you’re
just sitting back thinking it doesn’t
mean anything to me?
RILEY

I never said that-
BUFFY

(more and more upset)
Well it obviously doesn’t mean
anything to you! Do you think so

little of me-
RILEY

Buffy-
BUFFY

No! Do you think I’ve spent the last
eight months with you because you’ve
got super powers? If that’s what I
wanted I’d be dating Spike.

She is near tears now.

BUFFY

I need you. I need… to have you
with me, healthy and, and… but if
you want to throw everything away
because you don’t trust me, then…
then I’m still gonna make you go to

the doctor.

A long beat as Riley takes this in. Then-
RILEY

Take me to him.
Buffy looks up to him – clearly relieved, but still worried.
BUFFY
(softly)
We have to hurry.

She starts to move past him – he pulls her to him, needing to wrap his arms around her. She resists a
moment, then acquiesces, embracing him.

RILEY
(near-whisper)

Loving you is the scariest thing I’ve
ever done, Buffy.

Buffy looks at him, not sure how to take this. There is tender concern on her face as she briefly
touches his.

BUFFY
I don’t know why.
(then)

We’d better go. The doctor said we
didn’t have much time.

They go.
INT. OPERATING THEATER – NIGHT
CLOSE ON SPIKE, his eyes closed.
WIDEN to find Doctor Overheiser performing surgery on Spike’s head behind a jury-rigged divider.
Harmony comes over, crossbow by her side, next to the Dr..
HARMONY
(to Dr.)

I read in a magazine that some women
think a man’s real sex organ is his brain.
(peering inside his cranium)
Uch. No contest. I mean, look at
it. It’s so pink and wriggly
looking. Can I touch it?

ON SPIKE, his eyes snap open.

SPIKE/DR. OVERHEISER
(together)
No!
HARMONY
(startled)
Omigod! You’re awake?
DR. OVERHEISER
Local anesthetic.
HARMONY

Wow. Spikey! How does it feel?

SPIKE

Like someone’s cutting into my brain
with a knife, you silly bint!
HARMONY
(considering that)
Hmm.
(to Doc)

You know what it means that he can’t
hurt any living thing? It means he
can’t even pick flowers.
SPIKE
What? Yes, I can.
DR. OVERHEISER
Please be quiet.

She keeps mum. Watching, and then she points:
HARMONY

Is it supposed to be doing that?
DR. OVERHEISER

Please! For God’s sake, please be quiet.

HARMONY
Listen, buster, I don’t see a
crossbow in your hands, okay?

SPIKE

Harmony, if your incessant prattling
bollixes up this operation, I’m going
to personally yank out your pink and

wriggly tongue!
Harmony pouts. The Doctor glances up at her, unnerved.
HARMONY
What are you looking at?

The doctor turns his attention back to Spike’s brain.
INT. NEUROLOGICAL SURGERY ROOM – NIGHT
Buffy and a flushed, sweaty Riley enter. The door’s ajar and the armed Guard lies sprawled on the
floor still unconscious.

BUFFY
Uh-oh.

Buffy kneels, checking that the Guard’s still alive, when she hears a GROAN from across the room.
She turns…
GRAHAM, struggling to consciousness, tries to push himself up. Riley and Buffy go to him.

RILEY
Graham?

He holds two fingers in front of Graham, checking for a concussion.

RILEY
How many fingers?

Graham shakes his head, clearing it.

GRAHAM
Seventeen.

Buffy and Riley share a look: Uh-oh, indeed.

GRAHAM

Hostile seventeen. And a blonde girl…

BUFFY

Spike and Harmony. Together again.
As she and Riley help Graham to his feet, Graham looks around.
GRAHAM
Where’s Dr. Overheiser?
BUFFY
(looking)

They must’ve taken him. What do they-

(understanding)
Spike’s chip. They’re going to force
the doctor to remove the chip in his–

(noticing)
Riley?

ON RILEY – Staggering, he leans onto the examining table, as he staves off some spasm of pain, his
breathing quick and shallow.
Buffy moves to him, but he holds up his hand.

RILEY
I’m okay… okay.
He consciously inhales deeply, slowing his breathing.
ON BUFFY as Graham leans into her and whispers.
GRAHAM

We’re running out of time. We don’t
find the medic soon, he’s not gonna

make it.
Buffy shoots him a sharp, desperate look, then thinks:
BUFFY

Okay… Brain surgery on Spike,
they’ll need a medical facility,
equipment, for that, right?
GRAHAM
Big hospital.
BUFFY.

No. They wouldn’t do it here. Too
risky. We should split up. Graham,
get on the pipe or the horn or
whatever you guys get on and check
out local doctor’s offices, animal hospitals…
Graham nods, heads out, then stops and turns when he hears:
RILEY

Graham. About before. Sorry.

GRAHAM
Forget it. Apologize later. If
you’re not dead.

He exits. Buffy joins Riley.

BUFFY
You’re not going to die.

Riley smiles at her, weakly.

RILEY

Bet you say that to all the boys.

She takes his arm and they start out.

BUFFY
(growing annoyed)
Not all. I know one peroxide pest
whose number’s up.
When I get my hands on Spike, I’m
going to rip his head off. I’m

gonna…

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. OPERATING THEATER – NIGHT
TIGHT ON Spike’s face:

SPIKE

…bathe in the Slayer’s blood. I’m

gonna dive into it, swim in it, do
the bloody backstroke.

WIDEN to see the Doctor operating meticulously. Next to him, Harmony, cigarette in hand, leans over
Spike’s brain, oblivious to the smoke she’s blowing into it.
HARMONY
I see it, Spikey! I can see the
chip. It’s nestled in there like a
pretty little Easter egg with your
brain all around it like that green
plastic grassy stuff, only this is
more of a beige–

The doctor straightens and looks at Harmony.

DR. OVERHEISER
Would you please put out that
cigarette? It’s really not allowed.

HARMONY
(all tough)
Oh yeah, sez who?

The Dr. points to a sign posted on the wall behind him: a cigarette icon encircled and slashed through
with red.
Upon seeing it, Harmony reacts immediately.

HARMONY
(earnest)

Oh God, sorry! Didn’t see the sign.

She crosses the room and extinguishes her cigarette.
DR. OVERHEISER
(faint surprise)
The chip’s out. I didn’t think I
could… but it just… It’s out.

The doctor drops something small and metallic-sounding into a surgical dish of some kind.

SPIKE
Yeah?
HARMONY
Yay! Yay for Spike!

She claps her hands in glee.
PUSH IN on Spike.

SPIKE

Right, then. Stitch me up, Doc. Got
places to go. And slayers to kill.

BLACK OUT.

END OF ACT THREE
Act Four

INT. OPERATING THEATER – NIGHT

Spike sits on the operating table, his legs extended, his torso ram-rod straight, his head bowed as if
in prayer.
His eyes are closed; his arms are limp as a puppet’s.
The Doctor is stitching up the back of Spike’s scalp with a needle and thread. Harmony watches.
Spike GROWLS, not going into full vamp face, but revealing his sharp and dangerous FANGS. He
opens one eye and peeks at the doctor:

SPIKE

Listen to me, my stomach’s growling,
I’m so starved. I’m afraid I’m going
to have to have me a little snack.

DR. OVERHEISER blanches, he knows this means him. The Doctor appeals to Harmony with his eyes;
she smiles cutely and gives him a finger waggling wave.
SPIKE
(off the Dr.’s look)
Oh, don’t worry…
(then)

I won’t fill up on the bread, I’ll
still have plenty of room for the
main course.

Just then, the door at the back of the lecture hall SMASHES OPEN revealing Buffy and Riley.
SPIKE turns.

SPIKE
Slayer!

ANGLE ON BUFFY AND RILEY as they register what they’ve found.

THE FOURSOME FACES OFF: sizing each other up. Harmony’s got her crossbow; Riley his hyper-
strength and off the charts pain threshold; Buffy her Buffy-ness; and Spike is no longer crippled by

his chip.
The tension’s high: who will make the first move?
SPIKE
Suit up, Harm.
They morph into their VAMP FACES. GROWLING menacingly.
DR. OVERHEISER tries to slink off. Without taking her eyes off Spike, Buffy reaches out and grabs the
Doctor’s arm. She FLINGS HIM into a corner.
BUFFY

Stay here. We’re going to need you.

THE DOCTOR cowers in the corner, nodding meekly.
THE STANDOFF CONTINUES.

SPIKE

Buffy. I swear I was just thinking
of you. I wanted to tell you the
great news. My head’s all clear now.
No more bug-zapper in my noggin.

BUFFY

That means I get to kill you.

SPIKE
You get to try…
Spaghetti Western-style we see CLOSE UPS as the tension builds:
SPIKE, leering and confident.
BUFFY, her eyes quick and wary, assessing the situation.
RILEY, a twitch in his eye, his whole body tense, veins protruding from his biceps.
HARMONY, her face a caricature of Spike’s, preposterously wicked, her hand on the crossbow trigger.
SUDDENLY, Harmony’s finger slips. An arrow is released and imbeds itself in Riley’s leg. He doesn’t
flinch, immune to the pain.
Yet the gauntlet has been thrown: Riley SPRINGS on Harmony and begins to fight her in HAND TO
HAND COMBAT.
He’s much stronger than her but his condition is taking its toll: His face drips with sweat and each
punch he throws exhausts him further.

BUFFY

Riley, be careful. Your heart!

SPIKE AND BUFFY circle each other warily; two fighters waiting for the moment to attack. Their faces
dark with hate.

SPIKE

Is he your sidekick now? That’s too
cute. You know, you should think
about getting one of those motorbikes
with the little sidecars. Could be precious.

(re: Riley)
Look at ‘im go.

For a split-second, Spike is distracted by Riley.
BUFFY takes advantage, giving Spike a taste of her LEFT HOOK and a quick RIGHT UPPERCUT.
He STAGGERS BACK, chuckling, unfazed. He LEAPS onto the operating table and looms above her,
SNARLING.

SPIKE
At long last.

And then he SPRINGS, falling on Buffy, pinning her down, about to plunge his fangs into her sweet
neck when….

SPIKE
AAAAAAAAA!

in agony, Spike clutches at his head, ZAPPED big time by the still-in-place chip. Buffy DECKS him
with a couple of quick PUNCHES, sending him into the corner with the Doctor.
ANGLE ON DR. OVERHEISER as he lets a weak smile cross his lips.
ANGLE ON RILEY AND HARMONY still going at it. Riley is wet with sweat and the arrow remains
imbedded in his leg.
Riley’s about to take a swing at Harmony when suddenly, he STAGGERS BACK as if hit by an invisible
blow.
HE COLLAPSES. Harmony looks at her fist and then at Riley: did she do that?

BUFFY
Riley! No!

She goes to him where he lies on the floor, his eyes unseeing, his shirt drenched through with sweat,
his body bleeding and bruised, the arrow sticking out of his leg. His chest heaves with his rapid
breathing.
ANGLE ON DR. OVERHEISER AND SPIKE
Spike goes to the receptacle where the chip was supposedly placed. He tips the contents into his
hand.

SPIKE
A penny.
DR. OVERHEISER
(deadpan)
Told you I couldn’t take it out.
ANGLE ON BUFFY by Riley’s side. Feeling his pulse with her fingers.

BUFFY
Doctor! We need you now!
The Doctor sees what has happened and immediately leaves Spike.
He helps Buffy lift Riley onto the operating table. With the others distracted, Spike and Harmony
make their get-away.
EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT
Harmony and Spike run through the gravestones towards home. Spike’s face is distorted by anger.

SPIKE

Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! Everywhere I
turn she’s there, that… that nasty

little face, that bouncing shampoo-
commercial hair. The whole sodding

holier than thou attitude…
HARMONY

Aren’t we kinda unholy by defin–

SPIKE

She follows me, you know. Tracks me
down. I’m her pet project… drive
Spike round the bend. Makes every
day a fresh bout of torture.

Spike stops running, white with anger. He WRENCHES a gravestone from the earth.
Harmony stops, turns to face Spike as he HURLS the gravestone in her direction. it. SHATTERS
against a tomb.

HARMONY
Spike!
Spike comes towards her with his eyes wild.
SPIKE

You don’t understand! I can’t get
rid of her; she’s everywhere. She’s
haunting me, Harmony!

He GRABS Harmony’s shoulders, perhaps about to do some violence. But when he speaks, it’s not
wild, it’s chillingly soft and rational:

SPIKE
This has got to end.

Off Spike’s cold and composed face we:

CUT TO:

INT. OPERATING THEATER – DAWN (DAY 4)
The operation has just ended. Buffy watches by Graham’s side as the Doctor finishes.
ANGLE ON Riley as the Doctor tapes the final bandages.
Riley’s bare torso is bandaged, as is his leg where the arrow gouged him. He looks exhausted, pale
with dark circles under his eyes. But there’s a calm look in his eye. The operation has been a
success.
The doctor gestures with his head for Buffy to come over.
DR. OVERHEISER
Buffy, he wants you.
(to Riley)
There. All patched up.

Riley swings his legs around and sits up. Moving gingerly, wincing but not complaining. Buffy goes to
him. They look at each other awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Then Buffy moves closer – puts a
tentative hand to his chest.

BUFFY
How’s it going in there?
RILEY
Good. Back to normal.
Buffy moves her ear to his chest, listens. Smiles a little.
BUFFY
Yeah.

Riley touches her head, holds her to him. They stay like that for a long moment. Buffy closing her
eyes, taking comfort in the reassuring sound of his steady heartbeat. Finally, she pulls back – but
continues to hold his hand.

BUFFY

And see? I’m still touchable.

RILEY

Give me a week or so to heal and I’ll
take full advantage of that fact.

They smile, but there’s a twinge of sadness in it.
BUFFY

Are you going to be okay? Because I
should really go check on my mom.

RILEY
Go. I’ll be fine.

They kiss tenderly. Then-
BUFFY

I’ll talk to you later.

And she’s gone. Hold on Riley, watching her.

INT. COLLEGE MEDICAL BUILDING HALLWAY – DAWN
Riley and Graham make their way slowly down the long corridor. Graham SLAPS Riley on the back,
not too hard, but hard enough to make Riley, in his weakened condition, grimace.

GRAHAM
It hurts, huh?
RILEY
(‘no duh’)
Yeah.
GRAHAM

Pain’s your friend. Pain tells you
you’re alive.
RILEY

Well, then I am very alive. And my
good buddy pain should feel free to
stop reminding me any ol’ time now.

GRAHAM

You had me scared. It’s a good thing
Buffy found you when she did, man,
’cause you were just about to
detonate big time. I gotta say,
she’s pretty impressive.

Riley smiles proudly. Nods.

RILEY
You know, she really is.
GRAHAM
(conversational)
But you realize you don’t belong
here, right? This town. I mean,
you’re nothing here.
RILEY

Hey… what are you saying?
GRAHAM
Come on. You know it’s true.
There’s nothing for you here.

RILEY
There’s her.
GRAHAM

Right. Okay. There’s “her”. You
used to have a mission, now you’re
what? The mission’s boyfriend? The
mission’s true-love?

Riley can’t hold his gaze anymore, looks away.
GRAHAM
You belong with us.

INT. SPIKE’S CRYPT – EARLY MORNING
Spike sleeps alone. A BANG at the door. Spike’s eyes open. He barely has time to stand up before the
door opens. Buffy enters, looking angry and dangerous.

SPIKE

Shoulda known it’s you. Been nearly

six hours.
BUFFY

Would’ve been less if I wasn’t busy
cleaning up your mess.
SPIKE

My mess? I just borrowed the doc.
The mess was yours, Slayer. Yours

and the boy’s.
Buffy strides towards him purposeful, deadly. She pulls out a stake.

BUFFY

I’m done. You’re a killer and I
should’ve done this years ago.

SPIKE

You know what? Do it. Bloody just do it.

BUFFY
What?
SPIKE

End my torment — seeing you every
day, everywhere I go, every time I
turn around. Take me out of a world
that’s got you in it.
(suddenly shouting)
KILL ME!

Ripping open his shirt, he bares his chest to her. She raises her stake to strike, then hesitates. They
lock eyes.
Then suddenly, Spike grabs Buffy and plants a KISS on her. Her stake clatters to the floor. She
pushes him off, takes a step back; her face registering pure shock. Her hand goes to her mouth.
Then her tongue licks her lips lightly.
And then she grabs his head, pulls his face towards hers, kissing him back, passionately now,
pressing her body against his.
He pulls her head back ROUGHLY, thrusting her neck forward and kisses it. She MOANS softly.

BUFFY
I want you, Spike.

He presses his body against hers, running his hands down her back. She moans softly.
She CLAWS at his bare chest, scratching him with her nails.
SPIKE
(overwhelmed)
Slayer…

And then she PUSHES him hard, knocking him to the ground. She straddles him, GRINDING against
him. She supports herself on her arms, brushing his face with her hair, teasing him.
Spike pulls her arms out from under her, so that she falls on his chest. He rolls her over, so that now
he’s on top.

SPIKE

Oh Buffy. Buffy I love you. God I
love you so much…

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. SPIKE’S CRYPT – EARLY MORNING
Spike BOLTS up in bed.
Next to him lies a sleeping Harmony. Spike’s eyes are wide with terror as he realizes that he’s in love
with Buffy. He stares ahead, sick with the knowledge. He moans in utter torment:

SPIKE
God, no. Please, no.

BLACK OUT.

END OF SHOW

Transcripts

Teaser
Riley talking to Xander.
RILEY: Buffy’s like nobody else in the world. But she doesn’t love me.
GILES: Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer…
Riley in fatigues.
RILEY: What have you done to me?
Riley strapped into a chair in the Initiative, reaching for a piece of glass on the nearby table.
ADAM VOICEOVER: Professor Walsh. She implanted the behavior modifier.
RILEY VOICEOVER: The chip in my head.
ADAM VOICEOVER: Actually, the chip is here…
Riley stabbing himself in the chest with the piece of glass.
Adam pointing to Riley’s chest.
ADAM VOICEOVER: … tied directly into your central nervous system through the thoracic nerve.
Riley yanking the chip out of his chest.
Riley pointing a gun at something.
RILEY VOICEOVER: What’s happening to me?
Riley in Willy’s bar, sweeping a bunch of glasses off the bar.
Willow pulling back a curtain and jumping when she finds Riley behind it.
BUFFY VOICEOVER: Engleman said Walsh was feeding you drugs.
Buffy leaning over a sweaty Riley who’s lying on Xander’s couch.
RILEY: Something’s crawling inside me.
INITIATIVE DOC: I don’t want to think about the damage our guys could do under the stress of withdrawal.
Buffy walking into Dawn’s room.
Buffy and Dawn looking at each other.
JOYCE VOICEOVER: Buffy? If you’re going out, why don’t you take your sister?
Buffy and Dawn looking annoyed.
BUFFY/DAWN: (unison) Mom!
Dawn writing in her diary.
DAWN VOICEOVER: Nobody knows who I am. Not the real me. No one understands. No one has an older sister who’s a
Slayer.
Fade in on a graveyard, night. Camera pans across the crypts and finds Buffy crouched on top of one. She stands up,
stake in hand. Looks around, leaps to the ground.

Cut to Buffy running through the graveyard, pausing, looking around.
A pair of arms bursts out of a fresh grave but Buffy stakes the vampire before it can finish coming out of the ground.
Buffy straightens up, turns as another vamp emerges from another grave. She ducks his swing, throws a few punches,
kicks him in the chest. He does a back-roll and comes up to his feet.
Riley appears out of nowhere and throws the vamp aside.
BUFFY: Riley?
RILEY: (smiling) Buffy, what are you doing here?
BUFFY: My job?
RILEY: Well, I just thought you were in the north sector.
BUFFY: Watch out!
The vamp attacks Riley from behind. He kicks the vamp’s legs out from under him and throws him aside. The vamp hits a
crypt and slides down.
BUFFY: Never mind.
Riley punches the vampire, then stakes him.
Shot of another vamp emerging from the ground. Buffy spots him and starts forward with a yell, raising her stake.
Another person appears from the left side of the screen and tackles the new vamp, carrying him to the ground. Buffy
looks bemused.
BUFFY: Why do I even bother to show up?
The two fighters get up and we see that the newcomer is Spike. He blocks a couple of punches from the other vamp, then
grabs his arm.
BUFFY: Spike, what are you doing here?
SPIKE: Same thing as you and your Cub Scout here, I’ll wager.
He lands a few punches and the vamp goes down. Spike turns toward Buffy with a big grin.
SPIKE: A spot of violence before bedtime.
The other vamp punches him in the face and he goes down. He gets to his knees, wiping blood from his nose. The other
vamp growls. Buffy rushes forward.
Shot of Spike standing up, still wiping his nose with his hand. The other vamp attacks from the left. Buffy appears from
the right, shoves Spike out of the way, and stakes the vamp.
Spike exhales loudly, and Buffy gives him a dirty look.
SPIKE: What? I softened him up.
He wipes more blood from his nose, sniffs it, then licks it from his fingers.
BUFFY: Better keep out of my way, Spike. I’m not gonna take this much longer. (Riley walks over to join them.)
SPIKE: And I should do what in my spare time? Sit at home knitting cunning sweater sets?
BUFFY: Would it keep you out of my way?
RILEY: She’s right. You shouldn’t be out here when she’s patrolling.
Buffy turns to Riley in exasperation as if she’s going to say something, but she doesn’t.
SPIKE: Oh! I saw that. Looks like neither boy’s entirely welcome. You should take him home, Slayer. Make him stay
there. I’ve got knitting needles he can borrow.

Riley looks annoyed.
BUFFY: Spike … I just saw you taste your own nose blood, you know what? (Spike grins at her) I’m too grossed out to
hear anything you have to say. Go home.
She stalks off. Riley gives Spike a dirty look, then follows. Spike looks injured.
SPIKE: (yelling after them) It’s blood! It’s what I do!
Cut to Buffy walking along, looking tired and annoyed. Riley catches up with her.
RILEY: Hey, hope I didn’t get in the way.
He puts his arm around her. She gives a fake smile.
BUFFY: Of course not. I-I was just … startled. And, you know I don’t … love the idea of you patrolling alone.
RILEY: Not much for bench-warming.
BUFFY: No, you made the squad. You … threw that vampire like he was a … teeny-weeny little vampire.
RILEY: (grinning) Hey, wanna go again? Come on, I bet this place is just teeming with aerodynamic vampires.
Buffy looks around.
BUFFY: Nah. (pauses) Unless you wanna go back and kill Spike for the fun of it?
Riley raises his eyebrows in a sort of shrug. They both turn and continue on their way.
Cut back to Spike staring after them.
SPIKE: I will know your blood, Slayer. (pause) I will make your neck my chalice … and drink deep.
He wipes blood from his nose again, turns, and tries to stride away purposefully, but he falls into an open grave.
Long shot of the graveyard looking empty, with the open grave in the foreground.
SPIKE: (voice coming from the grave) Ow!
Wolf howl. Opening credits.
Guest starring Mercedes McNab, Bailey Chase, Charlie Weber, Time Winters, Amber Benson as Tara, and Kristine
Sutherland as Joyce Summers. Written by Rebecca Rand Kirshner, directed by David Grossman.
Act I
Fade in on a UC Sunnydale building filled with students walking around, talking, studying, etc.
WILLOW: You can’t possibly be arguing that Marat didn’t betray the French Revolutionaries.
We see Willow and Buffy walking through the halls.
WILLOW: This was the guy who declared the rights of man, and then the next thing you know he’s … killing Girondin like
it’s going out of style.
BUFFY: Will, you’re totally missing my point. Now, I agree that Marat wasn’t a real martyr, but the death in the tub … the
neck wound, all that blood, just a little more fang-y than knife-y. I mean, Charlotte Corday wasn’t a real martyr either,
but…
WILLOW: Buffy!
Willow stops walking and grabs Buffy’s hand.
BUFFY: What?
WILLOW: (smiling hugely) Listen to us! We-we’re arguing! We’re having a debate about a college lecture! I have dreamt
of this day since … forever! (proudly) You are turning into quite the student. (Buffy smiles) Should I be watching my
occipital lobe?

BUFFY: Your what?
WILLOW: Occipital. (pointing to her head) The lobe in the back of your brain. You know, like, “should I be watching my
back?” But, you know, the … back of your brain. (sighs)
BUFFY: Apparently not. Don’t worry, Will, you still wear the smarty-pants in the family.
WILLOW: I don’t know. You’ve been studying … really a lot.
BUFFY: I’m trying. But they’re really piling on the reading, and Giles fills any free time I have with extra training … I’m
starting to think this working hard is hard work.
WILLOW: Isn’t it crazy like that?
BUFFY: I thought it was gonna be like in the movies. You know, inspirational music … a montage, me sharpening my
pencils, me reading, writing, falling asleep on a big pile of books with my glasses all crooked, ’cause in my montage I
have glasses. (Willow nods) But real life is slow, and it’s starting to hurt my occipital lobe.
WILLOW: (sympathetic) Aw. Poor Buffy’s brain. (Pats Buffy on the head)
BUFFY: Actually, I’m heading to training now. Do you wanna come with?
WILLOW: I’m in. (They start walking again) Maybe we can argue some more about the French Revolution. Hey! Wasn’t
that Robespierre the coolest?
BUFFY: Robespierre? You’re kidding me, right?
WILLOW: I’m just gettin’ it goin’.
Cut to a shot of a circle saw cutting some wood. We hear Giles’ voice indistinctly over the saw noise. The camera pulls
back and we see it’s Xander wielding the saw, wearing safety goggles, standing in the middle of the magic shop. Giles is
behind the counter wearing a dust-mask, painting something.
GILES: (muffled by the noise) It seems the plans worked perfectly.
Xander stops the saw and unclamps the piece of wood from the vise.
XANDER: Yes, blueprints, not a bad idea. That, and getting straight “measure twice, cut once.” You know, for the longest
time I had it backwards. Mess-y!
Xander begins fitting the piece of wood into a bookcase(?) that he’s working on.
GILES: (pulling mask down from his mouth, so it hangs around his neck) Well, I must say, I’m very impressed.
XANDER: Yeah, carpentry is pretty cool.
Knock on the door. Giles goes to answer it. As he walks across the shop and the camera follows him, we see Tara
standing by a small round table, wearing a long skirt, holding a deck of tarot cards. Then we see Anya moving stuff
around on the shelves.
ANYA: Oh! Who put the monkey heads near the Styx water? Do we want to pick exploded monkey out of our hair?
(Picks up a jar and a monkey head, and walks across the room.)
Giles opens the door. Willow and Buffy stand there, smiling.
BUFFY: Trick or treat!
GILES: Hello, you two, come on in.
WILLOW: Thank you, kind proprietor.
They enter.
TARA: Hey, you.
WILLOW: Hey! (looking around) Oh, wow, this place looks great. Oh, I feel like a witch in a magic shop. (picks up a jar
from a table) Ooh. Are these real newt eyes? (Looks at Giles)
GILES: No, too … rich for my blood, I’m afraid. No, these are salamander eyes, it’s the … cataracts which give them
their newt-like appearance. (moving past her) They’re really equally effective, though, it’s … just a matter of overcoming
snobberies.
We see Buffy putting her purse down, and Xander looking at a blueprint, holding a pencil.
XANDER: I’m telling you Giles. You gotta set up a blind taste test and prove once and for all that generic amphibian
eyeballs are just as good.
WILLOW: I don’t know. If you ask me, the newt name still means something. (puts down jar and walks off)

GILES: (to Buffy) You ready to train?
BUFFY: You betcha.
GILES: Shall we then?
BUFFY: We shall then.
They walk off toward the back.
We see Willow sitting at the round table, with Tara standing beside her. A lot of tarot cards on the table.
TARA: I just … keep thinking how cool it would be, if we got a real psychic to sit up here and read fortunes and stuff.
WILLOW: You should do it.
TARA: Not me. But, but I’d love to, to watch and learn. From someone who’s really good, you know?
WILLOW: You’re really good. (holds out her hands) I’ll prove it. Here, do me.
Tara nods and sits, putting down the cards, taking one of Willow’s hands. Willow watches her study it.
TARA: Hmm.
WILLOW: What do you see?
TARA: Willow hand.
They both smile.
Cut to Giles opening the door to the back as Buffy and Xander watch. Giles holds the door for Buffy.
Shot of Buffy entering, looking around. Someone tackles her from the side, pulling her out of the shot so we see Giles and
Xander behind, looking surprised.
Buffy falls to the floor on top of Riley, who has his arms around her waist.
BUFFY: Unh! Ow, Riley…
They get up.
RILEY: Just keeping you on your toes.

BUFFY: Or off them, as it were. What’s gotten into-
She stops as she looks around the room and sees it for the first time.

BUFFY: Oh my god. Look at this place!
Long shot of the room. We see a punching bag hanging from the ceiling, a vault horse atop a set of mays, a stationary
bike, and a scarecrow/dummy. In the background there’s something that looks like a mini-fridge(?). Against the far wall
there’s a set of weights. Symbols are painted on the floor and walls.
BUFFY: (gasps) Thank you. (looks up at Giles) Thank you … so much.
GILES: (removing his glasses and then the mask that’s still around his neck) It’s just a start, you need a proper space to

train, so-
BUFFY: I love it. (Giles gives a small smile)

RILEY: (grinning) So come on, let’s test this puppy out. Think you can take me? (throws a few fake punches at Buffy. She
mostly ignores him, walking farther into the room.) What’s the matter, afraid of a little competition?
BUFFY: It must have been so much work.
XANDER: I’m the dummy man. (coming forward) I mean, I … made the dummy. (gestures at it) The thing that you hit that
doesn’t hit back. (shrugs, looking embarrassed) That, I made.
BUFFY: It’s great. (to Giles) I-it’s all great.
GILES: (putting his glasses back on) Well, you’ve earned it. Truly.
BUFFY: Thank you guys so much. You’re like my … fairy godmother and Santa Claus and Q all wrapped up into one.
Riley looks confused.
BUFFY: Q from Bond, not Star Trek.

Xander nods.
BUFFY: I’m gonna go change.
Cut to the graveyard, night. The camera pans jerkily across gravestones and bushes. We hear the sound of someone
panting. The camera moves up the stairs leading into a crypt.
Cut to Spike sitting in his crypt, watching TV.
SPIKE: Oh Pacey, you blind idiot. Can’t you see she doesn’t love you?
Suddenly there’s a banging on the door. Spike jumps up and turns off the TV. More banging and Harmony comes in,
looking disheveled and nervous. She shuts the door behind her and presses her back against the wall.
SPIKE: Well, well, well. Looky here.
HARMONY: (anxiously) Is it safe? Has Buffy gotten to you yet? I saw her patrolling just now … with a stake! (Spike
pretends to look shocked) She won’t give up until she’s killed me to death!
SPIKE: (skeptical) Buffy’s looking for you.
HARMONY: Of course! (walks forward) That’s why I’m on the lam. Didn’t you hear? I’m totally her arch-nemesis!
SPIKE: Is that right. I must have missed the memo.
HARMONY: There was a mem-? (sighs) Spike, oh my god! This is like a real emergency! Uhh! (Spike grins) I need a
hideout so bad. You’re my only hope. We’re just gonna have to rise above … our petty differences… (looks anxiously at
Spike) Listen, Spike … I’m desperate.
SPIKE: (still grinning, looking her up and down) Desperate, are you?
Harmony smiles a cajoling smile.
HARMONY: Come on, Spike. Pretty please? I’ll do anything!
SPIKE: Anything, will you?
HARMONY: Yeah! I said I’ll do anything.
Spike raises his eyebrows.
HARMONY: Ohhhh. You mean will I have sex with you? (shrugs casually, like “duh”) Well, yeah.
Spike grins to himself as Harmony sits in his chair and takes out a cigarette. She begins flicking a lighter, trying to light
it. She flicks it quite a few times before she finally figures it out and gets the cigarette lit.
SPIKE: Taking up smoking, are you?
Harmony leans back in the chair.
HARMONY: I am a villain, Spike, hellooooo. (Takes a drag and starts to cough)
SPIKE: I guess you are at that. What with the slayer on your tail and all.
Harmony watches him warily.
SPIKE: She’s not the type to give up, either. She’ll hunt you down, day and night, till you’re too tired and too hungry to
run any more. And then? (leans down to grab a handful of dust) Then… (dusting off his hands) that is you.
Harmony looks upset.
SPIKE: I guess you’re gonna have to kill her.
HARMONY: (whining) I tried! It was all hard and stuff! (sits up) You do it.
SPIKE: (looking down at her) I’d love to. But, I can’t. Remember? I’ve got this cute little government chip in my head.
HARMONY: (sighs) Oh, right. Guess it’ll have to be me after all. (looks up at Spike again) Can you help with the
thinking?
SPIKE: (nods) Yeah. I suppose I could do that.
Harmony smiles and sits back again, putting the cigarette to her lips.

Cut to Buffy and Riley lying in bed, side-by-side. Riley is tapping his hands agitatedly on his chest. Buffy gives a
contented sigh.
RILEY: Yeah.
BUFFY: Mm, that was relaxing.
She turns onto her side as if to sleep. Riley continues patting himself, looks over at her.
RILEY: You, uh … wanna relax some more? (Turns onto his side and snuggles up against her)
BUFFY: Again? Right away again?
Riley is kissing her bare shoulder.
RILEY: Maybe you’re too tired.
BUFFY: Hey. (reaches behind her to caress his cheek) I have the endurance of ten men.
RILEY: Let’s make it women, okay? (Buffy laughs) Just for the imagery.
BUFFY: Whatever. You know, it takes a lot to wear me out. (turns toward him)
RILEY: Oh, I love a challenge.
BUFFY: Mm.
Buffy turns back onto her back and Riley moves on top of her. They kiss passionately.
DAWN VOICEOVER: Well, wouldn’t you?
Cut to Dawn in Joyce’s kitchen, pouring from a box of Sugar Bombs cereal. There are a number of bowls on the table in
front of her.
DAWN: Every kid tries to make the substitute cry. It’s like a rite of passage.
We see Joyce in the background, cooking over the stove.
JOYCE: I certainly would not. Being a substitute is an extremely difficult job. Besides… (looks at the bowls) Honestly,
Dawn, how many bowls of cereal are you planning on eating?
DAWN: Oh, these aren’t for eating. I’m just trying to get the extra out of the way so I could… (sticks her hand in cereal
box, pulls out a toy) get this. (She smiles cheerfully at Joyce and sits down.) Anyway, (pointing to Joyce) I want eggs.
JOYCE: You want the cereal prize, but you don’t want the cereal. You are growing up. All righty, half an omelette
coming up. (Scooping the eggs onto two plates)
DAWN: Oh, um, with ketchup if you please?
JOYCE: Mm-hmm.
Joyce turns away from the stove, holding the two plates. Suddenly she stops and blinks as if dizzy. Dawn looks up from
unwrapping the prize.
JOYCE: (confused) Oh, what is the… (looks at Dawn) Who are you?
Dawn looks confused. Suddenly Joyce collapses to the floor, the plates shattering. Dawn jumps up in alarm.
Shot of Joyce lying unconscious on the floor, surrounded by pieces of plates and food.
Dawn backs away, panting fearfully, and grabs the telephone. She dials 911.
Cut to a hospital emergency room. Double doors burst open and Buffy pushes in past some people, followed by Riley.
Long shot down the hospital hall. We see Dawn sitting on a chair, fiddling with a stethoscope that’s hung around her
neck. Buffy rushes up to her.
BUFFY: Hey. How’s Mom? Are you okay? (Hugs Dawn)
DAWN: I’m okay.
MAN: And your mom’s doing just fine.
A young man in a white coat approaches. Buffy lets go of Dawn and stands up.
DAWN: (still sitting) This is Ben. He gave me his stethoscope.
BEN: Lent you his stethoscope. Buffy, right? (holds out hand) I’m Ben, I’m an intern here. I’ve had the pleasure of
hanging out with the renowned Dr. Dawn here while your mom’s being tested. (Buffy shakes his hand)

RILEY: So what’s goin’ on? What happened?
BEN: Well, she’s doing okay now … the doctors don’t really know what caused the collapse…
We see Dawn putting the stethoscope earpieces in her ears and tapping the end with her fingers. The voices fade out; we
can still hear them, but they’re muffled as they would sound to Dawn with the stethoscope in her ears.
BEN: (muffled)… it could’ve just been a dizzy spell, low blood sugar, that sort of thing.
BUFFY: But it’s nothing bad. I, I mean it’s not … serious, right?
BEN: (muffled) Very unlikely. So your mom doesn’t have a … history of fainting?
We see Dawn putting the stethoscope to Ben’s chest. We hear a normal heartbeat.
BUFFY: (muffled) No. I mean, not that I know of. She’s usually really healthy.
BEN: (muffled) Well, I think they’ll be running tests for a few more hours…
We see Dawn putting the stethoscope to Buffy’s chest. We hear a normal heartbeat.
BEN: (muffled) …then they’ll probably want her to come back for some follow-up tests in a couple weeks, but it really
doesn’t look like anything too serious.
BUFFY: Oh, thank god. I was freaking out.
We see Dawn getting up and walking around them.
BEN: (muffled) I think you’ll be able to take her home before too long.
RILEY: (muffled) Well, that is definitely good news.
We see Dawn putting the stethoscope to Riley’s chest. We hear a heartbeat that is much too fast and irregular. Dawn’s
eyes widen and she looks up at Riley’s face.
Blackout.
Act II
Fade in on a hospital exam room. Riley sits on the exam table buttoning up his shirt.
DOCTOR: I know I’m repeating myself here, but I don’t know what else to say to convince you.
We see Buffy watching as a female doctor talks to Riley. The doctor is writing on her clipboard.
DOCTOR: I have never in all my years of medicine let a patient with tachycardia this severe leave a hospital.
RILEY: You said you couldn’t keep me.
DOCTOR: Legally, no, I can’t force you to do a thing. (Riley nods and resumes buttoning his shirt) But with that pulse,
believe me, I’d get on my knees and beg you if I thought I could change your mind.
RILEY: You can’t. I’m going home.

DOCTOR: And your friend here can’t convince you to-
Riley holds up a hand to stop her.

RILEY: I’m going.
Buffy looks very concerned.
DOCTOR: All right then, but you’re leaving against my recommendation.
The doctor leaves. Riley looks at Buffy, then stands up.
BUFFY: What’s going on? What are you doing? What if you have a heart attack?
RILEY: (puts hands on her shoulders) Listen to me. Calm down.
BUFFY: Me calm down? I’m not the one with a pulse of a hundred and fifty.
RILEY: My heart’s different than yours, Buffy. It works differently now, but it’s okay.

BUFFY: But you’re still a human, Riley. You could still have a heart attack.
RILEY: I’m a human who was used as a lab rat for months.
They look up as the door opens. Joyce and Dawn enter.
JOYCE: Hi.
BUFFY: Hey. How are you? (hurries over to hug Joyce)
JOYCE: Oh … embarrassed, mostly. I’m sorry to put you through this. But, no more tests, so you can take this pincushion
home.
RILEY: Yes. (comes forward) Let’s, uh, get outta here.
He holds the door for Joyce and Dawn. Buffy gives him a concerned look, then exits also. Riley follows.
Cut to Joyce’s living room. Joyce is lying on the sofa, sipping from a mug, with Buffy and Dawn sitting by her. Willow
stands beside the sofa.
WILLOW: What about a crossword? Some people say feed a cold, I say puzzle it.
JOYCE: Oh, no thanks, Willow.
DAWN: I like chicken fingers with mustard when I’m sick.
JOYCE: (puts mug on coffee table) I know you do, sweetie. I can make us some later.
BUFFY: Oh, uh-uh. You are sitting right here on this couch today.
JOYCE: I feel silly lying here like a lump!
WILLOW: You could make a game out of it. A-a very quiet game, about being a lump.
JOYCE: I feel fine. Honestly, I’m more concerned about Riley than I am about me.
BUFFY: You shouldn’t even be thinking about that. He’s not worried, so I don’t think we should be.
Cut to Buffy’s room. Buffy is pacing. Willow lies on the bed while Dawn sits on the floor, leaning against the bed.
BUFFY: I don’t get what he’s thinking. (steps over Dawn as she paces around the bed) Why isn’t he worried?
WILLOW: Maybe he thinks his body can handle it. He is in really good shape.
BUFFY: Nobody’s body can handle a heart attack. (steps over Dawn to pace the other way again)
WILLOW: I know. I’m sorry, Buffy. I’m trying too hard to make it okay.
BUFFY: (sighs) I just keep coming back to the Initiative.
Dawn watches her pace back and forth.
WILLOW: It does have that icky government feel to it.
DAWN: Did you know that one time the CIA tried to kill Fidel Castro with poisonous aspirin?
BUFFY: Dawn, please.
Dawn looks annoyed. Buffy sits on a chair.
BUFFY: I know I have to do something, I just don’t know what.

DAWN: Another time the CIA-
BUFFY: Dawn!

DAWN: It’s important.
Buffy looks annoyed but nods.
DAWN: (quickly) Tried to make Castro go crazy by putting itching powder in his beard. (Buffy raises her eyebrows
accusingly) It’s about the government!
WILLOW: Call the Initiative. If they know what’s wrong with him, they have to help.
BUFFY: Yeah, but call them how? First of all, they don’t exist any more, and secondly, they never claimed to exist in
the first place.
Willow looks defeated.
BUFFY: (getting up) It’s so unfair. I mean, i-it’s like Big Brother can spy on you all the time, and-and the second I have
something to say, no one will listen!
DAWN: (muttering) Sounds more like Big Sister.
WILLOW: There has to be a way.
BUFFY: Like what? Take a tour of the White House and pretend to get lost, and look for some door with a sign on it that

says “Secret Government Monster Hunters”?
DAWN: If they’re really spying on you all the time, you just say something so you know they’ll hear you. (Buffy looks
thoughtful) Like sometimes, I write fake things in my diary in case… (trails off)
BUFFY: I gotta go. Uh, see you guys later.
She grabs her bag and leaves. Dawn looks over at Willow.
DAWN: What’d I say?
Cut to Buffy entering Riley’s room. We see a punching bag in the foreground. It’s dark.
BUFFY: Riley?
No one’s there. Buffy walks in, closing the door behind her. She picks up the phone and puts it to her ear. We hear a dial
tone, alternating with clicking noises.
BUFFY: (into phone) Riley’s in trouble. He needs help.
She hangs up.
Fast music starts. Cut to Riley playing basketball with a bunch of other guys. They’re all yelling. The camera moves very
fast, as do the men, giving it all a dizzy frantic feeling. Riley is clearly playing very well. The other men shake their
heads as the game ends.
GUY: No way, man.
RILEY: I’m out.
He throws the ball to one of them. He’s very sweaty. He turns and walks off.
Riley walks past a bench where a guy is sitting. He glances at the guy, then away.
RILEY: Graham. (Keeps walking)
GRAHAM: Riley. (We see Graham sitting on the bench, talking over his shoulder) Can we talk?
Riley bends over a water fountain and drinks. Graham gets up, gestures to two men standing nearby in button-down
shirts.
GRAHAM: Agent Goodman, Agent Brown.
Riley walks toward Graham.
RILEY: So talk.
GRAHAM: What’s goin’ on, man? (Riley shrugs) You gotta get this taken care of immediately. We gotta get you into an
operating room.
RILEY: Very convincing. Makes me completely wanna put myself under government control.
Graham stares Riley down with the two other agents behind him. Riley puts out his hands, in fists, with the wrists
together, as if inviting handcuffs.
RILEY: Please take me where they can make me unconscious and naked.
GRAHAM: Hey, you think I’d pull something on you?
RILEY: You’re still in. I’m out. I don’t know what orders you’re following.
GRAHAM: Oh, come on. You know Walsh pumped all those chemicals and crap into us. You got more than anyone. She
messed us up bad.
RILEY: (scornful) And now the government’s knocking themselves out to kiss it and make it better.
GRAHAM: Riley, I’m tellin’ you, you need help. I’m not saying it to trick you.
RILEY: (shakes head) Maybe you even believe it.
GRAHAM: I know it. You don’t want this.
RILEY: You’re sure you got the fix for it?
GRAHAM: Yeah. We got a guy, a doctor. He’s gonna take care of you, and we’re going to him now. (Riley nods) I’m not
givin’ you a choice.
RILEY: I guess you’re not.

Suddenly he punches Graham in the face. The other two agents grab both Riley’s arms but he throws one of them off,
knees the other one in the stomach and punches him. He blocks a kick from the first one, punches him, clotheslines him,
throws the other one to the ground and runs off.
Cut to interior of UC Sunnydale building. We see Buffy talking to Graham amid a crowd of students. Graham’s face is
bruised.
BUFFY: So you messed up and now he’s gone and when are you even gonna tell me what’s wrong with him?
GRAHAM: I’m not permitted to say.
BUFFY: Say.
GRAHAM: (sighs) Hyperadrenal overload and a bunch of stuff that sounds even worse than that, and all it means is he’s
way stronger than he oughta be and feeling no pain. His heart can’t take it. We’ve been at him for weeks about it.
Buffy sighs.

GRAHAM: There’s a specialist waiting at Sunnydale General, fourth floor neurology. Get Riley there. If you don’t-
BUFFY: I’ll get him there.

GRAHAM: (nods) I’ll tell the doc.
Buffy turns to walk off. Graham watches her go.
GRAHAM: Buffy.
She turns back.
BUFFY: If you tell me to hurry … I’ll kick your ass.
She walks off as Graham watches.
Cut to shot of Sunnydale, evening.
Fade to Riley walking through woods, approaching the entrance to a cave and entering it.
Cut to interior of the magic shop. We see Willow and Tara sitting at the round table with Giles standing in the
background.
WILLOW: Poor Riley.
GILES: Could he have simply gone back to his apartment?
Giles walks toward them and we see Buffy standing beside the table. Xander and Anya are sitting across from Willow and
Tara.
BUFFY: No, he’s not at his apartment, he’s not at the gym, he’s not at the library … he’s gone somewhere where he
doesn’t wanna be found.
ANYA: So basically he’s gone AWOL.
BUFFY: Basically exactly.
WILLOW: Poor Buffy.
XANDER: Maybe he just needs some time alone. Like, I had this friend once, who really liked this girl, and … he got all
worried that maybe she didn’t like him back… (Buffy and Giles look confused) and maybe that made him act like a total
jerk. Maybe Riley reminds me of that friend.
Anya smiles.
WILLOW: What are you talking about?
XANDER: Then again, maybe not. Maybe he just wants attention.
BUFFY: Well, here’s a hot tip, if you want attention? Be there so people can give it to you.
ANYA: (softly) I care about you, Xander.
XANDER: (smiles confusedly) Thanks.
ANYA: (smiles) Don’t be insecure.
XANDER: (shrugs, shakes his head) Thanks … I won’t.
ANYA: And, I also have this “friend” (making air-quotes) and, uh, I have it on really good authority that she really likes
that guy, your “friend” (air-quotes) … and, by the by, my friend-

BUFFY: You guys, enough! (Anya and Xander look embarrassed) Okay, Riley is in real danger here. (sighs) Anya,
Xander, why don’t you guys check the docks.
Anya and Xander nod.
XANDER: Aye aye.
They get up and leave.
WILLOW: Tara and I can scope out the burned-out school. Riley hid there once. Maybe he … feels it’s homey or
something.
BUFFY: (thoughtful) Homey. You know what else he might find homey in a … dank, unpleasant evil sort of way? (Giles
sits in Xander’s vacated seat) The Initiative caves. I don’t know them too well.
GILES: (sipping tea) We do have an associate who knows those caves like the back of his … melanin-deprived hand.
BUFFY: (sighs) I so don’t want to deal with Spike right now. That guy is really starting to bug me in that special “I
wanna shove something wooden through his heart” kinda way.
WILLOW: He does seem extra twitchy lately. Maybe the whole not killing is gettin’ to him.
BUFFY: Plus hanging out all day in that moldy crypt, you just know he’s doing something nasty.
Cut to Spike sitting with Harmony in the crypt.
SPIKE: Okay, is it bigger than a breadbox?
HARMONY: (smiling) No. Four left.
SPIKE: So it’s smaller than a breadbox.
HARMONY: (giggling) No! Only three!
SPIKE: (quietly annoyed) Harmony … is it a sodding breadbox?
HARMONY: (clapping and laughing) Yes! Oh my god! Someone’s blondie bear is a twenty-question genius!
Banging on the door. Harmony stops laughing and looks scared.
HARMONY: She’s found me!
She jumps up and runs over to a coffin, climbs into it. Spike follows and slides the lid onto the coffin, then sits on top of it
trying to look casual.
Buffy busts the door open and strides in.
BUFFY: I’ve got a proposition for you.
SPIKE: (jumping off the coffin) Funny, I’ve got a proposition for you, what about knocking? (Buffy ignores him, pulling
out a wad of cash and unfolding it) Seems only fair since we vamps can’t enter your flat without an invite, you could at
least – Say, look at those pretty pieces of paper.
BUFFY: Riley’s sick with some Initiative thing and he’s missing. I think he might be in the caves. You find him, bring him
to the fourth floor of the hospital, their doctors get to him in time… (holds up the money) you get the cash.
SPIKE: Oh, dear, is the enormous hall monitor sick? Tell me, is he gonna die?
Buffy slaps him across the face.
BUFFY: He is not the only person that can die.
SPIKE: Hey. I’m just saying, if it’s really that important to you, I think I’ll get half now.
Buffy looks at the money in her hand. She rips the bills in half, slams one half against Spike’s chest, and strides out.
Spike watches her go, then looks down at the half-bills in his hand.
Harmony pushes the coffin lid aside and peeks out.
HARMONY: So? What’d she say about me?
Cut to hospital corridor. The double-doors open and Graham walks through, walks down the hallway, past a security
guard who nods at him. Graham goes through another set of double-doors and enters a lab. The doctor (Dr. Overheiser)
is there.

OVERHEISER: Any word?
GRAHAM: They’ll be here any minute.
Overheiser looks at a folder in his hand.
GRAHAM: That’s soon enough, right? I mean, if we bring him in now?
OVERHEISER: I’ll be honest. I’m not sure it’s soon enough if you brought him in yesterday.
Knock on the door. Graham turns.
GRAHAM: Finally.
He opens the door to see the security guard apparently standing there. Then the guard falls forward, his head hitting
Graham’s. Graham falls back and the guard falls on top of him as we see Harmony walking in behind the dead guard.
Overheiser looks up in alarm. Spike follows Harmony in, carrying a crossbow. He tosses it to Harmony, who catches it
and points it at the doctor, letting the tip of the arrow touch his cheek.
SPIKE: You got yourself a new patient, doc.
Blackout.
Act III
Fade in on Buffy walking in the woods, holding a flashlight. It’s dark. She finds the cave entrance that Riley used earlier,
and walks in.
Exterior shot of a college building.
Cut to interior of a room with several tiers of chairs. The door opens and Spike enters, followed by Overheiser and then
Harmony with the crossbow.
OVERHEISER: Look, you don’t understand. This is a complicated neurological procedure and I’ve never performed it
before.
They walk down the steps, past rows of seats, into a surgical theatre.
SPIKE: Little performance anxiety, eh doc? (Takes off his jacket, sits on the operating table) Butterflies in the old belly?
Harm, do us a favor. Shoot the nasty butterflies for the good doctor. (Overheiser looks from Harmony to Spike and moves
toward the operating table) There you go. It’s not so complicated. Just do whatever those Initiative lab monkeys did, only
backwards.
Harmony sits on a nearby counter.
OVERHEISER: This is a medical school, not a proper operating facility, these instruments… (gesturing at the tray of
instruments)
SPIKE: (sighs) They look pointy enough. They’ll do.
He lies back on the table with his hands behind his head.
OVERHEISER: You’re not listening. That chip is deeply imbedded in your cerebral cortex. Removing it could leave you a
vegetable.
SPIKE: That’s not gonna happen, mate. See, I have faith in your survival instinct.
He looks significantly over at Harmony. Overheiser looks too. Harmony smiles and lifts the crossbow.
SPIKE: (smiling) Yeah. You’ll have me up and killing before the night’s over. (Note: although it sounds like “killing,” and
the closed-captions say “killing,” his lips clearly say “fighting.”)
Overheiser looks apprehensive. Spike continues to grin.
SPIKE: Come on, doc! (nudges the doctor with his foot) You’ll do me right. Nothing bad’ll happen to you.

Suddenly an arrow flies across the room, narrowly missing the doctor, and lodging in the wall opposite. Spike and
Overheiser look at it, startled, then look over at Harmony.
HARMONY: Oops. (grinning apologetically) String was slippy.
Cut to exterior shot of the burned-out old Sunnydale High School building.
WILLOW VOICEOVER: (calling) Riley!
Cut to inside. Willow and Tara walking through the rubble.
TARA: This place kinda creeps me out.
WILLOW: You shoulda been here when it was a school. (calls) Riley!
They walk on, very slowly, looking nervous.
WILLOW: Oof. Darkness.
TARA: Piles of it. We shoulda brought a flashlight.
WILLOW: Ooh! I know! (reaches into her bag) Better to light a candle than curse the damn darkness. (Smiles. Pulls a
small bottle out of her bag) A little spell. (Shows it to Tara) Fiat lux! (Latin, translation: “let there be light”)
Willow throws the bottle at the ground. There’s a big burst of flame and then the entire area is lit with a soft diffuse light.
TARA: Wow.
WILLOW: There, that’s better.
Tara stares at her in amazement.
WILLOW: (calling) Riley! Come on out!
She begins to walk again. Tara follows, still staring.
TARA: How’d you do that? With the light?
WILLOW: Oh, you know. You taught me.
TARA: I taught you teeny Tinkerbell light.
WILLOW: Okay, so I … tinkered with the Tinkerbell. It was easy. And besides, isn’t this better than … using a flashlight
like some kind of doofus?
Cut to Buffy with a flashlight, walking through the caves, calling.
BUFFY: Riley? Riley, answer me. (mutters softly) Please.
She walks on. Pan across the rocks, with vines growing on them. We hear a repetitive knocking noise.
BUFFY: Riley?
She rounds a corner and finds Riley punching the rock wall. There’s a large cavity in the wall where he’s clearly been
punching for some time. He’s shiny with sweat and looks tired.
RILEY: (not looking at Buffy) You know, this doesn’t even hurt.
BUFFY: Your hand is bleeding.
RILEY: (looks at her) Don’t feel a thing.
He moves to punch the wall again but Buffy stops him.
BUFFY: This stops now. I’m taking you to the doctor.
RILEY: The one from the government, you mean? Like the ones who did this to me in the first place? (Puts up a hand in a
“no thanks” gesture and backs away)
BUFFY: (moving toward him) He’s the only one that understands what’s wrong with you. He’s the only one that can help.
RILEY: What’s wrong with me? I’m more powerful than I’ve ever been, Buffy. Most people would kill to feel this way.

BUFFY: Yeah, and this feeling is going to kill you. Riley, your body was not built for this kind of strength-
RILEY: I can handle it. This is my deal, Buffy, just … back off.

He walks past her. She turns to watch him.
BUFFY: What is this?
He stops walking, turns back to her.
BUFFY: What’s happening to you?
RILEY: I go back … let the government get whimsical with my innards again … They could do anything that- Best-case
scenario, they turn me into Joe Normal, just… (sighs) Just another guy.
BUFFY: And that’s not enough for you?
RILEY: It’s not enough for you.
BUFFY: Why would you say that?
RILEY: Come on. Your last boyfriend wasn’t exactly a civilian.
BUFFY: So that’s what this is about? You’re going to die, all over some macho pissing contest.
RILEY: (shakes his head) It’s not about him. It’s about us. (Buffy shakes her head, not understanding) You’re getting
stronger every day, more powerful. I can’t touch you. Every day, you’re just … a little further out of my reach.
BUFFY: You wanna touch me? (walks toward him) I’m right here. I’m not the one running away.
RILEY: Not yet.
BUFFY: So you have this all figured out? I’m bailing because you’re not in the super club.
RILEY: (shrugs) It’s human nature.
BUFFY: (angrily) Don’t Psych 101 me. (Riley looks away) Not now. Not after everything that … Nobody has ever known
me the way you do. Nobody. (Riley doesn’t look at her) I’ve opened up to you in ways that I’ve never opened up to … God,
you’re just sitting back there thinking that none of this means anything to me.
RILEY: (still not looking at her) I never said that.

BUFFY: (teary-eyed) Because it obviously doesn’t mean anything to you. Do you really think so little of me-
RILEY: Buffy.

BUFFY: No! No. Do you think that I spent the last year with you because you had super powers? If that’s what I wanted,
then I’d be dating Spike. (quietly) Riley, I need you. (He looks at her, looks apprehensive) I need you with me … and I
need you healthy. But if you wanna throw it all away because you don’t trust me, then … (firmly) then I’m still gonna
make you go to that doctor.
Riley looks at her, looks away. He sighs.
RILEY: Take me to him.
Buffy nods.
BUFFY: We have to hurry.
She strides past him, but he grabs her arm and turns her to face him.
RILEY: Loving you is the scariest thing I’ve ever done, Buffy.
BUFFY: I don’t know why.
She puts her hand over his heart.
BUFFY: The doctor said we didn’t have much time.
They walk off.
Cut to Spike on the operating table. A sheet lies vertically over the top of his head, and his eyes are closed. As the
camera pulls back we see the doctor wearing rubber gloves, working on Spike’s head. Harmony comes into view, walking
behind Overheiser.
HARMONY: I read in a magazine that some women think a man’s real sex organ is his brain.
She leans next to the doctor and looks at where his hands are.
HARMONY: Yecch! No contest. I mean, look at it. It’s so … pink and wriggly-looking. (grins suddenly; to the doctor) Can
I touch it?

Spike’s eyes pop open.
SPIKE/OVERHEISER: (unison) No!
HARMONY: (looking over at Spike’s face) Oh my god, you’re awake?
OVERHEISER: Local anesthetic.
HARMONY: Wow, Spikey, how does it feel?
SPIKE: Like someone’s cutting into my brain with a knife, you silly bint.
Harmony looks back at Spike’s brain.
HARMONY: (to doctor) You know what it means that he can’t hurt any living thing? It means he can’t even pick flowers.
SPIKE: What? Yes I can!
OVERHEISER: (softly) Please be quiet.
Everyone is quiet for a moment. Then Harmony points at Spike’s brain again.
HARMONY: Is it supposed to do that?
OVERHEISER: Please. For god’s sake, please, be quiet.
HARMONY: Listen, buster. I don’t see a crossbow in your hands, okay?
SPIKE: Harmony, if your incessant prattling bolloxes up this operation, I’m gonna personally yank out your pink and
wriggly tongue.
Overheiser looks at Harmony.
HARMONY: What are you looking at?
Cut to the hospital room. Riley and Buffy come through the double-doors and find the security guard and Graham on the
floor.
BUFFY: Uh-oh.
Buffy bends over the guard while Riley goes to Graham.
RILEY: Graham. Graham. (Helps him sit up. Riley holds up two fingers) How many fingers I got?
GRAHAM: Seventeen.
Riley and Buffy exchange a concerned look.
GRAHAM: Hostile 17 and a blonde girl.
BUFFY: (sighs) Spike and Harmony, together again.
Riley helps Graham stand up. They look around.
GILES: Where’s Dr. Overheiser?
BUFFY: Uh, Spike must have taken him. What would Spike want with – (The clue hits) The chip. He’s gonna force the
doctor to remove the chip from his brain.
Riley bends over and puts his hands on his knees, panting. He’s pale and sweaty.
BUFFY: Riley?
RILEY: (straightens up, breathlessly) I’m okay. Okay.
GRAHAM: (to Buffy) We’re running out of time. We don’t find the medic soon, he’s not gonna make it.
BUFFY: (thinking fast) Okay, okay, brain surgery. He, he’s gonna need a medical facility, he-he’s gonna need, uh, uh,
equipment…
GRAHAM: This is a big hospital.
BUFFY: No, uh-uh, he wouldn’t do it here. It’s too risky. We’ll split up. Graham, get on the horn, or the … pipe, or
whatever you guys get on, I-I want you to check animal hospitals, doctors’ offices…
Graham walks to the door. Riley stops him.

RILEY: Hey, about before…
GRAHAM: We’re good. Apologize later, if you’re not dead.
He leaves. Riley looks nervously at Buffy. She walks toward him.
BUFFY: (firmly) You are not going to die.
RILEY: Bet you say that to all the boys.
BUFFY: No. There is one peroxided pest whose number is up. (They start to walk off) When I get my hands on Spike, I’m
gonna rip his head off, I’m gonna…
Cut to closeup of Spike’s face. He’s still on the operating table.
SPIKE: …bathe in the slayer’s blood. Gonna dive in it. (with relish) Swim in it.
Shot of Overheiser and Harmony behind the sheet, staring at Spike’s brain. Harmony is smoking another cigarette.
SPIKE: I’m gonna do the bloody backstroke.
Harmony blows out smoke, which drifts toward Spike’s face. She begins to jump up and down.
HARMONY: I see it, Spikey! I see the chip! It’s nestled in there like … a pretty little Easter egg with your brain all around

it like that green plastic grassy stuff … only this is more a beige, like-
OVERHEISER: Would you please put out that cigarette? It’s really not allowed.

HARMONY: Oh yeah? Says who?
The doctor turns to look pointedly at the NO SMOKING sign on the wall.
HARMONY: Oh god, sorry! Didn’t see the sign!
She turns away to put out the cigarette. The doctor turns and drops something into a dish. It makes a metallic clinking
noise.
OVERHEISER: The chip’s out. (Harmony squeals excitedly) Didn’t think I could do it, I just … it’s out.
SPIKE: Yeah?
HARMONY: (jumping up and down, clapping) Yay! Yay for Spikey!
SPIKE: Right then. (determinedly) Stitch me up, doc. Got places to go. And slayers to kill.
Blackout.
Act IV
Fade in on Harmony holding the crossbow. Pan across to Spike, sitting up while the doctor puts a few last stitches in his
head.
SPIKE: Listen to me. My stomach’s growling, I’m so starved. (The doc looks nervous, begins to apply a bandage) I’m
afraid I’m gonna have to have me a little snack.
Overheiser looks very nervous. Spike turns his head to speak over his shoulder.
SPIKE: Oh, don’t worry. I won’t fill up on the bread. I’ll still have plenty of room for the main course.
The door opens and Buffy walks in, followed by Riley.
SPIKE: (fiercely) Slayer!
He jumps off the table. Harmony moves to stand beside him, holding the crossbow. Buffy and Riley stand side-by-side.
Faceoff. The doctor tries to sidle around toward the door.
Spike morphs into vampire face.
SPIKE: Suit up, Harm.
Harmony morphs into vampire face.

Buffy turns to stop the doc as he tries to leave.
BUFFY: Stay here. (She pushes him so he falls to the floor) We’re gonna need you.
SPIKE: Buffy. I swear I was just thinking of you. I wanted to tell you the great news. My head’s all clear now. No more
bug-zapper in my noggin.
BUFFY: That means I get to kill you.
SPIKE: You get to try.
The standoff continues. Suddenly the crossbow goes off and the arrow flies, landing in Riley’s leg. Buffy looks over at
him. Riley doesn’t seem to react.
HARMONY: Oops.
Riley storms toward her. She moves toward him. He brushes the crossbow out of her hands.
Buffy punches Spike in the face.
Riley throws Harmony down on the operating table, picks her up and throws her against a wall full of equipment.
Buffy punches Spike in the face a few more times; he stumbles back against the operating table.
Riley punches Harmony, throws her across the room, leans against a counter panting. He turns as Harmony shoves a
wheeled chair toward him. He trips over it and goes down. Harmony kicks him in the face.
Spike jumps up onto the operating table and grins down at Buffy. In the background we can still see and hear Riley and
Harmony exchanging blows.
SPIKE: At long last.
He leaps on top of Buffy, carrying her to the ground and landing on top of her. He pins her hands down and bends to bite
her neck. Buffy struggles.
Spike gives a yell of pain and jerks backward. Buffy punches him, then shoves him off her so he lands next to the doctor.
Spike looks angrily at Overheiser, who looks scared.
Riley punches Harmony in the face; she kicks him away. He starts toward her again but stops, grabbing his chest and
groaning in pain.
BUFFY: Riley!
Riley stumbles against a metal table and falls down with it on top of him. Harmony looks at her fist, then runs off.
Buffy crawls over to Riley and puts her hands on his chest.
BUFFY: Riley.
Spike gets up and opens the container where the doctor supposedly put his chip. He takes out a penny from inside it.
SPIKE: (looking at doctor) A penny?
OVERHEISER: (getting up) I told you I couldn’t do it.
BUFFY: Oh god. Doctor! Doctor, we need you now!
The doctor rushes to lift the table off of Riley as Spike and Harmony move to the door. Spike grabs his jacket and pauses
to look back, then turns and leaves.
Buffy and the doctor lift Riley up to a sitting position.
Cut to exterior graveyard, night. Spike and Harmony run between the trees and gravestones.
SPIKE: Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! Everywhere I turn, she’s there! That nasty little face, that … bouncing shampoo-commercial
hair, that whole sodding holier-than-thou attitude.
HARMONY: Well, aren’t we kinda unholy, by the-

SPIKE: She follows me, you know, tracks me down. I’m her pet project. Drive Spike round the bend. Makes every day a
fresh bout of torture.
He stops running, picks up a headstone and throws it against another. Harmony cringes as the dust showers her.
HARMONY: Spike!
SPIKE: You don’t understand. I can’t get rid of her. She’s everywhere. She’s haunting me, Harmony!
He grabs her upper arms. She looks very scared. Spike stares at her, slowly calms down.
SPIKE: (quietly) This … has got to end.
Cut to Riley lying on the operating table, with the doctor putting a bandage on his chest. Buffy walks in.
OVERHEISER: All patched up.
Overheiser exits and Riley sits up. We see that in addition to being shirtless, he’s also only wearing half a pair of jeans —
the other pant-leg was cut away to help get the arrow out of his leg. Another bandage is wrapped around his thigh. He
picks up his shirt and begins to put it on. Buffy puts one hand on Riley’s good leg and lightly touches the bandage on his
chest with her other hand.
BUFFY: How’s it goin’ in there?
RILEY: Good. Back to normal.
Buffy leans her head against his chest to listen to his heartbeat.
BUFFY: Yep.
He strokes her hair. She leans back and takes his bruised hand in hers, pulling his hand to her heart.
BUFFY: And see … I’m still touchable.
RILEY: (nods) Give me a week or so to heal, and … I’ll take full advantage of that fact.
Buffy smiles, still holding his hand
BUFFY: Are you gonna be okay? ‘Cause I should really go check on my mom.
Riley looks up at her.
RILEY: Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. I’ll be fine.
BUFFY: I’ll talk to you later.
He nods. She leans up and kisses him softly, then turns away.
Shot of Riley’s hands as Buffy pulls her out of his grasp and leaves.
Shot of Riley watching her go, looking pensive.
Cut to Riley and Graham walking down the hall in a dorm or frat building. Riley has a noticeable limp. Graham’s face is
still bruised.
GRAHAM: It’s a good thing Buffy found you when she did, ’cause you were about to detonate big-time. Always said she’s
pretty impressive.
RILEY: You know, she really is.
GRAHAM: But you know you don’t belong here, right? (Keeps walking and talking although Riley has stopped walking
and is staring at his back) This town? I mean, you’re nothin’ here.
RILEY: Hey. (Graham stops walking, turns to look at him) What are you saying?
GRAHAM: Come on, man. You know it’s true. There’s nothing for you here.
RILEY: There’s her.
GRAHAM: Okay, right, there’s her. And? You used to have a mission, and now you’re what? The mission’s boyfriend?
Mission’s true love?
Riley looks at the floor, then walks on, past Graham.

GRAHAM: You belong with us.
Riley doesn’t reply, keeps walking. Graham watches him go.
Cut to Spike’s crypt. Spike is sleeping in his chair. Banging noises. Spike opens his eyes and gets up as the door flies
open and Buffy walks in.
SPIKE: Should have known it’s you. Been nearly six hours.
BUFFY: Well, it would’ve been less if I wasn’t busy cleaning up your mess.
SPIKE: My mess? I just borrowed the doc. The mess is yours, Slayer. Yours and the boy’s.
BUFFY: I’m done.
She takes a stake from her back pocket and walks toward Spike. He looks surprised.
BUFFY: Spike, you’re a killer. And I shoulda done this years ago.
Spike looks her in the eye.
SPIKE: You know what? Do it. Bloody just do it.
BUFFY: What?
SPIKE: End … my … torment. Seeing you, every day, everywhere I go, every time I turn around. Take me … out of a
world … that has you in it! (Yanks off his shirt and throws it aside) Just kill me!
Buffy stares at him, then raises her stake and lunges. Spike winces, but she stops at the last minute. They stare into each
other’s eyes.
Suddenly Spike grabs Buffy by the upper arms and kisses her passionately. She returns the kiss. It goes on for a moment
and then Buffy pulls back with a little noise of dismay, bringing her hand to her mouth. She stares at Spike and he stares
back, both panting. The stake is gone from her hand.
Slowly Buffy drops her hand from her mouth and walks back to Spike, putting both her hands to the back of his head and
pulling him down toward her. They kiss again, very passionate. Spike brings his hands up to clutch her back, kissing her
cheek and the side of her neck.
BUFFY: (panting) Spike … I want you.
SPIKE: (muffled against her neck) Buffy, I love you.
He pulls back. Closeup of Buffy staring at him.
SPIKE: (OS) God, I love you so much.
Cut to Spike sitting up in bed with a gasp.
Shot of Harmony sleeping in the bed next to him.
Shot of Spike sitting up in the bed, looking horrified, while Harmony continues to sleep.
SPIKE: Oh, god, no.
Closeup of Spike’s face.
SPIKE: Please, no.
Blackout. The sound of Spike panting continues as the producer credit appears.
Executive Producer: Joss Whedon.

Marianne LeBlanc
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